“Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you.” Horace (Ancient Roman Poet. 65 BC-8 BC)
My recent article on road rage spurred several responses about how one can control themselves. So over the weekend I read a few articles and thought I would share them with each of you. Anger that develops from within your vehicle is oddly enough something we would normally never allow to surface in other social situations.
And yes, driving is a social situation. It is a gathering of people in vehicles using the same roadways, attempting to reach a particular destination. There are laws and rules to driving which vary slightly from one place to another. There are also unwritten laws of courtesy and willingness to 'let it go'.
The AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety studied more than 10,000 incidents of violent aggressive driving committed between 1990 and 1996, it found that at least 218 people were killed and another 12,610 injured when drivers got angry. Many drivers involved in these incidents are men between the ages of 18 and 26, anyone can become aggressive if they let their anger take precedence over safe driving.
The AAA Foundation study found that men, women, and people of all ages can drive aggressively if they are in the wrong mood or circumstances. when drivers explained why they became violent the reasons are often incredibly trivial: “She would not let me pass,”“They kept tailgating me,” or, as this one driver accused of murder explained, “He practically ran me off the road — what was I supposed to do?”
(Source: ROAD RAGE - HOW TO AVOID AGGRESSIVE DRIVING)
So what can you do to avoid allowing yourself to start or become involved in an incident?
1. Don't offend: you know what they are, the same things that irritate you. Cutting people off, driving slow in the left lane, tailgating or making gestures. If it irritates you, chances are pretty good you doing the same things irritates others.
2. Don't engage: the old saying that it "takes two to tango." Another driver may start it, but if you respond or retaliate, then your as much at fault. Just refuse to be drawn into it, be the bigger person. The other person may be fuming, but you remaining calm and steer clear of the situation. As the article says, would you want your pilot on the plane flying and acting this way?
3. Adjust your attitude: make the drive more pleasant, it isn't a contest. The first one there is not what its about. And maybe there is some reason that person nearly drove you off the road...a bee entered the window and startled them?! Put yourself in their shoes and even if no, it isn't worth doing something you will likely regret later.
If you think you need help, find it before you go too far and commit a much greater offense. Avoid being an aggressive driver and learn how to avoid becoming a victim. There is a lot more to life then stressing behind the wheel of a car. Be safe.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Road Rage - Why?
A recent news item in the Atlanta area told of a tragic death. A death that could have happened in any populated area, any city or country. Another death that happens in our society whether from illness, murder, drugs among all of the deaths that happen.
This type of death though tends to mystify me, road rage. A strange event that seems to develop from our inability to control our emotions or attitude while driving. Matthew Joint says, "in its broadest sense it can refer to any display of aggression by a driver. However, the term is often used to refer to the more extreme acts of aggression, such as a physical assault, that occur as a direct result of a disagreement between drivers."
A young father driving with his wife and young child is involved in a road rage incident with another man - he ends up dead of stab wounds. I'm not passing judgement on either person for that is the job of the court system. I do know from all accounts that 'road rage' involves two people. In most cases, each person has a part they played in a situation escalating.
Each of us have been involved most likely in some form of driving 'lapse of mental control'. It is some sense of 'territorial' behavior when we get within a car that causes us to loose a certain amount of reason. We are a better driver then everyone else, or we take offense at another's driving habits. Most incidents never grow beyond your own thoughts. Many times the other driver is unaware of your irritation.
Once the other driver is made aware though, by either a look or gesture from you. It may even be you becoming aggressive by deciding to 'retaliate' in some form with your own driving skill. It is this point which you have crossed and now the chances of this escalating into road rage have increased.
This increase can result in possible car damage, yelling at each other or possibly physical altercations. The ultimate ending being someone dead from the senseless actions. Stop and think for a minute, does it really make sense to let it get this far? If someone cut you off in traffic, tailgated too much...whatever the case may be, is it worth the potential pain. A young wife and daughter living in pain, another person now changing their own life forever.
To read more about this and what you can do to change your habits and avoid these types of incidents, see the following article Aggressive Driving: Three Studies. Stay alive, stay stress free and change your way of driving...there's a lot more to life.
This type of death though tends to mystify me, road rage. A strange event that seems to develop from our inability to control our emotions or attitude while driving. Matthew Joint says, "in its broadest sense it can refer to any display of aggression by a driver. However, the term is often used to refer to the more extreme acts of aggression, such as a physical assault, that occur as a direct result of a disagreement between drivers."
A young father driving with his wife and young child is involved in a road rage incident with another man - he ends up dead of stab wounds. I'm not passing judgement on either person for that is the job of the court system. I do know from all accounts that 'road rage' involves two people. In most cases, each person has a part they played in a situation escalating.
Each of us have been involved most likely in some form of driving 'lapse of mental control'. It is some sense of 'territorial' behavior when we get within a car that causes us to loose a certain amount of reason. We are a better driver then everyone else, or we take offense at another's driving habits. Most incidents never grow beyond your own thoughts. Many times the other driver is unaware of your irritation.
Once the other driver is made aware though, by either a look or gesture from you. It may even be you becoming aggressive by deciding to 'retaliate' in some form with your own driving skill. It is this point which you have crossed and now the chances of this escalating into road rage have increased.
This increase can result in possible car damage, yelling at each other or possibly physical altercations. The ultimate ending being someone dead from the senseless actions. Stop and think for a minute, does it really make sense to let it get this far? If someone cut you off in traffic, tailgated too much...whatever the case may be, is it worth the potential pain. A young wife and daughter living in pain, another person now changing their own life forever.
To read more about this and what you can do to change your habits and avoid these types of incidents, see the following article Aggressive Driving: Three Studies. Stay alive, stay stress free and change your way of driving...there's a lot more to life.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Life Will Change
A recent quote from actor Tim Allen said, "change is all we really have so why do I let it get to me? Because something in me wants stability, but it is never stable, is it?" All of us look for consistency in our lives. We like the idea of things getting to a likable level and want it to just remain there.
Think of it as driving down the freeway in your car, a vacation trip long overdue. You have set the cruise control at 75 miles per hour, the sky is blue and spring has blossomed with flowers and the green of a new summer all around you. The love of your life is riding with you, maybe the kids or friends are there. Even your music is just right, things are all well. Your biggest wish is that the entire trip continues in this manner.
But then traffic begins to build, the cruise control no longer is an option. Road construction ahead and someone needs to use the rest room as well. What about something to eat, we're all getting hungry and tired. Things change, life changes things, it just happens...that is life.
How we deal with change is the determining factor in how we succeed or fail. By understanding that change will occur on a very unexpected schedule, you will be able to adapt and move on. Not all change is bad remember, but it shakes things up and makes you adjust your life. You can fight change, try to hold things the same. Doing so can be like building sand castles in the surf of a beach. A losing battle that frustrates and fails to accomplish your fight to keep life the same.
Some of the change is predictable or at least foreseeable. Good friends of ours have great change in front of them for their son. The son will have to live the major change and adapt to living in a completely different way. Their story could be any kind, you could plug most any story line into it and the simple fact of change remains. Their lives will have pain and sorrow but then attitude will take hold.
They will have to be strong and positive for the son, for themselves. It will be necessary to find the good things and the long term possibilities that this change brings upon them. Fighting against the tide will only weaken them and not give that support the son will greatly need. With family and friends in support, our friends will change themselves through this experience. They will let go of past hurts that prevented them from taking the positive approach to life and change.
Movement is occurring for them at this time, movement is occurring for you as well. Change will happen as sure as the sun will rise in the morning. Embrace change and find stability for yourself within it.
Think of it as driving down the freeway in your car, a vacation trip long overdue. You have set the cruise control at 75 miles per hour, the sky is blue and spring has blossomed with flowers and the green of a new summer all around you. The love of your life is riding with you, maybe the kids or friends are there. Even your music is just right, things are all well. Your biggest wish is that the entire trip continues in this manner.
But then traffic begins to build, the cruise control no longer is an option. Road construction ahead and someone needs to use the rest room as well. What about something to eat, we're all getting hungry and tired. Things change, life changes things, it just happens...that is life.
How we deal with change is the determining factor in how we succeed or fail. By understanding that change will occur on a very unexpected schedule, you will be able to adapt and move on. Not all change is bad remember, but it shakes things up and makes you adjust your life. You can fight change, try to hold things the same. Doing so can be like building sand castles in the surf of a beach. A losing battle that frustrates and fails to accomplish your fight to keep life the same.
Some of the change is predictable or at least foreseeable. Good friends of ours have great change in front of them for their son. The son will have to live the major change and adapt to living in a completely different way. Their story could be any kind, you could plug most any story line into it and the simple fact of change remains. Their lives will have pain and sorrow but then attitude will take hold.
They will have to be strong and positive for the son, for themselves. It will be necessary to find the good things and the long term possibilities that this change brings upon them. Fighting against the tide will only weaken them and not give that support the son will greatly need. With family and friends in support, our friends will change themselves through this experience. They will let go of past hurts that prevented them from taking the positive approach to life and change.
Movement is occurring for them at this time, movement is occurring for you as well. Change will happen as sure as the sun will rise in the morning. Embrace change and find stability for yourself within it.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Influence Upon Change
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Maya Angelou
There are days when you get bouts of reflection regarding people you know. Family, friends or co-workers. Each of us tend to develop thoughts and beliefs about those people, looking to see what they will become.
It may be a troubled teen that just seems to fight against understanding. Or the co-worker that just doesn't understand the meaning of succeeding in their job. Each of them on a path that you have no control over. As I have written before, you dictate your own attitude and path within life. There will be influences upon your life, but you have choice.
That influence I speak of is also something that each of us possess and on others. You can have positive influences and negatives influences upon others. Choose the positive ones and watch that person change over time. You'll be surprised by all of those changes that it takes to create this new person.
Yet when it happens and you see the grand butterfly of a person's life unfold, it will be due to all of those changes, all of those influences by many others including yourself.
There are days when you get bouts of reflection regarding people you know. Family, friends or co-workers. Each of us tend to develop thoughts and beliefs about those people, looking to see what they will become.
It may be a troubled teen that just seems to fight against understanding. Or the co-worker that just doesn't understand the meaning of succeeding in their job. Each of them on a path that you have no control over. As I have written before, you dictate your own attitude and path within life. There will be influences upon your life, but you have choice.
That influence I speak of is also something that each of us possess and on others. You can have positive influences and negatives influences upon others. Choose the positive ones and watch that person change over time. You'll be surprised by all of those changes that it takes to create this new person.
Yet when it happens and you see the grand butterfly of a person's life unfold, it will be due to all of those changes, all of those influences by many others including yourself.
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