Out Of The Comfort Zone

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." - Alan Alda

It is easy to become confined within the everyday sameness of life. We repeat everything over and over because it is what we do. There is comfort in doing the same thing over and over again. So we train ourselves to get into these patterns and work to avoid any surprises.

When something outside of that comfort zone occurs, it surprises us, we shriek and complain. But our comfort zone is there and we expend our efforts to returning to our singular place of comfort.

The problem is the comfort zone will never help you reach goals.

I read an article called Stepping out of My Comfort Zone. The writer describes a life of running nearly every day. The same thing, over and over again. It was a life pretty much confined to what was comfortable. As life often does, a knee problem arose which was not completely debilitating, but presented a need to make new choices.

Choices are there if we are willing to look for them.

We often have the sameness of our daily lives upset by little circumstances. Our nature is to work hard to get back into our old comfort zone; onto that same Hot Wheels(R) track.

So what choice do you have?

For the writer above, the choice might be to have surgery, physical therapy and lots of training to get back into running form. This can be done with no guarantee other than knowing when done you will be at the same place you started. Don't get me wrong as there are plenty of cases where this is the right decision.

Just bear with me as I make my point.

Working hard to get back to the same place you started does not stop time. We end up back on the same treadmill running in place; in place within our comfort zone. Is that we wanted to simply return to where we were?

Our second choice is to take the change as opportunity. We could choose to use the diversion as a way to propel us to something new and greater. The runner mentioned above pushed herself to try something different. She got off that straight track and out of her comfort zone. She is still physically active but became involved in an organization dear to her heart.

Her life stepped forward to something greater; find something greater.

Life will tend to "push us out the door" of our comfort zone at various times. Will we turn and rush back inside? Or will we choose to observe life by looking towards the future horizon?

Let life push you off the couch and out into the wilderness.

Be amazed by what you will find out there ... you.

Stay inspired my friends!

The Comfort Zone

Comfort Zone: "a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk."

Each of us have one of those things we call our "comfort zone" in which we stand. We can even see that our abilities should allow us to stretch our boundaries.

What can you find outside of your comfort zone will never be found until you step out. Taking a chance to stretch beyond you ability will present you with new and greater things. You see, it is said that we exist in one of the following conditions.

- We want to maintain our current comfort zone.
- We are dissatisfied with current conditions and want to move to another comfort zone.
- We were suddenly thrust from our comfort zone and want back in.
- We need to make decisions without supporting facts.

The comfort zone can be a decision making tool.

There are many different reasons for either staying or wanting to move beyond or to another comfort zone in our lives. But nothing can be done without a decision. Even staying in one place requires a decision to keep things the same.

So how do you break habits; how do you step out of your comfort zone? Here’s a few suggestions on how to do it from Adrian Savage:

Understand the truth about your habits. They always represent past successes. You have formed habitual, automatic behaviors because you once dealt with something successfully, tried the same response next time, and found it worked again. That’s how habits grow and why they feel so useful. To get away from what’s causing your unhappiness and workplace blues, you must give up on many of your most fondly held (and formerly successful) habits. and try new ways of thinking and acting. There truly isn’t any alternative. Those habits are going to block you from finding new and creative ideas. No new ideas, no learning. No learning, no access to successful change.

Do something—almost anything—differently and see what happens. Even the most successful habits eventually lose their usefulness as events change the world and fresh responses are called for. Yet we cling on to them long after their benefit has gone. Past strategies are bound to fail sometime. Letting them become automatic habits that take the controls is a sure road to self-inflicted harm.

Take some time out and have a detailed look at yourself—with no holds barred. Discovering your unconscious habits can be tough. For a start, they’re unconscious, right? Then they fight back. Ask anyone who has ever given up smoking if habits are tough to break. You’ve got used to them—and they’re at least as addictive as nicotine or crack cocaine.

Be who you are. It’s easy to assume that you always have to fit in to get on in the world; that you must conform to be liked and respected by others or face exclusion. Because most people want to please, they try to become what they believe others expect, even if it means forcing themselves to be the kind of person they aren’t, deep down.

You need to start by putting yourself first. You’re unique. We’re all unique, so saying this doesn’t suggest that you’re better than others or deserve more than they do. You need to put yourself first because no one else has as much interest in your life as you do; and because if you don’t, no one else will. Putting others second means giving them their due respect, not ignoring them totally. Keeping up a self-image can be a burden. Hanging on to an inflated, unrealistic one is a curse. Give yourself a break.

Slow down and let go. Most of us want to think of ourselves as good, kind, intelligent and caring people. Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it isn’t. Reality is complex. We can’t function at all without constant input and support from other people. Everything we have, everything we’ve learned, came to us through someone else’s hands. At our best, we pass on this borrowed existence to others, enhanced by our contribution. At our worst, we waste and squander it. So recognize that you’re a rich mixture of thoughts and feelings that come and go, some useful, some not. There’s no need to keep up a façade; no need to pretend; no need to fear of what you know to be true

There is much you probably want to achieve in your life. By stepping "out of the ordinary" into areas of discomfort, your world will expand. With that expansion will be greater opportunity and success.

Stay inspired my friends!

To Goatee Or Not To Goatee

"The hardest battle you're ever going to fight is the battle to be just you." - Leo Buscaglia

I have seen many men that can easily carry a moustache, beard, or goatee upon their face. The neatly trimmed or scraggly beard that adorn each one is individual in nature. I marvel at how comfortable they are with the look.

For me, it had been many years since I last carried any hair upon my face. In my twenties it was a moustache red as can be. There was no use in trying to grow a beard because any attempt looked like a map of the Caribbean Islands. so I settled for the narrow place between my upper lip and nostrils.

I felt decent with a moustache but eventually shed it for a smooth and clean shaven look. Call it the changing times of fashion or simply feeling it was not the real me. So for twenty plus more years, I have diligently shaved my face each morning.

And than a few weeks ago the urge to grow a goatee came upon me. I'm not sure why, but it felt like something I should try. So I set about the task to grow and maintain a decent goatee along with the patch of area above my lip. The full redness had disappeared as my years have grown, the gray colors dominating the look.

Eventually it filled in and I started to get used to the feel of it. There were those that said it looked good. Others that simply humored me I think. And there were those that plainly said it just wasn't me. I tried to wear the goatee with comfort but inside I felt the same; it just wasn't me.

Was I trying to be or look like somebody else? Was I trying to hide behind a new look or trying to create a new image? I can honestly say I'm not sure which, but I do know that it just wasn't me.

What I did find is that the real me had to shave off the goatee. The real me was not going to stand behind a face of hair that looked like one person, but sounded like another. I was going to be the real me once again, so I shaved off the gray and red upon my face. When I looked in the mirror, all I could say was hello to me again.

Do you try to hide behind something you are not? Is there a real you waiting to come out and be the person you are meant to be? You need to shave off those feelings and costumes that we hide behind. We need to live our lives as the real us...the real you.

The time will come when the facade we carry needs to come down. Be bold and be the person you are inside. And stay inspired.

Build a Home

"Seek home for rest, for home is best." -Thomas Tusser

Coming home, it is a wonderful feeling when one has been on the road. Whether it has been a short trip down the road to another city, or a long journey to another country, returning home is always a comforting event.

As much as we try to expand our horizons with new experiences and places, we tend to be home bodies at heart. Home is the one place where you will always find those closest to you. A wife or husband, father or mother, child or friend; those that know you most dearly.

When I travel, the vast majority of people I meet are for the most part quite friendly. They are ready to help you with whatever you need and genuinely ready to assist in most any way.

But the hotels are different from my own house. The food is different from my wife's cooking. The sounds and atmosphere simply do not have the same familiar feel. When I come home though, I can slow down from the hectic pace and be among close family and friends. All of the familiar come rushing back once again to ease my soul and calm my life.

In your daily life, many of the stresses you encounter can be absolved simply by coming home. Do not make your home a stressful one. Make your home a comforting one, a home that nourishes and rejuvenates the soul.

There is a great quote by the famed poet Maya Angelou. She says, "The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned." It means to me that we should build a home that we will always ache for when we are not there.

Stay inspired my friends and enjoy the quiet comfort of home.

Comfortable Skin

"I'm okay in my skin, you know... I'm okay with who I am." ~Dana Plato

So many years ago, I had quite a bit of shyness in my personality. I'm not quite sure where it came from as I remember in my mind not being that way in the early days of elementary school. Then for some unknown (and not really important) reason I remember third grade being the point of rising shyness.

I think much of it came from becoming self-consciousness. I know I had become aware around that time of many physical differences being pointed out by other kids. And no, I'm not blaming anything in my life on my childhood or others. It is a realization that came to me sometime back that actually helped me put it all to rest.

The bright red hair I had became a source of discomfort and torment. Although the 'old women' always thought it was cute. My thin and gangly body that really was not athletic despite my best efforts added to the discomfort of growing up.

One could probably say that I developed very thin skin over those years. It also was the excuse I used for not enjoying so many of those years in my youth. Wasted time, wasted opportunity as I look back on it. I only have myself to point at for those years gone by. But when the day came that I let it go, that I became "comfortable in my own skin" was the day that life changed.

We each can become comfortable by better understanding ourself. The more you understand why you react, why you feel, why you are who you are, then the comfort begins to take over. I guess a lot of that really causes one to become more self-confident which then brings on the comfort.

In Psychology Today there is an article by Barton Goldsmith that provides ten steps to help you build that confidence. And as I say, you can read these articles over and over, but until you start moving or actually doing these things, nothing will change.

Today I still have tendencies to be shy and lacking confidence, but I have also learned to recognize these things. And in knowing that, I can quickly work to overcome them so that I never miss another day to enjoy. Become comfortable with who you are and enjoy each of your days as well.