No Easy Way To Cry

"I wish you sunshine on your path and storms to season your journey. I wish you peace in the world in which you live... More I cannot wish you except perhaps love to make all the rest worthwhile." -Robert A. Ward

We fill our daily existence with the things currently at hand. The bits of getting to work, working through the day and the little things we do to end the day. We tend to lose focus on family and friends at times. It is the immediate and near that capture our attention.

I am no different then each of you in that respect. I can get consumed by what is within my small area of existence. But once in a while you get a shock to that existence. Recently this happened to me and it reverberates in my mind still.

Having friends that were once very close, we drifted apart by distance and time. Donna and Lyle are the kind of truly great people that everyone should have as friends. I have kept loose contact with Lyle over the years, missing the nearer connection we once had.

So it was with heart break that I had learned that their daughter passed away in May of 2006. Two years ago, could it be possible that we let our friendship slip this far. To know that their beautiful and very talented daughter was taken from them so young in her life.

Shelley was 18 years old, a gifted student and athlete. I like to say that she obtained all beauty, grace and talents from her mother Donna. This mostly as a gentle ribbing to her father Lyle. Along with her brother Scott, this family is just wonderful, yet now with one missing piece.

The loss of a child hurts beyond anything I could possibly write or imagine. As Lyle said in a news article, "We loved her very much and we’re going to miss her like I can’t even describe.

David Gray put out a song a few years back entitled "Easy Way To Cry." The words he sings could speak into many different types of relationship loss. For me the lyric he sings which has the most meaning, the only thing that I could possibly so to my friends, "there ain't no easy way to cry."

Hold onto those around you and let them know you care and love them.

Visions Realized

"Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin." -Kathleen Norris

What a world this could be if we arose each morning knowing exactly what would happen that day. The entire day's events would be laid out in front of us. We would know that traffic was going to be nightmarish and that first cup of coffee gets spilled on a report due later in the morning.

We could plan that lunch time meal is going to be great and that the afternoon will be filled with lots of bathroom breaks due to the salad dressing. The work day is going to end with your boss congratulating you on a great report despite the coffee stain. The evening sets up to be very relaxing before you will head off to sleep.

Having this type of vision would be great for planning where you are headed and how you will get there. You will be able to avoid the spilled coffee and that lunch time salad. But too bad to say, our life isn't that simple to foresee. All we can do is set our sight on a goal to achieve; for the day; for the week; for our life.

What happens many times is out of our control. What is in our control is how we react to it. If we hold onto the vision of what we want, then our path remains in focus. Now granted, the path is unlikely to be straight and easy. In fact, your vision may appear to be off in one direction while the road is leading in another.

Keep the vision in sight, correct your path towards that vision and you will eventually reach it. Overcome the daily obstacles that you know will come into your life. Accept that the path isn't necessarily easy. You will succeed at reaching your vision, believe in it.

Life By Example

"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." -Mark Twain

Kindness and gratitude to others in life is a simple thing to do. A smile to the grocery clerk, a thank you or letting someone into traffic are not so difficult. Live your life with meaning so that all will learn by your example.

Growing Happiness

"The positive effect of kindness on the immune system and on the increased production of serotonin in the brain has been proven in research studies. Serotonin is a naturally occurring substance in the body that makes us feel more comfortable, peaceful, and even blissful. In fact, the role of most anti-depressants is to stimulate the production of serotonin chemically, helping to ease depression.

Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness. Even more amazing is that persons observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results.

Imagine this! Kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved! " ~ Wayne Dyer

So one may ask, 'where do I get this serotonin stuff?" Well, serotonin is naturally produced within the Pineal gland deep in the center brain. As adults, we possess only 5 to 10 mg of serotonin, 90 % of which is in the intestine and the rest in blood platelets and the brain.

One of its roles is to be a neurotransmitter, a sort of relay station that allows the many functions in our bodies (control of appetite, sleep, memory and learning, temperature regulation, mood, behaviour, cardiovascular function, muscle contraction, endocrine regulation and depression) all to function properly.

But how do you get more? Well, it is found that the most effective way of raising levels of serotonin is with vigorous exercise. Studies conducted show levels increase when we increase our level of physical activity. This is the safest way of increasing serotonin levels as well as the many other benefits result from regular exercise.

Your serotonin levels can also be controlled through the diet. A diet deficient in omega-3 fatty acids may lower brain levels of serotonin and cause depression. Complex carbohydrates raise the level of tryptophan in the brain resulting in a calming effect. Vitamin C is also required for the conversion of tryptophan into serotonin.

There is a connection to happiness that has been found as well. Serotonin is key to our feelings of happiness and very important for our emotions because it helps defend against both anxiety and depression.

Happiness itself does not produce or increase the production of serotonin, but it can trigger increased levels of serotonin. Without serotonin, there would be no happiness. But understanding how your happiness can improve your attitude, which in turn changes much of your outlook on life in general.

As I wouldn't pretend to be a doctor, I encourage you to read more. Find out about your health and body. What makes it function, what things cause your physical and mental well being to be in a better state. It is part of tending to all six spokes of life. Find a way to chart your life and all of the parts within it.

And to start, be happy!

Teamwork Synergy

"Synergy is the highest activity of life; it creates new untapped alternatives; it values and exploits the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people." -Stephen Covey

Our world today is a wired, full-on technology wonder. We go about our day texting and being able to look up information at the click of a mouse button. The invention of the computer, Internet, cell phones and all the other gizmo and gadgets have changed our world dramatically.

But there was another huge invention that profoundly changed human existence by illuminating the night and making it possible for humans to experience the night time. Something that seems rather odd to imagine, but imagine a night without the light bulb. It is one of the every day conveniences that most affects our lives. It was invented in 1879 by Thomas Alva Edison.

He was not the first nor only person trying to invent an incandescent light bulb. At one point after being successful in bringing light to the night, many considered him an absolute genius. They marvelled at how he alone was able to achieve this great success. When asked though why he had a team of twenty-one assistants, he would say, "if I could solve all the problems myself, I would."

As it is, we are all brilliant in our individualism, think of how much greater that brilliance is as a group of people supporting and helping each other. So it is in life that if you make connections with other people, building friendships, when something needs to be solved in your life, collectively the support network is there.

"Teams share the burden and divide the grief." ~Doug Smith

There is a great story told by ex-Navy pilot Charles Plumb. On his seventy-sixth combat mission, he was shot down and parachuted into enemy territory. He was captured and spent six years in prison from which he survived.

One day, a man in approached Plumb and his wife in a restaurant, and said, "Are you Plumb the navy pilot?"

"Yes, how did you know?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb was amazed - and grateful: "If the chute you packed hadn't worked I wouldn't be here today..."

Plumb now refers to this story lectures he gives about his experiences. He refers to it as his realisation that the anonymous sailors who packed the parachutes held the pilots' lives in their hands, and yet the pilots never gave these sailors a second thought; never even said hello, let alone said thanks.

Now Plumb asks his audiences, "Who packs your parachutes?..... Who helps you through your life?.... Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?....... Think about who helps you; recognise them and say thanks."

Collectively we can make a big difference in life. We can make change happen as a group of people moving together, helping each other. Alone you can cause a ripple effect in the water that touches others. Together we create lots of ripples and much bigger waves upon the shore of life.

So give yourself forgiveness to know that we can not always do it alone. Especially as men, we fight with pride and honor in our attempts to master all that happens in our life. Take that forgiveness and allow yourself to connect with others. Max Depree, writer and former CEO of the Herman Miller furniture company said, "Without forgiveness, there can be no real freedom to act within a group."

Take your life and the lives of others to a higher level. There is so much left to do and we can accomplish a lot if we do it together.

Telling Stories

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives." -William James

Many times we go through life believing that the path we are on was pre-chosen for us. All we can see is one narrow vision of a road that leads off in a direction that we simply are not happy with. So we try to adapt to the road, to the scenery and make the best of our travel.

We may pass an intersection along our way and wonder. We stop at this crossroads and see something different on the horizon of the other path. Our interest is heightened but the Garmin in our mind tells us to 'stay on our own path'. So we continue down the same path, but with a growing sense that this isn't the correct one.

The feeling grows until one day you are standing at another 'crossroads of life' and make that decision to make a change in life. It is this change that I want to hear about. I want to hear your story of change in attitude, in personal revelation or change in direction.

These stories of change can impact other people and that's what we can do together. We will impact others with our stories of what we did to change the course of our lives. I have heard some say things such as, "no one would want to hear my story", or "it was such a small and insignificant thing." Those are precisely the stories I want to hear about. They are precisely the stories that other people need to hear.

Leave a lasting impact for all of time for others to hear. Send me your story of change, the thing that happened which changed it all for you. We are gathering these stories to share with those that might be standing at their own crossroads and are unsure.

Send your story to me at josephprimm@bellsouth.net.

These stories will become part of a book that will impact others. You can find yourself helping others with something as simple as your own story. If you are unsure, then guess what...you may very well be standing at that crossroads looking down the path at a new horizon.

Make a difference, make a change, tell your story....

Finding Happiness

Happiness depends upon ourselves. -Aristotle

The trailer for the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" was on the other night and it was a great reminder to me. It is only yourself that can determine your happiness in life. There are great obstacles and circumstances in life that can make it very difficult. Yet it is up to the individual.

Happiness as defined by Harvard social psychologist William McDougall is that "people can be happy while in pain and unhappy while experiencing pleasure; To understand this, two kinds of happiness must be distinguished: feel-good and value-based. Feel-good happiness is sensation-based pleasure. When we joke around or have sex, we experience feel-good happiness. Since feel-good happiness is ruled by the law of diminishing returns, the kicks get harder to come by. This type of happiness rarely lasts longer than a few hours at a time."

Value-based happiness is a sense that our lives have meaning and fulfill some larger purpose. It represents a spiritual source of satisfaction, stemming from our deeper purpose and values. We experience value-based happiness when we satisfy any of the 16 basic desires--the more desires we satisfy, the more value-based happiness we experience. Since this form of happiness is not ruled by the law of diminishing returns, there is no limit to how meaningful our lives can be.

So the clinical view of happiness can be examined and debated, but the one thing every study shows is that happiness is individualistic. Those that were experiencing this 'value-based' happiness were much happier for a much longer time. The 'feel good' happiness was short lived; much like the sugar rush from a candy bar.

So find something longer lasting for your life that makes you happy. Choose to find 'Happyness' in your life.

Change To Move Others

Things happen in our lives when we 'step out in change'. We each have a story we can tell about what it is we did or what happened that changed our life. I would like to hear your story, those of life changing events, the ones that either moved you or caused you to shift things in your life.

You may think that "no one would have interest in MY STORY." But you might be surprised and I'd like to collect these stories to share with others. If your story moves even one person to make a change for the better, that 'ripple' from your life has again done something good for another.

Our own humanity is a community of people learning from each other. The stories we tell each other come from the past, recent past, the young, the old and everyone in-between. These stories could have been moved by faith or circumstance. Even the smallest story of success or inspiration will touch many others.

Email your story to josephprimm@bellsouth.net and I will do the rest. I'll collect these stories and make them available to everyone. Don't worry, I won't use your full name but will let you know that I received it. You can pass along this request to family, friends, neighbors, co-workers or others that may have a story to share.

We can touch others with our stories of break-through. Each of us have a story that can inspire or encourage others. There are others out there waiting to hear your story which will move them to make change in their life.

Thank you and let's effect change for others.

Joseph Primm
Atlanta, GA
josephprimm@bellsouth.net

Dance To Feel Good

"You have to learn that if you start making sure you feel good, everything will be okay." -Ruben Studdard

The following video pretty much speaks for itself. Each of us will take many things away from this but I believe one of those things will be feeling good afterwards. The video is safe and viewable by all ages. Pay attention to the dance style and where he is...something for everyone.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

For more about this video, visit Matt's site. Thank you Matt, the ripples of what you do are touching so many. Everything is going to be okay.

Inspirational Steps

Picture comes from Sarah Binette's blog.

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." -Frank Tibolt

The hardest thing to do when achieving a goal is in taking that first step. We sit and procrastinate and plan and ponder, trying to set the entire course out. We then over think the course we are going to take, allowing doubt to creep in.

To sit all day reading inspirational books and watching motivational speakers on television extol great words will not put us closer to our dreams unless we take that first step. By creating movement, other things move in your life.

Some will say it is God moving in your life, others say it is opportunity moving in your life while others will say it is karma. Whatever your belief is, the movement will place you on a course in which you will find opportunity and inspiration.

This course may not be the one envisioned while sitting there planning your future. But as you move, things that you had not envisioned will present themselves for you to take hold of. Yet it all begins with a single step.

Inspire yourself to stand up and move, create a wave with your movement and ride the waves of other peoples movement. Grab hold of the sun and use it to light the path to your goals.

Course Of Life

"Even though I focus on the priorities in life; God, Family and everything else, I drift. My humanity pulls me off course. Life will always have a way of doing this. Learn to recognize that you have drifted and then correct your course. Align yourself to what is important." -Dean Sweetman

It happens to all of us, we are cruising along the highway of our lives and we become distracted. We take a wrong turn or see something off to the right that looks interesting. The path we are taking goes off in a direction that pulls us from what we know is important for our own life.

Accept that each of us stray from our own path and that finding our way back is always possible. Learn from the experience and let it give you greater strength to keep on track.