Lessons in Love

“Enjoy the process. In the middle of this is where everything happens.” -Dean Sweetman

In my new book called LOVE IS describes my journey to discover what real love is. I also take a look at other couple in history and their story of love. There are also chapters that examine the greatest love story ever told. So in my efforts to help you learn what real love is, I am including bits and pieces of my book in various blog articles.

In the chapter titled "If I Speak", my days in college turned out to be a mixed bag of discovery. I see failure in the form of not completing my degree and hard lessons learned regarding how to handle different situations. But I also see success in what turned out to be a path to having four wonderful boys and a great career.

So here is an excerpt from my book, LOVE IS.

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The year’s in-between high school and my sister’s death slowly began to have love take hold of me. There were moments of learning and false starts. Even as I graduated from high school, there were still those selfish feelings of “why didn’t I receive more from the high school experience.” No scholarships, no girl friend, no shouts of encouragement or job well done. This caused me to harden my resolve that I would have to do it all on my own. That is not exactly what love is all about and it would continue to take time for the learning process to develop. So off to college I went with a self-centered ambition in mind to succeed on my own terms and that is how I left those early years behind.

Peru State College in Peru, Nebraska would prove to be the application, right or wrong, of those lessons that were building up inside of me. I would enter college with the initial purpose of separating myself from my high school days. I was determined to build a new life on my own terms. College brings new possibility to everything. There are new people, new surroundings and new challenges to conquer. I set out to achieve everything I could by myself since it seemed no one else wanted to be part of my life. It all turned out good and I learned new lessons in life and love even though I was a slow learner.

I jumped into college full steam ahead, becoming involved in many different adventures. There was of course the standard class schedule, much of which I quickly lost control of. This was due to the fact I was becoming heavily involved in many of the other college activities. There was student government, plays to act in, art classes to take and of course parties to attend. It was a collision course with failure to earn a degree that I didn’t see coming.

There were many other successes that came out of my college attendance. I became the Student Body President and also an appointed Student Representative to the State College Board of Trustees. I learned the dos and the don’ts of representative government. I failed miserably at some of my work but succeeded in others. There were people I met along the way that were good and some not so good. All of time I was trying to it all by myself in what I later viewed as righteous indignation.

My love life was on a very slow track as well. It seemed I was falling back into old habits from high school. There were advances and there were a couple of girls that I dated, both of which taught me different lessons about love. There was heartache on my part in never being able to develop a relationship with one. And the other there was heartache on her part when I broke off our relationship. I cannot remember enough to tell you why either relationship failed, but I would say my lack of understanding what love really meant contributed to it. As my relationship with these two women failed, so did my classroom studies. As I transitioned into my second year of college, there was still hope of success in continuing my education.

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I firmly believe that we are constantly on a journey to find the full potential of love. Love is and can be a very powerful force in our life. I would suggest that once you learn the basic tenets of what LOVE IS, it will focus your own journey and make it more enjoyable.

Enjoy my new book folks and as always, stay inspired.

Keep Your Fork

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile." -Unknown

There is a story I heard not long ago regarding a young woman diagnosed with a terminal illness. She had not been given much time left to live and felt it very important to get things in order. So she contacted her Pastor to come discuss various aspects of her final wishes.

There were all of the usual things regarding song she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. When everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman remembered something very important to her.

She said excitedly "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. In response to his puzzled look, she explained. "My grand mother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!"

She went on to say, "So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork....the best is yet to come."

By telling this story, you do not need to be on death's door to understand the meaning. Whatever circumstance you are in, things will get better, the best is yet to come.

So stay inspired my friends and keep a fork in your hand.

Baby Its Cold

Johnny Carson: Man, is it cold out there today.
Ed McMahon: How cold is it?
Johnny Carson: It's so cold I saw a chicken with a capon.

Okay, so maybe it isn't that cold out side but my first day in Germany and the temperature is 14 degrees Farenheit. An artic blast reminding me that yes, it does get cold in various places.

I was warned though and I planned ahead. But having a carry-on suitcase and not wanting to carry bundles of coats, I felt prepared enough. The jacket, scarf, hat and gloves were and will have to be enough. Even with my planning though, the sharpness of the cold cut through me.

That is sort of how life is sometimes. We plan and prepare for what is to come but sometimes it just isn't enough. The sharpness of circumstance will cut through you and change the course of your day. What matters is how you carry forth from the situation.

For me, I could let it ruin my entire business trip. I could decide to allow myself to be miserable but won't. I'll enjoy the feeling of the cold, of artic wind upon my face and the numbing of my toes. It will create great memories and also lessons for next time.

Something can always be gained from your experience. And the great thing is that you get to decide. It is your choice on how you'll respond to the situation. I choose to enjoy it, learn from it and next time I will certainly be more prepared. That is how we move ahead in life.

Stay warm and stay inspired my friends.

Patience Moves

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The start to a new week was going well. Everything was in order for my overseas business trip. It was an uneventful ride to the train station where I kissed my lovely wife goodbye. It was an uneventful train rider to the airport. It was even an uneventful stroll to the security checkpoint.

I than had to use most of what I write each day to exude patience upon the TSA security checkpoint. The queue up to have my ticket checked was fine and a very uncrowded line up to fill the bins awaited me. And than the TSA agent...

The line was moving very easily, there were no hold ups, no back ups. But all of a sudden she wanted everyone to shuffle along faster. She pushed our items onto the conveyor belt before we were ready. She hustled us for some unknown reason. I was very close to losing my patience but decided patience was the better course this day. Maybe this just wasn't a good day for her.

Patience paid off because I kept my cool, didn't create a scene and got through security with additional hassle. All I had to do was wait out the situation.

In business and every day life, we each are faced with times where that patience is tested. And having that patience is important because we all eventually come to terms with the fact that many things won't happen as soon as we would like them to.

One could imagine themselves as someone who prefers winter when it is currently July. At this moment in time you are unhappy. But you have to reach the point in understanding that the unhappiness is a choice. Will getting upset change summer into winter? Will getting upset really accomplish anything accept making you more miserable?

Winter will eventually come, so maybe it is much better to relax and just wait. Your stress level will fall quite a bit when you learn to accept the things you can not change.

Also, patience is important because some things are better the longer you wait. Uncooked food, marinated for hours and slow cooked becomes better with time. You could simply microwave it, but the marinating and slow cooking will provide you with much more satisfaction.

Lastly, patience will help keep you from acting irrationally. The result of not slowing down can keep you from acting rashly. If you sit back and think before acting, you may realize that there is an alternative solution that would benefit you more. The longer you wait, the more you will be able to control your emotions so that you can think rationally

These principles of patience can serve you well in business and in your personal life. All you have to do is slow down and watch it happen. It won't occur instantly, for if it did it wouldn't be patience.

So keep working towards being a more patient person in life and see how it can truly create a better world for you.

And stay inspired my friends.