Whom Is Pointing At Whom

"I was an accomplice in my own frustration." ~Peter Shaffer

Recently I was lucky enough to experience the woe that some call airplane travel that was compounded by bad weather. I travel out of Atlanta, Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, which happens to be the worlds busiest airport. This means to get most anywhere in the United States, you probably will have to connect through this airport.

It also means that bad weather in other parts of the country can have a cascading effect upon travel out of Atlanta. This was the case just recently when bad winter storms and very cold weather in the Atlanta area slowed the whole kit and kaboodle to an agonizing delay.

In particular, my 7:05PM flight finally boarded at 10:00pm, left the gate at 11:00PM, got through the de-icing process by 11:30PM and made it to Seattle five hours and forty-five minutes later due to strong head winds. The bright side is that I would expect the return trip to only take four hours.

So during this delay, the airport concourse was filled with quite a few people. I normally wander off to the Delta SkyClub, but it was over-flowing and I didn't feel like standing in line to enter; being number fifty in line didn't bode well for me. So I sat at the 'new' gate we were to fly out of and watched people.

Its an amazing thing to see how people react in the varied ways. Some can be seen to sit back and let it all flow. Some are busy as a bee, trying to work the next deal, the next flight, to be in control of the uncontrollable. Others are mad as hell and aren't going to take it anymore.

These last people are the intriguing ones to me. I find in most cases that the anger comes from two basic things; frustration and anxiety. Frustrated by the situation which is out of their control. Anxiety over the delays, being tired and simply not knowing what to do.

One particular lady was very, very angry with the gate agent. As best I could tell she was off in a restaurant/store/bar on the concourse, believed this was the gate to come to, which it was originally, but failed to recognize it had changed.

Now I will state that the gate agent, the monitors and general posting of information seemed a bit confusing as it did change a fair amount. My gate alone changed three times. Alerts that should have gone out to cell phones and such didn't seem to be occurring. Many people complained of that, but I knew well enough to just stay informed as best I could. My angry lady didn't see it that way. Her frustration boiled over into a yelling tirade at the airline employees.

There is a lesson to be learned in customer service. Suffice to say that a calm, no worry demeanor in front of a frustrated customer can have a bad effect upon them. You can come off seeming not to care when all you are doing is trying to remain calm. Empathy can go a long way in these situations.

And this particular lady was having none of it. She was mad, she was tired, she was irritated and most of all, frustrated. She pointed all of her anger at one airline employee, the airline, the airport and I think anyone within ear-shot of her.

But while she was pointing that finger in the face of anyone standing in her view, could she not see the three fingers pointing back at her?

We have control over how we react in times such as these. Could we pay a little more attention to what is going on around us? Maybe our own actions have contributed to a situation that we now find ourselves in.

Sure, there are many things out of our control. But we can control how we respond. We can influence the situation with our own actions.

Remember that you are many times not the innocent bystander in a given situation. You have played a role in creating the predicament. But you can also play a role in resolving it.

Calm down, examine truthfully why you now believe you are in this situation and work to find some type of solution. Yelling and screaming typically yields little and is like a quick but very short lived sugar rush.

Take a look at what you can do to redirect your energy from being angry and frustrated. Direct that energy towards resolution and you'll see so much more get accomplished in your life.

Hello...Can You Hear Me?

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." ~George Bernard Shaw

Hello out there, can anybody hear me? For that matter, am I listening to know if I can hear anybody out there?

Communication is such a key element of our life's journey. As I was researching for this article, I wanted to understand why often times communication between two people can seem to go so badly. In Merriam-Webster's dictionary, communication is defined as; a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.

So this would mean we relate to each other through the spoken word, the written word, hand gestures, body movement and also non-verbally. Each of these methods are varied in their application and delivery. They vary from culture to culture, city to city, and even family to family. We all have a learned concept of what communication is and means.

Ignoring those differences in what each of believe is "communication" leads to misunderstandings, arguments, divorce, lawsuits and even war. I certainly wouldn't leave out all of the other things that cause disagreements such as money, possessions, sex, or many other causes. But today we focus on communication.

Not being able to learn how to communicate with other people only increases your chances of having problems with those other people. Like a good or bad attitude, it really starts with you.

Are you willing to slow down and listen? This is probably one of the things I work on the most and most of us need to work on as well.

Think about the old toy you may have created as a child. Two tin cans connected by a long piece of string to create a Tin Can Phone. While it may seem like a silly example, it took cooperation on both ends to get it to work.

For one, both people had to ensure the string remained tight between the cans. If one person leaned in, the string would slacken and nothing could be heard.

Second, if both people started talking at the same time, nothing could be heard. Like a walkie-talkie, the communication is half-duplex, which means only one person can talk and the other has to listen.

Lastly, the person speaking has to speak clearly while the person listening really has to listen carefully. Remember that this is a tin can phone so the quality isn't very good.

But then again, most of our daily conversations with other people is like a tin can phone conversation. Too many times we are talking at the same time and not listening. Too many times we are not speaking clearly enough or in a way to make ourself understood. Too many times we are not cooperating with each other in this two-way conversation. And too many times we simply are not listening closely or with enough attention.

This is when communication breaks down.

So how do we improve our communication with each other then? I think you will find your answers in most everything I said above. There are no easy fixes because a list of "things to do" is not the only answer.

Practicing good communication skills is a start. More important though is learning to slow down and listen more carefully. This doesn't leave out the person talking because speaking clearly, writing, and gesturing are important as well.

Good communication starts with you. You can begin the steps to improve communication between yourself and others. Good communication is a skill that will help as you live the journey of your life....your best life.

Music the Smelly Way

"The discovery of song and the creation of musical instruments both owed their origin to a human impulse which lies much deeper than conscious intention:  the need for rhythm in life… the need is a deep one, transcending thought, and disregarded at our peril." ~Richard Baker

Today I'd like to direct your attention to my son's blog called Smelly Dog Music. It is a blog that takes you from one artist to the next like a potluck dinner filled with so many different tastes.

I must admit that I always thought I knew my music but he has done me one better for which I'm proud. Music has always meant a lot to me in my life and it appears that craze has blossomed in him.

The point I have about music is that it can add so much to your life. Don't be put off by the name of the website, Smelly Dog Music. Its safe, nothing to cringe or be afraid to look at. See it as an adventure for your mind, your soul, and your well being. It is another door to step through on your journey of life.

There is so much out there to learn and experience. Things that will guide you to a great life. Music is one of those guide posts along the way, luring you to your destination, motivating you to continue the journey.

Take a step through the door to Smelly Dog Music and see what new things you find. Pass along the music, the website, your thoughts to other people. Pretty soon, you may find others humming the same tune as you are.

Delta Airlines Hurrah

"Well done is better than well said." ~Benjamin Franklin

The humor and complaints abound out there regarding airlines and failed customer service. The airline industry takes a pretty good beating on this front each and every day. Some of it is certainly brought on by the airlines themselves. I myself have had complaints of bad customer service and very silly airline policies.

Each day there are roughly 87,000 flights in the skies in the United States. One-third of these are commercial carriers, like American, United, Southwest, or Delta. So over 28,500 commercial flights, major and regional airlines, are in the skys each day here in the United States. It amounts to a lot of people, a lot of careful routing of planes in the air as well as coordinated takeoffs/landings occurring.

The possibility of delays and other problems is very likely on a decent day. Throw in a major storm in the Atlanta area, which is a huge connection point, congestion in Chicago, or computer problems; it escalates into controlled pandemonium pretty quickly.

People will get frustrated pretty quickly at this point. Their frustration is compounded by their anxiety over flying to begin with. Many are flying for only the first or second time and trying to deal with the whole check-in process. The added baggage fees which shouldn't catch them by surprise but still does irritate. And yes, baggage fees being charged seperate from the ticket price just seems dumb from a customer service perspective.

Now that the first steps inside the airport have heightened their blood pressure, security becomes the next step. Standing in line, do I have the right or wrong things in my carry-on? Are my papers in order? My God these lines are so long, will I make my flight? How far should I strip down to go through the security machines? What if the alarms go off?

The anxiety simply builds and builds and builds.

Relax is all I can say.

There are plenty of people working for the airlines that really do try to make your experience a good one. It may not seem so and I will agree there are some airline and airport employees that really need a different day job.

For me, I have to give a 'thumbs up' to an online Delta Agent. I wish I knew her name but she came through and is an example of great customer service. A needed flight change for myself and a brother that will be travelling overseas in January had me worried. But she handled it professionally, quickly, efficiently and was just very nice about it.

These types of people do exist in the airline industry. They do exist in everyday business. We might have a lot of anxiety and not notice it, but these people do exist. And when you notice it, let them know of your appreciation.

When you are at the airport and start getting frustrated, calm down, smile and see if you can get that good nature mirrored back to you. Just understand that adding to the mayhem isn't going to make the experience any more enjoyable. By injecting a smile or kind word could turn things around tremendously for you. It can make the journey a lot better to travel.