Don't Feed The Anger

"Flying off the handle sometimes causes hammers and humans to lose their heads, as well as their effectiveness." - William Arthur Ward

There have been many stories in recent weeks in which people have lost their cool and struck out in anger. Some of these stories have been related to rightful or wrongful involvement of law enforcement. Other stories have been of hateful, terroristic people doing unspeakable harm to others.

Yet there are even more daily stories, some reported by the new but many that go unseen except for those near and close. These are stories of simple everyday anger boiling to the surface. These stories are of anger, hate and rage and come in many different forms.

Anger can turn into rage which can lead to pain for all involved.

A question you might ask yourself is what possesses people when they get behind the wheel of a car? A story in the Glendale, California News-Press told the story in which a man was stabbed after an incident of road rage. Most certainly these incidents are typically fueled by both parties. But why do we carry a large "chip on our shoulder" when driving our car?

There are many reasons, but I believe it comes from anger.

Not necessarily anger coming from the other person's actions, but anger generated from what is going on in one's own life. In the example of road rage, the anger could be stirred up by the stress of traffic after a long day at work. We are tired, we may not have gotten the raise we had hoped for or needed.

It could be one of a hundred other reasons which have placed that seed of anger inside of us. We then get behind the wheel of our car and the anger spills over to be taken out on another person. That other driver is just some non-descript person who happens to be in the sights of your anger.

An unsuspecting stranger who is probably having a bad day as well.

Anger is "...an assertion of the individual's most basic right to being an individual," as described by Dr. Stephen Diamond. When all else seems to be out of your control, job, bills, relationships, traffic; we can let forth anger to stake our ground.

We reach a point of lashing out and try to take back what we feel is lost.

And anger is never about the other person, place, or thing. Anger is our reaction to those things. Those things do not dictate our anger. We dictate our own anger and emotion; we control our own attitude.

You get to choose how you will react.

Many times it take simple self-control; stopping and counting those ten seconds, or taking a deep breath to fight back the anger. But if you find that you simply can not control your anger, then you need to find professional help.

Anger unchecked can have devastating consequences for both you, your loved ones and others who cross paths with. Just think of the lives impacted by the road rage incident in Glendale, California. Lives directly and indirectly altered by unchecked anger. Think of the bigger issues causing anger which are in the news.

Anger only begets anger.

Don't feed your anger.

Starve it in any manner that you can. For if you do not, the anger will feed on you and consume your life.

Stay inspired my friends.

How To Avoid Road Rage

“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” Horace (Ancient Roman Poet. 65 BC-8 BC)

My recent article on road rage spurred several responses about how one can control themselves. So over the weekend I read a few articles and thought I would share them with each of you. Anger that develops from within your vehicle is oddly enough something we would normally never allow to surface in other social situations.

And yes, driving is a social situation. It is a gathering of people in vehicles using the same roadways, attempting to reach a particular destination. There are laws and rules to driving which vary slightly from one place to another. There are also unwritten laws of courtesy and willingness to 'let it go'.

The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety studied more than 10,000 incidents of violent aggressive driving committed between 1990 and 1996, it found that at least 218 people were killed and another 12,610 injured when drivers got angry. Many drivers involved in these incidents are men between the ages of 18 and 26, anyone can become aggressive if they let their anger take precedence over safe driving.

The AAA Foundation study found that men, women, and people of all ages can drive aggressively if they are in the wrong mood or circumstances. when drivers explained why they became violent the reasons are often incredibly trivial: “She would not let me pass,”“They kept tailgating me,” or, as this one driver accused of murder explained, “He practically ran me off the road — what was I supposed to do?”

(Source: ROAD RAGE - HOW TO AVOID AGGRESSIVE DRIVING)

So what can you do to avoid allowing yourself to start or become involved in an incident?

1. Don't offend: you know what they are, the same things that irritate you. Cutting people off, driving slow in the left lane, tailgating or making gestures. If it irritates you, chances are pretty good you doing the same things irritates others.

2. Don't engage: the old saying that it "takes two to tango." Another driver may start it, but if you respond or retaliate, then your as much at fault. Just refuse to be drawn into it, be the bigger person. The other person may be fuming, but you remaining calm and steer clear of the situation. As the article says, would you want your pilot on the plane flying and acting this way?

3. Adjust your attitude: make the drive more pleasant, it isn't a contest. The first one there is not what its about. And maybe there is some reason that person nearly drove you off the road...a bee entered the window and startled them?! Put yourself in their shoes and even if no, it isn't worth doing something you will likely regret later.

If you think you need help, find it before you go too far and commit a much greater offense. Avoid being an aggressive driver and learn how to avoid becoming a victim. There is a lot more to life then stressing behind the wheel of a car. Be safe.

Road Rage - Why?

A recent news item in the Atlanta area told of a tragic death. A death that could have happened in any populated area, any city or country. Another death that happens in our society whether from illness, murder, drugs among all of the deaths that happen.

This type of death though tends to mystify me, road rage. A strange event that seems to develop from our inability to control our emotions or attitude while driving. Matthew Joint says, "in its broadest sense it can refer to any display of aggression by a driver. However, the term is often used to refer to the more extreme acts of aggression, such as a physical assault, that occur as a direct result of a disagreement between drivers."

A young father driving with his wife and young child is involved in a road rage incident with another man - he ends up dead of stab wounds. I'm not passing judgement on either person for that is the job of the court system. I do know from all accounts that 'road rage' involves two people. In most cases, each person has a part they played in a situation escalating.

Each of us have been involved most likely in some form of driving 'lapse of mental control'. It is some sense of 'territorial' behavior when we get within a car that causes us to loose a certain amount of reason. We are a better driver then everyone else, or we take offense at another's driving habits. Most incidents never grow beyond your own thoughts. Many times the other driver is unaware of your irritation.

Once the other driver is made aware though, by either a look or gesture from you. It may even be you becoming aggressive by deciding to 'retaliate' in some form with your own driving skill. It is this point which you have crossed and now the chances of this escalating into road rage have increased.

This increase can result in possible car damage, yelling at each other or possibly physical altercations. The ultimate ending being someone dead from the senseless actions. Stop and think for a minute, does it really make sense to let it get this far? If someone cut you off in traffic, tailgated too much...whatever the case may be, is it worth the potential pain. A young wife and daughter living in pain, another person now changing their own life forever.

To read more about this and what you can do to change your habits and avoid these types of incidents, see the following article Aggressive Driving: Three Studies. Stay alive, stay stress free and change your way of driving...there's a lot more to life.