Friday, July 20, 2012

Expect Anything


"Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was." -Richard L. Evans

It is an official proclamation, if you "expect the worst and you won't be disappointed." So many of us fall prey to this saying, but an article in Popular Science revealed information from a psychology study published in the journal "Cognition and Emotion" about this old adage.

The study conducted showed that people who expected to perform poorly on a test actually felt worse when they did fail. This in comparison to those who also failed but approached the test with a positive attitude. What this study does is debunk that saying. Chances are pretty good that you will be very disappointed if you start out with that expectation.

To me, the revealing message has to do with how you deal with that situation. Failure is a part of life and comes with being human. If you go around with a negative attitude about everything in life, you will likely feel worse when failure does occur.

And why is that true? Because when the failure occurs, you have only reenforced the negative belief that you will never succeed. You then dwell on the fact that only bad things happen and you will feel worse.

If this is true, why not simply embrace the idea that failures can and do happen, but also that success can and does occur. Change your mind to believe that success will happen. When failure occurs, treat it as a lesson learned which will only help make you a better person.

You can live in the negative and feel continually bad about "...your lot in life." Or you can choose to live in the positive and enjoy all that you can attain.

Stay inspired my friends.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Plug Back Into Life


"Tenacity is key because it keeps you going during tough times, but it must be tempered because sometimes you need to back down or walk away."
- John Stollenwerk, CEO of Allen-Edmonds

Many of us, including me, become wrapped up very heavily in our jobs. The worry of work drives us to stay connected even outside of our work hours. Simply put, our ability to step away from work has been usurped by technology. Mobile devices, cell phones, satellite and the "smart" globalization of everything makes it difficult to 'not be available.'

All of a sudden you realize that "picture day" has snuck up on you. Guess what, it is time to look at the priorities in your life. I call it "picture day" because your child had pictures taken at school today and you forgot about it. The picture did not look very good. You forgot to help your child prepare and the proof is in the pictures.

I am of course speaking metaphorically about the dangers of losing balance in your life. When you finally realize that you have allowed technology to keep you connected to work all day, every day. You find that you have missed planning a birthday or some other important event. Technology kept you plugged into work, but not into life.

We allow the technology to push our family and personal life to the bottom of the list. Work becomes all consuming and when this happens you need to set some boundaries that will allow you reclaim balance in your life.

Here are a few rules to consider regarding technology and regaining balance.

Turn off technology whenever you can.

Even if you have to start slowly by blocking off Sunday morning as a 'no-cell-phone' or 'no-iPAD' zone. Give your batteries a break and simply shut your phone off.

Send less, get less.

It is said that if you send 20 percent less email, you'll receive 10 percent less. Cut out the quick thank you replies and don't hit "reply all" unless absolutely necessary.

Don't send email on weekends.

This means to work colleagues who are probably trying to find their own balance. Make your boundaries known. You have to be very clear in the workplace that 'no, you are not available on weekends.' When you do this in the beginning and you draw the line, expectations can be managed.

Figure out your own rules

Adapt the boundaries that are right for you. In example, if it is in the service of relaxation (taking electronics on vacation), it can actually help. Your Kindle, your Nook or other device can help you in achieving balance in your life. Just nothing work related.

Over time you will start to realize that "ok, I'm not missing anything critical." The question will become "what is going to make you more relaxed?" Sitting at your child's school program speculating about what might be piling up in your inbox is madness. Regain some sort of balance in your life, regain your life.

Stay inspired my friends.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Broken Down Car





One late afternoon, I was sitting in a restaurant having an early dinner with my wife. We were dining on the patio area with big thick glass walls dividing us from the plaza which stretched quite a distance to the street. The time of day was busy as people were heading home from work in a particularly busy area of Los Angeles.

But than every day, all day, Los Angeles is quite busy with traffic.

As cars filled the lanes to go straight or turn left, each was trying to simply get home from a long day at work no doubt. A parent here trying to get to the daycare for a child, another with one last stop before home and others just winding down their day. Then as circumstance always seems to happen, a car broke down in the turn lane. A ruin to the driver's day and quickly becoming the same to drivers behind this man.

With so much traffic on the street, cars were quickly piling up behind wanting to turn left. The broken down car was several car lengths from the light, so as those in front would clear, those behind would vent frustration by honking their horn. Some would find a clear opportunity and move out into oncoming lanes to get around. Others would try to squeeze back to the right to get around.

With all of the frustration, no one was making a decision to help this man.

You could hear the shouts of some and the horns of others. There were erratic driving scenes of those wanting to get around the momentary source of their problems. This one man was the object of everything wrong for these people.

Without all hope being tossed out the window, we did see a few people stop to offer help. One young lady went so far as to put herself in a bit of a dangerous position with the amount and speed of oncoming traffic. Yet from what we could tell at a distance is that the man waved off help.

We could only surmise that he had apparently called for a tow truck. Waiting and waiting was going to be his penance for having car trouble, at rush hour and inconveniencing so many other people.

The horns, the gestures and the wait were his to endure.

A tow truck did arrive within the hour and pulled him to safety, freeing up traffic to go about its busy day. And what became of the man we will never know. But it likely ended as you might expect; a tow bill, a car repair bill, late getting home, tired and exhausted.

What of those other people that mocked and ridiculed him with the gestures and honks of displeasure? Did their day really improve by taking it out on this one lone driver? Was this broken down vehicle a planned event to be the reason for a bad day? Did these people actually end up feeling better?

Unlikely, for the broken down vehicle was only a distraction.

What of the few people that did offer to stop and help? I'm betting that their day actually improved. I am betting that it eased some of the burden in their day. Even those that didn't stop but were mindful and empathetic to the situation; they likely had an easing of their day.

The idea of helping others, in any shape or form is ingrained in our human nature. Some of us repress it as a horrible thing to have. Yet others embrace it and understand the power of helping others. Another person's misfortune is not our gain, but an opportunity to lift yourself while lifting another person.

It makes you a better person, reflecting the better you are and others notice.

Would you or I ever want to one day meet one of the irate people that flashed a demeaning gesture? Or would I rather meet the person that stopped to offer help to another person in need?

Think about how you would react in your busy day. Not only stuck in traffic, but in the grocery line, at the bank or even with your children brushing their teeth before bed. Patience, understanding and kindness will take us much further towards a successful life then the alternative. Our lives will be better for it.

Stay inspired my friend.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Where is Matt - Again



Check out Elly at Its Elly



You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth
.”
― William W. Purkey


It started for me back in 2008 when I first heard of Matt Harding. If you viewed that first article you will understand when I ask, "Where the hell has Matt been?"

Here is the video that I first saw along with you.



When the world seems too big and complicated. When life itself seems to be closing in upon you. Get up and dance.

So in answer to my question, "this is where the hell Matt has been."



Stay inspired my friends and dance once in a while.