Ride Of Your Life

"It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized." - Wayne Dyer

The news is full of chaos and trouble. There are problems reported in Iraq, oil prices up or down, violent storms, and a hundred other things cloud our minds. Sometimes it can certainly feel like the end times described by various religions is upon us.

Heck, it makes you wonder if the Mayans were being conservative in their dates!

Yes, tongue firmly planted in cheek at this point. But all of the mayhem can overload our senses and lives. It tends to pile up on top of what we are already going through in the normal part of our life. You can wonder endlessly about these things, spending the day in worry.

In the grand scheme of things, there isn't much you can do about these things outside of your control. You can't stop the fighting in Iraq, nor keep a cyclone from bearing down upon ac ountry. You can not stop those things anymore then people before us could prevent history from happening.

While it is overwhelming, life for you can not grind to a halt. You need to keep moving forward. You need to work on those things in your life that you do have control over. And what you have control over is your attitude.

Take the energy you are pouring into worry and direct it towards moving forward. Focus it on what you can do, on where you want to be, on your journey to a great life.

History is a roller coaster of events and occurrences.

Some parts are going to be thrilling, some parts scary, but it is the ride of your life.

Change your attitude and change your life.

And stay inspired my friends.

A Carpenter's Square

“This is part of what a family is about, not just love. It's knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work.” ― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

There is much to be said about family and what it can mean in our lives. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Some are idyllic while others are not quite so good. The problem is that being a part of a family is so important to our human nature.

All of us want to belong and be part of a caring and nurturing environment. We want a strong and protective father as well as a loving caring mother to heal our wounds. We want siblings who share a common bond with us.

We want family.

Some people have a pretty good and normal family life. Some people had unspeakable families in which they grew up in. And we are both a reflection of those family environments, but we do not have to be victims of either kind.

Normal is a word that comes from the Latin word normālis or made according to a carpenter's square. Everything varies from the perfect ninety degrees of this carpenter's square. The modern day definition is conforming to the standard or the common type.

Family is not perfect.

Of course not and yes, some can be downright horrible. But we need to learn from the good and bad of growing up in a family, whatever form of family it was, and improve upon it. To generationally make life better.

We will never be the perfection of Pleasantville of movie fame. Nor can we expect all things to work out as they did in the television show called The Brady Bunch.

We make family the best we can.

Every step we take in gathering our family together; parents, siblings, friends and strangers; all can come together and bond as a family unit. For better not worse, we come together as a family to protect and nurture each other. To belong to something so that we can more easily face things together and not alone.

We make family the best we can. Make your family the best it can be. It may not end up being a carpenter's square, but it will be more right than wrong. Just believe in goodness being part of a family can bring into your life.

Stay inspired my friends!

Family Financial Matters

"Beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship." - Benjamin Franklin

Every day of our lives, we hurry about working to provide and get ahead. We worry about our teenage children driving, the frightening drug use trying to lure them away and all of the possibilities of what could happen.

But, as article stated, "worry about what if something happens to you...what will happen to those around you?" You could be the most careful person around...buckling your seatbelt, eating right and exercising.

As an old saying goes, "stuff happens."

Financial experts estimate that nearly 70% of men have not taken the needed steps to secure their family's financial security. Heaven forbid you end up getting hit by a car or have an unfortunate accident.

It is natural as human beings not to think about dying. Heck, who wants to think about that stuff? But it is relatively easy to take steps to ensure some 'after-you' stability.

Steps you can take are;

1. Get yourself together - put together a document listing details of your finances, investments, bank account, insurance policies and any financial advisers. Then ask around for an attorney to draft a will for you.

2. Replace your salary - Employer-sponsored life insurance policies will normally cover two times your annual salary. This is much less than your family needs. So buy a term life insurance policy to cover you until the kids have graduated and moved away. From that point on, the kids are less dependent upon you. Notice I didn't say they are totally independent.

3. Pay your family, not Uncle Sam - When you die and leave everything to your wife, your children lose something many of us didn't know we had: a $2 million exemption from the estate tax. Upon your wife's death, your kids benefit from her $2 million exemption, but yours would be lost. For your kids to get the combined $4 million exemption, the attorney can set up a credit shelter. Transfer $2 million in assets (or up to this amount as all of us do not necessarily have that much) into the trust, including your house and enable your wife to access the funds, but name your kids the beneficiaries upon her death. What happens is eventually the kids will inherit your $2 million and her $2 million...all estate tax free.

4. Protect your legacy - Remember to update and keep updated all beneficiary forms for 401(k)s, IRAs and other retirement accounts as these override your will. Just make sure they are current. Ensure that your will includes instructions including specific instructions about how your assets should be handled.

5. Hire your replacement - When you and your wife are traveling, there is the underlying thought that, "what if the plane goes down?" Assign the jobs of executor and guardian to different people. Divide the power by giving control of your kid's inheritance to one person while someone else takes them in. "The best person to raise your kids may not be the best one to handle finances," says Lisa Osofsky, a tax advisor in New York. Think of things like, what if the guardians divorce? Name one person in a couple as the guardian...and name backups.

There are many things to think of, many not the most pleasant, but necessary to leave a legacy for your family. Do what you can to prepare. Your family will thank your memory for it.

Stay inspired my friends.

Fool Me Once

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." - Folk Wisdom

From the pages of The Nun's Priest's Tale, part of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, can hold lessons for us in modern day life. It is a story of a group embarked upon a pilgrimage and amuse themselves by sharing stories. These stories provide each other with lessons learned by each of them.

Shared knowledge in the form of storytelling, an age old human connection.

The story told is one of a vain rooster named Chanticleer and a sly fox that is similar to fables told by Aesop in the sixth century. Chanticleer is known by the many hens to be intelligent, charismatic, and manly. One day he is sitting and has a horrifying dream of a beast killing him.

A while later he finds a fox stalking him and through sly flattery, the fox tricks Chanticleer into trusting him. It was then in a flash of vulnerability, Chanticleer is carried off by the fox, swallowed whole.

Danger strikes when our vanity closes our eyes.

The fox is chased around by the humans and from within Chanticleer convinces the fox to taunt them. When the fox opens his mouth, Chanticleer escapes. In dismay, the fox attempts to sway him back closer.

He says, “Oh Chanticleer, I am so sorry! I must have scared you when I grabbed you and brought you out of the yard. But sir, I wasn’t going to hurt you. Come on down and let me explain. I promise I’ll tell you the truth, so help me God.”

Fanciful promises and deception meant to sway us again.

“No way,” Chanticleer replied. “Fool me once, shame on you—but fool me twice, shame on me! You’re not going to trick me again and get me to close my eyes and sing with your flattery."

Yes, we can each fall to our human weakness of arrogance and susceptibility to flattery. We fall prey to distractions, taking our eyes off the task at hand. The applause of a job well done and the ensuing swagger provides just enough time for hard lessons to occur.

After our experience with the fox, we can learn and not be twice fooled. There is no shame in learning the lesson for life is a collection of earned experiences. Use those experiences to live a life filled with fewer sly foxes.

Stay inspired my friends.