Hello...Can You Hear Me?

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." ~George Bernard Shaw

Hello out there, can anybody hear me? For that matter, am I listening to know if I can hear anybody out there?

Communication is such a key element of our life's journey. As I was researching for this article, I wanted to understand why often times communication between two people can seem to go so badly. In Merriam-Webster's dictionary, communication is defined as; a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.

So this would mean we relate to each other through the spoken word, the written word, hand gestures, body movement and also non-verbally. Each of these methods are varied in their application and delivery. They vary from culture to culture, city to city, and even family to family. We all have a learned concept of what communication is and means.

Ignoring those differences in what each of believe is "communication" leads to misunderstandings, arguments, divorce, lawsuits and even war. I certainly wouldn't leave out all of the other things that cause disagreements such as money, possessions, sex, or many other causes. But today we focus on communication.

Not being able to learn how to communicate with other people only increases your chances of having problems with those other people. Like a good or bad attitude, it really starts with you.

Are you willing to slow down and listen? This is probably one of the things I work on the most and most of us need to work on as well.

Think about the old toy you may have created as a child. Two tin cans connected by a long piece of string to create a Tin Can Phone. While it may seem like a silly example, it took cooperation on both ends to get it to work.

For one, both people had to ensure the string remained tight between the cans. If one person leaned in, the string would slacken and nothing could be heard.

Second, if both people started talking at the same time, nothing could be heard. Like a walkie-talkie, the communication is half-duplex, which means only one person can talk and the other has to listen.

Lastly, the person speaking has to speak clearly while the person listening really has to listen carefully. Remember that this is a tin can phone so the quality isn't very good.

But then again, most of our daily conversations with other people is like a tin can phone conversation. Too many times we are talking at the same time and not listening. Too many times we are not speaking clearly enough or in a way to make ourself understood. Too many times we are not cooperating with each other in this two-way conversation. And too many times we simply are not listening closely or with enough attention.

This is when communication breaks down.

So how do we improve our communication with each other then? I think you will find your answers in most everything I said above. There are no easy fixes because a list of "things to do" is not the only answer.

Practicing good communication skills is a start. More important though is learning to slow down and listen more carefully. This doesn't leave out the person talking because speaking clearly, writing, and gesturing are important as well.

Good communication starts with you. You can begin the steps to improve communication between yourself and others. Good communication is a skill that will help as you live the journey of your life....your best life.