“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.” - William H. Walton
As we go through life, it is inevitable that we are going to be wronged by someone. There will be someone who says something about you which is not true or takes a prized possession from you. These wrongs that occur can be real acts of being wronged or simply perceived wrongs. Perceived wrongs are many times harder to handle because there is no proof.
Only the aching pain you force upon yourself is evident.
The word grudge is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as; a feeling of ill will or resentment. Synonyms include the words bitterness, rancor, malevolence, enmity, hatred, malice or spite. All of these words are quite unpleasant to hold inside.
To hold a grudge hurts nobody but yourself.
The American actor and comedian Buddy Hackett once said, “I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.” This is so true for a couple of reasons.
First, if the hurt was real and the person who perpetrated it doesn't care; your grudge means nothing to that person. If the person really had made a mistake and is a friend; then you are missing out on having a great relationship.
Secondly, if the hurt is perceived and the other person is not aware of it, then isn't holding a grudge much like talking to a wall? It gets you no where and the wall simply remains bored with you!
The point remains, holding a grudge means you are only holding yourself back.
It is not productive, it wastes your time and hinders your ability to move on in life. I have heard it said that a grudge is like a slow leak, a small hole through which your energy continually seeps. Think about it and see if it is consuming too much of your time and energy; you might be surprised.
~~~~~The following ideas for letting go from Cope Lines
- It helps to let go through a personal ritual that symbolizes letting go of a grudge.
Although your serious side may say you're being silly, have a little ceremony that will evoke positive, empowering feelings whenever you think of your grudge.
- Banish your grudge from your life.
After writing out your feelings about what happened to you, address an envelope to some fictional address in Siberia. Don't put a return address on the envelope so it can't come back. Mail it and imagine it ending up on the other side of the world. Granted, it will never actually make it to Siberia, but it will get lost forever in the U.S. postal system. What counts is that it won't find its way back into your life.
- Talk your feelings through while recording them on a cassette.
Fill both sides of the cassette if you need to. Yell, curse or cry, but get it all out. When you've finished, drop the tape in a recycling bin for plastics. Imagine your useless grudge feelings being transformed into something functional but harmless, like a plastic jug. Or imagine your grudge turning into something very positive and constructive, like sturdy playground equipment for children.
The above are only a couple of ideas, but you get the idea which is to let it go. Enjoy your life and don't be weighed down by grudge.
Get on with it and do yourself a good thing.
Stay inspired my friends!