Judge Yourself

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Gustav Jung

If you read that quote carefully, you begin to understand that being judgmental of others says more about ourselves than it does of the person we are judging. I have heard it said that "People provide behavioral models for each other all the time. It is one of the main ways in which we learn things. Every time we see a behavioral model that we don't deem worthy of emulating, such as someone we find irritating, it narrows the selection process for the behaviors that we want to emulate."

What is hard to reconcile many times is that many of the things we find irritating are those things that remind us of our own flaws. Many of the people who seem constantly irritated by most everything are more times than not basically unhappy with themselves. These same people will try to deceive themselves into thinking that its everyone else's fault. All they are attempting to do is block the insight into their own lives that may help them solve their problems.

And that can be very sad to watch someone go through.

All of us have tendencies that make us wish we were or had something else. It could be the physical beauty of a super model, or a great athlete. Whatever that 'thing' is, we will tend to find irritating that which we currently are not. What we need to do instead is find comfort in who we currently are. When we find happiness in who we are (good, bad, whatever) is when we can move on to a more productive life.

Find that person inside of you, the good, the bad and work on who you are first. You can't change others, your judgement of them doesn't change you either. Find out what it is about yourself that you want to change and change it. Easier said then done you are saying, but only you can do it.

Find yourself first, find judgement in who you are.

Stay inspired my friends.

Nicodemus Moves Furniture

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them." -Orison Swett Marden

My wife and I recently moved into a new home after many years residing in a former house. It was a challenge for us as it would be for anyone. Change of any kind will do that to you. It can create anxiety, doubt and obstacles you may never have thought about. For us, this change was planned and it gave us a reasonable amount of control over that change. Some people are not as fortunate.

Change is sometimes thrust upon us by circumstance.

For this particular move, we hired a moving company famously and simply known as Two Men and a Truck. Two guys and a big truck show up at your house to help you move from one place to another. It was a perfect solution for me as I get a bit older, the lifting, the heat, the up and down stairs takes its toll. Having two younger guys doing the heavy lifting worked out great.

One of the guys was a 23 year-old named Nicodemus; Nico for short. He informed me that yes, he had indeed been named after that Nicodemus. So it had peaked my interest to hear more. I soon learned through the small talk of the humidity, heat and long day that he was married, with a small three year-old daughter and going to school working to earn an Associate's Degree in electronics.

As the work day ended, the paperwork was being drawn up, we sat at the kitchen table talking. I find it soothing that even though we had no food on the table, we were gathered at a table where so much is shared. It is here I learned that he had attended two years at a west Georgia college after he left high school.

What he said next set me back in my chair.

His short college career mimicked my own in many ways and as I listened, I couldn't help from being drawn back in time. You can read about my own similarities in Changed Lives. But simply put, he dropped out of college to support a new family. Now at the young age of twenty-three he has a beautiful three year-old daughter.

Nicodemus talked a little bit about the obstacles he has had to overcome. He spoke of circumstances of his own doing and others that life throws at us. It is his daughter and wife that continue to be his driving force as he puts it. So he works days moving other peoples furniture and nights going to school working on that degree.

There will be more circumstance, more obstacles to overcome I told Nicodemus. I gave him encouragement as I talked of my similar road to where I am today, sitting at that table, talking of success and victory. I told him that the day will come when he is not the one moving the furniture. It will be success that he finds, as all of us can by walking through the obstacles that enter our lives.

He was grateful for the encouragement and as he was leaving I asked him if he knew what the name Nicodemus meant?

In the heat of the mid-afternoon, he turned to me, smiled and said, "Of course I do. It means 'victory of the people'." With that Two Men and a Truck drove away in the light rain.

Will you overcome the obstacles in life or cower to them in fear? I say be fearless and push through to victory, to success.

Stay inspired my friends.

Not the Past

"Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!" -Owens Lee Pomeroy

Not long ago I was involved in a conversation regarding how good things used to be. The point being made that life was simpler, better for all that we had or didn't have. This person waxed on about how great life was. There were many examples being given to illustrate their argument;

- No social media to glue our attention every moment of the day.
- No cell phones that keep us constantly connected to work.
- No economic hardship of harsh unemployment rates and low wages.
- No ... well you get the point.

I kept thinking to myself what kind of nirvana was this person living in? It is very possible that the cycle of economic, social or philosophical change had jaded this person. The past may have seemed better relative to this person's condition in the present day.

In fact, each of us could possibly trace a period in our life when things seemed more clear or comfortable then what exists in our lives today. But for many obvious reasons, we can not live in the past nor can we stop life from changing around us. All we can really do is adapt to the ever changing world and control our own attitude.

When I thought of the points made, I could only think of how far we have come and in many ways learned from the past.

- Yes, social media to expand our connection to others around the world.
- Yes, cell phones that give us wonderful technologies to keep us safer.
- Yes, a workforce that is evolving in the always cyclical nature of business.
- Yes, an opportunity to adapt and change with our ever changing world.

We can lull ourselves into a sense that life was greater, but we must also remember that the past was once our present. We need to learn from that past in order to make our present even greater. Use the experiences lived long ago to make the experiences of today ones that will advance our lives.

Life is like that of an electronic component called a diode. It has low resistance to current flow in one direction, but a high resistance in the opposite direction. Live your life in a forward direction. Live life having learned from the past and not one in which you remain in the past. Embrace the changing world and marvel in all that is possible.

Stay inspired my friends!

On Top

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.”
-Oprah Winfrey

You just never know how far you will go until you get there. And the only way to get there is by placing yourself around others that will help lift you. That sounds like a no-brainer, but many times we surround ourselves with negative people.

It is those type of people that will only hold us down.

Negativity can be very infectious when it starts to invade your world. Their restricting vines will entwine you until one day you find yourself stuck. There is darkness that surrounds negativity. It restricts your view of what could be a greater life. It simply makes life very difficult to live within the bounds of negativity.

By placing yourself around people that lift and encourage can also be infectious.

Those that live a more upbeat and inspired life want to share that with you. The belief that dreams and visions can be achieved will be nurtured by these type of people. Your life will have a clearer vision of all the possibilities that exist and give you a path towards achieving those possibilities.

You may not end up performing acrobatic moves atop the Empire State Building, but then again you might. You see that's what is great about life, anything is possible.

Stay inspired my friends.