Five Bad Attitudes

With the wrong type of attitude, you can pretty much guarantee non-success in your life. An article by Yvonne Finn discusses five attitudes that will help you avoid being successful. I list them here but encourage you to read the article for her take on each attitude.

1. Be cynical and skeptical of everything and everyone.

2. In Business be quick to jump from one opportunity to the next without giving any one a reasonable amount of time and effort for success.

3. Never take responsibility for your own failures, it is always someone or something outside of your control.

4. Give the impression that you know everything and belittle other people's ideas, opinions and contributions to projects and your life and success.

5. Always take full credit for successful ventures.

I could add commentary to most any of these. But I do believe you will recognize why these are not good attitudes to embrace. Be a person of great attitude and see success come your way.

Setting and Achieving Goals

"Every Goal has a cost." - Dean Sweetman

Many times we go through life looking for that quick fix. The thing that will enable us to easily obtain that which we want. It may be buying a lottery ticket to get that big payout so we can pay off our debt. It may be answering the call to a get rich quick scheme. Only to be thrown into deeper misery when it wasn't what it seemed.

No, every goal in life does have a cost associated with it. I truly doubt that we could call it a goal if it simply came to us. For every goal we set will require some amount of effort and probable change in you. It will require you to be of good character...The type of person that will complete the task when no one else is looking.

Character can not be something that we put on when others are around. Character is not a convenient accessory to parade in public. Character is who you are when no one else is around. What are the traits of good character?

Character is moral strength that is proven to stay true.
It is commitment to your values.
Patient endurance when life is going badly.
Honesty at the price of punishment.
Integrity in secret.
Reliability and predictable behavior.
Stability because consistency has power.
Commitment to do what you said you would do.
Being faithful to the goal even when it hurts.

Your goals in life are attainable with the right attitude, the right level of character and the willingness to see the bigger picture. Be a person of change, be a person that achieves and be a person that impacts others. The goals you set will become reality.

Labor Day - Reflect on the Year

This weekend is a three-day event here in the U.S. because Monday is a holiday. This one for us is called Labor Day and is typically a summer ending holiday which marks the end of summer vacations and the start of the school year.

It is also a good time to renew oneself to complete goals that were set at the beginning of the year. Remember those, the things you wanted to accomplish back on January 1st when best intentions were spilling forth. So how have you done? What was that goal you had in mind?

From a recent article I read, five items were pointed out relative to goals:

(WHAT) A goal should be specfic.
(HOW MUCH) A goal needs to be measurable.
(UNDER PROJECT/OVER PERFORM) A goal should be attainable.
(HOW) A goal should be realistic.
(WHEN) A goal should be tangible.

Evaluate what you have done so far this year and see what you can do in order to accomplish your goals. You will be a far better person for having accomplished a goal both in the eyes of others and more importantly, in you.

“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get.” - Jim Rohn

Simplify Your Life

From John McPherson, a talented and funny artist. The life each of us lives can be summed up this way. I do imagine you can go back in time a few years or even hundreds of years to see the same type of busy schedule people lead.

There are ways to simplify your life and it comes down to determining what is important to you. Each of us make choices everyday to commit to various things which fill our day. Not all commitments are bad and circumstance can yield the same harried and complicated life.

So enjoy life the best way you can. Look for ways to set priorities in your life and take time to (as the saying goes) "stop and smell the roses" once in a while.

Have a great day everyone.

Thankful For Apologies

Life doesn't go by without there being at least one moment in which you are wronged. The act of something happening to you, perceived or real is something that occurs. How you deal and react to this is very important. Do you allow yourself to be brought down, to ruin your day and effect all that you do, hopefully not.

Yet it is how we react the apology another gives us that can have a great impact. Many times, when someone tells you they are 'sorry' for what they have done, how do you respond? A great many people will respond with, 'not a problem, its okay.' And why we say that when many times it did effect us is an odd thing.

That person whom is wishing to extend an apology is attempting to 'right a wrong' and acknowledge that you were hurt or offended. If you respond as noted above is diminishing or making light of their attempt. In one way, it is returning a hurtful message that the apology is really meaningless to you.

You should respond with kindness and thankfulness to that person. A simple thank you to them acknowledges the apology and it begins a process of reconciliation of the relationship. All of this will allow you to let go of the 'wrong' and move on with life. Not doing so will allow the issue to linger, which will impact both your life and that of the other person. Apologies are like gifts, be thankful for them.

One Year Anniversary of Attitude

One full year today marks the anniversary of this blog. It is hard to gauge what impact the words may have on individuals around the world. I can see that people from all corners of the earth have read this blog at one time or another.

One of my visions is to impact people in whatever way I can. If the words bring a bit of brightness and hope into your day, then I feel privileged to have been a part of it. If the words have helped you to turn around your life towards a greater life, I feel just as privileged to have been a part of it.

For I know that I am only a small part in your life. The bigger part is you, the one that makes the decision to change your life. To create movement causes change as I am fond of saying. The change may not be exactly what you wanted, but it does force you to confront and move forward. To sit and do nothing means exactly that...nothing will happen.

So thank you for taking time to read my daily words and please pass my link along if you would, for it is better then 'chain email'. And remember, "Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision." -Joseph Primm

Friendship

The friends we have in life are varied in number. Some people have friends every place they go while others have one or two. Yet friendship is gauged not by the number but the quality of those friendships.

There are stories which abound telling of true friendship, acts by those that go beyond a mere acquaintance. From a bibilical story of four men lowering their paralyzed friend through a roof to meet with Jesus to those of friends giving an organ so that another could live. They range from the spectacular to common everyday interactions.

Each of us must count closely those whom we call friends for they are valuable in your life. To pick you up when you are down, to bring you back to reality when you stray from it and to be a stabilizing force in your life. These people give you a solid base from which to grow. You will be able to maintain a better attitude when your strength is built in part by good friendships.

In turn you need to be a good friend to others as well. Giving of yourself to others in kindness, in friendship, in many ways to lift that person is important to your own life.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Success or Failure

I have been reading a book called Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton (link is to a Wikipedia description). It talks about how in our society, the anxiety each of us can have regarding what others think of us. How we react to being judged a success or failure - this is what the author terms 'status anxiety'.

It isn't a book that is attempting to make a call for a different society or return to old ways. It helps to explain why our society is the way it is. To describe how things have changed which place us into a life that helps to create that anxiety. The book offers solutions as well but I've not gotten to that part yet. It came recommended by a person I respect. But I'll leave full judgement until I'm done reading it...as you should as well.

Life Among The Aquatic

Not long back my family and I toured the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. Quite an impressive display of aquatic life presented in an amazing way. I've included a few pictures but found it interesting some of the 'correlations' one can draw to our own lives.















There are so many of us in so many different shapes and sizes. We become drawn to one another based in many varying ways. The variety of life both in a population of fish as well as humans is quite wide.

The type of people out there range from the nicest persons one would ever want to know, all of the way to some of the cruelest ones on earth. Look at a tank full of fish and see the aggressive fish to those that go about their business not bothering others.















Some people blend in to their natural surroundings such as the Leafy Sea Dragon trying to go about life unnoticed. While others you just can't help but notice.















There are so many of us out there and life will present challenges that are unexpected. Remember there are quite a few 'fish' in the sea and opportunity to cross paths with different people. You can impact and be impacted in so many ways. So jump into life, the water is fine.

Reflection On The Day

Through out your day, do you take any amount of time to reflect on different parts of your life or daily activity? To understand what you have accomplished to understand how to accomplish those objectives in your life, reflection must take place. Peter F. Drucker, a 20th century educator and author said, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”

To sit back and contemplate that which you already completed in your life or simply in the last few hours prepares you for what is to come. As I have written before, take seven minutes daily to sit and think of your day. The quiet thought can be used in most any way but should be done with a minimal amount of distraction.

There are those that sit in quiet solitude and that can be difficult to accomplish in this very busy day and age. I tend to use two different methods of doing this. One is on my drive home from work. My radio is set to a classical music station to relax and provided an atmosphere of quiet concentration. Secondly is to use this same method during a lunch hour at work. Placing head phones on to drown out the cacophony of all going on around me.

You may have a method suitable to you, but take the time to think about how your day is going. This reflection helps you understand what went right and what didn't. This will also help prepare you for what is to come. Take seven minutes to reflect and prepare you for more that life has to offer.

Life of Influence

Each of us has one, two or several people that have served as an influence within our lives. These are those people that have had an impact in how we live and believe. I myself had a high school English teacher for one that gave me encouragement to write and express. I certainly may not have all of the skills of a polished writer, but she instilled a love of it in me that stays with me today.

There have been others including a co-worker that mentored me half way through my technical career. He believed in me and gave me the push to become successful at what I do. We work together to this day and I'm forever thankful to him. The same is likely true for each of you.

If you stop and think about whom it is that means something in your life, you may be pleasantly surprised. Also, think of your own impact on others. Your life can and does have influence upon those who need it most. When you needed to be impacted by someone, the same can be said that you have impact on others. Just know and understand that the way you live your life is impacting others. As you rise to meet new challenges, there are those that have been moved by it.

It may be a case where you are fully unaware of the other person. Then again, you may have an opportunity to assist, mentor or guide that person to a greater life. So when you have the chance, thank that person who influenced your life. I missed the chance with my former English teacher, but have done so with my co-worker.

Be a person of influence on others in your world. Help them to a greater life, a better way. In your own life, your influence will carry on in ways you can't imagine. An American writer in the early 19th century said, "a teacher affects eternity; he can never tell, where his influence stops."

It may not be your profession, but your influence on others is like that of a teacher. So live your life as a person of influence on others in your world.

Attitude in Circumstances

The life we all live is filled with varying circumstances. With little regard to a persons present condition, circumstance simply happens. It is how we deal with it that dictates how it impacts our lives. Benjamin Disraeli said, “circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power.”

It is our conduct that you do have control over. How you react, how you perceive and how you continue on with your life will help determine the outcome. For this life that goes on through circumstance and design will create voids that must be filled. As one person moves into another opportunity, a need is created.

You get presented with these opportunities to fill and make change. How you choose to conduct your reaction to opportunity, the challenge or circumstance will determine your success or failure. A pebble in the water causes ripples of change that flow out from it. Do you choose to be angry because the pebble interrupted the calm smooth water? Or do you choose to marvel at the waves it creates along the shore?

Think of a sail boat along the southern coast of the United States. Sitting there with little chance of making progress to its destination. Across the ocean the warm air of the deserts creates a wind coming off the coast of Africa. It builds momentum and blows across the ocean to fill the sails of this boat. One effect causes another and the captain of the sail boat could have chosen to abandon all hope lost, or wait with the attitude knowing that change will occur. For he knows that opportunity will arise and he must be ready for it.

Change, circumstance and new opportunity are the conditions upon which the sail boat and more importantly our lives endure. Maintain a good attitude and believe that change will occur. Whatever the circumstance, be content in knowing that an opportunity has been presented to you. Move forward with belief and knowledge that goodness can come from it.

Bad Things Happening to Good People

You have probably asked this in your own life, "why do bad things happen to good people?" It is an age old type of question that really serves the purpose of wondering why things happen at all. We have a never ending quest to understand that which happens around us.

When it comes to the question itself, bad things don't happen to just good people, they happen to all kinds of people. Life is that way but sympathy for when it happens to bad people just doesn't happen all that often. It is our human nature to feel pity or sorrow for the good folks in life that become afflicted with a bad issue.

A friend of mine through work is recovering from breast cancer after having undergone treatments to overcome this 'bad thing' which happened. She has a great attitude and certainly realize that her bad moments occur, yet she always has a smile upon her face. She is the same person I've always known. A good person upon which a bad thing happened. But she appears to be approaching it with the same fight and attitude that has been a part of her for as long as I've known her.

In an article called, 'Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?' by Deanna Mascle, she gives an example of this as well. We look to the good that has been, is now and will be in the future. It is life happening at us with varying speed and variety. Good happens to good people as well and this you must remember.

Path To Change

A couple of days off from writing has helped to renew my spirit and given me some time to reflect on changes. I have written many times that movement causes change. That change is inevitable and that you must flow and adapt to what life sets before you.

My change is that a son has joined the Army within the last week and is leaving for training in a few more days. Before I go any further, I am no wallowing or asking for empathy. Nor am I here to lift any of this up into greater valor for ones country. Many parents go through the anxiety of 'what could happen'. Many parents also experience the proud feelings of a son or daughter making this step in life.

I myself ran through many of these emotions and to this day, I stand behind my son's decision to make a change. What he has done at age 21 is make a decision to cause movement in his life. His story is like many kids, young adults I should be saying. After high school, attempts at college and finding it was not the answer and then wondering around at low end jobs. Looking for some answer that would let him know what to do.

But in all of that working and waiting, he must have found that he had to make a change in his life. He was not going to be one to sit idly in his home town, same people, same circumstances, 'same old, same old'. So this is the path he chose, the movement for his life that will cause tremendous change for him. One that can cause change for those around and in his life.

In my articles about the 'crossroads', once choose to take those steps through the door of opportunity, you find yourself staring at many different roads. Your job is to choose one of them and move in that direction. No one can tell you what will happen, how the story ends or what it will do to your life. But with an open mind and attitude, movement will cause change in your life and great things will eventually happen.

Atmosphere of Attitude

"The atmosphere we create within ourselves is the life we live, the thoughts we think and emotions we feel. We create our own atmosphere with the words we speak, the attitudes we hold and the songs we sing. We create our culture with the vision we have, the people we are with and the values we live by." - Fergus McIntyre

To be a person working to achieve a great life for yourself and those around you, it starts from within. Your own thoughts and emotions drive what you express outwardly. If you have an attitude of woe and despair. If you are always feeling that 'the worst is yet to come', then your entire being will be shaped in this manner.

Those thoughts and emotions get spoken and expressed outwardly when you engage in life. To have a better image of what life is and can be will get expressed that way. When you speak to others, your words will lift instead of depress. In a woeful place of misery inside yourself, do you really want the outside world to be this way? Likely not, so turn around your internal spirit - turn around to a positive way of thinking.

A positive view will get expressed outwardly causing others to 'want' to be around you. People that are like-minded and looking for this greater life. More opportunity will come your way, more positive reinforcement will come your way. Soon you will find the atmosphere around you and your world creating a culture of greatness.

I have heard it said that there is a place of influence upon each of your lives. The many people you touch and encounter in your life at different levels - you effect each of them. If your influence is one of woe and despair, it will be one of woe and despair that you place upon others. In return it is likely you will only receive woe and despair.

But to be a person of greatness, of encouragement and aspiring attitude - surely you will receive all that and more in return. A great life is one which each of you deserve but it doesn't come free, it isn't a right but it is one that can be achieved. One that everyone can achieve at one level or another. For the great life is different for everyone. Be different and choose greatness, choose now.

Early Morning Light

Early Morning Light
by Richard A Waters

Commitment To Change

“Anyone can be an ACE: Attitude + Commitment = Excellence” - Robert Inman

You have now decided to start adopting some of the changes I have expressed at various times. I have to congratulate and commend you for taking that first step. But doing so is like anything that you have decided to embark upon. You must resolve to be committed to carrying through with your decision.

Your progress will never go forward if you don't stay focused and fully committed to the change. Like 'Twelve Step' programs or an athletes drive to finish a long distance marathon, both require commitment to the end result. Starting and stopping will never get you where it is you want to be. It will cause delays and frustration along with increasing self doubt.

So resolve to make a change and stick with it. There will be the ups, the downs and the seemingly lack of progress at times. But long-term commitment to a change will result in excellence within your life. Now all you need is the attitude....more next time.

Life In The Trenches

“Life is not a continuum of pleasant choices, but of inevitable problems that call for strength, determination, and hard work.”
- Indian Proverb

A couple of days off from writing due to a water line break at my home. It is interesting that life will some times interrupt your enjoyment. Of course I could bore you with the details but I will try to pass along something that you can learn from.

Late afternoon on Friday the inevitable 'wet' spot in the ground surfaced. One will try to deny the existence of it, hoping that the problem will go away. Many of us have the tendency to face life this way. Ignore it, close your eyes and just maybe it doesn't exist. No such luck this time, out came the shovel to start digging dirt and mud.

Part of me felt while digging that I was back on the farm. Cleaning out hog pens shoveling that which fills most hog pens. A wonderful way to spend an evening but the birght spot being that I found the water line right away. Found the leak, a mad dash to the hardware store and the leak was fixed...for fifteen minutes...another leak sprung.

Murphys Law of course dictated the moment, for where one leak appears there will always be one more. This water pipe was made of plastic and nearly twenty years old, best to replace the entire length down to the water meter. Only 75 feet from house to meter, between two trees and through hard Georgia clay.

The digging would begin the next day with two of my sons working hard on a three inch wide trench. The good news is we only need to dig down about one and a half feet, a small positive in the miserable heat and humidity. I was proud of how they worked and it is the first time I have ever seen someone bend a Pickaxe. But how were we ever going to get through this. The area of tree roots seemed almost unbearable.

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.” - Newt Gingrich

So why not call in a plumber or go rent a trenching machine? Well, I am my father's son and you can save money by putting in some hard work, the money saved is worth much more. It took a lot of thought and self encouragement to continue and complete the trench. A new water pipe, no worries of another leak due to an old pipe. Time with two of my sons watching their hard efforts and physically, it was good exercise for me.

The job finished and the yard landscaped, the feeling of accomplishment was good. The same can be said of anything you do in life. When faced with an obstacle that seems too great to overcome, keep pushing through. You will find it very rewarding on the other side.

“Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.”
- Horace (Ancient Roman Poet. 65 BC-8 BC)

CAN

Today I would like to pass along a link to an inspirational story of what one person would do for another. A story that tells of the true love a father has for a son.

Each of us know that we would go to great lengths for our children. Each of us have a huge place in our hearts for each of our children. And in this life, our human spirit is to lift those around us.

To show this particular father is not meant to over shadow what you may do in life. It is intended to provide us an example of the many things we can be. There are other great stories of people doing extraordinary things. Taking a step beyond the average is something that is in each of you. Go beyond the average, go beyond the ordinary and make a change in someones life.

Go to YouTube to see the CAN video. The pair call themselves Team Hoyt and you can read more about them on their website. It is a very inspiring video that can help move you to change as well.

Self Acceptance

Self Acceptance - embrace all that you are, who you are and what you are.

“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
- J. Donald Walters

All of this means that we value ourselves as we are, with all our weaknesses and strengths and regardless of them. Doing so will free yourself to live, to enjoy and grow in spite of the many different frustrations and crises that occur in life.

That being said, it does not mean we should not be setting goals for ourselves. We need to continue to aim for something better than what we are already experiencing. In an article by Steve Pavlina he makes a good point, "now you have to decide how much you want to push things to improve in quality as you progress through life. You can accept your current position as adequate and opt to simply maintain it, or you can strive to achieve something greater."

It is your decision on where you take your life. By accepting who and what you are will enable you to figure out where you want to take your life. Until you do so, it will be very difficult to figure out how to make change. It will also give you piece of mind to make those decisions. Believe in yourself, accept who you are and then position yourself for change.

Self Empowerment

Self Empowerment - have the desire to see others succeed because life isn't just about you.

"Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need." - Gillian Anderson

Self-empowerment is the process of taking responsibility for your attitudes, behaviors and actions will work to maximize your effectiveness in all that you do. When you do this, you understand that life isn't just about you.

The definition as expressed in 'YourDictionary.com' describes it as;

1. To invest with power, especially legal power or official authority.
2. To equip or supply with an ability; enable: "Computers ... empower students to become intellectual explorers" (Edward B. Fiske).

The interesting thing about this is the note they provide with the definition. "Although it is a contemporary buzzword, the word empower is not new, having arisen in the mid-17th century with the legalistic meaning "to invest with authority, authorize." Shortly thereafter it began to be used with an infinitive in a more general way meaning "to enable or permit."

How I use the term in this article is to express that by taking responsibility for your attitudes, behaviors and actions will give you a better perspective on how your life impacts those around you. By acknowledging this, you will go out of your way to see others succeed.

I am sure there will be those that disagree with my use of the term 'self-empowerment' as I've read varying opinions on what it means. Most agree that it means understanding that you have the ability or control over your own life. My belief is that in understanding you have authority over that which you do will place you in a position to help others.

Your life is in control and the success of others should not come as a threat to you. You will be able to take joy in the accomplishment of others, without jealousy and with respect for them.

Self Improvement

Self Improvement - there is always room to improve, always challenge yourself.

“Self-improvement is the name of the game, and your primary objective is to strengthen yourself, not to destroy an opponent.” - Maxwell Maltz

A person goes to college to learn a skill which will allow them to get a good job, be successful and make lots of money. This provides them with security and the ability to have a great life. It also gives them additional ability to help others. There is nothing in what I just said which says they gain in order to 'destroy' others.

Working on improving yourself isn't just about going to school, it is about improving yourself in three ways. There may be more but these three are ones I consider important.

One - improve your mind. Learn something new or different each day. Our brain is capable of so much and the more one learns, the more information we have to make better informed decisions. This is one reason older people are said to give sage advice. Now sage can mean a suffriticose labiate plant with grayish green foliage, much used in flavoring meats, etc.

But for our purpose it means, having nice discernment and powers of judging. Back to my point, the older we get, the more information we have to draw from when making decisions. Learn something new or different each day.

Two - improve your body. Walk around the block at least once a day or use the stairs. At my age I feel like I am simply trying to hang on to what I have. Staying healthy has advantages in both keeping your mind healthy, your body healthy and your bank account healthy. An example of this is provided by Fidelity Investments. I could show what doctors say, but let us look at where it effects us most, in our banking accounts.

An article by Fidelity says, "staying healthy is one of the simplest and most cost-effective ways to avoid unnecessary healthcare expenses. Getting the most for your healthcare dollars can be as simple as making a plan to eat right, maintaining an appropriate weight level, and exercising at least 30 minutes daily. By following a simple diet and exercise plan, you'll reduce your likelihood of developing certain diseases and illnesses, and you'll potentially avoid the cost of unnecessary medical visits." So walk around the block at least once a day or use the stairs.

Three - improve your spirit. Build a more positive view of yourself and life around you. A cardiologist, Meyer Friedman talked about your personality type and its effect on you. "The impatience, hostility and all-consuming drive for results that typify Type-A men and women, produces a one-dimensional personality, one with a profound and deadly absence of spiritual life. By "spiritual" he doesn't mean certain beliefs or religious tenets but a basic concern with human relations and other interests that enrich life. Without this spirituality, changing diet and exercise habits to lower cholesterol levels and improve health overall isn't enough to protect a Type A's heart."

Basically, with a renewed spirit you can face difficulty in life much better. It doesn't mean you won't have anguish or pain, just a better means of facing it. It means improving your attitude about things, about life and about others. Build a more positive view of yourself and life around you.

Self Significance

Self Significance - you do matter in this life, the contribution you make in life is real.

“To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.” - Joan Didion

In psychology, self-esteem or self-significance is a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. How you see yourself as being an important part of the world around you becomes an integral part of who you are. If you feel that you are insignificant or non-contributing, then opportunity in life will pass you by.

Yet knowing that you touch many people in large and small ways has to be understood. The store is abound that give examples. Think of the Christmas classic, Its A Wonderful Life and all of the lessons one can learn from it. Many people would scoff at the ideas presented in it, but I can't think of a more simple way of explaining to you that you do mean something to this life.

When we leave this life, there will be people that carry on bits and pieces of your legacy. Your life has part in shaping the lives of others and life in general. You may not have noteriety of a Mahatma Ghandi or Abraham Lincoln, but your life does matter, your life impacts.

So understand and believe in yourself, in your significance to life around you. Those close to you know of your significance as do those that you cross paths with in daily life.

Self Confidence

Self Confidence - believe in yourself, have confidence in your ability.

"Self confidence gives you the freedom to make mistakes and cope with failure without feeling that your world has come to an end or that you are a worthless person." - author unknown

The freedom from doubt and having a belief in yourself and your abilities to accomplish things in life. And also having the strength to continue believing in oneself when failure does occur. You may see it referred to as self esteem in some areas. But equating self confidence with freedom from doubt is not always a true statement. Confidence is needed when an outcome is uncertain, so true confidence could actually be one of feeling comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing what the outcome will be.

Having self confidence is often a result of a positive learning environment and positive self-talk. This positive learning environment is important in the development of self-confidence because people learn by watching. Being negative is bound to bring on negative self-talk, low self-confidence and a poor attitude. If you live and work around people that are always negative, you will not get positive reinforcement of your abilities. You will eventually come down to the level of others.

Yet if you place yourself among positive people, those that push on regardless of the outcome, you will gain confidence by example. To believe in your own ability and understand that there is so much you can do. Others can have confidence in you but until you have confidence in yourself, it will never matter. Work on this aspect of your life and possibility will become clear in your world.

Self Concept

Self Concept - knowing what your nature is, is important in knowing who you are.

“An individual's self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.” - Dr. Joyce Brothers

The definition of self concept is (from Wikipedia) the mental and conceptual awareness and persistent regard that sentient or conscious beings hold with regard to their own being. In other words, knowing who we are as an individual. It isn't what other people think we are, it is knowing yourself.

The Encyclopedia of Psychology describes it as '... the way in which one perceives oneself-can be divided into categories, such as personal self-concept (facts or one's own opinions about oneself, such as "I have brown eyes" or "I am attractive"); social self-concept (one's perceptions about how one is regarded by others: "people think I have a great sense of humor"); and self-ideals (what or how one would like to be: "I want to be a lawyer" or "I wish I were thinner").'

So daily we assess ourselves, we rate ourselves, we compare ourselves, always evaluating the various aspects of who we are. Is your view or evaluation of who you are accurate? I have read from various sources that you need to be accurate, positive and strong in knowing your nature. Doing so will assist you in being the most successful in relationships with other people.

A benefit of all this is the ability to control the various parts of your emotional world in such a way that provides consistency and balance to your life. So know who you are and be better prepared to engage in life.

Six Selfs

“It's self-dedication, self-motivation, maintenance of your feelings. It's having the ability to fall and fall and fall and get up and keep doing it, keep doing it. It's realizing you've made a mistake and going out there and fixing it.” - Amy Nyman

So just where does one start in picking oneself up. One way is to sit down and perform a self assessment of yourself. Examine six facets in your life - you will note that there was a six spoked wheel that contained six areas of your life. The following six facets of life are about self.

1. Self Concept - knowing what your nature is, is important in knowing who you are.
2. Self Confidence - believe in yourself, have confidence in your ability.
3. Self Significance - you do matter in this life, the contribution you make in life is real.
4. Self Improvement - there is always room to improve, always challenge yourself.
5. Self Empowerment - have the desire to see others succeed because life isn't just about you.
6. Self Acceptance - embrace all that you are, who you are and what you are.

Open Door Of Possibility

Opening the door to possibility. Step out of the darkness and into the light. Photographer of this picture is unknown.

Walking Through That Door

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can change his life by changing his attitude of mind." - William James

For many days he didn't return to building near the crossroads. There seemed to be no point in going for he felt his lot had been cast. He sat in darkened rooms thinking about where his life was. What it was he had done and also what he hadn't done up to this point. All the while there was a small voice inside of him that was trying to speak.

After days of self pity he began to place himself among others. Those that he called real friends and trusted with their honesty. His faith in many things was lost but he knew he had to find a way back from this deep valley. Slowly he sought help as he had reached a point where he knew it could not be done on his own. Faith and belief in a better life became a possibility, a dim light of expectation. This caused the voice inside to grow louder.

He learned all he could about what had happened in his life. A truthful look inside himself and the events that placed him at this moment in time. Even though others had a share in the situation, he knew that he had to take responsibility for his own attitude, his own life. Without grabbing hold of a new way of thinking, a new way of approaching life, he could not move to a better life.

The voice grew louder as he accepted a new attitude. As the days passed, he even returned to the building by the crossroads. Possibility was once again in his heart and mind. Then it happened as it does to everyone that chooses to change. For some it is a chance encounter, to others it is a friend making a suggestion. It comes in many different forms and not always as a bolt of lightening. Many times it is a subtle change of wind that causes us to take that next step.

As the voice inside was now his own, today he stepped through the open door. Out into a bright and vibrant sky with roads leading many different ways. Which one should he take but he knew the answer already. Any one of them would be fine for if that one didn't work out, there were always others. Always other answers, other possibilities and a life full of opportunity. For he had a new attitude, he was giving of himself and was part of a better life.

Change will occur sometimes with you and sometimes without you. It is how you deal with that change or how you make change that will determine the level of of life. Wallow in despair and that is where you will stay. Accept change and make movement in your life.

Take down your dreams and visions from the wall and place them into your pocket. Now step out in to the crossroads and choose a path. Know that whatever you do, failure or success is that change is always possible. This means that possibility is endless. Live your life exploring it and sharing it with others. Enjoy a better life.

Picture A Plate Spinning

From Van Buren Entertainment

I thought it would help those of you that may not have a picture in your mind of exactly what 'plate spinning' is.

Life Of Spinning Plates

“There are those of us who are always about to live. We are waiting until things change, until there is more time, until we are less tired, until we get a promotion, until we settle down / until, until, until. It always seems as if there is some major event that must occur in our lives before we begin living.” - George Sheehan

So it was on this particular day that he had spent time awaiting for the door to open. He always felt good by seeing the light of change shine through the opening. If only for a short time, he was recharged by being so close to possibility but never did he move towards the open door. Why did he not have the courage to change he asked himself.

A family, home and great job that he worked at feverishly. The all consuming job that he devoted so much time and energy to. The results of which provided for his family in ways that wouldn't have been possible had he not worked so hard. Everyday he would put in ten to twelve hours, staying ahead of work demands. Slowly earning more and being an integral part of the work place.

As he thought to himself about work, he kept trying to think exactly what it was his family was doing that week. I have to stay focused he said to himself in a hushed tone. Too much work to keep up with, have to stay ahead of the curve. Yet something kept nagging him, about his life, about his home and family. Where had all of the time gone?

As the open door of change closed and the dull flourescent light of the room returned, he started for the path. As he walked along the unpaved path, a few stones scattered to the sides an overwhelming feeling of loss began to overcome him. The work weighed heavily upon him but he headed for home. Home, so many unfinished projects greeted him when entering the front door.

The back deck sitting partially completed awaiting those finishing touches. An unrepaired ceiling joint and a broken window to replace were but a few of the items on what seemed a mounting list. Where were his children, his wife and the hum of excitement that he was home. None of them were there. Most days the only excitement they actually had was that he really did come home from work.

Where had all of the time gone? A list of unfinished projects and an even bigger list of failed attention to his family. But work, the work is important he thought. How else could he provide for his family and complete all that needed to be done. Like an old Ed Sullivan Show act of Spinning Plates. The performer had to keep running from one end to another keeping all of the plates spinning.

His life was like that, always running to keep the different areas of his life going. Long days at the office, rushing to get home for a school function or meeting with his wife and friends. Try to get some work done on a home project and do that volunteer stuff at the church. Running and never seeming to get ahead of the wobbling plates. It could be that his life wasn't all that bad but perception is in the eye of the beholder. Why couldn't people just understand how difficult his life was? Why couldn't people just be more helpful?

He was about to find out just how difficult life was going to become as he walked through his home. This was the beginning of change. Movement was happening and it was pulling him with it. The plates began to tumble to the floor with a resounding crash.

Take Advantage Of Opportunity

"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something." - Franklin Roosevelt

There were several people that took advantage of the open door (see Life At A Crossroads from Tuesday, March 21, 2006). A door to the unknown but a door to all the possibility that life has to offer. Some were young with no fears of failure and the unbridled passion to jump at opportunity when it presents itself. Others were older with years of holding back but with a renewed passion to make a change from the life that had held them back.

One such person was an older, middle aged man who had for years left his dreams upon the walls of the gathering room. That dreary place that he so often came, only to shy away from the brightness that shined through that open door. Turning to walk back down that beaten and worn path that so many of the people used.

Every day he would come to the building, pick up his dreams and wait patiently for the appointed time. That time when the door swings wide with expectation and wonderment. Yet he always allowed stubborn reason to deny him. He had been living life the same way for so many years. Why change now, what would be the point in disrupting the steady pace of life. Sure, there were good things in his life and moments of greatness. Yet his and the life of others around him seemed to never get to a new level.

He tried many things in life, some of which he was successful at. His career seemed to be moving forward with a promotion here, a change there. He tried different schemes to make more money to feed what seemed to be an insatiable appetite that life had around he and his family. Though he never seemed to understand his attitude towards life was more important in determining the quality of that life.

The building near the crossroads was brought to his attention a number of years earlier by a friend. The friend had talked of life changing possibility by simply walking through an open door. Much like others around him, the idea excited him and how easy it was. All he had to do was walk through an open door. He did not even have to unlock it, turn a handle or push it open. Someone was there to simply open it for him to walk on through.

So he had decided to go and see what it was all about. When he entered the room originally, it looked like any other room he had seen in life. Many people were excited and moved about the room in hushed voices. Many were talking to others and to themselves for that matter. The conversations spoke of what was on the other side, to what will happen with those left behind.

Eventually he heard people turn their talk to questioning if this was a good idea at all. Placing doubt on the goodness that lay beyond 'the door'. He had to wonder himself and when he saw the door open, the light that shown in was so clear, so vibrant. It took him aback and startled him. He began to wonder if that was such a good thing. His life wasn't so bad, why change now.

And then the door closed, the dull gray light took over the room once again. He was startled again to finally notice how dreary this room truly was. The open door had revealed the difference and he knew he would have to return the next day.

But every day he returned to see the light of possibility shine through that open door. And every day he hesitated to walk through the open door. He always had his reasons for not moving forward in his life. What would his friends say, what if he failed, what was really out there? He began to listen to others in the room. The ones that were never going to walk through that door. Their only purpose he supposed was to keep others from leaving through the door of opportunity.

Yet he believed they had good reasons. He allowed himself to accept what it was they said. From time to time his arguments defending the life he wanted almost got him through the door. But he always allowed the others to hold him back. So with them he would go back down the weary old path once the door had closed for the day.

And then one day something changed.....

Chart Your Life

The diagram is for you to print out and rate yourself on the six areas of your life. The wheel is patterned after one put out by Leadership Management, Inc. in 1991. It is a good way to start yourself on a path to a greater life.

It is simple enough to use as there are nine pegs on each spoke. The peg closest to the center or hub (YOU) is equal to one. The next one out equals two, so on and so forth with the last peg equaling nine. Place an 'x' on the peg at which you believe this part of your life is at. Do this for each spoke of the wheel.

This is not a contest but a way of comparing each spoke within your life. You will notice there is no number ten peg. Ten is commonly associated with being perfect and as a person that is growing and understands how life is, we know we'll never be perfect. We can be very good at things and strive for greatness - but it is balance among all of the spokes that is important.

When you have finished, look over each of the spokes and see which ones need work. The low marked ones are where you start. Just start is what you want to do to bring balance into life. As you balance out these areas of your life - and remember it is to have balance, not that all spokes have to be nines - things will work better. One part of your life can pick up for the other should you experience a down turn in another.

A great life is yours to have - balance out your life and experience it.

Staying Physically Fit

"Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” - Unknown Author

This last two spokes of a well-rounded wheel follow with the mental and physical aspects of our life. All spokes together create a wheel that allows us to achieve a greater life.

Mental and Emotional

The greeting is simple and most people pass on it without giving much thought to it. The act of someone asking, "how are you?" Do you stop and ask yourself that question? Do you really know how you are feeling or simply passing through time.

Every so often you need to sit back and examine your own mental and emotional state. Think about whether or not you've yelled at someone while driving. The stress level sometimes builds on us and our emotions can boil to the surface. Relieving the stress will help you to control your emotions. Don't let your emotions rule your life.

Find ways to ease back and relax from time to time. Then think about where your mind is at. If your emotions and mental state are tipping in a bad way, then the other parts of your life are effected. You don't perform nearly as well and life just seems to 'get in the way'. Work on this part of your life and if need be, get help. There is nothing wrong with seeking assistance to work out this area of 'you'.

Physical and Health

The last time you walked up a flight of stairs, were you breathing heavily? Can you do some of the same things you did a year ago when it comes to physical movement? Your ability to maintain health is directly related to how much physical activity you maintain. This year, my wife and I are participating in the Peachtree Roadrace. A 10K Run that of course we will walk along with most of the other 55,000 other runners/walkers.

Staying physically fit will help you keep your health longer in life. You will feel better and more able to function at a higher peak. All of us can use a bit more exercise and many find it difficult to find the time. It is certainly easier to sleep in or simply collapse on the couch after a long day at work.

If we work only partly as hard on our physical health as we do our job, the benefits would be tremendous. A quick walk around the block before or after work. Eating an apple for a snack instead of that candy bar. One less beer and maybe more water to drink is doable. Starting small will gradually build you up.

To do the things you want to do in life, being physically able to matters an awful lot. We as humans tend to think we are invincible but time and age do catch up with us. So if you are not happy with your current level of physical health, start doing something. Maybe you already work out, are you ready to take your health and fitness to the next level? There will be sacrifice of some sort to achieve fitness goals. Start with achievable goals, ones that are just out of reach. Then start today even if you haven't worked it all out yet. You'll feel better for it.

On Wednesday I'll provide a diagram of the six spokes that you can print out. Each spoke will contain a scale that you can rate yourself on. Then take it upon yourself to work on these areas of your life. Get the wheel in motion to a greater life for you and those around you.

Your Values and Family Life

Continuing with my series on the six spokes to a great life, spokes three and four. "Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life." - Buddha

Spiritual and Moral

In your life, have you determined what your personal values are in life? I mean really sat down one day and thought about what it is you believe or don't believe in. Things relating to money, job, sex, politics and religion are areas filled with vast ranges of spiritual and moral possibility. Where do you stand on these?

As it was spoken to me, "are you living up to those personal values?" If you take your place in values relating to religion and God is important to you, do your values reflect your beliefs? The same can be asked of your job. Does the way you conduct yourself at work conflict or fall in line with your religious thoughts.

This area of life can be complicated and so many aspects are woven together. But if you work to establish simple values and then apply them to other areas of your life, it can work out. I'm not talking about 'imposing' your beliefs on others. I'm talking about having beliefs or values and striving to live by them. It isn't easy and at the same time you need to have an open ear to others. Have spiritual life that helps you establish your morals. It will strengthen this part of your life.

Family and Home

Recently I had the opportunity to see a movie called CLICK that tells the story of a man whose life is wrapped up in his job. His belief being that if he pours more energy into his job, it will provide more opportunity for his family. Sadly, he gets all that he wants for his family yet loses much of what he had 'with' his family.

Many of us will tend to work very hard in our jobs. Work harder, make more money, your family can have more. I for one was very much like this and some hard lessons were learned. Your family needs more then your success and added income. They need your time and your presence.

Do you spend enough time with your spouse, watching your kids grow, talking about life to them and about them? Your kids will watch and learn from what you do. They will either grow away from you or become like you. It is a difficult balance to maintain when the pressures of your job or business demand so much of you. But try not to short change this part of your life. To wake up one day and wish things had been different is difficult to deal with.

Make a change now and spend extra time talking to your spouse, to your kids and just being there. As the movie indicated, don't be on 'auto-pilot'. Engage yourself in this wonderful part of life called family.

Life Spokes One & Two

“When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life.”
- Abert F. Geoffrey

The first two spokes of ones life have to do with your money and your life withing society. Each are described here. As noted in my previous article, ther are six spokes the complete the wheel of your life. All must be in working order for your life to move forward and achieve greatness.

Financial and Career

So just how much do you enjoy your job. Myself, I love getting up and going to work each day. The people I work with and the type of work I do is great. Everyday I feel like I am contributing something to the company and I get paid a decent wage.

In your life, can you say the same thing? If not, then change needs to happen and it is up to you to do so. What you do for a living, how much you enjoy it and the money you earn performing your job function are all related. One effects the other - if you are not happy, you likely are not performing well which means you don't earn as much.

If you are earning, are you giving back part of your money to society. Maybe to your church, to a charitable organization close to you or maybe directly to others in need. By giving of your money, you will feel better about yourself. It also creates in different ways a return of goodness to you as well. But you say you don't have much money, then start small. Maybe five dollars or ten.

So create your own destiny within your finances and career. Don't spend more then you make as debt is a serious problem. Adjust your budget and spending habits to the level of your earnings. Doing so means you will have less financial stress, feel better and perform better at work. Your performance goes up and most likely your earning.

Social and Cultural

Do you have friends in your life? A recent CBS NEWS Health Watch story indicates that "...most people's circle of confidants is on average about one person smaller now. The percentage of people who say they have no one to confide in has reached about 25%." All of us need those one or two close confidants. People that the article refers to as a "discussion network" — people you reach out to for help, advice, or just as a sounding board. In the new research, they say the network is important because it shapes "the kinds of people we become."

How do you develop these friendships? By having a life outside of work that allows you to draw back and recharge. It also rounds you out better as a person, to be in tune with what is happening in the world around you. You can better effect the world around you when you understand it and engage in it.

Be a part of the world around you - make changes to strengthen these areas of your life.

Picture A Conversation

Conversation with the Inner Self by Sheba Sharrow

Your Inner Self

“You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.” - Richard Bach (author of 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull)

All of us have this inner self that we listen to and argue with. Yes, you can have an argument with yourself. It is your inner attempt to reconcile or deal with information. One may think that we are of a single mind so therefore no conflict should exist. Yet it does and some may call this self actualization. This is the process of understanding oneself more completely and being aware of issues affecting one's life.

From The Conscious and Unconscious Mind by Kendra Van Wagner, according to Sigmund Freud, the mind can be divided into two main parts:

1. The conscious mind includes everything that we are aware of. This is the aspect of our mental processing that we can think and talk about rationally. A part of this includes our memory, which is not always part of consciousness but can be retrieved easily at any time and brought into our awareness. Freud called this ordinary memory the preconscious.

2. The unconscious mind is a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that outside of our conscious awareness. Most of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. According to Freud, the unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences.

Two parts of us at conflict with each other. It is this inner-self that you must attempt to deal with in order to better handle what life sets before you. I'm not certain any of us fully reach a point in which we completely understand our inner self. But we all need to reconcile ourselves to that inner voice. Once you have done this, it releases you to move forward in life to go after your dreams.

"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision." - Joseph Primm

Open Heart for a Great Life

The idea of trying to make a change based upon things one does not understand can be difficult. Stepping into the unknown without a full clue as to the outcome is a daunting transition. Yet making change is never done in a completely blind manner. All of us do a certain amount of research and soul searching on anything we do.

Some will talk to others for advice, some dive into books, while others pour over internet web pages to seek information. This is done in an attempt to fill our physical mind with an understanding of the situation. Attention is then turned to what some call that 'gut feeling'. This is an attempt to satisfy the heart. It is also referred to as turning to the spirit that lives within us. Whatever it is you call it, your heart drives this part of the decision making process.

The sad part is that there are many people who do not make change because they allow the mind to dominate the process. They do not allow their heart to have an equal chance. Why do we do this to ourselves?

It is because what you can not understand or control, you reject it. If you can not grasp it, human nature (the natural part of us) wants to understand it completely. If this part of us can not do so, we discard and turn from it. This is where the heart comes into use.

There are going to be things in this life beyond your control. Certainly humans are constantly in search of the 'answers' to everything presented before us. Everything must be rationalized and categorized and completely analyzed. This is a good and natural thing for us to do. But at certain points in our individual lives, there will be things beyond your control or understanding. At this point you turn to your heart and simply have to accept it on faith.

Your heart will tell you if it is right for you or not. It is not meant to say that because your heart accepts it on faith that others are wrong. It does not mean that you are wrong for accepting it because others didn't. It only means that you are right in your own heart in combination with the natural process as it relates to you.

Change takes us to the unknown sometimes. To a place that the natural thought process can not fully provide answers to. Let your heart help you accept change on faith that making a move to better your life is the correct decision.

"Human nature is designed to limit ourselves to all of the possibilities life has for us", as related to me by Dean Sweetman. What he wants, what I want, what all of us want is to allow our hearts to open us up to those possibilities for a greater life. Each person deserves a great life and most importantly, you deserve that great life.

Focus Your Attitude

A long week of car troubles repeatedly and minor issues occurring. Certainly a good test of ones ability to stay positive. There are weeks like this and I for one am not immune from them. It is these things that put my belief in the power of being positive, of having a great attitude to test.

It can be frustrating when these things occur and there are multiple things that come into play. How do you deal with it then? A couple basic things to know;

1. Accept it since life happens, release it so you can move on.
2. Accept it with a cheerful heart since anything else will keep you from moving on.
3. Accept it for yourself, do not place it upon others; seek advice, but do not unload your problems upon others.
4. Accept it as a problem, but see the answer.

The last item comes from Fergus McIntyre in which he speaks about life giving you so much more. So many people see and focus on their problems. Dwelling day in and day out on the pain or issue that confronts them. It is an okay thing to recognize and understand the problem. But it is when we focus only on the problem that we get left behind in finding the answer.

In my particular case, I took time to recognize and be irritated by the issues occurring. Then I turned my focus to solutions, to working on a plan to sort out what was happening. In essence, I turned my focus to the anwers. Looking ahead two and three steps on what can be done to redirect the course of events.

This isn't instantaneous change in most cases, but directing your focus to the end results, by 'seeing' the answer, will remove you from stagnation. It will move you past the problem and towards resolution. By staying within the problem, you are bound and restricted by the weight of the issue. Your attitude will become mired in the despair and you won't be able to think clearly.

By refocusing on the answers, you take control of the situation and free yourself to move forward. You free yourself to release the problem and concentrate on finding solutions and then acting upon those solutions. Your mind and heart will feel a lifting sensation of the burden. Your attitude will improve which will make you more approachable. You will see others more willing to come to your assistance. Things will get better.

“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” - Denis Waitley

Sincere Attitude

To continue with my thoughts from yesterday, life will always present you with struggles. You will have struggles in your sincerity to live a positive and serving life. Each of us has to contend with maintaining that uplifting attitude. Some may consider this to be hypocritical.

But know that it does not make you hypocritical when trying to be positive through pain or down times. You are not hypocritical when you realize the struggles and are earnestly trying to correct them. When you do so, you remain justified in your sincerity.

It is when you begin to deny the existence of the struggle that hypocrisy rises. To do so is an attempt to fool yourself that all is good all of the time. You can not fool yourself and if you understand that, then it is apparent you are not fooling anyone else.

Know and accept that struggle will occur in your life, learn to recognize it early and take steps to overcome it quickly. Doing so will strengthen your ability to impact not only your own life, but to impact others around you. Your sincerity will be stronger in the eyes of others which will create more impact on their lives.

“We grow because we struggle, we learn and overcome.” - Robert C. Allen

Moving Past Old Pain

There are many people in life that struggle to grasp and hold on to a positive attitude. Most of the time it is due to the inability to let go of past issues in their life. Letting go of old hurts and wounds to ones heart can be a difficult thing to do. What happens is that your mind will tend to try and rationalize the hurt and take a firm hold of it.

This results in a constant rehashing of the pain which in turn will limit you. This stands between you and achieving greater things in life. Just know and accept that there will always be something to get between you and your experiences in life. Knowing this is the first step in being prepared to deal and move on past those issues.

People will test your sincerity to step past a wrong doing and to see if you can also accept them along with their own issues. Are you prepared to deal with your own issues so that you can adequately deal with other people in your life.

A favorite speaker of mine, Fergus McIntrye is quoted as saying, "to move on greatness in life, you must first break down the walls that surround your heart." Fight through your adversity and continue to see and search for the goodness life has to offer you. Let go of past pains and know that life will open so much more. Release yourself from the past and live life in a new a bold way.

Happy Fathers Day

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.” - Charles Wadsworth

I learned years ago the knowledge of what my father had been telling me during my formative years. In fact I still learn from him today in bits and pieces about growing older. My own sons show signs of understanding what I have tried to impress upon them. But each of the four have their own personality and talents of which I am so very proud of.

In my middle years I remarried and have four wonderful step daughters as well. Each of them has a greatness and beauty that is a wonder to behold. Having never thought that my life would be touched by daughters, it adds so much to the experience of life.

As a father on this day, it isn't any thing special that I feel I do but try to do the best I can. My best feeling is that I have a father that taught me well and am proud to be his son. And on the other side, I will continue to teach and inspire our sons and daughters. Life will be their greatest teacher but if a bit of tutoring helps, so be it.

So "Happy Fathers Day" Dad, thank you for all you've done for me through out the years. You are my stabilizing force in life and have prepared me for beyond when you do leave. To my children, I will try to be around for many years to come, offering what I can like my own father did.

Consistency & Your Dreams

Consistency should be the trademark of that which you do in life. I strive to be consistent with my 'daily' blog and many of you will find that I have not been of late. With your support, I want to devote more time to my writing. Lately I've been on the road and also had a wedding anniversary trip.

I have also started work on a related website to provide a few products to help inspire and impact you and those around you. I'm hopeful to be another helpful voice not only in written word of the internet, but also on your coffee cup, on your wall and in other means to help you on your path to greatness. I'll let you know more later.

Until then, believe in a dream, envision the possibility - nothing can destroy the dream but your own lack of faith in it. Have faith in your dreams and allow them to become real by becoming specific in your plans.

The Attitude Process Of Life

“Enjoy the process. In the middle of this is where everything happens.” ~ Dean Sweetman

For life to be enjoyable, your attitude towards that which happens in and around it determines your impact on it. The idea that we want to simply 'get through' life will make it boring and dull. But to try and impact those around you will make it so much more worth while.

In doing so, there will be a process you become a part of. It may be in your job, church, home life or most anything that you engage in. The thing to remember is that you should enjoy that process you are a part of. All of what you do is in that process of life happening around you.

The good, the bad and the boring will happen. To experience each event should be embraced. Once you learn to enjoy it, you can have a large influence on others in your world. Help them to enjoy life or 'the process'. Movement causes change and change creates an impact. Make a positive impact on your life and others.

Life Checking Your Attitude

A busy week on the road so it has been difficult to get any writing done. As I am back home now, a small story to illustrate how your attitude is always being tested.

With air travel these days, fewer planes mean fuller flights, longer lines and sometimes stress in the whole process. So much more could be done by the airlines but I won't go into it at this point. My only thought would be that I'm surprised a major bus company has not yet bought out any of the major airlines.

When boarding for my recent trip, the whole process was not handled very well. It had been a long wait and many in the crowd were getting impatient. I had been in line to board but although my boarding pass was valid, the 'ticket machine' could not read the bar code. I was directed back to the boarding gate desk for another ticket.

Back in line once again and awaiting my turn, my thoughts were that I was handling myself pretty well. I'm staying calm, smiling and understanding to the situation. The gate attendants were attempting to get a second machine working and would direct the 'next' person in line to that machine. Remain calm I said, this will soon be over and you will be in your seat on the plane.

All at once a female passenger could no longer wait and cut in front of me to the next machine. I politely interrupted her but I'm sure the tone of my voice indicated otherwise. We exchanged insincere 'no, you go first' apologies but you know what the underlying meaning of that is. Those types of exchanges are, "hey, you cut in front of me and it was really rude." Followed by the reply, "get lost, I just might be more important than you!" So you get the picture!

Being the gentleman, I do insist that she go first but only through gritting teeth. We make our way onto the plane, I'm sure my seething is noticeable. Down the second aisle of the plane, further back we go. Can it be, please say no, why is this happening? We are sitting next to each other! Who says God has no sense of humor.

We sat in a bit of silence for a short while. But knowing that we have an eight hour flight ahead of us, best to salvage the day. Our talk is at first polite and short but eventually both of us apologize for the small scene. I think to both of our embarassment, the stress of boarding had gotten the best of us. A good laugh then ensued as we talked a bit about attitudes.

In life, situations will occur where your attitude will be tested. It may be on the road as someone cuts you off, you yell something and then the light turns red as you pull up along side them. It may be getting disgruntled at the guy who took that parking space, only to find he is a customer at your business meeting. Or it could be a stressful exchange while waiting to board a plane, only to find out the two of you will be sitting next to each other - for eight hours.

Find ways to check on your own attitude. For if you do not, life will certainly find a way to do it for you.

Change Your Attitude, Cause Change In Your Life

My apologies to those that are regular readers of my blog. I have been on vacation this week along with the graduation of a son, so it has been a busy week. In this time, I have had chance to hear many great and inspirational words from various speakers. Graduation time tends to bring out the inspiring ability of many people.

My son and his graduating class chose a quote by author Barbara Hall that reads, "the path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matter is that we embark." Stop a moment and think about what is being said. Something that I repeat from time to time in my own articles. You will never get to your destination if you do not start.

You can spend nearly your entire life life trying to decide which road to follow. Should I go left should I get that degree, maybe start a business or maybe buy another map. Get up and go...for as I've said many times, "movement causes change." There is nothing keeping you from doing so but your own self limiting thoughts. The world is great and large with loads of opportunity for both failure and success. But you will never find either by sitting still, studying a map, plotting forever the course you want to take.

My sons and daughters are moving and seeing change occur. They as many other young people do will flounder and succeed, disappoint and inspire while finding that which is the course of their lives. They must never forget that in life, you can always change again should they find the road not what they expected, make a move to change.

As we of the older generation should also know is that we too can change. There are many different roads available to us. But the first step is movement, movement towards something and you will see change occur in your life.

Congratulations to all of the newly graduating high school seniors around the world. The same can be said for all of the newly graduated college folks. And finally, congratulations to all of you who have taken those steps in which "movement causes change."

Attitude On The Airwaves

As a rule I tend not to listen to radio or TV talk shows of those such as Rush Limbaugh, Ed Schultz or Bill O'Reilly. Around the dial you will find conservative, liberal and a few middle of the road types. Many have shows that bring out opinions of varying intensity which really can be informative for people to consider. Nor would I want to deny people to have or listen to the opinions of their talented hosts.

What I do find on all of them is a certain 'mean' attitude towards others at varying times. I would not call these shows cruel always but I do find that it happens with a certain regularity. In life as you debate or make a point, one can get very passionate about their belief. On these talk shows though, it is about ratings and ultimately the money. I would dare to say that none of the hosts does it strictly for the ability to change public opinion.

The media companies that carry their shows are not in it strictly for public service. It comes back to the ratings and money. So I certainly understand how our public discourse through these shows can become very bi-polar. You see I firmly believe that a vast majority of people live closer to the middle.

So to get beyond a political discussion, which is not my intent to discuss but to talk of how points are made. Many times in the talk, those that are simply trying to get through life the best way they know how are the recipient of a sometimes cruel oratory. Sometimes it is for the ratings and sometimes for driving home a point. Do you find yourself doing the same?

Life is complicated and all of us do the best we can. When you take out your rage on others or use them in a mean fashion, what does that make you? I'm not asking, 'gee, if life were all flowers and candy." What I am saying is that you do not have to take out your rage on others or even belittle others to make your point.

When you find yourself in such a situation, politely and quietly excuse yourself from it. Turn off the radio or change the channel. There will be plenty others left to listen to the noise. Your life is too important to you and moving on is better. Allow yourself not to be stressed out by that level of discussion on a daily basis. Find new ways to engage in the conversation for talking and more importantly listening is how we grow. Adapt to a new way of life, calm the noise and distractions for a better you.

Da Vinci Code Attitude

This weekend I went to the movies to see 'The DaVinci Code" and see what the fuss was all about. For all of the concerns by people over what the movie says and attempts to depict, it was a bit under whelming in controversy.

I'm certainly not a movie critic but as a regular person, I do watch movies and in turn spend money on those movies. This article isn't intended to persuade or dissuade you from seeing the movie or to debate the material aspects of the story line. What I would like to use it for is a bit of object lesson in attitude.

From the time of the original release of the book on through the filming of this movie, many people have risen either in arms or taken up the cause of it. As the movie was released, the debate intensified and now the judging public will decide. My own thought is that as a thrilling mystery story it was good. It became difficult at times to follow though and seemed to be quite long. Meaning it took to long to get to the point.

What I do like about the movie is that it challenges our beliefs and stirs debate. Whether you believe that the information is factual or not, it is just a movie - not a documentary. So how do you react to something that challenges your beliefs and attitudes? Are you a defiant radical? Do you become depressed at the thought of it? Or are you willing to objectively view and discuss the situation?

Attitude does not mean being inflexible nor does it mean giving up your core beliefs. Attitude does mean that you are willing and able to handle having those core beliefs challenged. I have my own thoughts regarding the movie and its contents including the book. Faith is what it is and you need to be strong enough to listen and not be threatened by different beliefs.

What is good is that there is debate and to have people challenged. By doing so, your attitudes are challenged and with all things in life that challenge you, having a positive outlook or attitude about those challenges will get you through it.

“I do believe that when we face challenges in life that are far beyond our own power, it's an opportunity to build on our faith, inner strength, and courage. I've learned that how we face challenges plays a big role in the outcome of them.” - Sasha Azevedo

Charting Your Attitude

Billy Graham once said, "we do not understand the intricate pattern of the stars in their courses, but we know that He who created them does and that just as surely as He guides them, He is charting a safe course for us." The quote is one mans vision of how we can face an uncertain future. It is a tough thing to go through when it is yourself facing bad times.

Those low spots in your life can always be countered by thinking of those high spots in life. The next thing you can do is one small positive thing. Smile at someone you pass on the street, open a door for another or maybe help out another individual in some small way. The things you do in a positive way will build upon itself. And keeping your attitude strong in spite of down times is of utmost importance.

As you work your way through this, listen to others and know that many are their to help you through these times. Surround yourself with these people not to pour your problems on but to help build yourself up. Many of us have been through the valley and know of your pain. A safe course is being charted for you, read the signs and follow it to a better life.

Prejudging Others

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others.” William J. H. Boetcker

In life we have a tendency to prejudge others prior to ever knowing or understanding them. It is sometimes our way of quickly assessing a situation or condition we encounter. Doing this can have a very negative effect not only on the other person but as a reflection of you. Prejudging others says you are not capable of being able to adapt or accept differences you may have with another person.

Certainly it is human nature to be guarded when we meet someone new. You will have to figure out who this other person is, what their story is and in turn they are doing the same. It is this process of learning about the other that creates great relationships. You may find each other to be at opposite ends of the spectrum, yet allowing yourself to learn about them you are learning about yourself.

To go through life placing others in pre-defined categories without understanding them leaves you uninformed and less capable of growing as a person. You will be surprised by how much you learn and how much you pass on to others. Prejudging cuts off the discussion before it even starts. Allow yourself to meet new people and find out about their place in life. It will strengthen your understanding of life.