Finding Your Mojo

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

You have likely heard those phrases that encourage you to be bold and move forward with confidence. Those phrases are meant to be encouraging and motivational. Although the hard part is to put those words into action. It is especially hard if confidence does not come to you naturally.

Is confidence a natural or learned behavior? According to a study discussed in Psychology Today, "Contrary to accepted wisdom, researchers found that children's self-confidence is heavily influenced by heredity—at least as much as IQ is. Indeed, as-yet-unidentified self-confidence genes appear to influence school performance independent of IQ genes, with shared environment having only a negligible influence." Yet it is also accepted that it can be changed or influenced.

So if you never had confidence or it slipped from you, there are simple ways to rebuild or gain confidence in life. You do not have to use all of these, but employ the ones that work for you. Neel Burton, M.D writes of ways to do this and are very easy to understand and attempt.

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and a valuable person. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself.

3. Pay special attention to your personal hygiene: for example, style your hair, trim your nails, floss your teeth.

4. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

5. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet. Make meal times a special time, even if you are eating alone. Turn off the TV or radio, set the table, and arrange your food so that it looks attractive on your plate.

6. Exercise regularly: go out for a brisk walk every day, and take more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you break into a sweat) three times a week.

7. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

8. Manage your stress levels. If possible, agree with a close friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular basis.

9. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life.

10. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

11. Involve yourself in activities such as painting, music, poetry, and dance. Artistic endeavors enable you to express yourself, acquire a sense of mastery, and interact positively with others.

12. Create a challenge for yourself that can be realistically achieved...then go do it. In example, learn to play the piano or run a half marathon.

13. Do things that you have been putting off, such as washing the windows, cleaning out the garage, organizing your desk; accomplishment of a task does wonders.

14. Do something nice for others; hold open a door, tip the waiter a little more, get involved with Toys for Tots or a random act of kindness where it is least expected.

15. Involve others, friends and relatives by telling them what you are going through and ask for their advice and support. Shared experiences can be quite helpful.

16. Spend more time with those you love and are close to. In addition to this, try to enlarge that circle of friends by getting out and trying to meet other people.

17. Try to avoid people and places that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. There is no need to put yourself in a negative place.

A lot to think about, but all you have to do is start with just one. One step, one tip, one accomplishment. Soon it will be two, three, one-hundred and you will wonder why you ever thought differently.

Stay inspired my friends.