Abuse is Abuse in Any Form

"... you don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future." ― Jane Green

Abuse comes in all forms and manners. It is any behavior designed to control and oppress another person through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation or other means. Most people would first think of abuse to be a physical assault upon another. This type of abuse is outward and very damaging. Bruises, broken bones and even worse; physical abuse is very destructive.

But there are other forms of abuse such as verbal or emotional abuse that are just as destructive.

Verbal abuse is the use of language to hurt someone, whether it is with conscious or unconscious intent. Emotional abuse is described by Beverly Engels “as any nonphysical behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate another person through the use of degradation, humiliation, or fear."

Two of the driving forces behind an abuser (consciously or not) is that of gaining dominance and control over someone else. And the types of emotional or verbal abuse happen more than one might think. The National Domestic Violence Hotline group indicates that nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)

Maybe your wife automatically takes a viewpoint opposite yours and tells you that you are always wrong.

Maybe your husband points out your mistakes or calls you names.

Maybe you are always criticizing your child about one thing or another.

Over time, verbal attacks can and will destroy your identity and sense of self-worth.

The abuse might end if the abuser makes a personal commitment and willingness to change behavior with counseling and therapy. Those suffering verbal abuse may attempt to seek help through counseling, treatment, and support from an extended network. However, neither abuser or abused call for assistance until the abuse has reached a dangerous level.

Do you have the slightest thought that you might are being abusive to someone or ar the target of abuse? If so, take a moment and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. talk it out with them. They have many different resources to help you.

You do not need to live this way. Life can and will be better if you start doing something about it today.

Stay inspired my friends!

A Little Rain

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet." ~ Roger Miller

There is an old song with a lyric that says "upon us all, a little rain must fall" within the body of a wonderful song. I find it to be a reminder that life happens to all of us.

How we choose to confront the rain is a reflection of how handle life.

My confession is that I love sleeping to the sound of rain. Whether it be a storm or gentle rain, it comforts me. My siblings will probably be shocked to read that. You see, growing up I was horribly afraid of storms, the pending doom of what might happen. You could say that I cowered under the umbrella, never wanting to feel the rain upon my face.

It is difficult living life that way. Always dreading the gathering clouds.

Yet I carried on, enjoying only the good days and trying to make the rainy ones disappear. My life then changed, which I talk about in my book Changed Lives.

I learned lessons that taught me to enjoy the rain as much as the sunshine. Someone entered my life that taught me the joy of walking through mud puddles. I learned never to waste a single day (sunshine or rain) in enjoying life.

As the quote above from American singer and songwriter Roger Miller says, "Some people walk in the rain..." I am one of those people today, walking in the rain. I am pushing forward through what life throws at me, knowing that the rain is good; knowing that the rain isn't here to make my life miserable.

For those who "...just get wet", you are missing out on the joy.

Don't throw away an opportunity. Don't throw away another day that can be truly enjoyed. Life is not going to be endless days of warm sunshine. Nor will it be endless days of rain and mud.

Enjoy each and every day for "...that is the mystery of the quotient - upon us all a little rain must fall."

Stay inspired my friends.

Shoot For The Moon

“If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.” - Confucious

When you dream.
When you develop a vision for your future.

Shoot for the moon.

Do not be limited by the everyday natural.
Be driven by your dreams and visions.

"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision."

Stay inspired my friends!

Two Wolves

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." ~ Kahlil Gibran

An old and wise Cherokee Indian is speaking to his grandson one day about a battle which goes on inside people.

He tells the boy, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves going on inside all of us.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

His grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old man simply replied, "The one you feed."

We each have the ability to choose a path to follow.

You might feel that the choice of paths is limited. But if you see it that way, you are missing the point. Your attitude is what determines the greatness (or pull you from the failure) of the path chosen.

Do not misunderstand what choosing a path means. If your choice is a destructive lifestyle, the consequences will soon overcome you. In example, it is unlikely a meth addict eventually enjoys having made the choice in the first place. Nor would a fading porn star, alcoholic or any one of a dozen things.

Bad choices, if that is what they are, can be overcome. You have the ability to change, to make new choices.

And when you find your life is not where you want it to be; complaint will not get remove you from the condition. In fact, the energy you exert in complaint will be wasted on the problem. It will keep you firmly stuck on that wrong path.

Choosing to take a more positive approach will allow you to divert your energy towards finding a better path. You will be more focused on what you can change in your life.

As the wise old man said, "the one you feed" will be the life you get. There are so many changed lives out there based upon this simple principle of life. Feed the positive nature of your life and let it grow to greater heights.

Stay inspired my friends!