Regain Your Life

"Tenacity is key because it keeps you going during tough times, but it must be tempered because sometimes you need to back down or walk away."
- John Stollenwerk

Many people including myself, become very wrapped up in our jobs. Our ability to take time away to relax has been usurped by technology. There are many types of mobile devices, cellphones, satellite and globalization of everything which make it difficult to 'not be available.'

Suddenly you realize it was "picture day" at school.

I call it this because your child had pictures taken at school today and you forgot about it. The pictures still got taken but likely they did not look very good. Or maybe you suddenly find that you missed planning an important birthday or other family event.

It could be time to look at the priorities in your life.

Family or personal events which get pushed to the bottom of the list happen when work becomes all consuming. And when it does happen, you need to realize it and then set some boundaries which will allow you to balance your life in a better manner.

A few rules to consider;

- Turn off technology whenever you can.
Even if you have to start slowly by blocking off Sunday morning as a 'no-cell-phone' or 'no-PC' time zone.

- Send less, get less.
It is said that if you send 20 percent less email, you'll receive 10 percent less. Cut out the quick thank you replies and don't hit "reply all" unless absolutely necessary.

- Make your boundaries known.
You have to be very clear in the workplace that 'no, you are not available on weekends.' When you do this in the beginning and you draw the line, expectations can be managed.

- Don't send email on weekends
Others are also trying to find their own balance. Be respectful of their weekend and others will begin to do the same of your weekend.

- Figure out your own rules, don't adopt somebody else's.
In example, if it is in the service of relaxation (taking electronics on vacation), it can actually help. You start to realize that "ok, I'm not missing anything critical."

The question becomes, what is going to make you more relaxed? Speculating about what might be piling up in your inbox or just doing some sort of check. You figure it out.

Start to regain some sort of balance in your life.

Only then will you regain your life.

Stay inspired my friends!

Barrenness of a Busy Life

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." - Socrates

Like a crazy graph showing the ups and downs of the stock market, my daily work routine can be slow or busy with excruciating deadlines. Like most people, not only do I sometimes have too much on my plate, but I have way too many plates. And I can spin multiple plates with the best of them.

I was so good at it that I managed to lose touch with so much.

So much that I divorced several years back. So much that I lost touch with my sons. So much that I lost touch with my friends. So much that I lost touch with my faith.

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life."

I speak about this in my book Changed Lives. I write about how life can change so much when you lose balance and life begins to spin out of control. What I thought was filling up my life was actually destroying it; slowly and very methodically.

My obsessive compulsive disorder nature was driving me to perfect everything in my work life, that I neglected many other parts.

I have since repaired those parts of my life and reconnected.

I married a wonderful woman and gained four wonderful daughters. I work to improve and maintain the relationship I cherish with my sons. I have reconnected with friends from the past. I have also been reconnected to my faith for several years now.

I work to maintain balance within my life; as much balance as one can aspire to.

Spiritual & Moral, Marriage & Family, Mental & Emotional, 

Physical & Health, Social & Cultural, Financial & Career

Six Spokes Of Life

"Beware the barrenness of a busy life."

Certainly I have not perfected it and probably never will. But I am cognizant of it and will continue to work at it. And like that stock chart, I have to watch it and gauge when my busy schedule is creating barrenness in my life.

This is something I recommend to each of you as well.

Find a way to balance life so that you don't wake up one morning to an empty world. You can spin those plates, tote that bale, pull that barge, but remember there will always be plates, bales and barges. Your life is the one and only one you get.

So beware the barrenness of a busy life.

And stay inspired my friends!

Our Wheel Of Life

The following is a repost of a very popular article I wrote back in June of 2006. It bears repeating and I hope that you enjoy reading it once again.

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."
- Thomas Merton

I listened to a friend of mine, Dean Sweetman, speak about the areas of one's life which need to be tended to in order to have a full and balanced life. These areas are different aspects of our existence. Some of you may know of these, some may not. It is quite possible that you are quite good in one and quite bad in another. But understanding and then acting upon all of them is the important thing, achieving balance is the goal.

There are six areas one must focus on in order to first get your life in order, second to get your life moving in a positive direction and lastly to achieve even greater potential in life. He describes these as the six spokes of life. Think of them as the spokes on the wheel of your life. Without all of them, the wheel can not turn freely.

Your heart and mind is at the hub of this wheel with an ability to change each spoke. As the hub of this wheel, you must tend to each spoke with care and understanding of its importance. The six spokes we speak of here are;

• Financial and Career
• Social and Cultural
• Spiritual and Moral
• Family and Home
• Mental and Emotional
• Physical and Health

Over the next couple of days I'll speak to each of these. It is my belief that a 'full wheel' can take you places. If one or two spokes are gone, in disrepair, the wheel is not complete. It can not take you places in a broken state.

Yet a wheel with all of the spokes can move you. As each spoke improves, the wheel can gain momentum. Accelerating you to a great life is what can happen by understanding these six keys areas of life.

"Everyone is meant to have a great life. Your circumstance should not deter you from experiencing it." - Dean Sweetman

Stay inspired my friends!

Regain Your Balance

“If positivity is not your mindset, then reset” ― Josh Stern

When I was growing up on the farm, we had an over-sized black Labrador Retriever dog named Butch. He was and remains to this day the best dog I have ever been around. Each day when the school bus would pull up at our farm to drop me off, Butch would be laying near a Mulberry tree waiting for me. As I stepped off the bus, he would come galloping up to meet me at the bottom step.

A big and goofy dog at times, he could be very protective of all that he watched over in his domain. It was very comforting to have such a dog out on the farm. In terms of being mans best friend, the term certainly applied to this dog named Butch.

My mother would call him a big lummox.

Butch could be big and clumsy at times, but through that clumsiness, when he regained his balance there was a true sense of his reliability and abilities. Interesting enough each of us have those same moments of clumsiness. It is like being a big lummox, similar to my dog Butch from so many years ago.

I myself have had those moments when I felt like a clown tripping across the stage. Nothing I did seemed to make sense or work in a rational manner. A feeling such as this can put you in a state that just seems very much out of the ordinary.

To regain your balance, think of pushing a reset button on your thinking.

Take a moment, relax and re-adjust your thoughts to get back to your abilities. The stumbling feeling we get can be debilitating when we know we can do better. That feeling will go away when you reset. And be assured, you are not a big lummox.

All you need to do is take that moment, re-adjust, reset and regain control of your domain.

Stay inspired my friends!

Solid Foundation

“Character is like the foundation of a house - it is below the surface.”

There are stories many of us have read regarding failed character of others. There are stories of ponzi schemes run by people whom on the surface were charitable and seemingly very good hearted people. There are the stories of people leading a double life of cheating on a spouse. Or one of many other stories in which a person's underlying character is finally revealed.

You could think of it as a very nice looking home. A new paint job, new roof and a well maintained lawn. You enter the home and enjoy dinner parties with your host. The fireplace always seems to have the right glow to it and everything seems so perfect.

Yet laying just beneath the surface is a poorly laid foundation. Loose rock, cracked blocks and bricks along with poorly prepared soil. It is a foundation that with heavy rain, strong wind or a small earth rumbling will fail.

A house built upon a poor foundation will crumble when trouble occurs.

A life built upon a poor character will crumble when trouble occurs.

The foundation of our life is built upon our character. Others may not at first see what lay beneath but eventually the stones fall away. The facade crumbles and your true character is revealed. The true essence of whom you are will be exposed for all to see.

If you build a strong character, your foundation will last a lifetime and beyond. Your character is what determines who you really are. Paint fades, a book cover weathers away but your character can last forever if the foundation is solid.

Build a strong character as your foundation for a great life. An article describes five things to think about.

1. Understand what character and Integrity are.

The definitions of these words are often stretched or misrepresented. Learn what they truly mean:

Character is the sum of qualities show up in a person or group, moral or ethical strength, and the description of a person's attributes, traits and abilities.

Character is who you are. It defines you and guides your actions, hopefully in a positive way.

Integrity is steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code, being unimpaired, sound, whole and undivided; completeness.

Integrity can be summed up simply as doing the right thing for the right reason even when no one is watching.

2. Choose a set of rules, morals, or principles that you believe will lead to a happy, satisfying, and righteous life, as well as a better world.

3. Look at the choices you've made in your past, and observe how much you have or haven't lived by those principles. Don't waste time feeling regretful or guilty.

4. Decide what you must change in your behavior to align your life more closely to what you believe.

5. Be conscious every day of the decisions you make, however big or small, and how close they bring you to being the person you really want to be.

Your character is a huge part of your life's foundation. Build it strong and your life will be strong and lasting. A rock solid foundation that will withstand even the hardest of times. And should your foundation crumble from a weakness, then rebuild your life repairing those areas of your life that need strengthening. Repair and maintain a balanced wheel of life that will roll on and on and on.