One Little G

"There was definitely some miscommunication." -Alan Trammell

So there I was, communicating via email to several people. The intent was to place a young man in touch with several people in hopes of helping him find a new job. The plan seemed simple enough. I would send the email out to many people asking them to respond with any assistance to myself and this young man.

Fairly quickly I had four responses to myself and the other man. Feeling happy enough with the results that quickly, that night I went to bed. Shortly after getting into bed (U.S. east coast time), I received a phone call from another man out in California. It just so happened that he had the same name as the person I was helping.

Hmmm....

The man was nice and he was calling to inform me that he was receiving emails regarding potential jobs. He was actually very nice about it and the concern he showed to ensure the emails got to the proper person; to say the least, it was refreshing.

I apologized with my best manners and set off the next morning to understand and correct the error. It didn't take me long to figure out that I had left the letter 'g' out of the email address. Both men had the same name, used the same mail service but the man I really needed to see the emails used his middle name initial in the email address.

One little 'g' and I had mis-communicated with many, many people. A common mistake and this time easily corrected. Yet we all understand how miscommunication in business, in relationships and in everyday life can create havoc.

So how can you avoid miscommunication? It isn't easy and the easiest way is to not communicate with anyone. But life is meant to be a big conversation. It is meant to be interactive with other people. So to help you avoid some of the communication missteps, here are some pointers.

- Manage expectations; every discussion, every meeting, every connection is unique. We can certainly learn from our experiences in similar situations, but it is important to understand that this time things can and probably will be different.

- Attention needs to be given to non-verbal signs such as the tone of voice or the body language of the other person. Many times words do not tell the entire story. So watch the posture and facial expressions being communicated by yourself and back to you.

- Learn something, research and learn everything you can about the other person if that is what it takes. This works especially well in business if done prior to meeting with them. the more you know, the better you will understand how to communicate with them.

- Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you don't understand, ask. Don't move forward based on wrong assumptions. Ask now, be clear and things will progress in a much better way.

- When communicating, listen carefully. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and take notes if necessary. During long meetings or conversations, the mind has a way of forgetting or "mis-remembering" the details. Repeat what is is you understand back to the other person, sometimes placing what they said into your own words. Many times we interpret words differently from what was actually meant.

- Rid yourself of preconceptions prior to ever starting a conversation. It is very easy to "jump to conclusions" about a person or subject that is going to be discussed. Even if you have a real good idea, try to put any feelings until you can be confirmed. Having preconceived notions can keep you from understanding what is really going on.

- Along with preconceptions, be open to new ideas. You may very well be the expert, but even experts can sometimes learn from others. Simply be willing to learn new things.

- Avoid emotional words, think diplomatically as well and as often as you can. Some words that you might use are just too emotionally charged to have any place certain conversations. Which also means to avoid communicating at all (or very little) when you’re upset. When we are angry or hurt, it simply is not a good time to talk with a client or send an email.

- Be understanding of the other person, the situation and the subject being discussed. In life, sooner or later you’ll probably be called in to fix somebody else’s mistake. We all make mistakes, including you and me, so don't immediately start criticizing.

- Of course you should always check for typos and grammatical errors when writing. Simple grammar and typos can cause others to misunderstand you. It can make a huge difference by misplacing a decimal point when $1000 becomes $10.00.

Even missing one little "g" can make a difference. So think about how you communicate with others and stay inspired my friends.

Love Is Friendship

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help." -Epicurus

Uncle Richard and Aunt Dot, that is how we knew these people. They became friends with my parents when both young couples were living in Empire City. A small neighborhood on the south side of Fremont, Nebraska. For so many years I tried to figure out the connection. Was Uncle Richard my Dad's brother or was Aunt Dot my mother's sister?

Yet they were simply great friends that lasted for over 60 years. Just recently Aunt Dot passed away. Only my father remains of the four people that held friendship so close for so many years.

There are many family stories one could tell of these fine people and their great friendship with my parents. It is suffice to say that the friendship lasted through anything and everything. It is love, unselfish, non-judgemental and self-sacrificing that sustains a friendship for that many years.

So I will simply write the story of each, my Uncle Richard and my Aunt Dot. May their reunited souls be singing and dancing upon the streets of their heaven.

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Uncle Richard (Richard Goeglein), passed away on September 17, 2007. He was born in Lincoln, Nebraska on February 1, 1923 to Harry A. and Elsie (Koch) Goeglein. In 1954, he married Theidate 'Dot' Coufal. Before that happened though, he had entered the U. S. Army Air Force and spent three years in Galapagos Island as a radar technician during World War II.

Upon his return from the war, he attended the University of Nebraska where he received his master's degree and earned three varsity letters in football. Uncle Richard helped the 1950 Cornhuskers coached by Bill Glassford to a 6-2-1 overall record and a No. 17 final national ranking. It marked Nebraska's first winning season in a decade.

Following his graduation and marriage to Aunt Dot, he taught and coached in the Fremont Public Schools for five years. He then returned to Lincoln to coach wrestling at Southeast High School. One of his proudest accomplishments was to spread the wrestling program throughout the State of Nebraska. He was inducted into the Nebraska Wrestling Hall of Fame in 1993. He taught science at Pound Junior High and retired from teaching in 1985.

Uncle Richard was great to have around. I can still see him standing proud guiding his pontoon boat across the lake.

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Aunt Dot, (E. Theidate (Datie, Dot) Goeglein) made it to the grand age of 91. She passed away on January 30, 2012 at The Monarch Hospice in Lincoln. Aunt Dot was born August 30, 1920, the middle daughter of Charles R. (Carl) and Constance (Abbott) Bush's five children.

Her childhood was spent on a farm near Republican City (Nebraska) and graduated from Republican City High School in 1937. After receiving a teaching degree from Kearney State College, Datie taught at several different schools in the rural are around Republican City.

She was married to Uncle Richard on May 29, 1954. She then worked for many years as a receptionist/bookkeeper for Dr. Place in Northeast Lincoln. After retirement, she and Dick enjoyed camping and spending their summers at Michigan lakes with relatives. They also enjoyed Husker football games for many years and were faithful, longtime member of Faith Lutheran Church.

There are many stories of her keeping Uncle Richard in line when we'd visit them on the lake. Or as Uncle Richard cruised down the interstate highway pulling the camper AND the pontoon boat. As sweet of a woman could be to us kids, she could have easily been our own mother.

If you are interested in sending a memorial, suggestions to the Nebraska Stroke Foundation, Lincoln Food Bank, or Faith Lutheran Church are in order.

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The circle of life that begins at our birth and transitions upon death remains unbroken. It simply changes, it remains in the memories and hearts of everyone that carry on with life. Aunt Dot and Uncle Richard will remain a fond and cherished part of my memories until we meet again.

Stay inspired through out your life my friends.

Now

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two words which tend to prevent us from ever getting ahead in life. They are words that we all too often speak into our own lives and allow a certain power over us.

Those two words are IF and WHEN.

IF only I had more time. IF only I was smarter. IF the stars align perfectly. Then I will move myself to seek a better life, greater achievement and reach those goals I have set for myself.

WHEN the kids are out of school. WHEN the weather gets better. WHEN the time is right. Then I will be able to complete my schooling, find out if I'm capable and reach those goals I have set for myself.

Almost daily we talk ourselves out of doing some greater, something more in our life. We say those words nearly instantaneous and without thought of how destructive they are to our goals.

Be one to get and DO what it is you want to DO in life. Don't say IF. Don't say WHEN. Like the famous advertising slogan goes, "Just Do It" and see your goals fulfilled.

Stay inspired my friends.

Love of Flowers

"A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love." -Max Muller

In my book Love Is, you will find a section regarding the biological significance upon love. There are very particular sections of the brain that light up when love is present. The things we do, the external stimuli spark these regions of the brain. They also produce various chemicals and reactions. You can read my book to understand more of what I am talking about.

An interesting thing to note about research of the brain relative to love is that scientists are looking at pills that they say romantic love could theoretically be simulated with chemicals. They also say that how to get relationships back in order, you should engage in those behaviors that stimulate the release of these chemicals and allow them to stimulate your emotions. These behaviors of course would be hugging, kissing, and intimate contact.

In the larger sense of biological reasons and how much further scientists have to go to understand what love is, one said it best. He said, “My wife tells me that flowers work as well. I don’t know for sure.” He then said, “As a scientist it’s hard to see how it stimulates the circuits, but I do know they seem to have an effect. And the absence of them seems to have an effect as well.”

Love is a powerful force that can be given of oneself. This force will enter that person's body, brain, heart and soul, filling them and causing the reactions scientists have found. But you knew it all along.

Fill the lives of others with love and see what happens. You will find love coming back ten-fold, filling your own life, stimulating your own brain and making your life the best life.

Stay inspired my friends.