Childish Examples

"We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching." -Roy L. Smith

Recently I was talking to my wife about the parenting program she runs. It is a small endeavor at this point, but it is impacting families one at a time. Her program is to help families struggling to use the right skills for communication and dealing with all those things that happen as parents.

I was listening to her passion for what it does for these families. To see things get turned around when someone learns new skills is wonderful. These parenting classes make a difference and probably would have served me well when I was a very young father.

One of the things she teaches upon is how children learn by example. Sitting here writing about it seems like a 'no-brainer' bit of knowledge. But we have seen so many times how a child will mimic a parent.

If a parent walks around with a cell phone chatting away, you will find a young daughter or son play-acting the same way. Now take that parent gossiping, complaining, or talking badly on the phone; the child learns the same by watching.

If a parent is driving down the rode with children in the back, a driver cuts them off in traffic. Without thinking, a parent will raise a finger and shout a curse or few chosen words. A child in the back sees and processes this information.

If a parent, if a parent, if a parent; the examples can go on and on. We all learn many times by example. But none as much as a child. You, the parent, are their hero, their guidance, their link to knowing all that exists. Sounds like a pretty heavy responsibility doesn't it? It is and you must treat it as such.

The childish examples we portray from time to time are in fact, pretty childish. You may think your children sit quietly (or not) in the back ground ignoring you. What you must realize is that they are actually being pretty attentive to your every action and word.

If a parent wants to give their child or children a great gift, then give them great examples to see. Leave behind childish examples and give them wonderful examples to live by. Give them examples of love. Give them examples of healthy living. Give them your best.

Music Changes

SMELLY DOG MUSIC

"Music can change the world because it can change people." -Bono

How big is music in your life? Do you tap your toes to the beat of some favorite band? Is there a tune playing in your mind at the present time? Are the songs you hear saying something to you?

I am sure we have all experienced at one time or another the power music had on us. A song that moved you to tears or lifted you in joyful praise of life. The variations that exist are as diverse as there are humans. In fact music can come from nature itself.

The rustling of tree leaves, a babbling brook or playful chirping of a bird. There is a cadence to most everything that goes on around us. Music exists in most every part of life; that is if we listen for it.

Music can also move us to do something great, it can move us to love, it can move us to do far greater things in our life. The sweet sound that tells us we can do more. The melodic rhythm that carrys us to a far better life.

Let the music change you. Let the music carry you to greatness. Listen to the music and see how it can change your life. Then take your song and go change the world. Make it a better place with the sounds you make, with the toe tapping greatness of your own life.

Daily Men

"Nothing just happens for you as a husband and a dad; You have to work at it. Live on purpose." -Paul Louis Cole

There was a time in my life when I had it all figured out. I was young, in college, and making great strides personally and educationally. The farm where I grew up was beginning to recede from my life. It was a wide open plain where my dreams and plans were going to unfold in succession.

I met someone, we had a child and those plans began to divert in another direction. But there was no one, parents, friends or family that I would let interfere. For I had it all planned out, a new child, a marriage and need for work would not stand in the way of my plans.

I knew that all I had to do was keep moving forward with my plans. The marriage, the child, the work would all fall in lock step behind me. For my plans were mine and nothing could change that indisputable fact. Being a husband and father would simply happen.

I struggled to keep my plans out in front of the real purpose. Again, I fought to keep my plans out in front what the real purpose was. I denied that my plans were not the real purpose.

Much like the plate spinner one might see on the Ed Sullivan Show from so many years ago, it was a wondrous sight to see all of those plates spinning. If you watched closely, the artist would be running wildly from one end to other.

Some plates would begin to wobble if he paid too much attention to only one or two plates. I paid too much attention to one or two plates, my plans and my job. As you can imagine the other plates began to lack attention and fell, crashing into broken pieces upon the floor. As you try to catch the plates before they fall, your plans will also tip and nothing survives at that point.

We are left then with broken pieces of plates upon the floor. Some may believe it is useless to try. As men, we may try to walk away and leave others to clean up the mess. But as a man, you have purpose in your life and that is to pick up the pieces that matter. You take those pieces and put them back together again.

What you will find in picking up the pieces, the ones that matter, the real purpose is what you have put back together. You will be a better husband and a better father. What you will be is a better man.

TGIF

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." -Marianne Williamson

Today is Friday, the last day of what is normally the work week. I know there are many that have other schedules and rotating days, but traditionally Friday is the end of the work week. The thoughts are beginning to boil up towards a cheer of T.G.I.F.

Everyone is laser focused on the weekend. Not surprisingly Friday was found to be the least productive. Tuesday came in as the most productive work day according to an old survey by Menlo Park-based Accountemps. Then again, someone got paid to conduct a survey to verify what all of us pretty much knew already.

What interests me is the focus we can attain if it is something we really want. Think about it, unlikely is your focus on hoping Monday comes quickly so that you can get back to work. Your focus is on enjoying your family, friends and relaxing through the weekend.

Also think back to when you first fell in love. You had a huge focus on the person of your desires. That lovely person that has such a wonderful smile who lights up the room when they enter. You had such a clear focus on what you wanted in life.

Then life steps in and clouds your vision, makes changes that distract you from all that is important. So we fall into the "9 to 5" mentality and shorten or focus to only Friday and the weekend.

What if we were able to refocus on longer term goals? What if we used that focus to pursue our dreams, our goals and visions? You know it exists out there just beyond the coming weekend.

All you need to do is direct your focus on what is important for your life. Share your focus with others and together we can turn T.G.I.F from "Thank God its Friday" into "Thank God I'm Focusing."