Handling Stress

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” ― David Mamet

Maintaining a positive attitude all of the time, doing all the right things, trying to be the "do it all" person can leave you bewildered and wondering where all of your time went. Life and all we try to accomplish in such a short time can have frustrating effects. So how does one do a better job of managing your own time?

An article in Best Life Magazine, titled "Under Pressure" (before publication ended in 2009), the author talked about stress and the effect it has on your life. That article along with a side article by Kate Dailey called "Time Crunch: How to whittle down a too-much-to-do list", the following presents five quick ideas that you can apply in your life to help you.

Ask yourself the following questions to help prioritize your list in life.

DOES IT FIT INTO THE BIG PICTURE?
"The priorities that people set and what they actually do are often inconsistent," says Mark Ellwood, a productivity consultant in Toronto. "I hear men say 'My family comes first' all the time, but then they're working 70 hours a week." Ellwood uses this exercise with his clients to help ferret out what they really want: If you had a day at work with no e-mail to return, no phone calls to make, and no deadlines to meet, what would you do with your time? Some men would use it to plan the big project they want to launch. Some would brush up their skills by taking a seminar. Most would work on high-priority projects so they could go home early and hang out with their kids. These are the worthwhile objectives your schedule should accommodate most.

IS IT IMPORTANT OR JUST URGENT?
Tasks that need to be done right away, like fixing an overflowing toilet or compiling sales figures at the request of the boos, are urgent. Tasks that means a lot to you but don't necessarily have a time factor attached are important. "Rarely do the two go together," says Ellwood. "The urgent often wins out." The challenge is to make meaningful changes so that you spend substantial time on long-term goals rather than putting out fires all day.

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO THIS?

There are times when only your skill, wit, charm, or intellect will suffice. Those times are rare, and they're almost never meetings. "It's a good developmental tool to have subordinates represent you at meetings," says Barry Miller, Ph.D., an adjunct professor of management at Pace University, and the manager of alumni career programs and services. "They get to interface with higher-ups and learn on the job, and you free up your schedule."

DO I HAVE TO BE THERE IN PERSON?

Don't waste your time with a meeting when a well-placed phone call can do the trick. "Face time is important when you're building new relationships," says Miller, "but once you've established that relationship, the pressure is off." What's more important is giving people a sense that you're tuned in to their needs and you're thinking of them.

WILL IT COST ME IF I DON'T GO?

Also known as "Who will I piss off?" Your psychiatrist doesn't care if you're a no-show for your 4:30 session (He'll bill you $150 either way), but the cost of not attending the 5:00 cocktail party full of potential clients could be much, much higher. It follows, then, that skipping out of your son's birthday party after you promised him for months that you'd be there will cost you a fortune in emotional capital, not to mention some psych bills of his own down the line.

You can have a great life, you can see yourself through the stress life throws at us, you can be!

Stay inspired my friends!

Abuse is Abuse in Any Form

"... you don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future." ― Jane Green

Abuse comes in all forms and manners. It is any behavior designed to control and oppress another person through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation or other means. Most people would first think of abuse to be a physical assault upon another. This type of abuse is outward and very damaging. Bruises, broken bones and even worse; physical abuse is very destructive.

But there are other forms of abuse such as verbal or emotional abuse that are just as destructive.

Verbal abuse is the use of language to hurt someone, whether it is with conscious or unconscious intent. Emotional abuse is described by Beverly Engels “as any nonphysical behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate another person through the use of degradation, humiliation, or fear."

Two of the driving forces behind an abuser (consciously or not) is that of gaining dominance and control over someone else. And the types of emotional or verbal abuse happen more than one might think. The National Domestic Violence Hotline group indicates that nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively)

Maybe your wife automatically takes a viewpoint opposite yours and tells you that you are always wrong.

Maybe your husband points out your mistakes or calls you names.

Maybe you are always criticizing your child about one thing or another.

Over time, verbal attacks can and will destroy your identity and sense of self-worth.

The abuse might end if the abuser makes a personal commitment and willingness to change behavior with counseling and therapy. Those suffering verbal abuse may attempt to seek help through counseling, treatment, and support from an extended network. However, neither abuser or abused call for assistance until the abuse has reached a dangerous level.

Do you have the slightest thought that you might are being abusive to someone or ar the target of abuse? If so, take a moment and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. talk it out with them. They have many different resources to help you.

You do not need to live this way. Life can and will be better if you start doing something about it today.

Stay inspired my friends!

A Little Rain

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet." ~ Roger Miller

There is an old song with a lyric that says "upon us all, a little rain must fall" within the body of a wonderful song. I find it to be a reminder that life happens to all of us.

How we choose to confront the rain is a reflection of how handle life.

My confession is that I love sleeping to the sound of rain. Whether it be a storm or gentle rain, it comforts me. My siblings will probably be shocked to read that. You see, growing up I was horribly afraid of storms, the pending doom of what might happen. You could say that I cowered under the umbrella, never wanting to feel the rain upon my face.

It is difficult living life that way. Always dreading the gathering clouds.

Yet I carried on, enjoying only the good days and trying to make the rainy ones disappear. My life then changed, which I talk about in my book Changed Lives.

I learned lessons that taught me to enjoy the rain as much as the sunshine. Someone entered my life that taught me the joy of walking through mud puddles. I learned never to waste a single day (sunshine or rain) in enjoying life.

As the quote above from American singer and songwriter Roger Miller says, "Some people walk in the rain..." I am one of those people today, walking in the rain. I am pushing forward through what life throws at me, knowing that the rain is good; knowing that the rain isn't here to make my life miserable.

For those who "...just get wet", you are missing out on the joy.

Don't throw away an opportunity. Don't throw away another day that can be truly enjoyed. Life is not going to be endless days of warm sunshine. Nor will it be endless days of rain and mud.

Enjoy each and every day for "...that is the mystery of the quotient - upon us all a little rain must fall."

Stay inspired my friends.

Shoot For The Moon

“If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.” - Confucious

When you dream.
When you develop a vision for your future.

Shoot for the moon.

Do not be limited by the everyday natural.
Be driven by your dreams and visions.

"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision."

Stay inspired my friends!