Holiday Loneliness Change

"No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within; paper lanterns among the dark trees." -Carol Borges

During the holidays, loneliness can be a very oppressive feeling for people. Be it circumstance, due to death of a close one or miles of separation; the feeling is real and hard to cope with.

“There’s so much hype for this wonderful time of togetherness,” said Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Monica, Calif., “that it accentuates the feeling of being alone and disconnected.” And even more, “Many people try to make the holidays be more than what they are,” said Craig Ellison, Ph.D., “They invest in them heavily, thinking they’ll make up for the other 364 days of the year,” he said.

How to cope or how to change these feelings? No easy answers but the following items may help you. It comes from the About.Com, written by Elizabeth Scott.

- Be Good To Yourself
This can not completely rid those feelings of loneliness, but taking special care of yourself can help you to feel better and enjoy your solitude more. Take the time to do things that will enhance your self esteem. Give your self good level of fun that can help lift your spirits.

- Understand That You’re Not Alone
While you may be feeling alone in your life right now, knowing that the holidays can be a lonely time for many people may help you to feel less so. While it may be uncomfortable to feel lonely, it’s also okay to feel this way.

- Rethink Your Expectations
Part of why holidays feel more lonely for many people is that our society has high expectations for this time of year. The absence of Realize that few people’s lifestyles truly measure up to “movie standards” of perfect living, and shift your focus to all the great things you do have in your life.

- Get Connected
It is possible to feel lonely when surrounded by people, but it’s harder to feel lonely when you’re reaching out to them. Whether you’re saying hello to neighbors you’re usually too rushed to acknowledge, exchanging friendly words with people at the office, or picking up the phone and calling an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, reaching out to people and strengthening bonds can help you feel more connected and less lonely.

- Give To Others
One excellent way to feel less lonely during the holidays is to donate your time to a cause you believe in. Helping others who are less fortunate than you can fill you with feelings of love and pride, and even connect you with others who share your passion. You’ll be part of something larger than yourself, and you’ll be immersing yourself in the true spirit of the holiday season.

- Examine Your Feelings
This one probably won’t make you feel better immediately, but if you feel lonely much of the time, this may be a cue that some changes are in order for the coming year. You may want to examine what’s behind your feelings of loneliness. Would you benefit from putting more time into your social life so that you have stronger relationships? Is something inside of you causing you to keep people a t a distance? If you’d like to deepen your friendships, it can cost a little extra time and energy, but the payoff is having increased support and feelings of being heard and understood. Making time for friends, truly listening when your friends talk, and being there for them are all ways to build supportive friendships.

There are many great articles for you to read but it all comes from within. Change and movement will give you a path to embark upon. It will take you away from the loneliness towards something more for your life. For others, sharing a smile or a friendly conversation can be just the thing that person needs. Know that everyone you touch may be in just this type of situation. Extending a small amount of kindness can be the key to setting them on a better path.

Greet the holidays with kindness and greet those around you. Impact the lives of others and your life will be impacted as well.