Friday, February 10, 2012

Lessons in Love

“Enjoy the process. In the middle of this is where everything happens.” -Dean Sweetman

In my new book called LOVE IS describes my journey to discover what real love is. I also take a look at other couple in history and their story of love. There are also chapters that examine the greatest love story ever told. So in my efforts to help you learn what real love is, I am including bits and pieces of my book in various blog articles.

In the chapter titled "If I Speak", my days in college turned out to be a mixed bag of discovery. I see failure in the form of not completing my degree and hard lessons learned regarding how to handle different situations. But I also see success in what turned out to be a path to having four wonderful boys and a great career.

So here is an excerpt from my book, LOVE IS.


The year’s in-between high school and my sister’s death slowly began to have love take hold of me. There were moments of learning and false starts. Even as I graduated from high school, there were still those selfish feelings of “why didn’t I receive more from the high school experience.” No scholarships, no girl friend, no shouts of encouragement or job well done. This caused me to harden my resolve that I would have to do it all on my own. That is not exactly what love is all about and it would continue to take time for the learning process to develop. So off to college I went with a self-centered ambition in mind to succeed on my own terms and that is how I left those early years behind.

Peru State College in Peru, Nebraska would prove to be the application, right or wrong, of those lessons that were building up inside of me. I would enter college with the initial purpose of separating myself from my high school days. I was determined to build a new life on my own terms. College brings new possibility to everything. There are new people, new surroundings and new challenges to conquer. I set out to achieve everything I could by myself since it seemed no one else wanted to be part of my life. It all turned out good and I learned new lessons in life and love even though I was a slow learner.

I jumped into college full steam ahead, becoming involved in many different adventures. There was of course the standard class schedule, much of which I quickly lost control of. This was due to the fact I was becoming heavily involved in many of the other college activities. There was student government, plays to act in, art classes to take and of course parties to attend. It was a collision course with failure to earn a degree that I didn’t see coming.

There were many other successes that came out of my college attendance. I became the Student Body President and also an appointed Student Representative to the State College Board of Trustees. I learned the dos and the don’ts of representative government. I failed miserably at some of my work but succeeded in others. There were people I met along the way that were good and some not so good. All of time I was trying to it all by myself in what I later viewed as righteous indignation.

My love life was on a very slow track as well. It seemed I was falling back into old habits from high school. There were advances and there were a couple of girls that I dated, both of which taught me different lessons about love. There was heartache on my part in never being able to develop a relationship with one. And the other there was heartache on her part when I broke off our relationship. I cannot remember enough to tell you why either relationship failed, but I would say my lack of understanding what love really meant contributed to it. As my relationship with these two women failed, so did my classroom studies. As I transitioned into my second year of college, there was still hope of success in continuing my education.


I firmly believe that we are constantly on a journey to find the full potential of love. Love is and can be a very powerful force in our life. I would suggest that once you learn the basic tenets of what LOVE IS, it will focus your own journey and make it more enjoyable.

Enjoy my new book folks and as always, stay inspired.

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