Forgiving To Move On

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” ― Mark Twain

How do we move forward in life when you have been hurt or angered? All of us will go through life getting hurt or stung by the actions of another person. This can include all aspects whether it be money, love, physically or perception, it happens.

We may not even realize we are holding onto a grudge with someone.

These grudges can be large or small with many of them being over minor things. The large issues in life such as divorce, job loss or other major events are not the things I refer to here. They are the things we must deal with and eventually heal from.

But the small, minor things are those which constantly nag at us, keeping us from releasing ourselves into greatness.

How do you know you are holding a grudge though?

I have heard it said you know it when you go around all day having a mental argument with the other person or situation. You replay it over and over in your mind. And the odd thing is that the other person likely doesn't even know about the grievance.

This grudge can have a devastating impact on your life. It also has other draining effects upon you life such as;

Mental Drain: A grudge can become all-consuming by plotting revenge, replaying what happened to you over and over in your mind, feeling sorry for yourself about being cheated, etc.

Physical Drain: Anger can heighten physical stress, potentially contributing to heart disease, ulcers, and other health problems.

Block to Progress: As long as you nurse a grudge, you won't think about constructive solutions to the problem. Your grudge "blinds" you. Expressing your hurt and asking for an apology gives you practice in assertiveness.

(Source: Cope, Inc.)

An important thing you can do - offer forgiveness internally.

This doesn't mean walking up to the person and stating it. Doing so could cause an even bigger issue. No, the important thing is to resolve the issue internally. Write a note to them, seal the envelope and then burn it.

Allow yourself to let it go so that you can move on.

Doing so releases the other person (knowingly or unknowingly) from never being able to have a relationship at any level with you. It said that in forgiving another person, you remove them from a life sentence. As long as you hold a grudge against them, they will never be able to potentially bring opportunity or goodness into your life.

Holding a grudge prevents you from ever excepting anything from them.

Certainly, opportunity or goodness may never come from them, but opening yourself to the possibility is better then none at all. CS Lewis wrote, "Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive." I say push through and forgive.

Forgive and move on to a better life.

Stay inspired my friends!