Attitude For Life

This has been around for a long time but I like repeating it from time to time. It is an essay of sort regarding how one can approach life. Most certainly there are circumstances within our life over which we have no control.

We do have power over our own attitude and how those circumstances effect us. It is with that power that one can overcome obstacles or at the very least 'ride through' those tough times.

So read on and see if you can capture the spirit of its meaning. Adapt it within your own life. It will not keep the good or bad from happening. What it will do is allow you to adjust your own path through what life throws at you.

Attitude

The longer I live
The more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than the past,
Than education,
Than money,
Than circumstances,
Than failures,
Than success,
Than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance,
Giftedness or skill.
It will make or break an organization,
A school, a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
Regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do
Is play the string we have.
And that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
And 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you.

- Charles Swindoll

Series Of Misfortunes

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.”
Michel de Montaigne (French Philosopher and Writer. 1533-1592)

I recently took my sixteen year old son to the funeral of another sixteen year old friend. A very nice young boy that was in an unfortunate accident. Two of three boys were killed in that accident and those lives remaining were changed forever. The driver of the other vehicle is the son of friends that are close to my brother-in-law.

There was no fault of this other driver and the young man driving the vehicle in which the three boys were in simply over-corrected when his car went off the side of the road. Unfortunate circumstances that brought time to a stop much too early for these two young boys.

Montaigne wrote that his life was full of terrible misfortune. Misfortune as having been party to an accident, having a friend die tragically or other life changing events. But your life is not a series of misfortunes. Do not let the hard things in life convince you that all of life is bad. Take this as a life changing event. Carry on the memory of who that person was, what the event meant and create something bigger and better from it. That something is your life, to carry on in a greater manner.

Bad things will happen in life and it is we who choose the path to follow afterwards. Create a path of greatness from the lessons of misfortune. Remember with fondness the memory of those gone before you and hold onto the dream of a bright tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heartfelt prayers and condolences to both families. Your pain and sorrow will ease in time. Take hold of the loving memory that each of your sons gave to you. Let it be a gift from each of them to last your life.

JOHN MICHAEL SEFCIK
John Michael Sefcik, age 16 of Buford, GA, died Tuesday, February 20, 2007 from injuries sustained in an automobile accident. Mr. Sefcik is survived by his father and step mother, John and Liuba Sefcik, Buford, GA; Mother, Carmen A. Sefcik, Germany; Brother, Timo Sefcik, Germany; Brother and Fiancé’, Rouven Sefcik and Alicia Newman, Dover Air Force Base, Delaware; Step Brother, Sasha Alov, Buford, GA. Many Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. Michael was born in Pruem, Germany while his father was serving in the U.S. Military and lived in the metro Atlanta area the past 6 years. He was a student at Mill Creek High School.
Hamilton Mill Memorial Chapel (www.hamiltonmillchapel.com)

PAUL COLEMAN
Paul Coleman age 16 of Buford died Tuesday, February 20, 2007. Paul is survived by his parents Jon, Jr. and Ronna Coleman, of Buford; Paternal Grandparents- Jon, Sr. and Pat Coleman, of Hampton, GA; Maternal Grandparents- Don and Donna Townsend, Of Texas. Paul was of the Baptist Faith and attended Mill Creek High School.
Tapp/Tim Stewart Funeral Home (www.stewartfh.com)

Why Don't He Write No More

It has been a few too many days since I've written. Even though I do not consider myself a writer, I can feel sort of what it is like to have 'writers block.' With my work and all that goes on in life, my mind has drifted to other parts of that life. Yet I do find myself wondering how many of the great writers may have dealt with this.

Even many of the inspirational speakers that weekly get up and speak to thousands of people must go through periods and seasons. Just how many ways can you describe the benefits of living life in a positive way? Examples abound out there and I read as much as time will allow.

The stories, the anecdotes or even the occassional comic are all intended to give you different perspectives of attitude. I have been struggling to find a way to place these stories to book. Is there a formula that works for many of you. Should it be 365 days of attitude, a book, a daily calendar or attitude fortune cookies?

Maybe those of you out there could help me. I'm looking for a publisher or how to contact the appropriate ones with the idea. I'm looking for affirmation that there would be interest out there. And maybe I should take my own advice and simply step out there and simply do it.

Send me your comments and I'll get my 'inspiration' back soon enough. Writing today is the first step in starting it all back up again.

Doors Of Change

Picture source, Life In Italy

Flora Whittemore - “The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”

There are many doors you choose to walk through each day. Varying shapes and styles, of colors and age. Some are grand elegant doors and others are broken.

You get to pick most of these doors through which you travel each day. Sometimes, the choices are limited and at other times, only one is there to go through.

So you choose, go through or turn back. Like the building by the crossroads I have spoken before, it may start with only one door, but going through it will open your eyes to so many more choices.

(Read Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - Life At A Crossroads)

It takes a bold first step to open and walk through that one door. Then it becomes a series of opening and closing doors. Trying never to look back but to move forward with each bold decision that you make. Reach out and turn the door knob to change in your life.

A Dog's Day

Today was a great day and is one of those days that you just feel good about your life. Our family has been 'dog-less' for a couple of years and it was simply time to lighten our home up again.

This particular girl was adopted through the local humane society near where we live. These animals are foster cared for until a suitable family can be found. It isn't a simple "come in and pay your money" exercise either. A reasonable amount of interviewing is performed. These people that perform this service are folks that deeply care for the well-being of these abandoned pets.

As pets go, they can be very good companions and there is evidence to suggest better health when a loving pet is around the home. If you have the right temperment and get a general good feeling when your pet is near, then stress can be relieved. This alone will help with your heart and other stress-related issues.

So is a pet right for everyone? Probably not, but for us it was time. For many others it may not be the right time. If you are not able to adopt a pet, then consider supporting your local chapter. Its a good way to help out a great cause...its a good way to feel good about yourself.

Little Truisms

Here is a little something that is making the rounds on the internet. It has some nice little truisms to live by. Enjoy and have a great weekend everyone.

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR.
When you say, "I love you", mean it.

FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.

ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN..
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY ONE.
Spend some time alone.

Burning Yourself

A recent article in Readers Digest - "Burned Out", a story unfolds regarding how we tend to be the 'do all' people. Between family activities, trying to get ahead at work, being the charity worker and getting to the gym to stay healthy - there just doesn't seem to be enough time during the day.

Yet it isn't time that is a factor. The same amount of seconds, minutes and hours still exist within a 24 hour period as did when time was first measured. As individuals, we are the ones that fill up the seconds of our day. And as you may have noted, I said the 'seconds' of our day. For those that are nearing burnout have pushed themselves to the point of having to count the seconds.

With the stress comes increasing mental and physical fatigue. Your job suffers, your friends suffer, your family suffers and you suffer. There are many symptoms and signs that any short search of the internet or talking to your family doctor can help reveal.

While the Readers Digest article concentrates on 'burn out' at work, stress and 'burn out' can happen to anyone that stretches themselves too thin, trying to be the 'all and everything.' To overcome burnout, the article suggests the following eight recommendations. For more detail on each, I'd suggest reading the article.

- Make time for yourself
- Develop a method to calm yourself
- Analyze what you love and hate about your work (or whatever it is your are doing)
- Settle for less than perfect
- Take good care of yourself
- Cultivate a support network (those fish net connections I've talked about)
- Set limits (saying 'no' is a valid answer)
- Plan for the future

American author Natalie Goldberg is quoted as saying, “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.” Maybe take seven minutes out of your day...and yes, that is only 420 seconds...to relax and think about it.

Mending Fishing Nets

"Repairing Fishing Nets"
- photography by Don Kon

Your life is like a series of connections, like the knots of a fishing net. Each knot is a relationship with another person. As these knots or connections grow, the larger the net becomes. Your impact on other peoples lives grows as well.

But you can't simply create a connection and forget about it. Each knot of the net has to be tended to. When a weak spot develops, a hole can develop. Not only your relationship but a piece of your life slips through.

When this happens, what is left will be difficult to gather back in. So mending and caring for each connection is important.

These relationships are more important than having all of the money in the world. These relationships define who you are. An old saying goes something like this, "he who dies with the most toys wins." But the reality of it is that "he who dies with the most toys still dies."

Tend to your life net connections, those relationships that will improve your life and others. The net will be there when you fall and help you when you recover. It will impact and connect many people to many others. It is your impact on other lives that will mean the most when life ends...a lasting memory to guide others when you are long gone.

Seventh Day

A day of relaxation, a day of reflection and a day to rejuvenate for a new week. You take time out through out your week to catch your breath. It is a necessary part of everything we do in life. The frustrations can build due to work, family issues or the everyday things that life throws at you.

With good attitude and a cheerful spirit, most days pass with an ability to see it through. You may even find yourself using my belief in a 'seven minutes a day' to stop and reflect. But on the seventh day, which may be a Saturday or Sunday, it may be any day that fits into your life schedule. The seventh day should be used to stop and regroup your self.

I would not be so bold to say that life goes after others, it comes after me and those around me as well. Each of us has to take time to re-gather our thoughts. To build ourselves back up for another round of taking on life. It gets easier as you go on in life. You find moments during the day that you can use, those seven minutes, that will work well for you.

The English author Ashleigh Brilliant once said, “Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.” Life is a series of mini-crisis as some may say. I say if you take time out each day and also provide a day for yourself, life will be much grander. Take time for yourself and you will be better prepared to impact others.

After The Job

Last night, I attended a gathering of people to help celebrate the retirement of a long-time co-worker. This man worked for nearly 25 years at the same company as me, having put in seventeen previous to this one at a different company.

He is a man that I had interactions with at various points in my own career with each of us at different positions along the way. He was always there with a smile, a bit of cheer in his voice and from what I could tell, goodness in his heart.

As it is with retirement and people moving on from the life of a career job, each of us will move on to new things in our life. The people you once worked with will slip into the past with our memories. We will remember each other and from time to time reconnect. Yet having known each other enrichens our lives. It helps shape who we've become and what we will continue to be.

As you go about your work day, know that one day you will retire or move on to other things. Create goodness in all that you do. It will impact those you work with for a life time. Thank you Ray for the daily smile and good word. Enjoy your life and the memories will live on.

“Life's truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.”

Keeping A Dream

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” - Marie Curie

A couple of good friends of mine here in the Atlanta area are guys that inspire me with their level of perseverance. Guys that I look up to as examples of not letting life beat you down. To continue on despite the difficulty.

Both were hit by the down swing in the job market a couple of years ago. The experts say the job market has rebounded but its certainly a different market. Many that were let go were older employees with higher paying salaries. When the various industries started hiring again, they were looking for young people and much lower salary costs.

In trying to get rehired, each of these individuals has continued to look, to try and reinsert themselves into their fields of experience. Both were very good and the circumstances each faced were beyond their control. So they keep doing what it takes to survive, not only for themselves but mainly for their families.

It can be painful to watch their struggle to regain what was lost. Yet I would never suggest that pain is even close to what they are going through. And every time I see these individuals, they are positive and continuing living each day. My wish is for each of them to find their way back into what it is they each do so well.

For each of us, they are great examples of perseverance in the wake of adverse conditions. Life has an odd and non-discriminatory way of placing burden upon people. Keep after your dream each day.

Have Faith

"When you get to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." - Edward Teller



You must have faith in yourself and in your beliefs that all will work out. If not, you will never begin your first step down any path. Start your journey now and learn to believe and trust. Step out into the unknown and achieve.

-the artist is Kevin A. Williams

Healthier Lives

“Our bodies are getting healthier and we're living much longer and the biggest threat now to being able to function well and productively when we're older is in the functioning of the brain.”
- Ian Robertson

Living a longer and healthier life is something we as men fail to acknowledge early enough in life. But with more information, we can each take care of ourselves much better. A recent article in Best Health Magazine regarding maintaining a healthier heart, also provides a list of the best medical tests for men.

I've provided a list and the article indicates that catching a problem in its early stages is now possible with new technology. But most of these tests won't get prescribed by a doctor unless you ask for them. So here they are, treat your body and then treat your brain. How to treat your brain...look up what each of the tests are and read about them.

30s

Fasting Blood Glucose - once a year
HIV ELISA / Western Blot - once every five years
High Sensitivity CRP and Homocysteine Tests - every five years
Testicular Exam - monthly
Body Mass Index - every three years, or whenever you gain weight
Full Lipid Profile - at least once every five years
Blood Pressure - once a year
Dental Exam - twice a year

40s

Carotid Duplex Ultrasound - once at age 40, then as necessary depending on results
PSA - once a year
Dermatological Exam - annual self-exam; professional exam every five years
64-Slice CT Scan - once at age 40, then every five years or as necessary depending upon results
Glaucoma Test (Tonometry) - one every two years

50s

Colonoscopy - once every 5-10 years or as necessary depending upon results
Hearing - every three years

Unknown Kindness

There are days when you wonder what all of the fuss is about. Having a positive attitude, being a generally nice person and just doing good in your life. You smiled and thanked the person behind the counter at the gas station. They frowned and probably gave you that "you're weird" look. Maybe everyone you come in contact with just isn't on that same good feeling level that you are.

It hardly seems worth staying on the positive stream of life. If nobody else is getting on board, why should you keep on trying. It must mean that life isn't all that great and you might as well join the frown crowd. But persevere in your way of life, happiness can be and is a way of life that everyone can enjoy.

What you do today, the way you treat others will impact those yet unknown. That attendant may simply take the smile and pass it on. It will silently slip from them with the next person they assist. They won't even realize where it came from. The person receiving it will smile back, touched by the small act of kindness. So was it worth it? You smiling regardless of what you received in return made a change in someones life. Someone you didn't know, someone that will never know it came from you.

"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects." - Herman Melville

Greater Intentions

One of the people I have been reading lately is Dr. Wayne Dyer and pulling words of attitude and inspiration from what he says. To introduce you to him, I've linked to a video called Power of Intention. It is a rather long video (1hour 14min) but is a great way to start you on your own journey finding a greater attitude, a greater purpose and a greater life.