Treat with Decency

"It is a good idea to be ambitious, to have goals, to want to be good at what you do, but it is a terrible mistake to let drive and ambition get in the way of treating people with kindness and decency." -Unknown

Some times it surprises me that one would ever have to even write about this topic. What I am referring to is the mere idea of just being decent when dealing with other people.

Recently an administrative person was downsized at my office. I really hate that term to begin with. That term and others such as "excess reduction", "rightsizing", "delayering", "smartsizing", "redeployment", "workforce reduction", "workforce optimization", "simplification", "force shaping", "recussion", and "reduction in force" are all indirect terms for being told your services are no longer needed.

This person wasn't laid off for any bad reason. She was simply caught in the numbers game of needed employees. So after 20 some years of employment, she was gone, asked to fill a box and leave the building.

The act of someone getting laid off happens almost everyday for a wide variety of reasons. It is nothing new and it will be something that goes on well beyond my short article. What can change is how we lay off people. This lady was well respected by co-workers and was a very loyal employee in all of her years. But she was treated poorly and without much respect. The 'corporate policy guidelines' allowed for a very indecent removal.

I don't wish to complain about this particular circumstance. It is unfortunate and the way it was handled reflects poorly on a company I work for and admire. What I am here to say to you and everyone else that can hear me, "just be decent in how you treat others."

It is a pretty simple idea to live by. It can make a world of difference not only for the other person, but for you as well. It reflects poorly on you when you treat people badly. It reflects poorly, plain and simple.

We all have to learn and teach ourselves this idea. I try to be decent to all those I come in contact with. It doesn't always work out that way and I try to do better the next time.

So can you, in every encounter, every situation, every day; treat others with decency. You know you would want the same in return.

The Iceberg

"Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity. Successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something. Soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results." -William James

In the movie, A Bronx Tale, the kid, Calogero 'C' Anello, makes a statement near the end in which he says, "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever." The ability to do or be any thing you want in life is a lesson sometimes learned much later then early.

Do not fool yourself into believing you have no abilities to achieve great things. There is quite a bit inside each of us, inside of you, that given the right frame of mind can propel you to greater heights. It all happens with a huge positive attitude inside.

Think of the iceberg floating out in the large open sea. The area above the water may appear small with only enough capacity to carry a few seals. Aimlessly it drifts with the ocean currents, ships avoiding contact where possible. But underneath the iceberg is an immense structure of ice that goes mostly undetected.

That huge area underneath is your attitude. It can be a negative one or a positive one. Its your choice on what its going to be. A negative attitude will keep you floating aimlessly, never achieving much of anything in life. A positive attitude will propel your abilities to greatness.

We always tend to under estimate the power of our attitude. It can be the difference between languishing in an unsatisfying job position and having a very fullfilling work life. It can be the difference between being lonely forever after a divorce to finding a new life filled with love and happiness.

It can be the difference in everything.

You Can Pretend

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." -Helen Keller

Simply put, you can put yourself alone out on the edge of a cliff and wait. You can sit there hoping that the world will fill in before you. It is a very lonely existence to be there on your own, no connections, and no one to keep you from falling over the edge.

It is connection to others which is a key thing here. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines connection as, "the act of connecting, the state of being connected, as a casual or logical relation or sequence (the connection between two ideas); a person connected with another especially by marriage, kinship, or common interest."

So it takes two or more people for this connection to occur. To stand out on a ledge and hope someone will grab hold will require a connection. To have a friendship with anyone or anything will require a connection. To live your best life will require a connection.

But how do connections become established? Do they just happen? Do they magically appear between two people?

No, connection requires at the very least one person making an effort to connect. The other person needs to respond and reciprocate to complete this joining of two people. The problem is that many times neither side is willing to put their hand out first.

Standing on the edge of being alone, you have to turn and face away from that edge. You have to be willing to look to where others are standing. We know from the laws of physics that people are not floating out in mid-air. So we have to turn and reach out to where others are.

Those of us standing back away from that edge have to be responsible for making the connection also. We can tell ourselves "no way, that person is much too close to the edge. I'm not going out there." But as Dr. Gordon Moore has said, "You can pretend to care but you can't pretend to show up." Going out to that ledge to connect with someone whom is paralyzed by the edge is just as important.

All of us can use connection in our life. Whether it be with one person or many, it helps us live a great life. It brings meaning and purpose in to our daily existence.

You can be lonely and pretend not to want anyone else in your life. But down deep it is connection that we all desire.

You can pretend to care about those living out on the edge. But until you reach out and make the connection, it is just words.

Connect with someone today, be it the first time or the one hundreth time.

Crayon Life

"Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up." ~Allen Klein

All it takes is a single cloudy day and the color of life seems to fade away. The greyness of the day simply takes over and it takes over our attitude. It is an odd thing but then the sun comes out and the light reflects wondrous colors.

The sparkling green of the grass or the deep blue of the sky, each does something to us. The red of the roses and the yellow pine pollen seem to jump out and grab hold of us. Colors that we had forgotten about in one day reclaim our attention.

The changing weather is almost like our ever changing lives. The ups and downs of circumstance that enter and exit our world. The dullness of the day replaced by joy and excitement the next. It is an ever shifting pattern that can frustrate you endlessly.

But if you always try to look at the goodness of the grey sky. The rain that follows that dampens the ground. There is something positive to be gained from those times. The rain feeds the ground which nourishes the flowers. The trees draw from it and the cooling shadow of the clouds gives retreat from the warm sun.

These days in our life will and are followed by the shining sun. We do come out of the greyness. We do get to stand again in the warm light of the day. The colors of our world return to fill our life.

Never despair, never give up; never allow the yourself to use only the grey colored crayon. Use all of the colorful crayons you have been given and brighten even the cloudiest day. Color your life with magical wonder to share with those around you.