Conversation with the Inner Self by Sheba Sharrow
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Your Inner Self
“You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them.” - Richard Bach (author of 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull)
All of us have this inner self that we listen to and argue with. Yes, you can have an argument with yourself. It is your inner attempt to reconcile or deal with information. One may think that we are of a single mind so therefore no conflict should exist. Yet it does and some may call this self actualization. This is the process of understanding oneself more completely and being aware of issues affecting one's life.
From The Conscious and Unconscious Mind by Kendra Van Wagner, according to Sigmund Freud, the mind can be divided into two main parts:
1. The conscious mind includes everything that we are aware of. This is the aspect of our mental processing that we can think and talk about rationally. A part of this includes our memory, which is not always part of consciousness but can be retrieved easily at any time and brought into our awareness. Freud called this ordinary memory the preconscious.
2. The unconscious mind is a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that outside of our conscious awareness. Most of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. According to Freud, the unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences.
Two parts of us at conflict with each other. It is this inner-self that you must attempt to deal with in order to better handle what life sets before you. I'm not certain any of us fully reach a point in which we completely understand our inner self. But we all need to reconcile ourselves to that inner voice. Once you have done this, it releases you to move forward in life to go after your dreams.
"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision." - Joseph Primm
All of us have this inner self that we listen to and argue with. Yes, you can have an argument with yourself. It is your inner attempt to reconcile or deal with information. One may think that we are of a single mind so therefore no conflict should exist. Yet it does and some may call this self actualization. This is the process of understanding oneself more completely and being aware of issues affecting one's life.
From The Conscious and Unconscious Mind by Kendra Van Wagner, according to Sigmund Freud, the mind can be divided into two main parts:
1. The conscious mind includes everything that we are aware of. This is the aspect of our mental processing that we can think and talk about rationally. A part of this includes our memory, which is not always part of consciousness but can be retrieved easily at any time and brought into our awareness. Freud called this ordinary memory the preconscious.
2. The unconscious mind is a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that outside of our conscious awareness. Most of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. According to Freud, the unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences.
Two parts of us at conflict with each other. It is this inner-self that you must attempt to deal with in order to better handle what life sets before you. I'm not certain any of us fully reach a point in which we completely understand our inner self. But we all need to reconcile ourselves to that inner voice. Once you have done this, it releases you to move forward in life to go after your dreams.
"Believe in your vision, act upon your vision and realize your vision." - Joseph Primm
Monday, June 26, 2006
Open Heart for a Great Life
The idea of trying to make a change based upon things one does not understand can be difficult. Stepping into the unknown without a full clue as to the outcome is a daunting transition. Yet making change is never done in a completely blind manner. All of us do a certain amount of research and soul searching on anything we do.
Some will talk to others for advice, some dive into books, while others pour over internet web pages to seek information. This is done in an attempt to fill our physical mind with an understanding of the situation. Attention is then turned to what some call that 'gut feeling'. This is an attempt to satisfy the heart. It is also referred to as turning to the spirit that lives within us. Whatever it is you call it, your heart drives this part of the decision making process.
The sad part is that there are many people who do not make change because they allow the mind to dominate the process. They do not allow their heart to have an equal chance. Why do we do this to ourselves?
It is because what you can not understand or control, you reject it. If you can not grasp it, human nature (the natural part of us) wants to understand it completely. If this part of us can not do so, we discard and turn from it. This is where the heart comes into use.
There are going to be things in this life beyond your control. Certainly humans are constantly in search of the 'answers' to everything presented before us. Everything must be rationalized and categorized and completely analyzed. This is a good and natural thing for us to do. But at certain points in our individual lives, there will be things beyond your control or understanding. At this point you turn to your heart and simply have to accept it on faith.
Your heart will tell you if it is right for you or not. It is not meant to say that because your heart accepts it on faith that others are wrong. It does not mean that you are wrong for accepting it because others didn't. It only means that you are right in your own heart in combination with the natural process as it relates to you.
Change takes us to the unknown sometimes. To a place that the natural thought process can not fully provide answers to. Let your heart help you accept change on faith that making a move to better your life is the correct decision.
"Human nature is designed to limit ourselves to all of the possibilities life has for us", as related to me by Dean Sweetman. What he wants, what I want, what all of us want is to allow our hearts to open us up to those possibilities for a greater life. Each person deserves a great life and most importantly, you deserve that great life.
Some will talk to others for advice, some dive into books, while others pour over internet web pages to seek information. This is done in an attempt to fill our physical mind with an understanding of the situation. Attention is then turned to what some call that 'gut feeling'. This is an attempt to satisfy the heart. It is also referred to as turning to the spirit that lives within us. Whatever it is you call it, your heart drives this part of the decision making process.
The sad part is that there are many people who do not make change because they allow the mind to dominate the process. They do not allow their heart to have an equal chance. Why do we do this to ourselves?
It is because what you can not understand or control, you reject it. If you can not grasp it, human nature (the natural part of us) wants to understand it completely. If this part of us can not do so, we discard and turn from it. This is where the heart comes into use.
There are going to be things in this life beyond your control. Certainly humans are constantly in search of the 'answers' to everything presented before us. Everything must be rationalized and categorized and completely analyzed. This is a good and natural thing for us to do. But at certain points in our individual lives, there will be things beyond your control or understanding. At this point you turn to your heart and simply have to accept it on faith.
Your heart will tell you if it is right for you or not. It is not meant to say that because your heart accepts it on faith that others are wrong. It does not mean that you are wrong for accepting it because others didn't. It only means that you are right in your own heart in combination with the natural process as it relates to you.
Change takes us to the unknown sometimes. To a place that the natural thought process can not fully provide answers to. Let your heart help you accept change on faith that making a move to better your life is the correct decision.
"Human nature is designed to limit ourselves to all of the possibilities life has for us", as related to me by Dean Sweetman. What he wants, what I want, what all of us want is to allow our hearts to open us up to those possibilities for a greater life. Each person deserves a great life and most importantly, you deserve that great life.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Focus Your Attitude
A long week of car troubles repeatedly and minor issues occurring. Certainly a good test of ones ability to stay positive. There are weeks like this and I for one am not immune from them. It is these things that put my belief in the power of being positive, of having a great attitude to test.
It can be frustrating when these things occur and there are multiple things that come into play. How do you deal with it then? A couple basic things to know;
In my particular case, I took time to recognize and be irritated by the issues occurring. Then I turned my focus to solutions, to working on a plan to sort out what was happening. In essence, I turned my focus to the anwers. Looking ahead two and three steps on what can be done to redirect the course of events.
This isn't instantaneous change in most cases, but directing your focus to the end results, by 'seeing' the answer, will remove you from stagnation. It will move you past the problem and towards resolution. By staying within the problem, you are bound and restricted by the weight of the issue. Your attitude will become mired in the despair and you won't be able to think clearly.
By refocusing on the answers, you take control of the situation and free yourself to move forward. You free yourself to release the problem and concentrate on finding solutions and then acting upon those solutions. Your mind and heart will feel a lifting sensation of the burden. Your attitude will improve which will make you more approachable. You will see others more willing to come to your assistance. Things will get better.
“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” - Denis Waitley
It can be frustrating when these things occur and there are multiple things that come into play. How do you deal with it then? A couple basic things to know;
- Accept it since life happens, release it so you can move on.
- Accept it with a cheerful heart since anything else will keep you from moving on.
- Accept it for yourself, do not place it upon others; seek advice, but do not unload your problems upon others.
- Accept it as a problem, but see the answer.
In my particular case, I took time to recognize and be irritated by the issues occurring. Then I turned my focus to solutions, to working on a plan to sort out what was happening. In essence, I turned my focus to the anwers. Looking ahead two and three steps on what can be done to redirect the course of events.
This isn't instantaneous change in most cases, but directing your focus to the end results, by 'seeing' the answer, will remove you from stagnation. It will move you past the problem and towards resolution. By staying within the problem, you are bound and restricted by the weight of the issue. Your attitude will become mired in the despair and you won't be able to think clearly.
By refocusing on the answers, you take control of the situation and free yourself to move forward. You free yourself to release the problem and concentrate on finding solutions and then acting upon those solutions. Your mind and heart will feel a lifting sensation of the burden. Your attitude will improve which will make you more approachable. You will see others more willing to come to your assistance. Things will get better.
“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” - Denis Waitley
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Sincere Attitude
To continue with my thoughts from yesterday, life will always present you with struggles. You will have struggles in your sincerity to live a positive and serving life. Each of us has to contend with maintaining that uplifting attitude. Some may consider this to be hypocritical.
But know that it does not make you hypocritical when trying to be positive through pain or down times. You are not hypocritical when you realize the struggles and are earnestly trying to correct them. When you do so, you remain justified in your sincerity.
It is when you begin to deny the existence of the struggle that hypocrisy rises. To do so is an attempt to fool yourself that all is good all of the time. You can not fool yourself and if you understand that, then it is apparent you are not fooling anyone else.
Know and accept that struggle will occur in your life, learn to recognize it early and take steps to overcome it quickly. Doing so will strengthen your ability to impact not only your own life, but to impact others around you. Your sincerity will be stronger in the eyes of others which will create more impact on their lives.
“We grow because we struggle, we learn and overcome.” - Robert C. Allen
But know that it does not make you hypocritical when trying to be positive through pain or down times. You are not hypocritical when you realize the struggles and are earnestly trying to correct them. When you do so, you remain justified in your sincerity.
It is when you begin to deny the existence of the struggle that hypocrisy rises. To do so is an attempt to fool yourself that all is good all of the time. You can not fool yourself and if you understand that, then it is apparent you are not fooling anyone else.
Know and accept that struggle will occur in your life, learn to recognize it early and take steps to overcome it quickly. Doing so will strengthen your ability to impact not only your own life, but to impact others around you. Your sincerity will be stronger in the eyes of others which will create more impact on their lives.
“We grow because we struggle, we learn and overcome.” - Robert C. Allen
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Moving Past Old Pain
There are many people in life that struggle to grasp and hold on to a positive attitude. Most of the time it is due to the inability to let go of past issues in their life. Letting go of old hurts and wounds to ones heart can be a difficult thing to do. What happens is that your mind will tend to try and rationalize the hurt and take a firm hold of it.
This results in a constant rehashing of the pain which in turn will limit you. This stands between you and achieving greater things in life. Just know and accept that there will always be something to get between you and your experiences in life. Knowing this is the first step in being prepared to deal and move on past those issues.
People will test your sincerity to step past a wrong doing and to see if you can also accept them along with their own issues. Are you prepared to deal with your own issues so that you can adequately deal with other people in your life.
A favorite speaker of mine, Fergus McIntrye is quoted as saying, "to move on greatness in life, you must first break down the walls that surround your heart." Fight through your adversity and continue to see and search for the goodness life has to offer you. Let go of past pains and know that life will open so much more. Release yourself from the past and live life in a new a bold way.
This results in a constant rehashing of the pain which in turn will limit you. This stands between you and achieving greater things in life. Just know and accept that there will always be something to get between you and your experiences in life. Knowing this is the first step in being prepared to deal and move on past those issues.
People will test your sincerity to step past a wrong doing and to see if you can also accept them along with their own issues. Are you prepared to deal with your own issues so that you can adequately deal with other people in your life.
A favorite speaker of mine, Fergus McIntrye is quoted as saying, "to move on greatness in life, you must first break down the walls that surround your heart." Fight through your adversity and continue to see and search for the goodness life has to offer you. Let go of past pains and know that life will open so much more. Release yourself from the past and live life in a new a bold way.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Happy Fathers Day
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.” - Charles Wadsworth
I learned years ago the knowledge of what my father had been telling me during my formative years. In fact I still learn from him today in bits and pieces about growing older. My own sons show signs of understanding what I have tried to impress upon them. But each of the four have their own personality and talents of which I am so very proud of.
In my middle years I remarried and have four wonderful step daughters as well. Each of them has a greatness and beauty that is a wonder to behold. Having never thought that my life would be touched by daughters, it adds so much to the experience of life.
As a father on this day, it isn't any thing special that I feel I do but try to do the best I can. My best feeling is that I have a father that taught me well and am proud to be his son. And on the other side, I will continue to teach and inspire our sons and daughters. Life will be their greatest teacher but if a bit of tutoring helps, so be it.
So "Happy Fathers Day" Dad, thank you for all you've done for me through out the years. You are my stabilizing force in life and have prepared me for beyond when you do leave. To my children, I will try to be around for many years to come, offering what I can like my own father did.
I learned years ago the knowledge of what my father had been telling me during my formative years. In fact I still learn from him today in bits and pieces about growing older. My own sons show signs of understanding what I have tried to impress upon them. But each of the four have their own personality and talents of which I am so very proud of.
In my middle years I remarried and have four wonderful step daughters as well. Each of them has a greatness and beauty that is a wonder to behold. Having never thought that my life would be touched by daughters, it adds so much to the experience of life.
As a father on this day, it isn't any thing special that I feel I do but try to do the best I can. My best feeling is that I have a father that taught me well and am proud to be his son. And on the other side, I will continue to teach and inspire our sons and daughters. Life will be their greatest teacher but if a bit of tutoring helps, so be it.
So "Happy Fathers Day" Dad, thank you for all you've done for me through out the years. You are my stabilizing force in life and have prepared me for beyond when you do leave. To my children, I will try to be around for many years to come, offering what I can like my own father did.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Consistency & Your Dreams
Consistency should be the trademark of that which you do in life. I strive to be consistent with my 'daily' blog and many of you will find that I have not been of late. With your support, I want to devote more time to my writing. Lately I've been on the road and also had a wedding anniversary trip.
I have also started work on a related website to provide a few products to help inspire and impact you and those around you. I'm hopeful to be another helpful voice not only in written word of the internet, but also on your coffee cup, on your wall and in other means to help you on your path to greatness. I'll let you know more later.
Until then, believe in a dream, envision the possibility - nothing can destroy the dream but your own lack of faith in it. Have faith in your dreams and allow them to become real by becoming specific in your plans.
I have also started work on a related website to provide a few products to help inspire and impact you and those around you. I'm hopeful to be another helpful voice not only in written word of the internet, but also on your coffee cup, on your wall and in other means to help you on your path to greatness. I'll let you know more later.
Until then, believe in a dream, envision the possibility - nothing can destroy the dream but your own lack of faith in it. Have faith in your dreams and allow them to become real by becoming specific in your plans.
Monday, June 05, 2006
The Attitude Process Of Life
“Enjoy the process. In the middle of this is where everything happens.” ~ Dean Sweetman
For life to be enjoyable, your attitude towards that which happens in and around it determines your impact on it. The idea that we want to simply 'get through' life will make it boring and dull. But to try and impact those around you will make it so much more worth while.
In doing so, there will be a process you become a part of. It may be in your job, church, home life or most anything that you engage in. The thing to remember is that you should enjoy that process you are a part of. All of what you do is in that process of life happening around you.
The good, the bad and the boring will happen. To experience each event should be embraced. Once you learn to enjoy it, you can have a large influence on others in your world. Help them to enjoy life or 'the process'. Movement causes change and change creates an impact. Make a positive impact on your life and others.
For life to be enjoyable, your attitude towards that which happens in and around it determines your impact on it. The idea that we want to simply 'get through' life will make it boring and dull. But to try and impact those around you will make it so much more worth while.
In doing so, there will be a process you become a part of. It may be in your job, church, home life or most anything that you engage in. The thing to remember is that you should enjoy that process you are a part of. All of what you do is in that process of life happening around you.
The good, the bad and the boring will happen. To experience each event should be embraced. Once you learn to enjoy it, you can have a large influence on others in your world. Help them to enjoy life or 'the process'. Movement causes change and change creates an impact. Make a positive impact on your life and others.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Life Checking Your Attitude
A busy week on the road so it has been difficult to get any writing done. As I am back home now, a small story to illustrate how your attitude is always being tested.
With air travel these days, fewer planes mean fuller flights, longer lines and sometimes stress in the whole process. So much more could be done by the airlines but I won't go into it at this point. My only thought would be that I'm surprised a major bus company has not yet bought out any of the major airlines.
When boarding for my recent trip, the whole process was not handled very well. It had been a long wait and many in the crowd were getting impatient. I had been in line to board but although my boarding pass was valid, the 'ticket machine' could not read the bar code. I was directed back to the boarding gate desk for another ticket.
Back in line once again and awaiting my turn, my thoughts were that I was handling myself pretty well. I'm staying calm, smiling and understanding to the situation. The gate attendants were attempting to get a second machine working and would direct the 'next' person in line to that machine. Remain calm I said, this will soon be over and you will be in your seat on the plane.
All at once a female passenger could no longer wait and cut in front of me to the next machine. I politely interrupted her but I'm sure the tone of my voice indicated otherwise. We exchanged insincere 'no, you go first' apologies but you know what the underlying meaning of that is. Those types of exchanges are, "hey, you cut in front of me and it was really rude." Followed by the reply, "get lost, I just might be more important than you!" So you get the picture!
Being the gentleman, I do insist that she go first but only through gritting teeth. We make our way onto the plane, I'm sure my seething is noticeable. Down the second aisle of the plane, further back we go. Can it be, please say no, why is this happening? We are sitting next to each other! Who says God has no sense of humor.
We sat in a bit of silence for a short while. But knowing that we have an eight hour flight ahead of us, best to salvage the day. Our talk is at first polite and short but eventually both of us apologize for the small scene. I think to both of our embarassment, the stress of boarding had gotten the best of us. A good laugh then ensued as we talked a bit about attitudes.
In life, situations will occur where your attitude will be tested. It may be on the road as someone cuts you off, you yell something and then the light turns red as you pull up along side them. It may be getting disgruntled at the guy who took that parking space, only to find he is a customer at your business meeting. Or it could be a stressful exchange while waiting to board a plane, only to find out the two of you will be sitting next to each other - for eight hours.
Find ways to check on your own attitude. For if you do not, life will certainly find a way to do it for you.
With air travel these days, fewer planes mean fuller flights, longer lines and sometimes stress in the whole process. So much more could be done by the airlines but I won't go into it at this point. My only thought would be that I'm surprised a major bus company has not yet bought out any of the major airlines.
When boarding for my recent trip, the whole process was not handled very well. It had been a long wait and many in the crowd were getting impatient. I had been in line to board but although my boarding pass was valid, the 'ticket machine' could not read the bar code. I was directed back to the boarding gate desk for another ticket.
Back in line once again and awaiting my turn, my thoughts were that I was handling myself pretty well. I'm staying calm, smiling and understanding to the situation. The gate attendants were attempting to get a second machine working and would direct the 'next' person in line to that machine. Remain calm I said, this will soon be over and you will be in your seat on the plane.
All at once a female passenger could no longer wait and cut in front of me to the next machine. I politely interrupted her but I'm sure the tone of my voice indicated otherwise. We exchanged insincere 'no, you go first' apologies but you know what the underlying meaning of that is. Those types of exchanges are, "hey, you cut in front of me and it was really rude." Followed by the reply, "get lost, I just might be more important than you!" So you get the picture!
Being the gentleman, I do insist that she go first but only through gritting teeth. We make our way onto the plane, I'm sure my seething is noticeable. Down the second aisle of the plane, further back we go. Can it be, please say no, why is this happening? We are sitting next to each other! Who says God has no sense of humor.
We sat in a bit of silence for a short while. But knowing that we have an eight hour flight ahead of us, best to salvage the day. Our talk is at first polite and short but eventually both of us apologize for the small scene. I think to both of our embarassment, the stress of boarding had gotten the best of us. A good laugh then ensued as we talked a bit about attitudes.
In life, situations will occur where your attitude will be tested. It may be on the road as someone cuts you off, you yell something and then the light turns red as you pull up along side them. It may be getting disgruntled at the guy who took that parking space, only to find he is a customer at your business meeting. Or it could be a stressful exchange while waiting to board a plane, only to find out the two of you will be sitting next to each other - for eight hours.
Find ways to check on your own attitude. For if you do not, life will certainly find a way to do it for you.
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