Final Thoughts, First Thoughts

The final day of year 2007 and some final thoughts as we move into a new year. The past year has brought many different things into your life. There have been sorrows and pain mixed in with joy and success. Each of us have found a way to bring ourselves to this the 31st of December.

You have been presented with many opportunities to stretch your self into a better person. To take your self to a better place by being the better person and by being a person of impact to others. With a positive attitude, it is my belief your year was a good one.

As this new year is set to ring in, be safe and joyous. The celebrations will continue well past the stroke of midnight and into the new day of the new year. Once you have celebrated and rested, take a moment to write down your dreams, visions or goals for the new year.

Think of a few things that you would like to accomplish. There are many things it could be as everyone's dreams are different. Just know that it all begins with knowing what you want to achieve. Once you have it written on paper, tape it to your bedroom mirror so that you see it every morning and night.

Looking at your goals on a piece of paper doesn't make it come to reality. You now have to figure out what needs to be done to achieve the goal. It could be changing your attitude, it could be changing your knowledge or maybe a change in environment.

So take the first couple of weeks in 2008 to understand your self and what changes you need to make to achieve that goal. It then comes down to executing your plans to achieve, by taking that first step towards the vision.

"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision." Its going to be a great year for you and I wish you nothing but the best.

Prepared For Opportunity

"Chance favors the prepared mind."
-Louis Pasteur (French chemist and microbiologist, 1822-1895)

Each of us are looking for the perfect chance or opportunity to present itself to us. But many of us are never prepared to take advantage of that opportunity. You must constantly prepare your self for when the moment arrives, you will be ready to grab hold of the 'brass ring'.

Merry Christmas and Peace To All

Holiday Loneliness Change

"No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within; paper lanterns among the dark trees." -Carol Borges

During the holidays, loneliness can be a very oppressive feeling for people. Be it circumstance, due to death of a close one or miles of separation; the feeling is real and hard to cope with.

“There’s so much hype for this wonderful time of togetherness,” said Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, Calif., “that it accentuates the feeling of being alone and disconnected.” And even more, “Many people try to make the holidays be more than what they are,” said Craig Ellison, Ph.D., “They invest in them heavily, thinking they’ll make up for the other 364 days of the year,” he said.

How to cope or how to change these feelings? No easy answers but the following items may help you. It comes from the About.Com, written by Elizabeth Scott.

- Be Good To Yourself
This can not completely rid those feelings of loneliness, but taking special care of yourself can help you to feel better and enjoy your solitude more. Take the time to do things that will enhance your self esteem. Give your self good level of fun that can help lift your spirits.

- Understand That You’re Not Alone
While you may be feeling alone in your life right now, knowing that the holidays can be a lonely time for many people may help you to feel less so. While it may be uncomfortable to feel lonely, it’s also okay to feel this way.

- Rethink Your Expectations
Part of why holidays feel more lonely for many people is that our society has high expectations for this time of year. The absence of Realize that few people’s lifestyles truly measure up to “movie standards” of perfect living, and shift your focus to all the great things you do have in your life.

- Get Connected
It is possible to feel lonely when surrounded by people, but it’s harder to feel lonely when you’re reaching out to them. Whether you’re saying hello to neighbors you’re usually too rushed to acknowledge, exchanging friendly words with people at the office, or picking up the phone and calling an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, reaching out to people and strengthening bonds can help you feel more connected and less lonely.

- Give To Others
One excellent way to feel less lonely during the holidays is to donate your time to a cause you believe in. Helping others who are less fortunate than you can fill you with feelings of love and pride, and even connect you with others who share your passion. You’ll be part of something larger than yourself, and you’ll be immersing yourself in the true spirit of the holiday season.

- Examine Your Feelings
This one probably won’t make you feel better immediately, but if you feel lonely much of the time, this may be a cue that some changes are in order for the coming year. You may want to examine what’s behind your feelings of loneliness. Would you benefit from putting more time into your social life so that you have stronger relationships? Is something inside of you causing you to keep people a t a distance? If you’d like to deepen your friendships, it can cost a little extra time and energy, but the payoff is having increased support and feelings of being heard and understood. Making time for friends, truly listening when your friends talk, and being there for them are all ways to build supportive friendships.

There are many great articles for you to read but it all comes from within. Change and movement will give you a path to embark upon. It will take you away from the loneliness towards something more for your life. For others, sharing a smile or a friendly conversation can be just the thing that person needs. Know that everyone you touch may be in just this type of situation. Extending a small amount of kindness can be the key to setting them on a better path.

Greet the holidays with kindness and greet those around you. Impact the lives of others and your life will be impacted as well.

Overcoming Again

Benjamin Franklin left us with many great things that have survived and remain relevant even today. Many see him as one born into greatness and a life of ease. But this is far from the truth of the obstacles he had to overcome.

One of the things he did was serving as an apprentice in a print shop to his older brother. Now you have to understand the time and place this occurred. This would be in Boston back in 1718 and was basically indentured to perform the menial tasks while learning the trade. His brother was much older and would take out his frustrations on Benjamin by beating him.

Benjamin persevered and was able to see that there was another way. During these times it would mean trying to gain his freedom from his apprenticeship only to find that no one would hire him as his brother had put the word out. So it was through various means he set off for New York, nearly penniless and no letter of recommendation in order to get hired.

To read about his obstacles or ‘rocks within his wagon’ is quite astounding to read. But I will not say that his trials and tribulations were any more then what someone else may have endured. As I’ve said before, tell me your sad story and I’ll tell you a hundred sadder stories.

As I read on Franklin though, he didn’t let these issues deter him or lessen his enthusiasm to better himself in life. Much like you need to do in life, continue with a positive attitude to overcome whatever confronts you.

Benjamin Franklin said when writing his autobiography, “as I reflect on my current happiness, I can honestly say that if I were given the opportunity to live my life over again from the beginning I would do so.” He goes on to say that he would like to correct certain things in life...but knowing if he could not he goes on to say, “nonetheless, even if both requests were denied, I would still accept the offer.”

Make what you can of life in such a manner so that you can say without pause that you would accept the offer to live it all over again.

Believe In Your Self

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success." -Norman Vincent Peale

Take advantage of the good will and good feelings of the holiday season. Let those feelings build your own confidence to strengthen in your heart that you can do great things. Let the overwhelming thoughts embolden you as the new year approaches. You can do great things, it all starts with believing in your self.

Holiday Stress

“You need to find something that can buffer holiday stress ...and allow down time to self preserve. People need time to just chill, relax and enjoy each other.” -Susan Fletcher

Keep It Simple - if you watch any track and field sports, the high jumper does not start with the highest bar. They work themselves up from a less loftier pursuit. The same goes for us, if we set a bar so terribly high and fail to meet it will cause us to fall much further. Keep expectations reasonable, keep preparations simple so you will be less tired or in debt. It is said, "the holiday spirit is not about cooking the perfect meal or buying the perfect presents."

If buying gifts and getting everything perfect with those gifts is a source of stress, try one or more of the following:

* Shop from home using mail-order catalogs.
* Shop early or shop a little bit at a time.
* Set a time limit for holiday gift buying.
* Choose simple gifts.
* Treat Yourself Right

Be kind to yourself and allow some time for doing what you enjoy doing. Limit your alcohol and rich foods intake. Also, try to get your usual amount of sleep.

Start Your Own Traditions - growing up you probably had certain traditions for the holidays. But now those same traditions are not possible and they tug at your heart. Well start your own traditions that include those around or near you. New idea and traditions can also become just as cherished as the older ones are.

Acknowledge Losses - for many people, a loved one has passed on or a love has been lost. You can acknowledge the loss in simple ways. Maybe looking through a photo album or just reminiscing. Try to establish some new traditions for the holidays while holding on to parts of the old. The

Watch Out For Family Strife - let it go, it is not necessary to bring up old grievances. The holidays are not a good time for resolving family disputes or confronting relatives. If it does happen, just agree on a time after the holidays to work them out. Emotions will be much better under control and the holidays are about being together and not fighting each other.

Be A Volunteer - involve yourself with the local food pantry or homeless shelter to assist during the season. It will place you around others and you will meet new people. Giving of yourself fills you more than you would think.

Do Something After The Holidays - after all is said and done, the torn wrappings are in the trash, the eggnog is gone and hangovers relieved, do a few activities that are non-holiday in nature. A short trip to the museum, coffee with a friend or a walk through the nature center. Do something that you can look forward to and will help transition you into non-holiday mode.

Enjoy the holidays, don't make this the "one" that has to be perfect...there are many more of them. Just relax, be with family and friends and let the holidays just happen.

Changing Attitude

Read this quote just recently and it says quite a bit. So on its own merit, see if it can change the way you think about your life.

"Don't like where you are? Than change it. Can't change it? Than change your attitude." -Tabitha Yvonne

Sharing An Onion

So many times we go about our day with the attitude that all that I have is mine and should not be shared. Is there room in our hearts to share something with others? Maybe use our abilities to help others or give them a helping hand instead of pushing them away.

There is an old story of an old woman and an onion. This woman died and could not go to Heaven because she had been mean and cruel to everyone all her life. She went to Hell, and from there she prayed for mercy. Was there no way she could be admitted to Heaven?

An angel who guards the gates looked around and asked all of the souls in Heaven, "Is there anyone here who has ever had a kind word or an act of generosity from this woman?" Only one stepped forth. He said that in life he had been a starving beggar, and one time this woman had given him an onion.

The angel told him, “Bring me the onion.” It wasn’t much of an onion. It was small and shriveled, a pretty poor meal even for a beggar. Would it be enough of an act of kindness to raise the old woman out of Hell?

The angel took the onion and reached down with it into Hell. The old woman grasped it and the angel began to pull her up. The thin dry stalk seemed like it might snap at any minute, but as she held onto it, her feet were lifted from the ground.

The other damned souls around her saw her beginning to rise Heavenward and they grabbed at her skirts and her feet, hoping to be pulled up with her. The onion stalk was so spindly. Would it hold?

The old woman looked down at the other damned souls clinging to her and yelled, “Let go! It’s my onion!” And with that, the onion broke.

Living life is hard enough but to be a decent person and have the attitude of giving will be a huge testament to your life. Small or large, each act of generosity or kindness will eventually find its way back to you. Have kindness and a spirit of generosity not only during this holiday season, but throughout the year.

Preparing For The New Year

As you prepare yourself for the Christmas Holiday or even as you approach the new year, it is a good time to evaluate your life. I like to say that 'now' is the best time when you are making a decision to make change. But there are many people that use a calendar event such as the first of January.

So what are the things you should be thinking and preparing for? Here are three questions to ask yourself.

1. Where are you?

- Examine yourself, are you happy, do you have strengths and weaknesses, is your life the type of life you want it to be? You need to understand where you are and who you are to better equip yourself to succeed.

2. What do you see around you?

- Meaning what do you see for you, do you have a vision for your life, a goal or dreams. Why go anywhere unless you have a destination in mind. The same goes for success in your life. Unless you have a goal in mind, the journey has little direction.

3. What do you want?

- You have established a goal, a set of dreams and visions of what you want your life to be. So do you really want it? Do you wish to simply sit still and only dream and plan, never moving closer to realizing it? You have to be bold now and move towards that dream. One step, small or large it all begins with being bold enough to start it.

Your new year will bring many changes if only you take that first step. Be bold, I know you can do it because all of us have it in us. Goals and dreams are powerful motivators, let them drive you to a great life.