Youth Sports At What Cost

"She was 15 years old. Her crime? Her coach thought she didn’t play very well in the first half. Her punishment? Total humiliation." - Mike Giuliano

How often have you sat in stands of a local youth sports game and heard parents disparaging the umpires, the players or coaches. I am sure each of us have possibly yelled something in defense of our own team or child.

Many times it can become very offensive in language or just in the verbal abuse the parent is shouting. We certainly are either embarrassed after the fact by our words or even for the person shouting so loudly.

Most people would not stand idly by and may say something. In the world of sports at many levels, umpires or referees have the authority to remove that person from the facility because of the abusive language.

So much of this goes on that law enforcement is hired to attend and be a presence during these sporting events from young children playing soccer, middle and high school well into the college and professional ranks.

Why then do we allow coaches to abuse our children?

In a recent article, Mike Giuliano writes about this phenomenon in which we allow many (not all) coaches verbally and sometimes physically abuse our kids.

Mike is a teacher and girls soccer coach at Greater Atlanta Christian in the Atlanta area. He and his family moved to Atlanta so that his wife Barbara could take a job fighting domestic minor sex trafficking.

Previously Mike was the head soccer coach at Wheaton College (men), San Diego State University (women) and Westmont College (women). His teams have won four national collegiate championships and he has a Ph.D. in communication studies from Northwestern University.

The stories he tells of the mental, verbal and sometimes physical go well beyond what would be accepted of teachers in the classroom, or of parents in the stadium stands. But we allow coaches to do so.

Why? All in search of that elusive sports scholarship.

The reason is a very simplistic one and does not encompass all of the various reasons. But Mike explains, "...there is so much fear of the price of college, that any coach who may increase our children’s chances of securing an athletic scholarship is treated with reverence, regardless of his or her demeanor."

And the price our children pay long term is more devastating. As adults these kids have a higher percentage of serious self-esteem issues, more apt to wed abusive spouses or abuse their own spouses.

What we are teaching our kids by allowing these types of coaches into their lives is that verbal abuse unleashed for a “good cause” is always justified as explained by Giuliano.

Is this how we should be raising our children?

There will be those who justify the abuse and respond by saying we are coddling our children. I have even heard a parent tell his son after losing a club wrestling match that he needs to "grow a pair" in a not so friendly manner.

Are we over-protecting our kids? No, I am not talking about that kind of treatment. This is the real thing and we need to open our eyes to the impact it has on our kids and what it does to society long term.

If not for society, then for your own child. Give them an opportunity to learn and love sports. So much can be learned about life, competition and leadership with the right kind of experience.

Stand up and protect your kids when a coach or anyone is being abusive. There will be more games played with both wins and defeats occurring. Just don't let either come at the cost of your child's long term well-being.

Stay inspired my friends.

(Thanks Mike Giuliano for the great article as guidance for this article)

Dark Chocolate World

“The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.” ― Elbert Hubbard

The quote is a variant of what Elbert Hubbard said back in 1913. It was a long time ago and if people felt the pace of things was going fast then, what would they think today?

Which brings me to a less intense subject of chocolate.

The pace of technology and invention continues on many fronts. The digital age, medical advancement, transportation, manufacturing ... you name it and someone is always out there inventing, improving and tinkering.

It is no different in the world of chocolate.

Take for instance this story from a few years ago. Chocolate records to be played and then eaten. Was he the first, probably not, but man's pursuit to perfect those things in our life constantly goes on.

Or how about a nice new pair of shoes?

And if you need a set of tools you could try these.

Or maybe go back to 1930 and the accidental invention of chocolate chip cookies.

Either way, “All you need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt” (Charles M. Schulz).

Stay inspired my friends!

Kanpai Everyone

“I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing.” ― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick

A serious week of news has been filled with serious issues confronting our global society. For many the anxiety of what is occurring and of the unknown can be overwhelming. Others will dig into their respective stance on both ends of the spectrum.

There will be arguments and exaggerated solutions and reasons given. The answers will not come easy and many will end up in conflict, tears or pain over what seems like an impossible future to overcome. The direction we are headed on is not in agreement.

Our future is never ensured, so kanpai everyone!

In history, people had the same fears, disagreements and uncertainty. All felt the same anxieties and of possible doom as the only future left for them. Think of the dark ages after fall of the Roman Empire when society had to reinvent itself.

There were structures of organization, leadership and even invention and art which needed to grow anew. People were looking for ways to govern themselves, feed themselves and care for the sick. It was an uncertain future each were trying to survive.

Yet their future was not ensured, so kanpai everyone!

The industrial revolution brought great advancement, jobs and new skills. It also brought abuse of the working class, sickness related to new technologies and pennies paid for labor borne on the backs of many. The struggle for a better life continued.

Immigration brought hope to so many but it also brought failed dreams, crowded living conditions, disease and crime. All ere struggling to understand and build a new future the best way they could. It was a future they wanted today and for their children.

And we know the future is not ensured, so kanpai everyone!

The great world war, Nazism and near mass destruction of a whole group of peoples dimmed the hopes of so many. Death, pain, abuse and being subjected to unimaginable horrors were a part of the landscape for a long period of time that even the future was hard to believe in.

Society was near an end and hope seemed impossible but society fought on and through the times. And time did pass even as we argued with each other, fought together and defeated those things which kept us from looking forward to a better time. The struggle was as real as it was in any time in history.

The future was not ensured, so kanpai everyone!

Now we see ourselves today, struggling with a widening economic divide, between the violence of those who use a twisted view of their religion, between opinions of who or who should not be trusted, of us against whomever your favorite them is. A deepening of our distrust for each other.

The struggle is real most certainly and the answers are not easily defined in a tweet, social media post or cute meme. The conversation is that we are worse off then ever in our history but history would beg to differ. It is just a struggle and all struggles are relative only to the present time.

But the future will occur, so kanpai everyone!

Let us laugh and cheer at life no matter what the struggle is. We will find a way to get ourselves into the future. I know so because the future will bring us there regardless of what we do. So kanpai (cheers) for life and our future.

Stay inspired my friends.

Would We?

“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.”
― Neil Postman

Would we normally shout in the face of our friends?

If you stood in front of those same friends, would we?

In the normal course of social media, we have different ways to express ourselves through heated opinion. It can be easy to rage about what is wrong with others.

Take a look at your Facebook account. When you add people to your account, you proclaim them as a friend. This is called "friending" and we do this in order to share our lives with those we call friends.

We then begin to shout in the face of our friends.

If you stood in front of those same friends, would we?

So many good things can come from social media. It can be the sharing of one's life with those we are too far from. A way to share a picture of that great meal or the vacation hot spot we enjoyed so much.

Before the advent of smartphones and readily available computers, we invited people into our home for coffee and cake. A movie projector or photo album was then revealed to share our memories.

Would we shout our rage about the other travelers?

If we sat in front of those same friends, would we.

Yet social media causes us to do just that ... shout and yell of the divide that we ourselves are creating. It clouds those posts we want to show which are the good things.

All of it gets lost in the noise of the provocation we so easily post. The political and religious extremes and intolerance whether perceived or relative divides us.

Would we rather unite or is it division we seek?

If we gathered our friends, would we?

This very article will likely get lost in the noise of division created. Facebook and other social media outlets will continue to be as crowded as the highways with road rage.

My hope is we can see through the darkness which keeps the sides so far apart. That maybe we can bring more light into the conversation and possibly closer to an agreeable disagreement.

Would we speak in more friendly tones to each other?

If we sat with our friends and just talked, would we?

Stay inspired my friends.