Confidence To Succeed

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

The life we live is not restrained by outside things but by the chains we place upon ourselves. An act of self-doubt and worry will do more to keep us from moving forward then most anything else. There are certainly outside influences which can place obstacles in front of us.

It is within each of us to have confidence to succeed.

The origin of the word is from the Latin word confidere (to trust, to have faith in). Hence the original meaning of confidence is literally "to have trust or have faith in an object or person".

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do." To find confidence is to look inside and face those things which keep you from moving forward.

Learning about oneself is the first step in moving boldly forward. You need to understand you are a confident person.

From an article titled Building Self-Confidence, the following items can help you start to recognize yourself as a confident person.

Self-Confident: Doing what you believe is right, even if others criticize you for it.
Low Self-Confidence: Governing your behavior based on what other people think.

Self-Confident: Taking risks and going the extra mile to achieve better things.
Low Self-Confidence: Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, avoiding risks.

Self-Confident: Admitting your mistakes and vowing to learn from them.
Low Self-Confidence: Work to cover mistakes and trying to fix before others know.

Self-Confident: Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments.
Low Self-Confidence: Extolling your virtues as often to as many people possible.

Self-Confident: Accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.”
Low Self-Confidence: Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.”

Additionally, here are some tips on how to gain confidence in your life.

1. Like yourself

The first step in becoming more confident is to accept and like yourself. You should make a list of all your positive traits and strengths on a piece of paper or in your diary. By doing this, you are reminding yourself that you too have praise-worthy qualities like others. You will like yourself and feel confident about yourself after this.

2. Attend Seminars

It is good if you attend seminars where professional speakers offer you tips and guidance on gaining confidence. During the speech, you can even pick up tips on public speaking from the speakers by watching their body language and the way they project themselves.

3. Motivate yourself

Whether it is for an interview or for a presentation, tell yourself that you can do it. Motivate yourself each day and soon you will find your confidence level growing. Another good way for motivation is that after work or study each day you should make a list of at least four things that you did well for that day.

4. Overcome fears

Some people always have a fear that they can never be successful in anything they do. Such insecurity will be a disadvantage and would cause you to lack confidence in yourself and in everything you do in your life. So in order for you to get rid of this fear you have to remind yourself that if you haven’t try something you can never say that you will fail in it. Be positive and try things without any fear or insecurity. For example at work your boss is asking you to head a team but you fear that you will make a mess out of it. Such a fear will prevent you from taking on that task at work. But if you were a confident person you wouldn’t think twice about failing and would gladly take on that task. This shows that a lack of confidence could also affect your career.

5. Accept Failures

If you are always crying over the mistakes that you made in your life, you will never get anywhere. Always remember that past mistakes and failures cannot be reversed and what’s done is done. Thus it is no use crying over spilt milk. A confident individual always looks past those failures in his life. After all, failures are juts part and parcel of becoming successful. If you failed once you should take that failure as a learning lesson.

While the information above is quite simplified, I suggest you read more to find what works best for you. Find a public library near you or search online for more information. Reading my article is not the end all to help you gain confidence, but maybe it will put you on a path to go boldly forward.

Stay inspired my friends!

Stand Out in Confidence

Andrew Rich (Getty Images)

"Confidence comes from not being afraid to fail. And when I do fail, I just say, Okay, I'll fix it." - Ben Kaufman

I was reading an iVillage online magazine article some time back which provided a "confidence checklist." It contained the following items;

- People who believe in themselves take charge of their actions.
- They act assertively, speak calmly and listen properly.
- They're flexible towards people, circumstances and all things new.
- They're able to give genuine praise and to accept constructive criticism.
- They evaluate themselves realistically.
- They appreciate their achievements.
- They learn from their mistakes.
- They aren't run by 'shoulds', 'musts' and 'ought tos'.
- When an opportunity comes up they say 'Why not?' rather than 'Why?'
- They feel they can influence situations and outcomes.

I am reminded of being confident as I watch the various young children during Halloween. This year I dressed up as the Sesame Street character Oscar the Grouch. As expected with very young children, there will be varying degrees of confidence shown. Some will come right up and shake your hand while others will scurry behind their parent to hide.

The development of confidence occurs at different rates.

Confidence is within all of us, but whether it shines through or whether it remains hidden can depend upon how we are treated as children and young adults. Were you encouraged, were you constantly being scared, were you nourished, were you diminished; many things will shape our lives.

As we get older though and take greater responsibility for our lives, the ability to be confident is inside you regardless of how your life was shaped. in who we are and what our abilities are will grow stronger. You can change, you can learn to be more confident in all that you do.

Dr Brian Roet, author of The Confidence to be Yourself, suggests you self-reflect in three ways to help gain or regain your own confidence:

1. Know yourself

Think about the sort of person you are. Think about your dominant personality characteristics. Then identify what motivates you; what challenges you; what frightens you; and what pleases you. Examine what you want out of life, long term, as well as what you currently give, and take, from it. Put all this together to reveal a holistic picture of who you are.

2. Like yourself

Now, ask yourself, do you approve of the person you see? Or do you feel negative and critical and guilty about who you are? It's more likely that you experience a combination of all these reactions. Write down all your good points. If this is too difficult to do alone, get a friend to help? They might be able to perceive what you can't. Read over your list. Focus on it. Recognise it to be true. Remember it. Trust it.

3. Accept yourself

To find the meaning of confidence, and to get closer to achieving it, we have to, first of all, accept the way we are ? today. Tell yourself that you can still aim for improvements for the future, but that you are happy with yourself in the present.

Finding confidence within oneself will enable you to accomplish and enjoy so much more in life. Look for and find the confidence that resides within you.

And stay inspired my friends!