No More All Fools Day

Foolish Questions #36

"There comes a morning in life when you wake up a new person; that is to say, you wake up the same person but you realize it's your own fault." ~Robert Brault

Here it is the first of April, well known as April Fools Day. Did it come from a copying error of the manuscript for Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in 1392? Did it come from the tale of Londoners being tricked into going to the Tower of London to see the Lions washed in 1698? Or maybe all of us have been fooled over and over these many years into believing it had something to do with anything at all.

Interestingly enough, we do have that ability which allows us to fool ourselves into believing what isn't true. In other words, we can get good at pushing the truth into darkness and living what isn't true. This type of self-deception can be partly explained by what psychologists call "confirmation bias" and also referred to as Morton's Demon.

Morton's Demon was a thought experiment created by the Scottish physicist James Clerk Maxwell. A hypothetical demon sits at the gate of our mind and if and when he sees supportive evidence coming in, he opens the gate. But if he sees contradictory information coming, he closes the gate. In this way, the demon allows us to believe we are right and avoid any of the contradictory information.

Dr. Stephen Diamond writes, "Consider the ordinary example of some heated conflict with a spouse, lover, relative or close friend. How is it that after the fact, each participant can have a completely contradictory version of what happened? Objectively speaking, first A happened, then B occurred, then C was said, D followed, etc. But what if the objective facts or our own behavior don't comport well with how we see ourselves? We distort the facts to support our particular point of view and to sustain our beliefs about the kind of person we are or want to be."

But enough with the medical terminology and explanations. We simply have the ability to fool ourselves. We fool ourselves so much we forget whom we really are at its worst.

Look in the mirror again today and rediscover who you really are. Find the real you inside. Robert Brault also said, "Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again."

Do not let that person slip by without getting to know him/her. Know yourself and let the greatness of you come to the surface.

Believe It

"We are what we believe we are." -C. S. Lewis

It can be hard, really hard, to believe in yourself and in the greatness of your life. Life has a pretty nasty way of throwing circumstance and events at you. Just when things seem to be going pretty good, you stumble on a rock or the rain washes away your bridge.

Things happen and holding onto belief can be downright impossible at times. But something is only impossible if that is what you believe in. If you believe you will never succeed, you won't. If you believe you will never achieve what you want in life, you won't.

Try turning that belief into something good for your life. Believe in you and your dreams. Believe that you will get that new job. Believe that you will lose those 20 pounds of weight.

Believe that you can and you will.

Quiet Good

"You don't have to know somebody to do good for somebody."
-Mennonite Woman

I was watching a nightly news story about Mennonite's from Central Pennsylvania that went to Diamond, Louisiana to assist those still recovering from Hurricane Katrina. They are rebuilding homes for many folks, which in turn is helping rebuild lives. All without payment, all without banners and celebrations. Quietly going about doing something good.

It is something that happens more often than you might think. There are individuals doing good things quietly. Many times people are helping those they know from family, church or work. Maybe a friend or other person through your child's school are being attended to. People helping other people within the community.

But as the unknown Mennonite woman said, "you don't have to know somebody to do good for somebody." It is giving for your fellow human being. It is helping out someone in need. It is doing all of this for the sole purpose of just doing good.

So many people have their stories of doing something for another; quietly and without trumpets and horns heralding their deed. If you would like to anonymously share your story, let me know. Send me a private email to josephprimm@bellsouth.net and I'll share the stories with others.

When No One Is Watching

DigitEL - Shadow Tree

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." -Abraham Lincoln

I was, putting it in a very uncool phrase,"surfing the web" for information on the subject of this article. Normally I pick a subject and then look for an accomodating quote. Today things happened a little backwards.

As I was "surfing the net" (much cooler phrase), I happened upon the above image created by DigitEL. The illusion of the tree's shadow on the hedges caught me right away. It really made me think of how we project an image to others but the real us is revealed when no one is watching.

The quote happened to follow pretty quickly, sort of a serendipitous discovery. I get lucky that way when writing some days. Things just come together. It works well as I like to write in private, quietly and all alone. All of this I do when no one is watching.

As you conduct the business of the day, the nice suit and tie exuding confidence. Your smile and friendly aura fills the office and lives of others. But what happens when you go home, in the privacy of home with your spouse and children. Do they get that same attention and care. What happens when no one is watching.

You might ask if we all need perfection? I wish we could but we should try to strive for it. The person we are in public should be the same person we are in private as best we can. The stress of the day can mount and tire you until you come home and it all releases when no one is watching.

But guess what, your kids are watching. Your wife is watching. The neighbors at the very least can hear it. More importantly, you can see it yourself. Look in the mirror to see whom is the real you when no one is watching.

I try to apply all that I write. I try to be the person both in private and publicly that these words encourage you to be. I know that others are watching me. I know that my family is watching. I know that I strive to be a better person even when no one else is watching.

We can live the two lives of a tree and its shadow, or we can be the rock solid tree with our one identity. Like the tree, we will go through our seasons of wonderful color, the loss and the budding new green of life.

But those things will be the real us and not a shadowing attempt at something which isn't. We will always be that tall and strong oak tree, even when no one is watching.