Staying Happy This Holiday

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ― Fred Rogers

Depending upon how you count, there are only twenty-five days left before Christmas is upon us. Yes, only twenty-five days left to find the perfect gift. Only twenty-five days left to plan the holiday meal. Only twenty-five days left to stress over all of it.

90% of people stress over something during the holidays

What exactly do we stress over then? According to a Consumer Reports survey, these are the top things we dread this time of year.

68% - Crowds and long lines
37% - Gaining weight
37% - Getting into debt
28% - Gift shopping
25% - Traveling
24% - Seeing certain relatives
23% - Seasonal music
19% - Disappointing gifts
16% - Having to attend holiday parties or events
15% - Having to be nice
12% - Holiday tipping

I actually find the "having to be nice" kind of amusing given the fact it should just come naturally. Sad to say, there are folks who simply find it hard to be nice. Beyond being nice, there are many things which induce stress in a lot of people.

How do we stay positive and enjoy the holiday?

To keep yourself happy and stress-free as possible, consider the following five ideas. Take a few moments before we really get into the deep end of the holiday rush and consider how you can have a happier holiday season.

1. Be realistic and avoid trying to be perfect - there are 365 days in a year and it is practically impossible to make one day perfect when we know the other 364 days are imperfect. There is beauty and fun in the imperfections of life. Embrace the idea that no one person and no one day is perfect. When you do this the pressure of being perfect yourself will be lifted and make you much happier.

2. Be healthy in your food, drink and exercise - a work Christmas party, a holiday get-together with friends and many other fun activities will fill your belly with great food, lighten your head at times from drinking alcohol and keep you less active in other parts of your daily routine. There will be less sleep, less exercise, less of the normal. Simply do all of this in moderation and your health will keep you happier.

3. Be grateful for what is going right - shopping for a gift that is out of stock, the dessert pie which didn't turn out quite right and so many other things that could wrong. What are we to do? We can be thankful for what we do have. If you think about it, there are a lot of good things going on in your life and I am sure you can find them. When you are grateful for what you have, life will be a lot happier to you.

4. Be mindful of being around positive things - maybe this one time of the year you avoid reading or responding to all of the negativity circulating on social media. Do not forget that bad news, bad comments and bad things sell. Good things are boring but search for the good news in life. Spread good news and avoid spreading the negative. When you generate a positive attitude, you will be happier about yourself.

5. Be the nice person you really are - being nice is inside all of us in varying degrees. Do you really need a parking spot up close? Let them have it, park further out and get a bit of exercise. Someone cut you off in traffic? Maybe they have a sick relative so show a little grace. All kinds of frustrations are not worth the impact they could have on your happiness. Spread a little niceness and happiness will come to you.

There you have it, staying happy this holiday season.

Sounds easy, should be easy but we all know it really is not. It takes works on our part and hey, do not sweat it if you cannot do all five things. Pick one, pick two but simply try. Being stress free and happy is not something for just this time of year.

Try to be happier for most of the year.

Stress consumes our happiness and being positive is not just a cliche. Being positive is a way of life, a happier life! And life should be that way, correct?

Stay inspired my friends!

Black Friday Caution

"When you have money, think of the time when you had none. -Japanese Proverb

Here it is, the day after the Thanksgiving Holiday in the United States, otherwise known as Black Friday. It signal the true rush to purchase Christmas Holiday presents and a rush towards large personal debt for many people. It is this debt which will bring New Years Holiday hangovers when the credit card bills begin to arrive.

So many of us overspend during this part of the year. Not only are we spending more money than we have, but many in the northern hemisphere (winter time) have higher heating bills, more car repair bills from the cold and other winter related expense. It can be a "double-whammy" on your bank account that adds to even higher credit card debt.

But why do we seem to overspend?

There is a great article that examines some of the reasons we overspend. Called Eight Ways to Stop Overspending Now written by Jocelyn Black Hodes for the DailyWorth, I have included a shortened version of her article here. I encourage you to read the entire article as well.

(Start of reprint)
The Reason: You’re Using Plastic.
The Fix: Try using cash for a week (or even a month). Hit the ATM on Sunday and take out the amount of money you feel comfortable spending that week on everyday purchases. Put it in an envelope, and use that as your ATM for the week. That’s a guaranteed way to avoid busting your budget. If you overspend one day, you’ll have to compensate for it the next. One week of using cash, and we guarantee you’ll have a much better sense of what you’re spending every day and what’s really worth the money.

The Reason: Your Lifestyle’s Bigger Than Your Budget.
The Fix: Make a point of consistently living below your means during good and bad times, and make sure you have at least six months of savings set aside, you’ll have a cushion if your expenses jump (with a new baby, say, or a long-term illness) or your income drops. One easy way to learn to live on less and build up your savings: Set up an automatic transfer into a savings account that you don’t touch until, or unless, you need it. After a few paychecks, you won’t even notice it’s gone and won’t look at it as money to spend.

The Reason: Your Childhood.
The Fix: If you lacked good financial role models or advice as a kid, seek them out as an adult. You don’t need to look any further than your local library or bookstore to find inspiring and instructive stories. Some of our favorite picks: “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” “Your Money or Your Life,” “The Millionaire Next Door,” and “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.”

The Reason: You’re Trying to Keep Up Appearances.
The Fix: Focus on your goals, rather than your neighbors. Take some time alone to think about what’s most important to you--what you want to have in your life, independent of what your peers may have. Once you’ve identified your goals and what you’ll need to get there, keep them front of mind. When you’re saving money for something that’s important to you, what your neighbors are doing with theirs will seem less important.

The Reason: You’re Feeling Peer Pressure.
The Fix: Make plans that won’t require a big payout. Meet friends for coffee or a drink, instead of a meal. Go hiking or running in the park. Invite friends over for dinner. And surround yourself with the friends who will support you as you work toward your financial goals. Seems obvious, we know. But many of us don’t think about it.

The Reason: You’re Filling an Emotional Void.
The Fix: Shopping can be an effective if temporary distraction, but it also keeps you from dealing with your feelings. Instead, look for a solution that will provide lasting relief, whether it’s putting that ‘retail therapy’ money into real therapy, dealing directly with the situation that precipitated the bad feelings, or just taking a walk with a friend. That won’t cost a thing.

The Reason: You Just Can't Say No.
The Fix: Give your kids an allowance. Next time they ask for a toy or a treat, you can give them to option to use their own allowance money or save their allowance up to pay for it. Using their own money will also give them a better understanding, and appreciation, of how much things really cost. And take time to establish your financial priorities with your partner, so that you’re both aware of where the money is going. It can also help to budget a little extra each month for indulgences to allow for some spontaneous purchases.

The Reason: You Don’t Have Clearly Defined Goals.
The Fix: Get clear on your goals and what it will take to reach them. Creating a financial plan can seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether you go the do-it-yourself route or work with a financial professional, the process starts with simply prioritizing and visualizing your goals, writing them down, and thinking about how you’ll feel when you reach them.
(End of reprint)

Each of us are responsible for our spending habits and the needs or wants of all purchases. Just be careful not place yourself in new year financial bind. Know that being "PRESENT" around loved ones during the holidays is just as good as giving "PRESENTS" to them.

Stay inspired my friends!

Made It Past That One

"The joy of life consists in the exercise of one's energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience. To stop means simply to die. The eternal mistake of mankind is to set up an attainable ideal." -Aleister Crowley

I survived the world meltdown that so many people thought would happen today. Yes, I am here, writing a blog and happy in the knowledge that life goes on.

Have a great weekend everyone. A very merry Christmas and Happy New Year along with the many other holidays celebrated this time of year.

25 December Christmas
25 December Anastasia of Sirmium Feast Day
25 December Malkh
26 December Boxing Day
26 December - 1 January Kwanzaa
26 December Saint Stephen's Day
27 December Saint John the Evangelist's Day
28 December Holy Innocents' Day
31 December Saint Sylvester's Day
31 December Watch Night
31 December New Year's Eve
31 December Hogmanay
01 January New Year's Day
01 JanuaryS aint Basil's Day

Be safe and stay inspired my friends.

Tis the Season

by Dolceanne

"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go." -Mother Teresa

Gift, the transfer of something without the expectation of receiving something in return.

Generosity, the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return.

Charity (practice), the giving of help to those in need who are not related to the giver.

The holiday season has begun officially, at least on my calendar. In some places (namely stores) it started about a month ago with the selling of Christmas items and early sales to lure you in. For me the Christmas Holiday starts after the Thanksgiving Holiday here in the United States. I have always felt that Thanksgiving gets short shrift in all of the excitement of Christmas.

But I am not here to discuss the level of attention one holiday gets over another. What I am here to talk about is Christmas and the receiving and giving of presents. There will be little Bobbie and Suzie to get presents for. Then of course Uncle Fred, Aunt Louise, your brother Earl and sister-in-law June will need a gift. The list can grow long and complicated.

Along with giving to family and friends, think about giving to those you may not know. You could give an extra generous tip to the waitress at Waffle House. Maybe you could clean out your closet of any clothes and shoes older than six months and give to a charity. There is the Salvation Army that can always use volunteers to help feed those in need.

Quite frankly, there is no shortage of places you can think of, find or look up. Apply a few minutes to making a list as you would your Christmas shopping list. Then go out and love the world with your giving, large or small it makes a huge difference in the life of people. It will have a huge impact on your own life.

Enjoy the holiday season, remember what Christmas means and its greatest gift to us and than spread that love and caring to others.

Stay inspired my friends.

Happy "insert holiday here"

"Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart." ~Washington Irving

When do you mark the start of the holiday season? Is it at Thanksgiving? Is it as early as Halloween? Or do you mark it when you see the first Christmas display in a store?

I for one tend to mark it privately as the time when we actually put the Christmas tree up in our home. That normally coincides with the weekend or two after Thanksgiving. For Christians, Christmas Eve marks the birth of Jesus. But the holiday season isn't just the Christian holiday of Christmas.

Traditionally, there is Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day and Epiphany. There are also the celebrations of Yule, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa. There are probably others that I am missing as well.

The holiday season encompasses a lot of different ways in which peoples, religions and cultures celebrate this time of year. It is also a time of the year to 'ease off a bit' on the political correctness of it all. By declaring "Happy Holidays", "Merry Christmas", or "Happy Hannukah" is not meant as an affront to others. The spirit of the season, religious or not is wishing kindness and happiness upon others.

It is a time of the year when we can possibly let down some of our disagreements and treat each other just a little more kindly. During the holiday season we can re-learn the idea of loving each other and hating a little bit less. The rest of the year tends to lack enough of that as it is.

During this holiday season, instead of complaining about the Christmas tree or Menorah on display at a school, why not turn your energy towards just being nicer to someone. If a kinara or a Yule Goat shows up in front of a courthouse, maybe tolerance should rule your thoughts. Maybe kindness and goodwill towards your fellow person should be the course of action.

I celebrate Christmas as Christian and am proud and happy to say Merry Christmas. I have Jewish friends that celebrate Hanukkah and are happy to say Happy Hanukkah. I have Australian friends that are happy to say Happy Boxing Day (I would suppose). Be proud of who you are and your celebration but remember that the point is being kinder and loving your fellow man a bit more.

January 2nd will come soon enough and many will have forgotten the spirit of the season. Try to hold onto that "...genial flame of charity in the heart" well beyond the holiday season.

Calm Before The Storm

Steen Doessing - Calm Before The Storm

"Look for me in the whirlwind or the storm." -Marcus Garvey

The idioms "lull before the storm" and "calm before the storm" are terms for a quiet period just before a period of great activity or excitement. The literal reference being to weather. Today is one of those days that I would refer to as the calm before the storm of the holidays.

Halloween was a bit of a primer but Thanksgiving in the United States is the starting point of a nearly five week flurry. The gathering of families and friends for a large meal. The shopping madness, football games, decorating, more family and friends. The travelling, wrapping of presents, unwrapping of presents, more food and drink. All ending up with a celebration of a new year, family, friends and the end of what was a storm of activity.

What happens is that some people get a thrill from riding the waves of a storm while others get frightened by the noise. We sometimes forget that it is a rather long period of time in which we will ride high on the waves of enjoyment. While there will be other possible moments of disappointment. Some will want perfection in sailing through all of the celebration. Some will want it to just end.

While each of us will experience the holiday storm differently, be aware of two things; the storm will pass and that others will be weathering it with you. When you get too high or too low, look for a friend "in the whirlwind".

Enjoy your holiday season, enjoy the madness of it all and sail on to a great new year.

Holiday Cheer

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Yes, it 'tis the season to be jolly.' To put down some of those cares and concerns of all that you carry. Take some time this week to enjoy what you have, your life that is full of wonder and promise.

There will be someone or many that you can be thankful for being in your life. The week will have it's moments that will lighten your day and give hope that all is well. So be of good cheer during this week for 'tis the season to be jolly.'

The reality is that life has plenty of ups and downs, but we have the opportunity this week to remember the goodness that exists for all of us. We can be friendly this week, we can smile and laugh; let love and kindness flow from you. There will be plenty in return.

It really 'tis the season to be jolly.'
_

Holiday Stress

“You need to find something that can buffer holiday stress ...and allow down time to self preserve. People need time to just chill, relax and enjoy each other.” -Susan Fletcher

Keep It Simple - if you watch any track and field sports, the high jumper does not start with the highest bar. They work themselves up from a less loftier pursuit. The same goes for us, if we set a bar so terribly high and fail to meet it will cause us to fall much further. Keep expectations reasonable, keep preparations simple so you will be less tired or in debt. It is said, "the holiday spirit is not about cooking the perfect meal or buying the perfect presents."

If buying gifts and getting everything perfect with those gifts is a source of stress, try one or more of the following:

* Shop from home using mail-order catalogs.
* Shop early or shop a little bit at a time.
* Set a time limit for holiday gift buying.
* Choose simple gifts.
* Treat Yourself Right

Be kind to yourself and allow some time for doing what you enjoy doing. Limit your alcohol and rich foods intake. Also, try to get your usual amount of sleep.

Start Your Own Traditions - growing up you probably had certain traditions for the holidays. But now those same traditions are not possible and they tug at your heart. Well start your own traditions that include those around or near you. New idea and traditions can also become just as cherished as the older ones are.

Acknowledge Losses - for many people, a loved one has passed on or a love has been lost. You can acknowledge the loss in simple ways. Maybe looking through a photo album or just reminiscing. Try to establish some new traditions for the holidays while holding on to parts of the old. The

Watch Out For Family Strife - let it go, it is not necessary to bring up old grievances. The holidays are not a good time for resolving family disputes or confronting relatives. If it does happen, just agree on a time after the holidays to work them out. Emotions will be much better under control and the holidays are about being together and not fighting each other.

Be A Volunteer - involve yourself with the local food pantry or homeless shelter to assist during the season. It will place you around others and you will meet new people. Giving of yourself fills you more than you would think.

Do Something After The Holidays - after all is said and done, the torn wrappings are in the trash, the eggnog is gone and hangovers relieved, do a few activities that are non-holiday in nature. A short trip to the museum, coffee with a friend or a walk through the nature center. Do something that you can look forward to and will help transition you into non-holiday mode.

Enjoy the holidays, don't make this the "one" that has to be perfect...there are many more of them. Just relax, be with family and friends and let the holidays just happen.

Holiday Loneliness

The weeks go by so quickly during this holiday season. The rush at work to finish year end projects, the holiday shopping and simply too many things to do. So much that we have to do in our lives.

It is also a time to think of others, a time of the year to lift others. You can do so much to help others...invite them out for coffee or even over to your home for dinner.

If you are one of those folks that does experience loneliness for what ever reason, an article titled Loneliness and The Holidays offers some ideas. Remember, there are others out there to help you, but much of what we do in life comes from within. You have to make the first step to take yourself out of your condition.

- Be Good To Yourself
- Understand That You’re Not Alone
- Rethink Your Expectations
- Get Connected
- Give To Others
- Examine Your Feelings

Enjoy the holidays, immerse yourself in making it a little brighter for others and immerse yourself in stepping out of loneliness. Movement creates change.

How To Spread Goodness

Wow - here it is November 9th already and I haven't written since the end of October. I am in a period of time where my work seems to consume all of my time. It leaves little time for my family, which I know is a bad thing and I have always had a difficult time balancing the two. So during these periods, the blog has to take a rest.

In all of what I do though, I never forget you folks - faithful readers and supporters. I also never forget all of those people that each of us can help. Spreading a smile here, a nice gesture there or just doing a small good deed will go a very long way in improving someone's life.

As the holiday season approaches, here are a few tips to help spread some goodness around:

1. Smile more often, life really isn't so bad and a smile changes an entire room.
2. Slow down and relax a bit more often, driving isn't a race against others, it is just getting from point A to point B.
3. Tip more and more often, those working in the restaurant business really don't get paid all that much...15-20% tip regardless will help them with the holiday season.
4. Send a note to a soldier overseas more often as they need our support and encouragement. I'll write more about this soon.
5. Lend a helping hand more often, service to others has it own reward that will make them feel better and you much better inside.

Enjoy your weekend everyone and be safe.