Hello...Can You Hear Me?

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." ~George Bernard Shaw

Hello out there, can anybody hear me? For that matter, am I listening to know if I can hear anybody out there?

Communication is such a key element of our life's journey. As I was researching for this article, I wanted to understand why often times communication between two people can seem to go so badly. In Merriam-Webster's dictionary, communication is defined as; a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.

So this would mean we relate to each other through the spoken word, the written word, hand gestures, body movement and also non-verbally. Each of these methods are varied in their application and delivery. They vary from culture to culture, city to city, and even family to family. We all have a learned concept of what communication is and means.

Ignoring those differences in what each of believe is "communication" leads to misunderstandings, arguments, divorce, lawsuits and even war. I certainly wouldn't leave out all of the other things that cause disagreements such as money, possessions, sex, or many other causes. But today we focus on communication.

Not being able to learn how to communicate with other people only increases your chances of having problems with those other people. Like a good or bad attitude, it really starts with you.

Are you willing to slow down and listen? This is probably one of the things I work on the most and most of us need to work on as well.

Think about the old toy you may have created as a child. Two tin cans connected by a long piece of string to create a Tin Can Phone. While it may seem like a silly example, it took cooperation on both ends to get it to work.

For one, both people had to ensure the string remained tight between the cans. If one person leaned in, the string would slacken and nothing could be heard.

Second, if both people started talking at the same time, nothing could be heard. Like a walkie-talkie, the communication is half-duplex, which means only one person can talk and the other has to listen.

Lastly, the person speaking has to speak clearly while the person listening really has to listen carefully. Remember that this is a tin can phone so the quality isn't very good.

But then again, most of our daily conversations with other people is like a tin can phone conversation. Too many times we are talking at the same time and not listening. Too many times we are not speaking clearly enough or in a way to make ourself understood. Too many times we are not cooperating with each other in this two-way conversation. And too many times we simply are not listening closely or with enough attention.

This is when communication breaks down.

So how do we improve our communication with each other then? I think you will find your answers in most everything I said above. There are no easy fixes because a list of "things to do" is not the only answer.

Practicing good communication skills is a start. More important though is learning to slow down and listen more carefully. This doesn't leave out the person talking because speaking clearly, writing, and gesturing are important as well.

Good communication starts with you. You can begin the steps to improve communication between yourself and others. Good communication is a skill that will help as you live the journey of your life....your best life.

Music the Smelly Way

"The discovery of song and the creation of musical instruments both owed their origin to a human impulse which lies much deeper than conscious intention:  the need for rhythm in life… the need is a deep one, transcending thought, and disregarded at our peril." ~Richard Baker

Today I'd like to direct your attention to my son's blog called Smelly Dog Music. It is a blog that takes you from one artist to the next like a potluck dinner filled with so many different tastes.

I must admit that I always thought I knew my music but he has done me one better for which I'm proud. Music has always meant a lot to me in my life and it appears that craze has blossomed in him.

The point I have about music is that it can add so much to your life. Don't be put off by the name of the website, Smelly Dog Music. Its safe, nothing to cringe or be afraid to look at. See it as an adventure for your mind, your soul, and your well being. It is another door to step through on your journey of life.

There is so much out there to learn and experience. Things that will guide you to a great life. Music is one of those guide posts along the way, luring you to your destination, motivating you to continue the journey.

Take a step through the door to Smelly Dog Music and see what new things you find. Pass along the music, the website, your thoughts to other people. Pretty soon, you may find others humming the same tune as you are.

Delta Airlines Hurrah

"Well done is better than well said." ~Benjamin Franklin

The humor and complaints abound out there regarding airlines and failed customer service. The airline industry takes a pretty good beating on this front each and every day. Some of it is certainly brought on by the airlines themselves. I myself have had complaints of bad customer service and very silly airline policies.

Each day there are roughly 87,000 flights in the skies in the United States. One-third of these are commercial carriers, like American, United, Southwest, or Delta. So over 28,500 commercial flights, major and regional airlines, are in the skys each day here in the United States. It amounts to a lot of people, a lot of careful routing of planes in the air as well as coordinated takeoffs/landings occurring.

The possibility of delays and other problems is very likely on a decent day. Throw in a major storm in the Atlanta area, which is a huge connection point, congestion in Chicago, or computer problems; it escalates into controlled pandemonium pretty quickly.

People will get frustrated pretty quickly at this point. Their frustration is compounded by their anxiety over flying to begin with. Many are flying for only the first or second time and trying to deal with the whole check-in process. The added baggage fees which shouldn't catch them by surprise but still does irritate. And yes, baggage fees being charged seperate from the ticket price just seems dumb from a customer service perspective.

Now that the first steps inside the airport have heightened their blood pressure, security becomes the next step. Standing in line, do I have the right or wrong things in my carry-on? Are my papers in order? My God these lines are so long, will I make my flight? How far should I strip down to go through the security machines? What if the alarms go off?

The anxiety simply builds and builds and builds.

Relax is all I can say.

There are plenty of people working for the airlines that really do try to make your experience a good one. It may not seem so and I will agree there are some airline and airport employees that really need a different day job.

For me, I have to give a 'thumbs up' to an online Delta Agent. I wish I knew her name but she came through and is an example of great customer service. A needed flight change for myself and a brother that will be travelling overseas in January had me worried. But she handled it professionally, quickly, efficiently and was just very nice about it.

These types of people do exist in the airline industry. They do exist in everyday business. We might have a lot of anxiety and not notice it, but these people do exist. And when you notice it, let them know of your appreciation.

When you are at the airport and start getting frustrated, calm down, smile and see if you can get that good nature mirrored back to you. Just understand that adding to the mayhem isn't going to make the experience any more enjoyable. By injecting a smile or kind word could turn things around tremendously for you. It can make the journey a lot better to travel.

Negative Flu Bug

"Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life." ~Annette Goodheart

For the second time in a month I have come down with a flu bug. The first one occurred while visiting our new grand daughter in Los Angeles. That one was tough as it kept me from holding the little one until the final day or so. This current bug reappeared this week just before a scheduled business trip to the northwest.

My belief is that the second occurrence is just a re-emergence of the same bug. I guess in the medical sense I never fully got rid of the flu bug to begin with. It waited and festered inside until a new opportunity to emerge appeared.

So fighting the flu bug while sitting at home, it gave me reason to think about how similar it is to a bad attitude. Negative thoughts and feelings are very much like a flu bug. They weaken and destroy you little by little until you reach a point of desperation.

Then someone gives you a book, provides an encouraging word and you watch an inspiring movie. The negativity lifts and you feel better. But you know in some fashion that you have not rid your life of those feelings completely.

Those negative thoughts hide just beneath the surface, waiting, waiting. It could be a few days or a few weeks, but then you let your guard down. Maybe a small complaint, maybe a negative thought, and the negativity makes its way back to the surface. Before you realize it, the bad attitude and bad thoughts are consuming your life again.

Again you battle the thoughts and attitudes, looking for something to change their course. Its a difficult cycle to be in swinging from sickness to feeling good. It gets old in time and harder to combat as the negative attitude takes its toll on you.

So like a flu bug, we need to fight it off and destroy them to the best of our ability. We then need to see the symptoms and learn to fight them off sooner before they encompass our life.

A bad attitude can have a debilitating effect upon your life. Take a flu shot of positive affirmation just like you get the flu shot. You'll have a better journey and a greater life along the way.