Blink of an Eye

“Time flames like a paraffin stove and what burns are the minutes I live.” ― Irving Layton

Not long ago I heard a story from a pastor talking about the words we use and how we understand those used by others. The story began with a question to another person in which she asked, "Do you know what a fetter is?" This person responded, "Sure, I grew up on a farm and my Dad would always ask if the horse had been tended to. My response was always yes, I 'fed her' today."

To understand where this is going, a 'fetter' is normally defined as a chain or manacle used to restrain a prisoner. But I am going to use it to explain how our lives are chained together in many different ways. The interlinking through family, marriage, work, and lots of groups, institutions or other connections binds us all. So how we treat those connections remains important.

Take the binding of two people in marriage. The words spoken as a vow are, "...til death us do part." The life of two bound together is full of words, at first only words of love, then others enter in as they become comfortable with each other. Sometimes too comfortable as we try to mold the other into what we wish them to be, forgetting the "who and why" we married them. Those words spoken can create disharmony, cause conflict or turmoil instead of enjoyment of life and togetherness.

... and then time catches up and the 'til death do us part' arrives.

Life passes by, gone in the blink of an eye. And for what have we wasted with words the time bound together. Was it in bliss or in conflict of each other. And if in conflict, what was the most likely cause of a continued conflict in our life?

I would suggest the answer to that question is pride. Pride keeps us many times from living a more peaceful and enjoyable life. I am talking about the kind of pride that prevents us from being honest with ourselves. In other instances, we do not want to admit defeat. And for many reasons, we do not want to be seen as weak or incapable.

But our vulnerability is exactly the thing that could help us build connections and stronger relationships. Pride gets in the way of our fettered relationships. It gets in the way and prevents us from enjoying the time we have together.

Yes, there are many reasons our relationships dissolve. There are many reasons we cannot seem to get past the walls of division we build. But remember it all goes by so quickly and in the end, was pride worth it?

Stay inspired my friends!

Blustering Came The Wind

“Don't, Sir, accustom yourself to use big words for little matters.” ― Samuel Johnson


Recently I was listening to a colleague complain of a slight taken upon him by another person. The words used were "...he stabbed me in the back." The remaining parts of our conversation were filled with an over abundance of colorful verbs and exaggerated adjectives. It felt as though this person had a compelling reason to convince me of the wrong that was enacted upon him.

He had me at hello.

In actuality, it did not take all of the bluster to convince me of the wrong. And in all of the bluster, the wrong did not rise to the explanation of a knife being inserted into the back of this person. So why was the use of a bloody physical attack needed as the described result of a wrong done by another? Does exaggeration have to be so bold in order to prove one's point?

Is it self importance that we feel the need to do so? Well, sort of it is, but a few reasons people explain things in exaggerated ways are;

- To communicate a certain trait: In the case of my story, was the fellow trying to exhibit his strength to sustain a bloody blow of a knife. That no matter what befalls him, he is a survivor and cannot be defeated?

- To prove something: Maybe he felt I would not believe or consider his concern valid without the graphic explanation. He really was not injured by a knife firmly incised into his back. This could be a common sign of low self esteem. While he raised the wrong to such a high level, did he really think it would have generated greater belief on my behalf?

- To support a point of view: It is said that many people would rather be believed even if they knew their argument is invalid rather than changing their opinion or admitting they were wrong. To me the knife in the back description has always seemed quite over the top in any explanation.

Can we just call it "Twitter Bluster"?

I have a healthy respect for what social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook can accomplish in keeping all of us connected. In business I use it as a tool to teach others how to be succinct, to the point, with their updates on various subjects. With a pre-defined number of characters, how well can you get that point across quickly? Think of it as the 30-second elevator pitch to the division vice-president or to a promising new customer.

But these social media sites have also given birth to the "age of unfettered bluster" in making our point known. Our politicians are not the only ones, but we ourselves have raised the level of exaggerated noise to new levels of just noise. In all of this noise, we are simply trying to shout louder than the next person. We are likely trying to be more important than the next person.

Take the story of a gnat sitting on a bull's horn for a long time. Eventually, he asks the bull whether he would like him to leave. The bull says he had not realized the gnat was even there in the first place and will not miss him when he is gone.

Self importance will soon be forgotten if ever noticed in the first place.

The wind blows through the grass, bending it for a short amount of time. The wind is here and gone, unseen, only temporarily noticed as is the exaggerated word. What remains is the grass, standing tall and proud.

Stay inspired my friends!

Swimming In Life

“There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.” ― Michel de Montaigne


I would have to guess that the older we get, the more we realize how much we do not know. Of course we know a lot of things. We attend school, we get our degrees and through years of work the knowledge grows exceedingly within us.

But we learn to know what we do not know.

There are depths of learning that are described in different ways. Norman Webb defined these as DOKs or Depth of Knowledge stages. Another descriptive way has to do with water. Learning can be like walking into the water, finding the depth of what you know and understand.

In Webb's use of the DOK Wheel, there are four levels the first of which is DOK-1. This is the simple ability to recall and reproduce data, definitions, details, facts, information, and procedures. This level is known as knowledge acquisition but I call it wading into the water ankle deep.

The second or DOK-2 is the building of skills and concepts. This means making a decision on how you will approach your learning process. It includes decisions that require more than a single step such as comparing, organizing or estimating. Here we have knowledge application or entered knee level depth in our water approach.

We now move onto DOK-3 where we think strategically, with reason about the how and why various concepts can be used to get and explain those things we have learned. This is a point at which we can analyze our knowledge in a waist deep way.

With the fourth or DOK-4 level, this requires the most complex of thinking. It is a multitasking of thoughts and knowledge, using multiple sources and multiple ways of solving problems. This is what Webb called knowledge augmentation but I call it swimming.

Swimming in the deep end.

Do we allow our perceived intelligence to be the end to all we know? Are we ready to swim across the lake or an ocean for that matter? Or are we willing to explore a fifth level, the level called wisdom. It is a level brought on by time and age. This is the point at which true knowledge is revealed.

Never let yourself be satisfied with just the gaining of knowledge. As we swim the waters of life, enter the level of wisdom to grow until the end of our swim.

Stay inspired my friends!

The Crashing Waves

"So bend to your trouble and meet your care, for the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair. Let the rain come down, as it must and will, but keep on working and hoping still."
- Edgar A. Guest


In the time since I last wrote to you, the waves kept coming one after another. The list kept growing and the rains have continued to fall. The feeling of being over-whelmed is easy to succumb to during these periods.

So what happened?

The storm that blew in tore down some trees started it all and I will lay the blame on that storm. While it is foolish to assign blame in this fashion, it simply establishes the timeline. The next thing to happen was my upper level air conditioning unit had a humidity drain hose leak that went undetected until it was. What that means is my upstairs hallway ceiling became a mushy mess of water dripping. I quickly fixed the water leak and the ceiling will be repaired by someone more capable then myself.

Yet the fun decided to continue.

The next morning it seemed our home was not keeping up with the cooling during the heat wave we were having. My downstairs air conditioning unit was unable to cool and the unit was frosting over. Winter frost on the pipes during summer, how delightful. This was then repaired at a none too inexpensive cost by our Heating & Air specialists, replacing the blower fan unit. This resulted in much cooler heads and thinking.

I now appear to be a proper whining blogger.

If you have remained reading to this point, or have read my blog posts over the years, I am actually a very positive person. And the story here is really about how we react to these endless waves of issues that come at us. In fact, these things do not happen just to me or you alone. In fact I can state some folks close to us have gone through (excuse the book reference) "A Series of Unfortunate Events" lately.

These folks have a SUV which has had issues from day one and have accumulated frustration and cost over the past year or so. They made a wise decision to cut their trouble and sell back the vehicle to the dealership. With that wave passed, they are now a one car family adjusting to their new transportation situation.

And then wave number two came along.

A very well meaning recall notice on their remaining vehicle arrived from the manufacturer. The recall was for safety and they dutifully took the car to the dealership which performed the work necessary. The dealership also did what was right and did an inspection of the car as a courtesy. The items found would cost over one thousand dollars to fix. Wave number two felt bigger then wave number one, or maybe it felt more like a punch in the gut.

You know it is coming.

Now these fine folks have two small boys and boys can be quite inventive, inquisitive and tornado-like in their adventurous day. Wave three comes in as flour not only spread upon the table, but the floor, in various non-food containers and in places flour just should not be. In fact, their lovely brown haired dog was now an equine coated spectacle of flour.

There are pictures of proof later in life that I am sure these two boys will be reminded of. But the great part about their reaction is that they could only laugh at the situation and know the good things in life actually out-weigh the bad.

To focus on the crushing wave upon wave is to forget the sea breeze, the brilliant blue sky and the exhilarating excitement life provides us with.

We all go through seasons of turmoil and discombobulating events. What may seem trivial to one person has a most upsetting impact to another. Our problems are all relative in the context of our personal lives. What we do have commonality in is that we all experience these waves. Like the normal rhythm of our breathing, or day turning to night or the changing of the seasons, the joyful will return.

Stay inspired my friends!