“The thing about denial is that it doesn't feel like denial when it's going on.” ―Georgina Kleege
When does denial become harmful? It does so at the point when the denial is found out to be untrue. Such is the case of Lance Armstrong and his denials of drug doping during his perceived stellar cycling career. It becomes harmful to the many that believed in his success. It becomes harmful to those that were attacked by his denials. It becomes harmful to the individual, the one making the denials.
Denial itself is simply a person's inability or unwillingness to recognize that they are unable or unwilling to face a painful reality. Denial (of reality) exists, but why?
The question is how we as intelligent humans with the ability to analyze complex information ignore facts that clearly lay in front of us? This ability to refuse seeing those facts even when ignoring them might have disastrous results.
Part of the problem is that many things are simply neither just true or false. People experience a wide range of powerful and very complex emotions. There is desire, greed, pride, revenge, need for status, shame, humiliation, and others. Each of these will command a strong influence over that person's ability to interpret facts.
Yes, we have to learn how to control those emotions and make wise decisions based upon facts. But fact-based decision-making is really in short supply because we continue to see bad decisions made based upon emotions. Researchers indicate that you can also attribute other dynamics such as ideology (substitution of belief for facts), inertia (taking the easy way out), momentum (willing obstacles out of our way), impulsiveness (now) and stubbornness (no one will change my mind). As one researcher put it, "we can easily push facts off to a far corner behind several pieces of heavy mental furniture."
Reality Bites
To admit to the reality means basically that we are potentially admitting to the limitations we may have in our life. And that can be a very restrictive feeling, so deny the facts and live in denial. The problem is that denial is not a long-term answer.
Reality will always catch up with you. You will either spend yourself into debt, eat to an unhealthy weight, destroy a relationship or found to have actually used performance enhancing drugs.
What usually follows is blame. Blame of something or someone else as the reason for your denials. It only lengthens the road to foregiveness and renewal. But blame is a subject for a different time.
My Advice
All of us will likely fall prey to denial at some point or another. The best thing you can do is learn how to control emotion over fact. Learn how to distinguish between the two. Learn how to recognize denial early on. Yes, not to go into denial is the best course you can take. But if you do, recognize it quickly, admit it quickly and seek the reality quickly.
Stay inspired my friends.
