Building A Life From Dirt

“Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.” ~Og Mandino

Today I draw some inspiration from a family friend. Her name is Belinda and she herself is a source of inspiration. Belinda is a woman who has survived a brain tumor not once but twice in her lifetime.

What she sent me was a story, much like many that circulate around but meaningful if you are in need of a lift. The story tells of one day when a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. So he invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake off the dirt and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take another step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Now the story does have a twist about the donkey coming back later and biting the farmer in the hindend, causing a fatal infection to the farmer. A moral about trying to cover up your mistakes that come back to bite you.

But what I draw from the story reminds me of Belinda and her fighting the brain tumors. We know and eventually accept that life is going to throw an obstacle in our way. Like the donkey, some dirt is going to get shoveled on you, lots of it and very different types of dirt.

The idea is to shake it off and keep moving. You need to turn the obstacles into stepping stones. We can get beyond our circumstance not by stopping, but by never giving up!

Belinda nearly lost her life years ago. Her husband Mark talks about it in my book CHANGED LIVES of their fight and survival. Belinda did not stop and succumb to what others might have considered her fate. Not Belinda though, she kept moving and overcoming.

Even when a growth was found again a year ago, she kept moving and the growth went away. A miracle? I believe they occur and in this case she is living proof of that. But we each can learn and take inspiration from Belinda's life experience.

Finally, in her story she sent me there were five simple rules for life.

1. Free your heart from hatred; learn to forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries; most never happen.
3. Appreciate what you have; you'll have so much more.
4. Give more; you'll get much more in return.
5. Expect less; you'll get what you need.

Get to know the stories of others that have been through the well, having dirt thrown down upon them by life. Then be inspired by them to jump start your own life.

Pile Of Tires

"Opportunity is often difficult to recognize; we usually expect it to beckon us with beepers and billboards." ~William Arthur Ward

The picture just screams, "Dang it, another flat tire and nothing for miles. I guess I'll have to wait for someone to come along and help." Another missed opportunity that we failed to recognize.

Now granted, the purest would say it is a truck full of tires that couldn't be used in this situation. But your imagination can see what I am talking about. It is the idea of opportunity just yelling out at us and we are not in a position to hear it. Those types of opportunities rarely occur in life.

We normally have to position ourselves for opportunity and then mindfully keep our eyes open. But how do we position ourselves for any type of opportunity? We read more, we learn more and we interact more with life.

Opportunity does not come to your darkened doorstep and knock. Opportunity does not find you sitting in front of the television watching mindless shows. Opportunity does not find you, you encounter it.

By learning more, by trying new things, by interacting with people, the probability that opportunity will meet up with you is enormous. You still have to be aware and cognizant of it happening, but it will happen.

So get up off the bumper of your life and look around. The opportunity might be right behind you or just around the bend.

Help, I'm Drowning

"We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic." ~Cullen Hightower

This past weekend was one in which the unexpected happened beyond the planning I had done. One in which you get brought to your fear and have to face it without fully realizing its going to happen. Oh the joy of trying to face your personal fear when all along you have been trying to avoid it.

My personal fear is the one of drowning. Falling into the water, being submerged and never coming back up. It is silly to even admit at my age, but I can not swim. I can't float on the water nor tread water to save my own life. The fear can be pretty overwhelming at times and stems from an incident when only 7 or 8 years old.

As I tell the story, though my brothers would disagree, is that we were all at the local pool. I had just started learning to swim albeit not very well. So I was confined to the shallow end and my brothers were to keep an eye on me. Bouncing about in the pool, having a good time two unknown kids came along, one high, one low and took me under the water and held me down.

It seemed like I was under water for 10 minutes but in all reality was only 10 seconds I suppose. But it scared the living daylights out of me and became my biggest life long fear. The joke in my family became that I could no longer take a bath for fear of drowning.

Over the years I have tried with little success to truly over come this fear. I can take a bath thank you, but bodies of water, boats and such still make me nervous. Most times I try to avoid placing myself in situations that could cause me to confront the fear. So to my surprise, this weekend challenged me on this front.

An overnight camping trip for instructors of the C3 Journey program in the north Georgia mountains to discuss some upcoming events. As we sat around the fire at Raven Cliff Falls, the conversation turned to a planned kayak ride down the Chattahoochie River the next morning. Now my plan was to head back home and do some work around the house. It was a planned avoidance of the water, but my wife was with me and encouraged me to go down the river.

It was a 'spur of the moment' decision on my part and said yes. What could go wrong, but inside I was feeling the fear build. So off to Wildwood Outfitters and a 'fun' afternoon of kayaking; something I had never done before. A quick lesson and into the water we went.

Not too far down the river, I tipped over in shallow water and thought oh geez, here we go. I continued my trek with the others down the river, manuevering as best I could. I felt better as things went along and the fear subsided a fair amount until half way through the journey. Here we were coming up on a Class 2 rapid. Many would consider this nothing, but to an unexperienced paddler and one fearful of water, it could have been a Class 6 in my mind.

As I neared, two fellow kayaking folks had got hung up about ten feet past the drop. I was heading straight for them and no other way around. I told myself, drop into it and then muscle your way to the right and around them. The old saying, "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men" by John Steinbeck was never more appropriate. Head first into the first two kayaks and the rushing water spun my boat around and then upside down.

The interesting thing in these (to me) terrifying moments is that there was a panic button right there underneath the water. In a moment I was grabbing for whatever was nearby as I was caught upside down in my kayak. Lucky for me while unlucky for my friend was his loose t-shirt that I grabbed hold of.

I am surprised I didn't pull him under and soon enough I was untangled and able to get my feet in the turbulent water. All three feet of water that is. All of a sudden the panic was replaced by embarrasment and trying to regain composure. And trying to find my kayak and paddle...the first rule is to never lose your paddle.

The rest of the journey was filled with a few more exciting moments. Although nothing that made me confront my fear of drowning more then the incident at what I call, "That Damn Rock Rapid". I would like to tell you that a miracle occurred and my fear is completely gone. I would like to tell you that its that simple. But it isn't, there is still work to do in overcoming the fear.

What I can tell you is that I know that I need to confront my fear more often. That the only way we ever get over our fears is to face them. To avoid and run from the fear will only embolden that fear. You give it strength over your life by avoiding it. By facing the fear, you take away that strength from it. You keep facing the fear and eventually you overtake it. I should have learned that long ago, but last Saturday was my first step.

Step forward and get in the face of your fears. Find ways to confront the fear and eventually you will find the fear running from you. I may have nearly panic'd myself into drowning, but I've also panic'd that fear into one day leaving me.

Enthusiastic Optimism

"Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enthusiasm is brimming over the opening of a new hotel in the battle-scarred city of Sa'Ada, Yemen. As the folks cheerfully said, "We don't expect foreigners to visit now, but I think that if the situation stays stable, maybe they will come." I call that optimism at its ultimate test. I would also venture to guess that I am now on a government watch list for just searching the Internet on Sa'Ada, Yemen to figure out where it is located.

I found the story interesting because no matter where you are or what your circumstances are, there is always room to be optimistic. You build a hotel that has a high chance of being shelled into ruins, yet have the enthusiasm to believe foreign tourists will eventually arrive. You get up in the morning looking forward to a day that will produce great things in your life. Both take enthusiastic optimism to achieve.

The day might bring hardship but you keep moving forward. You keep optimism alive and push towards your goal. It takes enthusiasm to keep you moving forward and without it you might as well let the "shelling of the hotel" begin.

Would you call it rose colored glasses? I suppose you could, but if the glasses let you see possibility, then by all means wear them. Anything is possible if you simply look through the smoke and destructive obstacles in your life. See what can be and then pursue it enthusiastically; pursue it with enthusiastic optimism.