Memories and Birthdays

"Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but some how feeling warm inside because you're close in heart." -Anonymous

Today marks what would have been my brother's 58th birthday...that is if my math is correct. But the age doesn't matter now because he is ageless in time now having passed away just over a year ago.

It really doesn't mean a lot to those that didn't know my brother. It really only matters to those that did. But what matters to everyone is that we remember those we love and lost.

The stories we have of lost loved ones should be passed down through the generations. The fun stories, the loving stories and the serious ones. We need to explain and let the younger generations know who they were. A link to the past provides understanding of where we are going today.

My brother had a lot of stories in life. Some of those stories are heart breaking and hard ones to tell. But many more of those stories show a man redeemed and full of greatness.

The same stories are inside each one of us. They are stories and memories to be passed down to our children, grand children and more. Even in death the memory of 'us' can serve as guideposts for those still living their natural lives.

So today, March 15, is a day in which I can still say, "Happy Birthday John" and many more. Love you, miss you and most of all, thanks for ALL of the memories.

Memories

"Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember." ~Seneca

There are three dates that cling in my memory like many others.

20 Oct 1989

14 Oct 2008

04 Jan 2011

These dates mark the passing of a sister, a mother and most recently a brother. Each of them were mournful and hard just like the ones you have or may have to go through. But each of them also were and remain a celebration of the lives that they lived.

I remember the days of large family picnics where our large family got together with cousins and aunts and uncles. It seemed in those days everyone had large families. So the gatherings were large and wild and tiring and ... yes, I have some fond memories of those events.

I remember our own family gathered whether it be at a picnic table or at the dinner table. All of us together, even with the childhood bickering that could happen, I still relish those memories. The gathering of our family was always an event in my mind. It solidified who we were as a family. It made us a family.

After a day of flowers and cards, sweet chocolates and kisses, I'm reminded of the love and great time with those that have gone before me. It brings a smile to my face to remember each of them. It brings a smile to my face believing that the three are together with others at a large picnic. It brings a smile to my face knowing they are peacefully in my mind.

You have the ability to create memories that are lasting and loving. We create them each and every day. It does not happen just on Valentines Day. It happens each morning when you kiss your loved ones before heading out to work. It happens when you hug your kids when you see them. It happens when you sit down to a meal.

Memories are stored inside each of us, meant to be brought out as a reminder of the love we have and have been given. Yes, the bad memories do exist but are overpowered by the loving ones. Create memories for your life and in the lives of others.

Dean Martin sang a song called "Memories Are Made Of This" that is a nice reminder. Enjoy and then make some memories to be cherished and remembered for a very long time.

Creating Memories

"One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor

I am spending these days with my dying mother, Rose Marie Gale-Primm. Along with my father, sister and brothers, it is a time that we have known would come and we are experiencing so many emotions. There are many that have gone through this before us and many that will do so after we have grieved.

But for now, we are reminiscing with her as she prepares to take her final breath. The Lord is giving us these final days after having blessed us with so many. You see, back in March of this year (2008) she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. It was already advanced and most Pancreatic cancers are once found will result in a rapid decline.

The average life span is less then 6 months so we feel fortunate that Dr. Solomon Haroon in Fremont, Nebraska has done an excellent job in treating her. We are so thankful for the absolutely wonderful work he has done. Yet now we are in our time of hospice, in giving Mom a comfortable place to find the peace she so deserves.

We don't grieve of past pain or issues, we live to make life worth remembering. That in the end, we can truly say what a great time we have had with each other. This week we are creating wonderful memories even in the saddest of times.

When our mother finally passes, it will be with the full knowledge of the love she has given to so many people. It will also be with the full knowledge of the love that so many of you have shown her. Take a few moments to tell those you know that you love them, create a moment worth remembering.
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The Goodness In People

There is goodness in speaking kindly of others both here and those that have passed away. The older I get, the more important it seems to me that this is true. To let go of the negative thoughts about a person and to think of the good things that person has done becomes more important.

By measuring the goodness of a persons life - large or small - significant or not - means that the person matters. And this means some much to those around them and to those left behind by their passing.

As each of us has both good and bad aspects of our lives, to remember the positives will mean so much more. Even as a person continues to live, think of the good things and improve upon those positives. I have seen many people leave this life knowing many of them well and many others not so well. But it is the good things that I choose to remember.

Yes, there are those truly horrible people in this world, but those that are in your daily life, those are the ones that you have to come to terms with. For you will one day be measured by your own goodness. Leave a trail of good memories that will be remembered by all.