No Easy Way To Cry

"I wish you sunshine on your path and storms to season your journey. I wish you peace in the world in which you live... More I cannot wish you except perhaps love to make all the rest worthwhile." -Robert A. Ward

We fill our daily existence with the things currently at hand. The bits of getting to work, working through the day and the little things we do to end the day. We tend to lose focus on family and friends at times. It is the immediate and near that capture our attention.

I am no different then each of you in that respect. I can get consumed by what is within my small area of existence. But once in a while you get a shock to that existence. Recently this happened to me and it reverberates in my mind still.

Having friends that were once very close, we drifted apart by distance and time. Donna and Lyle are the kind of truly great people that everyone should have as friends. I have kept loose contact with Lyle over the years, missing the nearer connection we once had.

So it was with heart break that I had learned that their daughter passed away in May of 2006. Two years ago, could it be possible that we let our friendship slip this far. To know that their beautiful and very talented daughter was taken from them so young in her life.

Shelley was 18 years old, a gifted student and athlete. I like to say that she obtained all beauty, grace and talents from her mother Donna. This mostly as a gentle ribbing to her father Lyle. Along with her brother Scott, this family is just wonderful, yet now with one missing piece.

The loss of a child hurts beyond anything I could possibly write or imagine. As Lyle said in a news article, "We loved her very much and we’re going to miss her like I can’t even describe.

David Gray put out a song a few years back entitled "Easy Way To Cry." The words he sings could speak into many different types of relationship loss. For me the lyric he sings which has the most meaning, the only thing that I could possibly so to my friends, "there ain't no easy way to cry."

Hold onto those around you and let them know you care and love them.

Visions Realized

"Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin." -Kathleen Norris

What a world this could be if we arose each morning knowing exactly what would happen that day. The entire day's events would be laid out in front of us. We would know that traffic was going to be nightmarish and that first cup of coffee gets spilled on a report due later in the morning.

We could plan that lunch time meal is going to be great and that the afternoon will be filled with lots of bathroom breaks due to the salad dressing. The work day is going to end with your boss congratulating you on a great report despite the coffee stain. The evening sets up to be very relaxing before you will head off to sleep.

Having this type of vision would be great for planning where you are headed and how you will get there. You will be able to avoid the spilled coffee and that lunch time salad. But too bad to say, our life isn't that simple to foresee. All we can do is set our sight on a goal to achieve; for the day; for the week; for our life.

What happens many times is out of our control. What is in our control is how we react to it. If we hold onto the vision of what we want, then our path remains in focus. Now granted, the path is unlikely to be straight and easy. In fact, your vision may appear to be off in one direction while the road is leading in another.

Keep the vision in sight, correct your path towards that vision and you will eventually reach it. Overcome the daily obstacles that you know will come into your life. Accept that the path isn't necessarily easy. You will succeed at reaching your vision, believe in it.

Life By Example

"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." -Mark Twain

Kindness and gratitude to others in life is a simple thing to do. A smile to the grocery clerk, a thank you or letting someone into traffic are not so difficult. Live your life with meaning so that all will learn by your example.

Growing Happiness

"The positive effect of kindness on the immune system and on the increased production of serotonin in the brain has been proven in research studies. Serotonin is a naturally occurring substance in the body that makes us feel more comfortable, peaceful, and even blissful. In fact, the role of most anti-depressants is to stimulate the production of serotonin chemically, helping to ease depression.

Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates the production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness. Even more amazing is that persons observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results.

Imagine this! Kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved! " ~ Wayne Dyer

So one may ask, 'where do I get this serotonin stuff?" Well, serotonin is naturally produced within the Pineal gland deep in the center brain. As adults, we possess only 5 to 10 mg of serotonin, 90 % of which is in the intestine and the rest in blood platelets and the brain.

One of its roles is to be a neurotransmitter, a sort of relay station that allows the many functions in our bodies (control of appetite, sleep, memory and learning, temperature regulation, mood, behaviour, cardiovascular function, muscle contraction, endocrine regulation and depression) all to function properly.

But how do you get more? Well, it is found that the most effective way of raising levels of serotonin is with vigorous exercise. Studies conducted show levels increase when we increase our level of physical activity. This is the safest way of increasing serotonin levels as well as the many other benefits result from regular exercise.

Your serotonin levels can also be controlled through the diet. A diet deficient in omega-3 fatty acids may lower brain levels of serotonin and cause depression. Complex carbohydrates raise the level of tryptophan in the brain resulting in a calming effect. Vitamin C is also required for the conversion of tryptophan into serotonin.

There is a connection to happiness that has been found as well. Serotonin is key to our feelings of happiness and very important for our emotions because it helps defend against both anxiety and depression.

Happiness itself does not produce or increase the production of serotonin, but it can trigger increased levels of serotonin. Without serotonin, there would be no happiness. But understanding how your happiness can improve your attitude, which in turn changes much of your outlook on life in general.

As I wouldn't pretend to be a doctor, I encourage you to read more. Find out about your health and body. What makes it function, what things cause your physical and mental well being to be in a better state. It is part of tending to all six spokes of life. Find a way to chart your life and all of the parts within it.

And to start, be happy!