Friday, December 06, 2013

No More Rocks


"The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks." -Tennessee Williams

I have written before that there are people who will try to place their rocks into your wagon. They do this instead of building their own path. These rocks they 'serve up' to you are intended to bring you down to their pain or misery. They are emptying to unload their own troubles into your life.

Think of an encounter at the grocery store, a technical support line or any other number of daily connections. Is the other person really trying to help you? Or by their words and actions, are they handing you their rocks?

Through the years I have been able to listen to different folks from check out lanes to numerous customer assistance support phone calls. In nearly every case, you can tell by the tone of their voice or interest level how their day and sometimes life is going.

This is not a big new revelation I have come up with.

It is age old and most anyone, including yourself can sense these things. All of us deal in customer service in one form or another. We serve customers that are either really business customers, our boss, our community, or our family. Most every thing we do involves service to others in one form or another. In those moments, do you sometimes have other things on your mind.

Do you vaguely try to toss a few stones into some else's wagon?

I am sure there are people that can explain the psychological aspects of how and why people do this. My simplistic version is that people just like to unload their issues (rocks) on other people. In doing so, they hope it will make their life better. But I see it as these people attempting to drag you down to their attitude level.

Dragging you down to their level is much easier than trying to lift themselves.

Try it some time, listen to how the other person is talking. Is the tone of their language effecting your own attitude? Is it depressing, angering or just making you feel lousy? If so, STOP...remember the first rule? You control your own attitude. As Elbert Hubbard, an American philosopher and writer said, "The happiness of this life depends less on what befalls you than the way in which you take it."

Also remember that you can impact the other persons life as well.

Your responses and how you react to another person transcends not only the encounter but the next encounter both people will have. Maybe not in a big impactful way but in small ripples that move out from this one exchange. It is these small ripples which have a big impact eventually.

Do not allow yourself to carry the rocks of another person. Help them unload the rocks to build a new path. No one needs to be carrying a bunch of rocks around if they do not want to. The road to where we want to be can be paved with those rocks instead of struggling to carry them through the dirt and mud.

Unload your wagon, not onto someone else but create a new path on which to travel. And as always, stay inspired my friends!

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