Frustration Matters

"I was an accomplice in my own frustration." -Peter Shaffer

Oh boy, I was ready to bring the wrath of letters and phone calls down upon the computer company. A delay by their order processing department created a situation that I had never encountered before. It created a situation that would cost me extra money and time.

Would the company try to make amends in some fashion? Would they truly try to make it right? Alas that was not going to happen. The person I had on the line was in a different department and I would have to contact another department to discuss it.

The veins on my neck were likely bulging slightly and I would admit I most likely raised my voice a bit. The frustration was growing quickly. It seemed very much as if I were trying to get out of a building but every hallway was a deadend. You know what I am talking about, that feeling of lost control over the situation.

Even a motivational writer such as myself can get pulled into these moments. It is easy for anyone to fall into the trap of frustration. The outcome is pretty much determined by how you respond though.

I could feel myself growing angry and other might get emotional or desperate. It could have gotten down right ugly but I stepped back and started to breath. I took those minutes of being "on-hold" to calm myself down, to take back control of my own emotions. It was not the person on the other end of the phone but the situation we were both in. It was a stalemate and nothing good was going to come from an extended debate.

So I resolved my situation and found the peace inside that I was going to need to move on. Was the resolution of the issue satisfactory? No it wasn't but I evaluated just how much it was worth to my own sanity to let it become a huge deal in my life. In the end it wasn't worth the aggravation and energy. In the end I decided to just move on from it.

You have to make those decisions as well. Is it worth the fight, the anger, or the pain? I would say that it is not worth it. You have so much more to do in life and getting held up by the frustration that is bound to come along is not worth the time spent. That time is better spent getting to where you want to be in life.

Frustration is out there, somewhere, waiting for you to come along. How you deal with it is up to you. How you come out of it on the other side is up to you. It is better to just get past it and onto something greater. And that something greater is your life.

Pile of Excuses

"An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame." -Bo Bennett

There it is, the big rock in the middle of the road. It looks large and imposing on the road we are taking to our future. What more could go wrong? How will I get to the other side? Maybe I should just stop here and give up.

There it is, the big excuse keeping us from succeeding. It seems large and imposing in our mind keeping us from moving forward. What more could go wrong? How will I get beyond the problem? Maybe I should just stop here and give up.

Each of us develops excuses that prevent us from achieving success. We allow the small pebbles in our path to become large boulders. When confronted with a challenge, we view it as insurmountable. We do so by coming up with excuses, more excuses and even more excuses.

Instead of allowing the excuses to build a wall in our life, use your energy to find a way past the challenge. Turn those excuses into solutions and keep moving forward.

What is that Noise?

All was silent as before -
All silent save the dripping rain.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I have a regular hotel that I stay in while visiting our corporate offices in Boston. A well-known hotel brand that is convenient and comfortable. Most times I get a room in the back facing a quiet parking lot.

It helps having the quiet for reading, writing and just reflecting. It allows me to unwind from the day and also prepare for the coming day. Oddly though it seems this time around the noise has been constant.

There was the continual rumble of what seemed to be a deep-throated motorcycle rumbling back and forth. And then there was the pounding as if a construction crew was pile driving foundation supports. Both were noises that I could handle.

But those noises didn't seem to compare to those heard from so many people in Washington, D.C. Some would call them politicians. I would call them simply a noisy gong. It was nearly bearable but with the talking news heads, it became a cacophony of indecipherable noise.

If only they had allowed silence to fall upon the conversation. To let reflection take over the moment, maybe listen to the noise that was drifting away. Just maybe better choices and decisions would have rained down upon their thoughts.

The noise in our lives can have a crippling effect upon us. It can hold us back and keep us from advancing forward. A noisy clanging gong that merely clouds our thoughts.

When the din of life rises around you, take some time to step back into the silence. Let silence clear the noise of confusion so that you can more clearly see the answers.

Your Vision

VISION by Despair.com

I really like the sardonic humor of the good folks at Despair.com. They have a fun way of looking at motivation from a totally unexpected view. Whenever I think I'm getting a bit too full of myself, I turn to these folks.

The idea of having a vision for your future is just that, a vision. If you want to have success but combine that vision with all of the things you believe will go wrong...they probably will. I sometimes think of it as getting what you ask for.

If I want to be a speaker in front of hundreds of people, but keep telling myself I can't do it. It is likely that it will never happen for me.

If I want to have a great wife and family, but keep telling myself that no woman would ever want me. It is likely I will never meet a woman that does.

The way we speak into our own lives has a huge impact on what we can accomplish. Does it mean that if I ask for ten million dollars in my life, will I get it? Maybe yes, maybe no; but it will put you on a path to towards it.

I think of the story the actor/comedian Jim Carrey tells says quite a bit about the power of believing in oneself. Jim appeared on the Actors Studio with James Lipton and was asked about writing a 10 million dollar check to himself:

JL- When you were struggling personally and professionally, did you write yourself a check?

JC- Yeah, I made myself my check which was just basically you know, 10 million dollars to Jim Carrey for acting services rendered, dated Thanksgiving 1995, and that was uh, 1990. I gave myself five years to be one of the most successful working actors, to be given the best material, and the best scripts- things that people would never expect in a million years that I could do.

JL- What did you do with the check finally?

JC- I put the check in my fathers pocket in his casket because it was his dream too and he followed me the whole time and it was kind of a completion of all that. He saw The Mask, he saw what was happening to me, and I felt like it was ya know, it was his as well- so I’d give it to him.

Jim was able to write that check and would have been able to cash it. But if he hadn't believed in himself, he never would have come close. The check would have been worthless.

The only way you will ever get to that place is believing in yourself. Know that you can be that person, achieve that thing or reach that place in life by believing in your vision.