Randy Pausch and Living

"Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people." -Randy Pausch

Someone that you may have known and if not, should have known about died this past Thursday night (July 24). Randy Pausch was a Carnegie-Mellon professor who happened to get pancreatic cancer. He is best known for his gift to everyone in the form of a lecture called, "The Last Lecture."



A very inciteful and wonderful example or 'roadmap' on how to live ones life. I feel close to the stroy only because my own mother is battling Pancreatic Cancer.

So in rememberance and thankfulness to him sharing with all of us, I give you thoughts from his lecture (by way of The Social Capital Blog".

- "When there’s an elephant in the room introduce him."

- "If there’s anything I want to do so badly, I should have already done it."

- "We can’t change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. If I’m not as depressed as you think I should be, I’m sorry to disappoint you."

- "Tell The Truth. All The Time. No one is pure evil."

- "Be willing to apologize. Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I’m sorry that I hurt you. 3) How do I make it better? It’s the third part that people tend to forget…. Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself."

- "Show gratitude. Gratitude is a simple but powerful thing."

- "Find the best in everybody…. Wait long enough, and people will surprise and impress you. It might even take years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting."

- "If you want to achieve your dreams, you better learn to work and play well with others…[you have] to live with integrity."

- "Never find anger a way to make things better."

- "How do you get people to help you? You can’t get there alone. People have to help you and I do believe in karma. I believe in paybacks. You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I’ll take an earnest person over a hip person any day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term."

- "Loyalty is a two-way street."

- "Get a feedback loop and listen to it. Your feedback loop can be this dorky spreadsheet thing I did, or it can just be one great man who tells you what you need to hear. The hard part is the listening to it."

- "When you are doing something badly and no one’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones still telling you they love you and care."

- "Don’t bail: the best gold is at the bottom of barrels of crap."

- "Don’t complain, Just work harder. [showing picture on screen] That’s a picture of Jackie Robinson. It was in his contract not to complain, even when the fans spit on him. You can spend it complaining or playing the game hard. The latter is likely to be more effective."

- "Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted…. I probably got more from that dream [of playing professional football] and not accomplishing it than I got from any of the ones that I did accomplish."

- "Decide if you’re a Tigger or an Eyeore. I’m a Tigger."

- "It is not about achieving your dreams but living your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you."

- "Never underestimate the importance of having fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day, because there’s no other way to play it….Having fun for me is like a fish talking about the importance of water. I don’t know how it is like not to have fun…"

- "You can tell the pioneers by the arrows in their backs. But at the end of the day, a whole lot of people will have a whole lot of fun."

- "Better to fail spectacularly than do something mediocre." [Randy Pausch gave out a First Penguin award each year when he was teaching to the biggest failure in trying something big and new because he thought this should be celebrated. First Penguins are the ones that risk that the water might be too cold.]

- "About his pancreatic cancer: It’s unlucky, but it not unfair. We all stand on a dartboard and some of us randomly get hit by pancreatic cancer. But my children won’t have me for them and that’s not fair."

- "Someone’s going to push my family off a cliff pretty soon and I won’t be there to catch them and that breaks my heart. But I have some time to sew some nets to cushion the fall so that seems like the best and highest use of my time and I better get to work."

- "I’m sorry I won’t be around to raise my kids. It makes me very sad but I can’t change that fact, so I did everything I could with the time I have and the time I had to help other people."

- The importance of people instead of things. Such as the story he told of buying a new convertible that he was so proud of and taking his niece and nephew for a ride. Randy’s sister, the kid’s mother was telling them how important it was to keep the car pristine and the kids were laughing because at the same time he was pouring a can of orange soda on the back seats. His sister asked what are you doing and he said “it’s just a thing.” And nephew Chris wound up being really grateful because he had the flu and wound up throwing up on way home. “And I don’t care how much joy you get out of owning a shiny new thing; it’s not as good I felt from making sure that an 8 year old didn’t have to feel guilty for having the flu.”

- "It is important to have specific childhood dreams." (For example, Randy wanted to play football in the NFL, write an article for the World Book Encyclopedia, experience the Weightlessness of Zero Gravity, be Captain Kirk from Star Trek, work for the Disney Company.)
- "Be good at something; it makes you valuable…. Have something to bring to the table, because that will make you more welcome."

- "I’ve never understood pity and self-pity as an emotion. We have a finite amount of time. Whether short or long, it doesn’t matter. Life is to be lived."

- "To be cliché, death is a part of life and it’s going to happen to all of us. I have the blessing of getting a little bit of advance notice and I am able to optimize my use of time down the home stretch."

Thank you Randy and peace be upon your family.

End Of The Universe

Problems in getting my blog written the past few days. We'll start up again next Monday and see how things go. Until then, "chin up, the end of the universe is not really in sight!"

Helping Others Cheerfully

"When there are opportunities to help others, do so with a cheerful heart. In doing so, goodness will fill your heart and mind and others will see it within you." -Joe Primm

The words and advice flow easily but can be difficult to employ. Each of us are faced with these opportunities and I am no exception. We struggle with trying to understand what is the right thing to do.

The idea of helping others has been around since the beginning of time. Humans have always looked for and found ways to help each other. Former U.S. President John F. Kennedy said "if a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." But I'm not talking about welfare and government assistance. I am referring to what you as an individual can do. It isn't even just about money or the poor, its about all types of assistance to others under all conditions.

The government, the church and other well meaning organizations are out there to help people. Most of them do very good work, but the individual helping another is the most personal. I am no different in that I wonder just how far individual kindness can be taken. Some times though you have to simply go forward with the opportunity to assist someone in need.

People encounter at times in their life a loss of direction and ability. Their need is something to help them past the darkness of the situation. Albert Schweitzer is quoted saying that, "in every one's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

So search inside yourself, figure out what the right thing to do is for the situation and do so with a cheerful heart. Consider what your need might be one day and know their are others with cheerful hearts.

Build On Life

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.” -Unknown

There is an owners manual which comes with most every new item you purchase. The car manual which reminds you how to turn the ignition on and exactly what most of the buttons do. Or maybe its that new vacuum describing how to empty the bag or to replace the belt.

Yet there isn't one that comes with life. There is no manual to pick up and find out when something goes wrong; no owners directions telling you how do you fix it. It is just you learning and moving through life. Information abounds in books and magazines, all giving you pieces of advice to help. There are experts out there that can give you guidance and direction.

But it is you that must build your life. You are the one building an 'ark' which will carry you through times of trouble. Do not be afraid to begin that building process, you will get it built and it will be your achievement.

Blessing From The Ancients

“May God grant you always...A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.” -Irish Blessings

Celtic / Gaelic Triscele

The triscele has been used since ancient times in Celtic culture to symbolize the cycle of life. If we can learn from our ancient histories, then our future is guided by what once was.

Going The Extra Step

Each of us goes about our day performing our daily duties, whether they be at home, work or play. It is the ability to do more then expected which can turn the ordinary into something much grander.

Take the story of a young post World War II pilot going about his duties in Europe. It was a time when Germany was split into east and west. Berlin was even split in half although it was surrounded by much of communist controlled East Germany. It was a time of mutual distrust politically and tensions could run very high.

This pilot, Col. Gail Halvorsen performed a daily job of delivering goods to West Berlin over the blockade imposed by East German officials. Yet the one thing he saw were the children. Thus was the start that would eventually become 'Operation Little Vittles.' As they flew their planes to deliver needed goods, the crews would drop with hand made parachutes, candy and sweets for the children.

Col. Halvorsen would 'wiggle the wings' of his plane and earned the nickname, "Uncle Wiggly Wings". What began as a small gesture of kindness, going beyond his normal duties, he saw a need and addressed it. One person with a single idea blossomed into what turned out to be 227,000 'candy bombings' over West Berlin.

Years later, Col. Halvorsen was met by a 60-year old man that so many years ago on a rainy day grabbed a tiny parachute which had fallen from the sky outside his school. Attached to it was a Hershey chocolate bar, never eating it and treasuring it for many years. He told Col. Halvorsen "it wasn't the candy that was important. It was that somebody cared."

Take a step further during your ordinary day and do something above and beyond the normal. You may see it blossom into something so much bigger. It will create something bigger in your life and in the lives of others.

Connection To Others

When it comes to connecting with people, communicating in various methods is a must. My book, "Attitude In Words" is available at many locations such as;

Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/
Barnes and Noble - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/
Books Unlimited - http://www.booksunlimited.ie/
Lulu - http://www.lulu.com/)
Eruditor - http://www.eruditor.com/
Libreria Universitaria - http://www.libreriauniversitaria.it/
Target - http://www.target.com/
Blackwell - bookshop.blackwell.com

There are so many other places it is available as well. A shameless plug I realize, but it is only one method of impacting those near and far. There are so many ways we can communicate with each other including the internet. Our church has a great website that allows people to connect with each other. I like to think of it as "MySpace on steroids". This form of communication allows us to reach others across all geographical boundaries and to form closer connections.

I am constantly amazed at how the words of a person can spread so quickly and to such a wide audience of people through these forms of communication. My own blog touches people all over the world and it creates connections to so many.

History has seen so many advances in these various forms of communication. The spoken word, the written word, the recorded word and the various types of medium through which the word is communicated. Think of the advances in communication shown below. The list is only a small record of how humans have advanced our ability to communicate with each other.

3500 BC to 2900 BC - Phoenicians develop an alphabet.
1775 BC - Greeks use phonetic alphabet.
1400 BC - Oldest record of writing in China on bones.
1270 BC - The first encyclopedia is written in Syria.
900 BC - 1st postal service for government use in China.
776 BC - 1st use of homing pigeons to send messages.

500 BC to 170 BC
Papyrus rolls and early parchments made of dried reeds.
They are the first portable and light writing surfaces.

200 BC to 100 BC - Human messengers on foot or horseback.
100 - 1st bound books
305 - 1st wooden printing presses invented in China.
1455 - Printing press with metal movable type invented.
1714 - 1st patent for a typewriter.
1793 - 1st long-distance semaphore telegraph line.
1831 - Joseph Henry invents the first electric telegraph.
1835 - Samuel Morse invents Morse code.
1843 - 1st long distance electric telegraph line.
1861 - U.S.A. starts the Pony Express for mail delivery.
1876 - Alexander Bell patents the electric telephone.
1877 - Thomas Edison patents the phonograph.
1902 - 1st radio signal transmitted across Atlantic Ocean.
1914 - First cross continental telephone call made.
1925 - 1st experimental television signal transmitted.
1930 - Radio popularity spreads, the "Golden Age" of radio.
1939 - Scheduled television broadcasts begin.
1944 - Government owned computers put into public service.

** The age of Information Science begins **

1958 - Photocopier or Xerox machine is invented.
1969 - ARPANET, the first Internet started.
1979 - 1st cell phone network started in Japan.
1981 - 1st laptop computers sold to public.
1983 - 1st cell phone network started in the United States.
1994 - American government releases control of internet

** WWW born, allowing for communication at light speed **

Today, we sit and wonder how we ever got along without all the devices to communicate with each other. All of it is great, it improves our ability to connect with others. We can learn about each other, find out about each other and perform all of this nearly instantaneously. Prior to the popular use of cellular phones, the one question people never asked on the phone was, "where are you?"

The point being, when you called someone on the phone, the phone was tied to a specific location. Today with cell phones you could be almost anywhere in the world.

In the end, when it comes to 'connecting' with people, the best method is 'face-to-face'. To sit down across a table from someone and share a cup of coffee or a meal remains the greatest form of human communication.

By all means, use the various methods of communication to spread your words and ideas; use the various methods to stay in touch with other people. Yet do not forget to take the bold step in communication; communicate one on one with people and find out how much more you can learn.

Peachy Attitude

Today there are many folks - 55,000 to be more accurate - that are recovering from a great morning 10K race. The 39th annual Peachtree 10K Road Race took place on July 4th. Each year, it is a chance to push your physical and mental limits beyond a point where you previously thought you could.

(Laura and I pumped and ready wearing our Pancreatic Cancer Action Network shirts and purple wrist bands. Lots of folks asked about the organization along the way.)

During an event like this, the fellowship of friends known and friends to be found along the way serves as inspiration. There is of course the famed "Peachtree Road Race" t-shirt everyone looks forward to.

Everyone making final plans for the run, wondering down deep just how they would respond to the conditions. Each going through their own thoughts that can allow negative attitudes to seep in; doubt could take hold at this point.

As each of us prepare, having others around us will provide support and encouragement. So much can be gained by having the support of friends. The same can also come from the collective support of 55,000 runners or spectators along the way.

Placing ourselves around like-minded people, the negative attitudes can be squashed under the weight of a "peachy attitude".


Surround yourself with great people and see what you can do. Push yourself past the self-imposed physical, mental and spiritual limits of your life. While doing so, surround yourself with great people; there is no end to what you can accomplish.

(I really don't feel as bad as I might look between mile five and six!)

(Really, I'm doing just fine at this point!)

(After the finish line, a nice walk for cold drinks and that famous

"Peachtree Road Race" t-shirt.)

Running For Fun

Look for my wife and I this Friday - July 4th - during the 39th running of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Peachtree Road Race. We will be wearing t-shirts promoting the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. That is if you can find us among the 55,000 plus runners.

The Peachtree has remained the world’s largest 10K since the late 1970s until 2008. It takes approximately 3,200 volunteers to handle the race and the 55,000 runners will burn 34 million calories running the 6.2 mile course.

So maybe you won't see us this year, but think about joining the fun next year. Check it out online, enjoy pushing your self just a little bit further. And there have been 80+ year old men and women walk, jog, run in this event. So I'm sure you can make it along with everyone else.

Have an enjoyable 4th of July and remember those serving over seas and their loved ones. Cheers everyone!!

Patience Has An Effect

The American 6th U.S. President, John Quincy Adams, said “patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.” A phrase that was true in the early 1800s and is true early on in the 2000s.

Our lives are busy and little things can test even our best days. Someone said that you admire patience of the person behind you, but not necessarily of the person in front of you.

A short one day trip recently was a test for me. When I travel by plane, my belief is accept the inevitability of delays, crowds and other foibles or air travel. This recent trip had all of the earmarks of things to go wrong. The flight was delayed by three hours due to the usual reasons, traffic, weather or something.

So I settled in with patience and awaited our boarding time. A spark of encouragement came when the flight delay was decreased by half an hour. All boarded and nearing the take-off runway, we pull to the side. A mechanical problem with an engine and back to the gate. Further delays and now dealing with a flight crew that was nearing the end of a regulated shift.

There was a lot of gnashing teeth, people getting upset and general displeasure. Yet what would you do, leave the plane and try to start all over. We stuck it out and left finally, arriving at our destination at 1:30am. Certainly not a 'magical effect' but effective none the less.

Patience in life is not always easy, but it certainly can have a calming effect and a lasting effect. Life is full of irritation, but it is also full of great things. Be patient and let the "magical effect take place and allow your difficulties to disappear and the obstacles vanish."

Stories of Success

Tell me your stories of success - send a comment and we'll see what great stories of success and change in life brings to each of you.

Keep Moving Forward

“To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.” -Jerry Seinfeld

As you start on your path to greater things; as the pressure builds and the nay-sayers get in the way, keep moving forward. One step in front of the other, keep moving.

The first step is difficult but each one can be met with resistance. Keep your focus on what you can achieve, the goal or dream you have for yourself.

Enduring Life's Problems

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” -Marie Curie

There are stories that abound of facing all odds and persevering through even the worst of times. There is a story I've heard many times and came upon once again on Glenn Gleason's website. It is the story of Sir Ernest Shackleton and how he vowed and succeeded in saving all of his men when they became trapped in the Antarctic waters in 1914.

In repeating Glenn's words, "Shackleton and his crew formulated common goals, and made sure that every choice they made and every action they undertook specifically moved them closer to those goals. They drew upon their strengths to survive throughout enormous hardship. Shackleton’s core belief in a single, powerful dream guided them."

"This story of courage and survival teaches so many lessons. What circumstances are crushing you? Are you making concrete plans to overcome them? Are you reaching out to your “crew” for encouragement? Are you wiling to do whatever it takes to make it back alive?"

"One of the most telling parts of Shackleton’s story is his family motto, “By Endurance We Conquer.” Too many people simply give up. Take courage, persevere, and never be afraid to follow your dream."

What story do you have to tell? It may not be the dramatic story of being trapped at sea, but to you the story is real. Will you give up or will you push forward and realize your dream?

A way to hope and healing

Here are a couple of updates from my good friend Paul O'Connell and his Open Road Missions effort in Peru.



The mission of Open Road Missions is to:

- partner with local organizations to identify areas of need
- assess the best possible methods of providing help
- utilize resources through network connections, strategic partnerships, corporate, government and private support
- foster a strong sense of social, ethical and moral responsibility amongst donors and recipients alike

The laptop for the student mentioned in the video came from a donation, much like those you make each day. Please help support his efforts by making a donation today.

Make a difference in the lives of people around you, reach out across the globe and make a difference in the lives of people far from you.

Buck Stops Here

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change." -Robert Anthony

When things go wrong, some people will refuse to accept the blame or to consider themselves to be at fault. They prefer to blame external factors, forces, people, situations, or circumstances.

In extreme cases we may deny that there is a problem. In other cases, we may try to reduce the reasons for its severity or as for our involvement by assigning the blame elsewhere so that fingers are not pointed at us.

There is an old saying, "when you point a finger at somebody you point three fingers at yourself." More times then not, the idea that three fingers are pointed back at you is a subtle reminder that you may need to accept responsibility.

Someone that carried responsibility was United States President Harry S Truman. He had a sign on his desk to remind him of his position in society. It simply said, "The buck stops here." There was no one else to blame. As president, he could not kick the blame higher.

This is not the case with the rest of us. We may assign blame to others. Yet why do we do it? Are we taught to do so? How does it affect us? How does is keep us from becoming better individuals?

So three things that you can think about when it comes to stopping the blaming and accepting responsibility for your life;

First, learn to accept and value yourself just the way you are now. Even though it continues to be important to maintain goals for your future, self-esteem is how you can evaluate yourself here in the present.

Second, learn that people should not be blamed for their human frailties. Meaning people will have faults, no one is perfect. So don't blame people simply for not being perfect.

Third, learn how to acquire and appreciate positive reinforcement. When you treat others with dignity and respect, it is very likely you will receive positive treatment in return.

There are many other reasons and ideas on accepting responsibility in your life. There may be others at fault at various times, but be quick to understand your part in all that happens. You will find that you will learn more and take away more from the situation then would have occurred by blaming others.

Follow Dreams

“Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” -Unknown

Allow yourself to examine and follow your dreams. There will be days of discouragement but always look to your dreams which will guide you further.

Detours

"The journey of life is not always what we think it should be. There will be detours along the way." -Dean Sweetman

Sailing along in life, driving towards a destination; each of us will come upon a forced change in direction. That sign which tells you to go no further, this isn't the path you will be allowed to take. Understand that these will occur, embrace the change and keep moving forward with your life.

Sheryl Crow - Detours

Adjust Normalcy

"When circumstance causes change, it requires you to adjust your normalcy." -Joe Primm

Life can be a series of ups and downs; causing your world to change from what could be considered normal. Loss of a comfortable job, health issues or a marriage can drastically alter what you are used to.

People will attempt to fight the changes, trying to maintain a life that will never be the same. Recently a friend of ours passed away after a very long battle with cancer. Her fighting spirit was always inspirational (and remains so) to people around her.

It is said that during one point in her battle of descending health, she realized that what was once normal could no longer be. Her remark to a family friend was that she had to 'adjust her normal'. Her new way of life had to become normal, had to become her everyday. And she accepted and adapted to her new every day life.

When life throws its curve into your path, when the normal is no more; you have to accept and move on in acceptance. Adjust your normal and get on with living your life.

Staying Confident Through Troubled Times

Staying in a good frame of mind when things start going bad can be very difficult. It is very easy to slip into a depressing or negative mood. But in order to pull through when things are going bad, you need to maintain a good spirited attitude.

What keeps your confidence to overcome intact has a lot to do with resilience to the circumstance you are under. Resilience is the ability to bounce or spring back into shape - to recover strengths, spirits and good humor when confronted with obstacles.

When you are hit with difficulties, you have to let some of the negatives roll off your back and gain knowledge of what doesn't work so that you can be better prepared for the next step.

Here are three things I've learned to help you maintain confidence and deal with difficult times:

1. Implementation vs Procrastination - So many times people will say, "you can't do that" or "that will never work". There are many people out there whom will offer discouragement instead of encouragement. Try everything, never say never and take encouragement where you can, leave discouragement behind you.

2. Master Mentors - Developing friendships and getting to know people in varied ways gives you a wealth of experience to draw from. These people can teach you valuable lessons without 'sugar coating' the information. Mentors do not necessarily need to be a person; it can be a book or a special quote. Use and reuse those resources as age and experience change over time.

3. Control You Environment - What you think about and who you surround yourself with determine your attitude and confidence more than any other factor. If you constantly hang around negative people, you will inherit those traits. If you hang around positive and successful people, you will inherit those traits as well. I have heard it said, "you don't just pick up on other people's knowledge and experience; you pick up on their energy, too."

Flanders Field

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. Today we say thank you to those that have sacrificed their lives and to think of those that have and do serve.

In Flanders Fields -John McCrae, 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

LaPonda - Life's Light

Today we memorialized a wonderful woman by the name of LaPonda Stephens. Cut short from our natural lives at age 46 by cancer, the memory of her wonders will go on forever in our hearts. The goodness and love she shared will flow through her children as they carry on her legacy.

Her message to all given as a gift to us is, "I love you all and I hope the love I had for you was felt... No day is promised to you... If there is someone you don't love, you need to change your ways." A wonderful flower from heaven is what she is and will forever be.

In ending, her husband Bruce wrote a beautiful poem for his wife. If I am able, I will ask him for permission to share it with you. For now, know that the wonders of life come in the form of people like LaPonda. Be like her and shine a light upon others.

Staying Focused In Vegas

Just a quick note at mid-week. I am in Las Vegas at our company's annual technology conference called EMC World. An awful lot of people from around the world in attendance. So I have had a very good opportunity to meet this varied collection of folks.

Staying focused on keeping your spirits alive and positive should be your goal each day. The rest then will come naturally over time. Have a great week everyone.

Optimistic Belief

Titled "One in a sea of many..."

"I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat." -Harold Wilson

From Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Main Entry: op·ti·mism
Pronunciation: \ˈäp-tə-ˌmi-zəm\
Function: noun
Etymology: French optimisme, from Latin optimum, noun, best, from neuter of optimus best; akin to Latin ops power — more at opulent.
Date: 1759
1 : a doctrine that this world is the best possible world.
2 : an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome.

It seems to be the 'half glass empty or half full' argument when talking about optimism or pessimism. I happen to be more optimistic in most things that I do. Although I wrap it in common sense, knowing when an outcome isn't 'in the cards.' Interestingly enough, being optimistic and not achieving what was first sought has placed me in a position to achieve other unexpected things.

Can being more positive, more optimistic about things impact your life? In an article by Anne Bradley, she states the following the nine benefits.

BENEFITS of OPTIMISM that You Can Have in Your Life

1. Achieve more in any task or goal
2. Higher level of Contentment and Life Satisfaction
3. Better Health
4. More Friends
5. Continued Optimistic Outlook
6. "Life is Good"
7. Feeling of Control over Life
8. Handle Life's Big and Small Problems Better
9. Easier to make decisions without anxiety

Are all of the above guaranteed? Absolutely not, even the pessimistic possibilities in life are not guaranteed to happen to you. So why spend your life worrying about what could go wrong? Mix in the idea that things can go right in your life. Believe in goodness because it happens a lot more then you give it credit for happening.

Mothers Day

Elizabeth Nourse, 1860-1938, artist.

“It's a beautiful thought (Mother's Day), but it's somebody with a hurting conscience that thought of the idea.” -Will Rogers

This Sunday is Mother's Day here in the U.S. Other countries celebrate on various days, but for us, it comes this year on May 11th. A chance to celebrate those which raise and nurture us in life.

A mother mends the scraped knee, consoles you after that first heart break and shares with you the history of your life and those before you. Mothers come in all different shapes, sizes and ages. Yet all come with a very big heart for their children.

Take the opportunity this weekend to visit, call or send a nice card to your mother. Take the opportunity to say thank you and "I love you". Then remember how good it felt and say it more often then just one time a year.

We Overcome Willingly

It was a great weekend as my wife and I went on a Couple's Journey. Sort of a "boot camp, reconnect, push yourself beyond what you think you can accomplish" type of weekend. We might be a little sore physically but mentally it feels great.

On Saturday night, I said to the nearly 40 couples attending that I have a great amount of stories to write. Acts of pushing beyond, stories of overcoming fears and tales of finding out more about each other.

I watched people do extraordinary things, watched my wife do amazing things and even found myself pushing past limits I thought I had. It was a WOW (We Overcome Willingly) type of weekend. When we allow ourselves to willingly push beyond our fear and self-imposed limits, greater things happen.

There will be more stories to tell, but to all that attended, the instructors and my wife; thank you!

“To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence.” -Arthur Schopenhauer

Journey To Find

“When we are sure that we are on the right road there is no need to plan our journey too far ahead. No need to burden ourselves with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar our progress. We cannot take more than one step at a time.” -Orison Swett Marden


When we embark on a new opportunity or change in our life, the path may look dark and lonesome. But it is a path of discovery and the wonders you may find are simply hidden along the way.

This weekend I take a journey with my wife and thirty seven other couples on a trip to find what is hidden. Hidden inside each of us and hidden in our future. I look forward to the journey and hope that you find enjoyment in yours.

Inner Strength

"Although men are accused for not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps as few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of." -Jonathan Swift

So often we are self critical of ourselves, finding fault in our talents or abilities. I am not sure why that is, but I do hear it often from various people. We take those 'deficiencies' and analyze them over and over again. The weight given to these faults is much more then the inner strengths that each of us possess.

We forget that strengths mean as much if not more in our lives then do the faults. But what does happen is that we allow those faults to overcome and beat down that inner strength.

Take your 'vein of gold' and use inner strength to build your life. You will be amazed at how it changes your life. Moving from the 'half empty' to 'half full' mentality of attitude. You do have talents; you do have inner strength that you can build upon.

You Can Do It

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” -Benjamin Spock

When ever I hear or think about trust oneself, I think back to a movie called "The Waterboy". There is a recurring person that is always extolling to the main character, "You Can Do It". The phrase has stuck with me and is one that I always repeat to myself when in doubt.

I also use it to encourage others; very simple but powerful in its message. You should know that each of us is capable of so much more. Our only problem is in trusting those abilities. So when you are faced with some obstacle or maybe an opportunity; say to yourself, "you can do it".

Steve Deal Band

Today I'm doing a bit of promoting for a friend of mine, Steve Deal. He is a very talented song writer. His music genre is Christian music, but very free flowing and lifts your spirits greatly.

A review of his music explained that "Steve grew up in the small country town of Cootamundra in rural Australia. He learned to play the drums and started playing in a garage band at the age of 15. While backpacking around the USA in 1988 at the age 18, Steve picked up his first guitar and immediately began writing songs. Steve honed his guitar playing skills in clubs around Sydney but mostly by playing in a band in church every week for 10 years. Currently, Steve works as a music director at Christian city church in Atlanta and has several albums to his credit."

The following video is an example of his talent.



If interested in his music, find free downloads through the link or search for Steve Deal Band on Google or your favorite search engine. Support a 'starving artist' as they always say.

Techniques To Improve Attitude

"Nature presents us with an infinite variety of attitudes--from gloomy mist to glorious sunshine. Our own moods, whether gloomy or bright, radiate to those around us."

The following information comes from a publication released by the West Virginia University Extension Service. It is called THE WINNING ATTITUDE

The article offers eight techniques to help you adjust your attitude. Each of these are ideas that seem very simple, but they are effective.

1. Employ the flip side technique.

When a "negative" enters your life, flip the problem over and look for whatever humor may exist on the other side. When this is successful, you will be able to minimize the negative impact of a problem on your attitude. Humor is an important ingredient in this technique.

2. Play your winners.

Like a business, you have winners in your life. The more you focus on them the better. All of us have to deal with positive factors (winners) and negative factors
(losers) in our lives. If not careful, we let losers push the winners in the background. Some ways to make your winners more important include:

* THINK about your winners. Concentrate on the positives.
* TALK about your winners. Talk about the happy, exciting things of life.
* REWARD yourself by enjoying your winners. Do what you enjoy.

3. Simplify! Simplify!

Free yourself from complications. An uncluttered focus helps you accept and enjoy life's simple pleasures. Each of us probably has some cluttered areas that we could clear out:

* Unused and unappreciated possessions,
* Too many involvements,
* Career-home imbalance,
* Putting off the little things, and
* Holding on to worn-out relationships.

4. Insulate! Insulate!

Learn to live with certain "no-win" situations that cannot be resolved, thrown out, or ignored. Each of us probably has a way of working out or coping with some of these situations: talk about it, work harder, laugh, share problem with supreme being, or change environments.

5. Give your positive attitude to others.

You can keep your positive attitude by giving it to others. Everyone winds up a winner when positive attitudes are shared.

6. Look better to yourself.

Often you look better to others than you do to yourself. When you have a poor self-image, you are looking through a glass darkly. When you feel you don't look good, nothing else looks good. But, when you look good to yourself, everything else looks better. You may want to adjust your positive attitude through image improvements such as improving your wardrobe, changing your hairstyle or cosmetics, looking healthier, being yourself, or keeping a good self-image.

7. Accept the physical connection.

Most people feel there is a relationship between physical well-being and attitude. Exercise helps keep us out of attitudinal ruts.

8. Clarify your mission.

An individual with a purpose is more apt to have a positive attitude than someone without direction. A purpose in life helps individuals keep focused, provides perspective, and destroys uncertainty.

The previous techniques are a great way to start. They are a great path to a different you that will take you from the negative to the positive mind set. Begin a new journey to a new you.

Attitude In Words

I have been on vacation the past few days and am recharged and ready to start writing again this week. This recent trip was a 'history' trip that I take annually with a few friends. We visit historical sites in a particular area of the country. No different then other years, the friendship and good times with my friends always refills my spirit.

The other good news is that my new book, "Attitude In Words" is now available for purchase. A great daily read for you that will certainly try to motivate and inspire you to greatness. All proceeds go to various charities that are of the kind which help others in life.

Open Road Missions
C3 Center
Pancreatic Cancer Research
Crohns and Colitis Foundation of America

Find a purpose to volunteer or contribute to - it only takes a first step.

Living A Gift

“People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

I do not know where the above quote originated from but it is a wonderful way to express your love of someone. And for those that read my blog know of my mother's pancreatic cancer, understand the reality of the sickness but know that love can work great miracles. With all of the treatments available, a great doctor and the support of family and friends, she will do well.

The faith that surrounds my family is strong enough to believe that she has a chance to live longer then the odds. So this past week was spent visiting with her, my father and my siblings. I view it as having been given a gift. She felt well during our stay and the love we have always shared grew a bit stronger.

This gift we shared is one that many people never realize until much too late. All of us were 'living a gift' to have this time together. The same should be experienced each day of your life. Try to live this gift which is given to you.

It is a gift of loved ones, of being able to say good morning, good evening and extending your love in many different ways. To live your days embracing those around you and to not let the minor problems in life get in the way.

Enjoy your life and experience the love of all that goes with with it.

Be A Tigger - Randy Pausch

In the face of impossible odds, there will be those that fall and crumble with no belief in continuing until the end. There will be those that take a more positive path and live life to its fullest. As this video reminds us, "you can spend your life complaining or spend it playing the game hard."

Randy Pausch is a person much like my mother in the sense that both have pancreatic cancer. But they are also a like in a way that both are content and positive about their condition. They are choosing to make any remaining time a good one, while fighting for a positive outcome in their individual battle against cancer.

I hope for anyone who is struggling with any of life's stones thrown your way; that you are able to take inspiration and strength from those around you.



For more on Randy Pausch, click on his link. For lots of good information and the ability to support the research to control, contain, CURE this cancer is at Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

Be strong, be brave and reach out to your dreams in order to achieve them.

Fullfilling Your Vision

“Vision; it reaches beyond the thing that is, into the conception of what can be. Imagination gives you the picture. Vision gives you the impulse to make the picture your own.” - Robert Collier

When you dream of a vision and then begin to step towards it, you are on a path to realize that vision. So it is with a friend of mine and his love of music. As part of that love, the band in which he plays Mandolin has grown to become quite popular in the Bluegrass music community.

His story is like many others that have a vision or dream, but do not simply sit still. He has created movement in his life, always knowing that he would find his way to reach this vision.

You have the same ability to achieve many things in life. If you have even just a single dream, it takes making movement. The building near the crossroads has a door through which you can step through. There will be many paths you can take from that point forward and you will not have a clear idea of which one to take.

The idea though is to simply take one of the paths. Begin the journey and eventually you will find yourself standing at the gate to your dream. This final door that you have been moving towards. Step forward and find your dream.

To find out more about what was on the other side of my friend's door, check out Blackstone Valley Bluegrass.

Spreading Happiness

"Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is." -Maxim Gorky

If you are able to capture and hold happiness in your life, holding it to yourself, eventually the flame that lights it will go out. But if you share your happiness with others, it will spread like the rising sun across the landscape.

Enjoy your weekend and spread your happiness with others.

Easter Greetings

“Love. What is love? No word can define it, it's something so great, only God could design it. Yes, love is beyond, what man can define, for love is immortal, and God's gift is divine.” -Unknown Author

Comfort Of Others

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” -Unknown Author

When life throws us a challenge, there are never enough of the right words one can say. Whether it be the loss of a job, a troubled child, or news of a health crisis; the ability to simply care for each other is our greatest strength as human beings.

Life will cause changes in your life and give you challenges to overcome. The one thing we can do though is to comfort and care for those in need. So my wish for you is just what is quoted above.

Belief In Self

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." -Norman Vincent Peale

I have heard so many times the phrase, "I can't do that" or "I'm not good enough." Both of these phrases are self-defeating. While it is good to know and understand our own limitations, we tend to under estimate ourselves far more often.

There are those that will attempt to live on the 'faith' of others in our own ability. You can do this for a short amount of time, but eventually you have to obtain your own faith in yourself. Otherwise, you can not sustain the path that you've embarked on.

In the clinical sense, faith in oneself is called self-esteem. Without this component of our personality, you can go through life feeling bad about yourself needlessly. Low self-esteem keeps you from enjoying life, doing the things you want to do, and working toward personal goals.

All of this is very important as it impacts how you think, act and even how you relate to other people. It impacts your potential to be successful. It additionally has a direct bearing on your happiness and well being.

Find ways to believe in your self - read books, research the Internet, get around others that believe in you and find out why they do. Then get a new attitude about you and start believing in you.

Jeffrey Childers - A Passing Of Light

A friend and co-worker of many where I work, lost her husband very recently. Jeffrey Dewayne Childers, Sr., age 48, of Hoschton, GA, died Friday March 7, 2008 at his residence. To his surviving wife Rose, sons, Jeff and Justin and all relatives, our sincerest condolences and prayers go out to each of you.

Under the shadow of a leafy bough
That leaned toward a singing rivulet,
One pure white stone, whereon, like crown on brow,
The image of the vanished star was set;
And this was graven on the pure white stone
In golden letters--"While he lived he shone."

(Adapted from Jean Ingelow, Star's Monument)

Open Road To A Better Life

Sending out another plug for my friend Paul O'Connell at Open Road Missions. His group was founded to reach out to people in need and bring needed resources and services into their communities.



If you would like more information, please visit his website at Open Road Missions. Also consider becoming a regular contributor to this great organization.

30 Tips To a Better 2008

My wife passed this on to me and thought I would share with everyone.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest
your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinking of ya!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

Have a continued great 2008 year.

Penitent Magdalene

A wonderful painting by Carravaggio called Penitent Magdalene.

Start To Accomplish

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.” -Unknown

All that you do in life begins with a decision to simply try. If you sit and think of all the ways you will fail, nothing will ever be accomplished. But getting up off the chair and making that first step, sets you on a path to achieving or changing that which you want in life.

Movement causes change, even if the first steps are wrong you have learned something. You then take the next path or try the next idea. A person that comes to a crossroads with many paths, choose one and enjoy the adventure. If the path does not take you where you originally thought, embrace what you find or find another path.

Just keep trying, keep looking and enjoy the process. Life is not out to keep you down, life is simply life. Start today, start trying.

Time For A Mentor - Time For A Friend

So I finally get around to commenting about a person that I hold in my heart as a great mentor. My co-worker retired not long ago, taking his life on a new adventure. His wife Pamela and he will enjoy many years of life without the 'need' for work.

As we go through our own lives, there are people you can look to as those that had great influence upon you. Art was one of those people for me, someone that mentored me and gave me the encouragement to succeed in my career. Not only did he do that, he became a friend to me and helped me through personal issues as well.

There are those people in your life that if you simply look for them, they will be there in front of you. Learn from them and appreciate the gift that they bring into your life. Then take those gifts and pass them along to someone. As one mentor moves on, another one (you) is created to guide others on in life.

Take time to remember and thank those mentors in your life. Take time to remember them as a friend.

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day Laura ! ! !

(and to all of my daughters, mother, sister, sister-in-laws)

Take the day to tell someone that you love them!

Attitude In Words

"Attitude In Words" the book is coming soon. I've written my first book and I am getting ready to publish. I'm excited about it being out there and more excited knowing that it may help millions of people out there improve their life.

Getting this book written was one of those 'first steps' that I have spoken about many times before. There are dreams that each of us envision, but it take us acting upon those visions at some point. What happens is that the vision becomes a reality - the finality of believing, acting and then realizing it.

First on the list of people that encouraged me is my wife Laura. She kept pushing me to make it a reality. She made sure that I understood this book would have a huge impact upon lots of people. Secondly are all of my kids, each one that has this touch of greatness and goodness in their lives. By watching them, I've learned so much from them; even at my age it is still possible to learn.

There are others that make a difference such as Dean Baker, a friend that gave me the final "poke in the back" to get it done. By the way, he makes some very good Beef Jerky that maybe one day you will be able to purchase. Dean and Jill Sweetman along with many others associated with them are a constant inspiration to me.

You need to find those people that can do the same thing in your life. Surround your self with inspriing and positive people. They will lift you during bad times, they will sustain you during the good times and your life will be enrichened.

So look forward to my first book, I'm excited and hope you will find it an inspiration as well.

Accomplish Something Big

“It's important to recognize that many people working together can do things which individuals working alone cannot do.” -Alan Cranston

In a game that some termed 'David and Goliath' and others believed would lack excitement; the American sport of football held its Super Bowl last night. The New England Patriots, 3-time Super Bowl Champions and record of 18-0 coming into this game faced the New York Giants, a 12-6 record and a roller coaster type season in this season ending championship game.

It was a very good game with the NY Giants coming out 17-14 point winners. It was also a game of many people coming together doing what seemed the impossible. This type of 'winning in life' can occur in your life as well. When people are working together, they can create an atmosphere in which possibility can become a reality.

There are many stories of people working towards a common goal accomplishing great things. Take the story of a single mom in Dacula, GA. Rhythm Bell's life was enrichened by a group of volunteers from the C3 Center in Lawrenceville, GA; a program designed to help single mothers.

These folks transformed her home, doing on a smaller scale what the 'big' shows like Extreme Home Makeover do so well for other deserving people. There will be more information during a conference called Illuminate in March, but to look at the home before and after shows what a group of people, working together with a common goal can achieve.

Try volunteering for something, serve to help others once in a while and see what can be done. Great things are out there just waiting for you and others to accomplish.

Never Judge, Learn More

There are those that go about life in such an un-assuming manner. They lead ordinary lives and at first glance, do not leave an immediate impression of any greatness. It is commonly referred to as 'judging a book by its cover'.

In life we miss so much by doing just that, judging someone by first looks. When we fail to look beyond the surface, we do not find that which lay within. The greatness of talent or the fullness of knowledge that such a person could impart to you goes unseen.

Take the story of Paul Potts from Britain, a person lacking self confidence and working in a cell phone store. But during all of this, many people were unaware of his singing talents until he auditioned for a TV program in Britain.

The following two videos will give you an excellent idea of what so many were missing by 'first look'.



And as you guessed it, the winner;

Never A Blue Monday

Today, January 21nd (2008) is termed by Cliff Arnall as Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. It is described as the unhappiest day in the entire year, which takes into account six factors: weather, debt, time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and the feeling of a need to take action.

There may be type of truth to this statistical day which is claimed to have the highest percentage of potential suicides of any given day of the year. But any day can bring doom or depression. It is a matter of how badly the tough times weigh upon your mental state or heart.

My belief is that you always need to try and find some level of goodness to pull your self through. Many times we fail to see even the slightest amount of goodness that does exist in our lives. We will focus so heavily upon the negative as it takes so much less energy to do, yet it exerts the most damage to our lives.

There are of course clinical reasons for depression and many great professionals that can help one through these times. My purpose is to offer any small glimpse of hope that there is that light, the hope of a better life. I have experienced the lows of depression and have had a close relative take the option of suicide. If I could have offered that bit of light, maybe things would be different.

So when you dip into this downturn in life, hold onto any bit of light that may exist. The smallest of things are a building block to something better. For the rest of us, that smile you give, the small gesture of kindness can have an impact on someone that may be walking through a dark point in life.

Search for the light of good that exists in your life, do not dwell upon the negative. Also, be the light for someone else and know that it can be a life changing gesture to others.

Turning Dreams Into Goals

“Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together.” -Anais Nin

Your dreams are now ready to be converted into goals. Conversion of dreams into goals creates a more tangible or physical realization of them. Goals are the first steps to realizing the dream.

By setting goals you can:

- Achieve more in your lifetime
- Improve your overall performances in life
- Increase your motivation to achieve the most out of life
- Increase your pride and satisfaction in your achievements
- Improve your self-confidence
- Plan to eliminate attitudes that hold you back and cause unhappiness

People who use goal-setting effectively:

- Suffer less from stress and anxiety
- Concentrate and focus better
- Show more self-confidence
- Perform better in all areas of life
- Are happier and more satisfied with life