Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Self Acceptance

Self Acceptance - embrace all that you are, who you are and what you are.

Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
- J. Donald Walters

All of this means that we value ourselves as we are, with all our weaknesses and strengths and regardless of them. Doing so will free yourself to live, to enjoy and grow in spite of the many different frustrations and crises that occur in life.

That being said, it does not mean we should not be setting goals for ourselves. We need to continue to aim for something better than what we are already experiencing. In an article by Steve Pavlina he makes a good point, "now you have to decide how much you want to push things to improve in quality as you progress through life. You can accept your current position as adequate and opt to simply maintain it, or you can strive to achieve something greater."

It is your decision on where you take your life. By accepting who and what you are will enable you to figure out where you want to take your life. Until you do so, it will be very difficult to figure out how to make change. It will also give you piece of mind to make those decisions. Believe in yourself, accept who you are and then position yourself for change.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Self Empowerment

Self Empowerment - have the desire to see others succeed because life isn't just about you.

"Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need." - Gillian Anderson

Self-empowerment is the process of taking responsibility for your attitudes, behaviors and actions will work to maximize your effectiveness in all that you do. When you do this, you understand that life isn't just about you.

The definition as expressed in 'YourDictionary.com' describes it as;

1. To invest with power, especially legal power or official authority.
2. To equip or supply with an ability; enable: "Computers ... empower students to become intellectual explorers" (Edward B. Fiske).

The interesting thing about this is the note they provide with the definition. "Although it is a contemporary buzzword, the word empower is not new, having arisen in the mid-17th century with the legalistic meaning "to invest with authority, authorize." Shortly thereafter it began to be used with an infinitive in a more general way meaning "to enable or permit."

How I use the term in this article is to express that by taking responsibility for your attitudes, behaviors and actions will give you a better perspective on how your life impacts those around you. By acknowledging this, you will go out of your way to see others succeed.

I am sure there will be those that disagree with my use of the term 'self-empowerment' as I've read varying opinions on what it means. Most agree that it means understanding that you have the ability or control over your own life. My belief is that in understanding you have authority over that which you do will place you in a position to help others.

Your life is in control and the success of others should not come as a threat to you. You will be able to take joy in the accomplishment of others, without jealousy and with respect for them.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Self Improvement

Self Improvement - there is always room to improve, always challenge yourself.

Self-improvement is the name of the game, and your primary objective is to strengthen yourself, not to destroy an opponent.” - Maxwell Maltz

A person goes to college to learn a skill which will allow them to get a good job, be successful and make lots of money. This provides them with security and the ability to have a great life. It also gives them additional ability to help others. There is nothing in what I just said which says they gain in order to 'destroy' others.

Working on improving yourself isn't just about going to school, it is about improving yourself in three ways. There may be more but these three are ones I consider important.

One - improve your mind. Learn something new or different each day. Our brain is capable of so much and the more one learns, the more information we have to make better informed decisions. This is one reason older people are said to give sage advice. Now sage can mean a suffriticose labiate plant with grayish green foliage, much used in flavoring meats, etc.

But for our purpose it means, having nice discernment and powers of judging. Back to my point, the older we get, the more information we have to draw from when making decisions. Learn something new or different each day.

Two - improve your body. Walk around the block at least once a day or use the stairs. At my age I feel like I am simply trying to hang on to what I have. Staying healthy has advantages in both keeping your mind healthy, your body healthy and your bank account healthy. An example of this is provided by Fidelity Investments. I could show what doctors say, but let us look at where it effects us most, in our banking accounts.

An article by Fidelity says, "staying healthy is one of the simplest and most cost-effective ways to avoid unnecessary healthcare expenses. Getting the most for your healthcare dollars can be as simple as making a plan to eat right, maintaining an appropriate weight level, and exercising at least 30 minutes daily. By following a simple diet and exercise plan, you'll reduce your likelihood of developing certain diseases and illnesses, and you'll potentially avoid the cost of unnecessary medical visits." So walk around the block at least once a day or use the stairs.

Three - improve your spirit. Build a more positive view of yourself and life around you. A cardiologist, Meyer Friedman talked about your personality type and its effect on you. "The impatience, hostility and all-consuming drive for results that typify Type-A men and women, produces a one-dimensional personality, one with a profound and deadly absence of spiritual life. By "spiritual" he doesn't mean certain beliefs or religious tenets but a basic concern with human relations and other interests that enrich life. Without this spirituality, changing diet and exercise habits to lower cholesterol levels and improve health overall isn't enough to protect a Type A's heart."

Basically, with a renewed spirit you can face difficulty in life much better. It doesn't mean you won't have anguish or pain, just a better means of facing it. It means improving your attitude about things, about life and about others. Build a more positive view of yourself and life around you.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Self Significance

Self Significance - you do matter in this life, the contribution you make in life is real.

To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.” - Joan Didion

In psychology, self-esteem or self-significance is a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. How you see yourself as being an important part of the world around you becomes an integral part of who you are. If you feel that you are insignificant or non-contributing, then opportunity in life will pass you by.

Yet knowing that you touch many people in large and small ways has to be understood. The store is abound that give examples. Think of the Christmas classic, Its A Wonderful Life and all of the lessons one can learn from it. Many people would scoff at the ideas presented in it, but I can't think of a more simple way of explaining to you that you do mean something to this life.

When we leave this life, there will be people that carry on bits and pieces of your legacy. Your life has part in shaping the lives of others and life in general. You may not have noteriety of a Mahatma Ghandi or Abraham Lincoln, but your life does matter, your life impacts.

So understand and believe in yourself, in your significance to life around you. Those close to you know of your significance as do those that you cross paths with in daily life.