French Dialogue

"That is the happiest conversation where there is no competition, no vanity, but a calm quiet interchange of sentiments." -Samuel Johnson

It was all we wanted, a cup of coffee from which a relaxing afternoon would melt away. It was of course in a restaurant in the French village of Senlis. Two Americans, enjoying the day and trying to traverse the French language in a way those around thought amusing.

It is said by some that the French can be rude, but I would say that can happen anywhere. The French are very nice and accomodating any time I travel to France. What I do observe is if you try to speak the language of the local area you are in, it is a respectful sign and acknowledgement to them. And so we tried, we viewed the menu and tried to say the right words in the right dialect and without sounding too foolish.

We used our intellect and could make out the words of various items on the menu. The cafe, creme brulee were easy enough and the tarte aux pomme was likely a dessert as well. Go figure, it would be the desserts that we understood most easily. Yet it was not a meal we were after, it was conversation.

In a country where you don't speak the language, all of the conversations around you are like static to the senses. You know the talk is of family, sports, business or possibly gossip. But you can not make out the words and the laughter is enticing. So you look at each other and start your own conversation, in English, in focus on each other.

I would like to think that those around us enjoyed the English language as well since it is not something they hear all that often. Two Americans, a man and woman, husband and wife talking of things close to them, of things that fill their life together.

It was a conversation that was long but was too short. That is what makes relationship with others so wonderful. It is what makes my marriage so great; the conversation between two people. A cup of coffee, a dessert and a long conversation that always seems to end too soon.

Make your conversations with others the ones each of you want to remember for a long time. Make those conversations such that you never want them to end. Make your connection with others be the type that they never want it to end.

First Steps

"The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult." -Madame Marie du Deffand

My wife and I received a very exciting email from our daughter in Los Angeles over the weekend. It was more exciting than our week long trip in France. It was seeing our grand-daughter crawl for the first time, captured on video.

This is the first of many that all of us will and have taken in life. Once we begin to crawl, we move that much closer to our first of many steps. That is how it begins, learning to crawl and wanting to get to another place in our life.

As we grow older we tend to forget those first steps. The first time we tasted ice cream, the first time we fell in love with our spouse, the feeling of seeing a child born. These moments seem to get lost in our growing older, in taking so many steps getting to where we thought we wanted to be.

We get so wrapped up in our own selfishness that we look down and find our path has diverged from those around us. And in that moment we have to make a decision to find our way back to the first time we tasted ice cream, the first time we fell in love with our spouse, and the feeling of seeing a child born.

It starts by deciding to crawl until we can find our feet again. The first step occurs and another and another. You will find things lining back up again in your life. If there was anger and hurt in your life, it will dissolve with each passing foot step. The selfishness will evaporate and greater things will begin to happen in your life.

Start crawling if that is what it takes. Soon enough those first steps will take place and when able, start running. Run to the important things in life, not from them.

Educated Confidence

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship." -Aeschylus

It starts early in life, from the moment we are born. I am talking about the learning process. We learn new sounds while still in the womb, figuring out that voice is our mother or father. With the first light of birth, we connect the voices to the faces, processing every bit of information.

On it goes through pre-school, elementary, high-school and college. It doesn't even matter that you go through all of the formal education. Knowledge is a constant thing in our life. The more you learn, the more you understand the world around you. The more you learn, the more you will understand your place in it.

We can choose not to learn, we can choose ignorance and become mired in the mud of life. We can choose to learn more and lift ourselves to greater possibility. It is a choice we can make each and every day.

Choose to learn more each day. Choose to make your life greater.

Childish Examples

"We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching." -Roy L. Smith

Recently I was talking to my wife about the parenting program she runs. It is a small endeavor at this point, but it is impacting families one at a time. Her program is to help families struggling to use the right skills for communication and dealing with all those things that happen as parents.

I was listening to her passion for what it does for these families. To see things get turned around when someone learns new skills is wonderful. These parenting classes make a difference and probably would have served me well when I was a very young father.

One of the things she teaches upon is how children learn by example. Sitting here writing about it seems like a 'no-brainer' bit of knowledge. But we have seen so many times how a child will mimic a parent.

If a parent walks around with a cell phone chatting away, you will find a young daughter or son play-acting the same way. Now take that parent gossiping, complaining, or talking badly on the phone; the child learns the same by watching.

If a parent is driving down the rode with children in the back, a driver cuts them off in traffic. Without thinking, a parent will raise a finger and shout a curse or few chosen words. A child in the back sees and processes this information.

If a parent, if a parent, if a parent; the examples can go on and on. We all learn many times by example. But none as much as a child. You, the parent, are their hero, their guidance, their link to knowing all that exists. Sounds like a pretty heavy responsibility doesn't it? It is and you must treat it as such.

The childish examples we portray from time to time are in fact, pretty childish. You may think your children sit quietly (or not) in the back ground ignoring you. What you must realize is that they are actually being pretty attentive to your every action and word.

If a parent wants to give their child or children a great gift, then give them great examples to see. Leave behind childish examples and give them wonderful examples to live by. Give them examples of love. Give them examples of healthy living. Give them your best.