The Fedora Hat

"And all your future lies beneath your hat." -John Oldham

He stood there, a man standing on the gravel drive way. He was near the house about half-way down towards the country road. I remember him as being tall and statuesque in his pressed pants and starched white shirt. The top button of his shirt was undone with no tie, the sleeves partly rolled up. His round wire-rim glasses reflected the afternoon sun as he smiled his wide smile towards me.

What I remember most is the fedora hat that covered his mostly bald head. It was probaby an attempt to keep his Irish skin from turning red. But he lifted his hat and waved to me. A gesture that seemed so comforting to me. A gesture that I believed was meant only for me, his grandson.

I was only five years-old at the time. As I stood in the open door-way of the corn crib, it seemed I had known Grandpa Gale for a lifetime. I guess I had known him for all of my five years, but it seemed much longer. And now the wave of his hat seemed to say it would soon be over.

Soon Grandma and Grandpa would be moving to California. It would be quite a bit of time before I would see them again. So this final wave seemed to be telling me everything I needed to know. All that would guide me in life was in the wave of the hat, telling me everything would be fine.

It is an image that I can recall clearly in my mind to this very day. At the time so many years ago, I am sure the full impact was furthest from my mind. But as I recall the day, the moment, the image, I fully know that Grandpa was giving me his final bit of advice. A year later he would die in that far away place called California. A heart attack would take him from so many. Death would replace him with memories.

As I look back and recall that day, I am sure that regardless of what happens to me, everything will be okay. The wave of his hat telling me everything would be okay. It is an image he left for me, that I can go back and remind myself that yes, everything will be okay.

When even the cruelest of life's circumstance enters your day, think of Grandpa Gale and the wave of his hat. A smile given to tell you that things will get better; that life for you will be okay. Grandpa would want it that way not only for me, but for you as well.

Making Lemonade

"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." -Theodore Roosevelt

From Reuters News Service, a story about what NOT to do when life gives you lemons.

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Friday, 22 July 2011 10:18

CONWAY, Mass (Reuters) – A man angry that a car dealership refused to take back a "lemon" van he had purchased, intentionally crashed it into seven parked vehicles, police said on Thursday.

The dispute began when David Cross, 42, of Salisbury, Massachusetts, and his wife on Monday bought a van at the Portsmouth Used Car Superstore, in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, said Portsmouth Police Lieutenant Russell Russo.

Cross told police that his mechanic quickly found a variety of problems with the van and advised him to return it to the dealer. But the business declined to take back what Cross said was a "lemon", Russo told Reuters.

After the dealership closed on Tuesday, Cross returned at midnight and used his van to smash into seven vehicles on the dealer's lot, including a Mercedes C300 and a Ford Mustang, causing damage initially estimated at $20,000, police said.

"He damaged each one, and then he left his van that he bought behind," Russo said.

He then crossed the street to where a police cruiser happened to be parked and reported the incident, leading an officer back to the wrecks.

After his arrest, Cross was charged with seven counts of criminal mischief, a felony due to the damage amount, Russo said.

Cross was released on personal recognizance and was scheduled to be arraigned September 19 in Portsmouth District Court, police said.

The Massachusetts Office of Consumer Affairs and Business Regulation on Thursday suggested that individuals who believe they have bought a lemon call its hotline for help.
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I found this story amusing and enlightening at the same time. Here was a fellow that was likely frustrated to his wit's end. It is is very possible he had tried to reason with the car dealership. Maybe the car dealership had tried to reason with him. But somewhere along the way, things went horribly askew in their communication.

Life is pretty sneaky in matters such as this. You are travelling along happy and content. You walk in to purchase a vehicle and life throws you a lemon. You probably think the next thing one might say is, "then make lemonade." Pretty hard to do when the juice is in your eye and you have no water, ice, sugar or jug to put it in.

What you can do is slow down and think about what you have. You can take the seed of the lemon and plant a lemon tree. You can change the circumstance by rational thinking. You can change the atmosphere by changing your attitude. You can change things.

Sometimes we don't always slow down and think before acting. Maybe we do slow down and still choose the irrational act. If we do, then we need to own up to the choices we make. The fellow in the above article did just that. An irrational act and then turned himself in immediately to law enforcement officials. He owned up to what he had done, he probably felt good and I give him points for that action.

The hangover effect of his actions will be painful going forward. The only person he really hurt was himself and those close to him. The car dealership 'might' be startled enough to change their business practices. But in the end, only 'self' will be hurt.

So take the opportunity before doing something irrational to think it through. You could make lemonade but that is only a short term solution. Take the seeds and plant a tree that will provide lemonade for a long time to come.

Its a long journey we are on and its going to take a lot of lemonade to keep you refreshed. Its your choice, its up to you, its your journey, so keep moving onward.

Why Oslo

"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am." -Joseph Baretti, quoted by James Boswell, 1766

Giuseppe Marc'Antonio Baretti, an Italian-born writer born at Turin whom was to be a lawyer if his father had his way. But Joseph, as he became known during his years in England, would become a literary critic and author of two influential language-translation dictionaries.

While in England, he was assaulted on the street and he stabbed the assailant with a fruit knife he carried. This would be common to the idea of carrying a pocket knife today. The assailant died and Baretti was tried for murder, but acquitted; several people of renown giving testimony in his defense.

During the time, many people jumped to a conclusion of Joseph's brutal attack upon the murdered man. The uproar of the public over this Italian born man forced the hand of local law enforcement. He was guilty of being different and without the facts. Those facts were of course brought up eventually and he was acquitted of the crime.

We now jump forward nearly 250 years to Oslo, Norway. An attack, brutal in nature takes place and people immediately begin to point fingers. Given the nature of the attack, people immediately view it as an attack by a radical Muslim group. It had to be the extremist Islamists picking soft targets. Whom else could it be but them?

I would dare to say that all the world is slightly jaded due to the terrorism and threats for nearly ten plus years. But this wasn't an Islamist "death to the infidels" group. No, in-deed this was very reminiscent of the Timothy McVeigh bombing in Oklahoma City. I really dislike even giving credit or mention to McVeigh, but there it is.

Now we have Anders Behring Breivik standing accused of a twisted idea of hatred for Islamist ideas and terrorism. An odd way to hate terrorism with a terroristic act upon people. It is purely an act of violence against humanity, against innocent people. But our first conclusion was to blame the Islamic terrorists and they win the mind game this time.

We have to understand that most people of all faiths, cultures and places are pretty decent folks. They are trying to live a great life. They want the same things you and I want; food, shelter, clothing, love, peace, and children to carry on their legacy. And terrorism plays to the worst of human characteristics. It plays to our worst fears.

We have to fight terrorism not only with strength, but also with kindness. Kindness for the hearts and minds of those that terrorism chooses to recruit. We won't succeed by waging it at their level. As the American cartoon Dilbert says, "Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then best you with experience." I contend if we lower ourselves to the level of terrorists, they will win that battle.

We need to keep the level higher and as I stated before, fight terrorism with strength where it occurs. But fight for the minds and hearts of everyone else. Let us not allow mob rule to take over our minds and actions. When chaos becomes the course of action, evil wins.

This is not the Pollyanna Principle but does take a positive route to confronting the negative. If we fight negativity with negativity, what are we left with? We are left only with negativity. A no-win result in my mind.

Life will continue to throw the extreme views of both ends of the spectrum at us. If we choose to live at either end we are doomed as humans. If we choose to find common ground and sanity in all of the noise, then life can be pretty great for all of us.

Looking Back To Today

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." -Mark Twain

Recently a friend posted a few pictures of our college days on Facebook. He, myself and several other folks spent a couple of years together at Peru State College in Nebraska. A diverse lot of fellows that somehow seemed to put most differences aside and had a really great time.

Seeing the pictures started pulling on my strings of reminiscence. So off to the attic to pull out the worn pages and pictures of days gone by. Let me tell you it was a wonderful journey back in time. It was a view back that made me wonder how I had made it this far. It was also a view that explained exactly how I reached this wonderful point in life.

As I looked through the pages of old newspapers and pictures, I felt the ground beneath my feet. The path I was creating came from mistakes, success, boredom, shear terror and blind boldness. The cobblestones were laid out in front of me with friends and family. The journey was given to me by my faith.

It is easy to look at our life today and wonder if we made the right choices. It becomes easy to doubt what we did. But if you look back at the proving grounds of your past, you may find that life was simply teaching you how to live.

I remember the time shown in the picture above. We were young and ambitious College Student Activity Council kids. One of the hot regional bands was a group called Cricket. They had the greatest sound and energy one could expect and we had them for an early school year performance. An outdoor concert that requires all of the crazy logistics one could imagine. I'm not sure I even got to enjoy it and how a bunch of 19-year old kids pulled it off is beyond me.

So yes, you look back and wonder at how mad we were. But the mystery of whom we are now begins to disappear. We were simply trying to figure out our lives and learning about life along the way. Those experiences have brought us to where we are today. And I am happy for having gone through all of it.

It also excites me for what the next fifty years will bring. What will I look back to and see how the road was built. Will you look back and marvel at your own journey? Of course you will. Once you do, then look forward and envision the road you will take. That road is yours to take.

There is greatness to your life that makes all you have gone through well worth it. There is greatness to come in your life for you to pursue.