Staying Happy This Holiday

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ― Fred Rogers

Depending upon how you count, there are only twenty-five days left before Christmas is upon us. Yes, only twenty-five days left to find the perfect gift. Only twenty-five days left to plan the holiday meal. Only twenty-five days left to stress over all of it.

90% of people stress over something during the holidays

What exactly do we stress over then? According to a Consumer Reports survey, these are the top things we dread this time of year.

68% - Crowds and long lines
37% - Gaining weight
37% - Getting into debt
28% - Gift shopping
25% - Traveling
24% - Seeing certain relatives
23% - Seasonal music
19% - Disappointing gifts
16% - Having to attend holiday parties or events
15% - Having to be nice
12% - Holiday tipping

I actually find the "having to be nice" kind of amusing given the fact it should just come naturally. Sad to say, there are folks who simply find it hard to be nice. Beyond being nice, there are many things which induce stress in a lot of people.

How do we stay positive and enjoy the holiday?

To keep yourself happy and stress-free as possible, consider the following five ideas. Take a few moments before we really get into the deep end of the holiday rush and consider how you can have a happier holiday season.

1. Be realistic and avoid trying to be perfect - there are 365 days in a year and it is practically impossible to make one day perfect when we know the other 364 days are imperfect. There is beauty and fun in the imperfections of life. Embrace the idea that no one person and no one day is perfect. When you do this the pressure of being perfect yourself will be lifted and make you much happier.

2. Be healthy in your food, drink and exercise - a work Christmas party, a holiday get-together with friends and many other fun activities will fill your belly with great food, lighten your head at times from drinking alcohol and keep you less active in other parts of your daily routine. There will be less sleep, less exercise, less of the normal. Simply do all of this in moderation and your health will keep you happier.

3. Be grateful for what is going right - shopping for a gift that is out of stock, the dessert pie which didn't turn out quite right and so many other things that could wrong. What are we to do? We can be thankful for what we do have. If you think about it, there are a lot of good things going on in your life and I am sure you can find them. When you are grateful for what you have, life will be a lot happier to you.

4. Be mindful of being around positive things - maybe this one time of the year you avoid reading or responding to all of the negativity circulating on social media. Do not forget that bad news, bad comments and bad things sell. Good things are boring but search for the good news in life. Spread good news and avoid spreading the negative. When you generate a positive attitude, you will be happier about yourself.

5. Be the nice person you really are - being nice is inside all of us in varying degrees. Do you really need a parking spot up close? Let them have it, park further out and get a bit of exercise. Someone cut you off in traffic? Maybe they have a sick relative so show a little grace. All kinds of frustrations are not worth the impact they could have on your happiness. Spread a little niceness and happiness will come to you.

There you have it, staying happy this holiday season.

Sounds easy, should be easy but we all know it really is not. It takes works on our part and hey, do not sweat it if you cannot do all five things. Pick one, pick two but simply try. Being stress free and happy is not something for just this time of year.

Try to be happier for most of the year.

Stress consumes our happiness and being positive is not just a cliche. Being positive is a way of life, a happier life! And life should be that way, correct?

Stay inspired my friends!

Light Overcomes Darkness

"Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him."
- Louis L'Amour

The thought of road rage and what that says about many of us came to me one morning while driving to work. I drove up on a line of traffic with people merging in from the right where two lanes became a single lane.

People inched forward not allowing any space for someone to enter the line of traffic. Some of the people in the right lane unaware of being in the wrong lane and were using their blinkers requesting entry into the left line.

Others came speeding up in the right lane, fully aware they were going to pass the long line of traffic. Their intent being interpreted as, "I'm better then you and I'm not going to wait."

There were all sorts of reasons.

Drivers in the left lane were a mixture of attitudes and grace also. Some would open a space for both types of right-lane people. While others maintained a 'zero-space' and 'zero-tolerance' for those in the right lane of traffic.

This went on until a driver in front of me began yelling at one of the right lane drivers with gestures and well thought out verbiage. There had been some sort of affront to him and he was going to let the other driver be aware of it.

In that instance, his inner self was being put on display for all to see.

All of us carry something inside we probably are not proud of; especially when it gets put on display for others to see. But when we keep the "not so proud of" things inside, it is there, kept in darkness and it grows to destroy you. Allowing the darkness inside to rule the day only leads to stress and anger.

We do a very good job of hiding those things within our inner darkness. For some reason, we find those times where it gets released from the darkness. Like when sitting in a car, in traffic, where we somehow believe others can not see us.

If you were standing in line for coffee and a person cut in line, you might say something but chances are the situation is a bit too personal, too upfront. So we tend to be more civil in our discussion with the other person. Yet in a car, all inhibition seems to be removed.

Darkness finds a way to take control over our actions.

We think we are hidden or protected within our space. The vehicle, tucked away in our office or behind closed doors of our home. The problem is many others get to see these glimpses of the inner stuff going on. Inner darkness is revealed and we barely realize it.

I have had issues with impatience and believing my driving is far superior to others. My frustration boiled over nearly 30 years ago and my left temple took the brunt of someones fist. We read stories of this rage spilling over into even greater excess. The outcomes can be disastrous and many times deadly.

What need the ability to destroy the darkness inside by letting the light in. Allow a bit more grace on the roads is a start. But we can also try to relax a more and try to slow down, not be in such a hurry. We all lead hectic and stressful lives.

It might be time to adjust the way we live in order to enjoy it more.

Do not let the darkness win. Relax and enjoy the ride.

Stay inspired my friends!

Coping With Job Stress

“I’ve had a stressful day, and I need something stronger than beer. Somebody fetch me a bodybuilder. Check the cooler in the garage.”
― Jarod Kintz

Stress in our life comes in many different forms. One of these forms is a huge part of our life. It consumes at a minimum nearly 20% of the entire year. If you consider that we sleep an average of 7 hours per night, then this figure jumps to 30% of your waking hours.

Our "job" consumes one third of our entire life.

The stress comes in many different forms and affects your body in a lot of different ways. The work place itself can cause small sources of stress such as equipment which malfunctions or the constant ringing of the phone.

The larger sources of stress are caused by having too much work, having work that is unfulfilling, fear of job layoffs, or just having a lousy boss. I certainly hope I do not fall into that category of being a boss.

All of these things contribute to increased stress in life.

It is normally these major areas of stress that lead to burnout. People become unhappy and less productive. The effect also has an impact on your health and personal life.

Low levels of stress are not always noticeable; slightly higher levels can be positive and challenge you to act in creative and resourceful ways; and high levels can be harmful, contributing to chronic disease.

An organization called Healthwise has broken down major stress into seven categories which are;

Control - This is the most closely related to job stress. Studies show workers who believe they have a great deal of responsibility but little control or decision-making power in their jobs are at increased risk for cardiovascular disease and other stress-related illnesses.

Increased responsibilities - Taking on additional responsibilities in your job can be stressful. It can be worse if you have too much work to do and are unable to say no to new tasks or projects.

Competence - Are you concerned about your ability to perform well? Are you challenged enough, but not too much? Do you feel secure in your job? Job insecurity is a major source of stress for many people.

Clarity - Feeling uncertain about what your duties are, how they may be changing, or what your department or organization's goals are can lead to stress.

Communication - Workplace tension often results from poor communication, which in turn increases job stress. An inability to express your concerns, frustrations, or other emotions can also lead to increased stress.

Support - Feeling unsupported by your coworkers may make it harder to resolve other problems at work that are causing you stress.

Significance - If you don't find your job meaningful or take pride in it, you may find it stressful.

To help manage job stress, Healthwise offers the following options for lowering stress on the job:

1. Meet with your supervisor. Do this at least once a year (every 3 or 6 months is better) to talk about your performance and your job. If a performance review is already part of your job, treat it as a chance to clear up issues that may be causing stress for you.

Talk about things such as:

- What is expected of me in this position?
- Where is this company going, and how do I fit into that plan?
- How am I doing?
- What are my strengths?
- Areas for improvement?
- What can I expect from you if a problem with my work or my job should occur?
- If I continue my current high-quality performance, how and when can I expect to be rewarded?

2. Manage your time well. It is important to leave your job at the office, even if your office is a room in your home. If you give up free time to get more work done, you may pay for it with stress-related symptoms. If your employer offers a flexible work schedule, take advantage of it to fit your own work style. For instance, come in earlier to have a longer midday break or to make time for a yoga class or workout.

3. Unplug. Technologies such as cellular phones and the Internet have made it possible to be available to everyone, including clients and coworkers, at all times. Do not allow technology to eliminate the boundaries between your time and your employer's time. Leave your work cell phone behind when having it with you is not absolutely necessary, or decide not to answer it during times you have set aside for yourself or your family. Avoid checking work e-mail at home.

4. Know when to quit. If you are truly miserable because of a stressful job and the suggestions above have not worked, it may be time to think about changing jobs. Make sure you know whether it is you or the job that's the problem. Before quitting, spend time researching other job options. Being unemployed can and will also lead to stress. Getting another job before quitting is ideal, but sometimes isn't possible. Decide what is less stressful for you: unemployment or being miserable in your current job.

Life has much more in store for you.

Remember that, "To be free of destructive stress, don't sweat the small stuff and realize that all stuff is small." Balance your daily activity and bring enjoyment back into your life by letting go of as much stress as possible.

And stay inspired my friends.

Make 'em Laugh

“A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around.” ~ Carolyn Birmingham

Some days all I can do to get by is simply laugh at the situation before me. To get overly upset or mad would only worsen the predicament. And most likely the situation is out of my control anyway.

What better way to relieve the stress than by laughing.

There have been those who feel offended when in the seriousness of it all, someone is chuckling. Each of us react to the problems life sets before us. Those issues build and compound with each other. So much that we feel our life has been targeted with all of the world's problems.

What we can do when there seems to be no way out from under all of it is to simply laugh.

Even the doctors at the Mayo Clinic say, "...laughter helps you deal with a variety of maladies, including the stresses of daily life." A laugh or even a smile can bring the focus away from negative emotions and send us into a better mood. This mood change will give us the ability to more clearly concentrate.

What once seemed like darkness begins to brighten with new light.

So if you can help someone, "make 'em laugh."

To help even yourself, "make 'em laugh."

For everything else in life, "make 'em laugh."

Stay inspired my friends!

Handling Stress

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” ― David Mamet

Maintaining a positive attitude all of the time, doing all the right things, trying to be the "do it all" person can leave you bewildered and wondering where all of your time went. Life and all we try to accomplish in such a short time can have frustrating effects. So how does one do a better job of managing your own time?

An article in Best Life Magazine, titled "Under Pressure" (before publication ended in 2009), the author talked about stress and the effect it has on your life. That article along with a side article by Kate Dailey called "Time Crunch: How to whittle down a too-much-to-do list", the following presents five quick ideas that you can apply in your life to help you.

Ask yourself the following questions to help prioritize your list in life.

DOES IT FIT INTO THE BIG PICTURE?
"The priorities that people set and what they actually do are often inconsistent," says Mark Ellwood, a productivity consultant in Toronto. "I hear men say 'My family comes first' all the time, but then they're working 70 hours a week." Ellwood uses this exercise with his clients to help ferret out what they really want: If you had a day at work with no e-mail to return, no phone calls to make, and no deadlines to meet, what would you do with your time? Some men would use it to plan the big project they want to launch. Some would brush up their skills by taking a seminar. Most would work on high-priority projects so they could go home early and hang out with their kids. These are the worthwhile objectives your schedule should accommodate most.

IS IT IMPORTANT OR JUST URGENT?
Tasks that need to be done right away, like fixing an overflowing toilet or compiling sales figures at the request of the boos, are urgent. Tasks that means a lot to you but don't necessarily have a time factor attached are important. "Rarely do the two go together," says Ellwood. "The urgent often wins out." The challenge is to make meaningful changes so that you spend substantial time on long-term goals rather than putting out fires all day.

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO THIS?

There are times when only your skill, wit, charm, or intellect will suffice. Those times are rare, and they're almost never meetings. "It's a good developmental tool to have subordinates represent you at meetings," says Barry Miller, Ph.D., an adjunct professor of management at Pace University, and the manager of alumni career programs and services. "They get to interface with higher-ups and learn on the job, and you free up your schedule."

DO I HAVE TO BE THERE IN PERSON?

Don't waste your time with a meeting when a well-placed phone call can do the trick. "Face time is important when you're building new relationships," says Miller, "but once you've established that relationship, the pressure is off." What's more important is giving people a sense that you're tuned in to their needs and you're thinking of them.

WILL IT COST ME IF I DON'T GO?

Also known as "Who will I piss off?" Your psychiatrist doesn't care if you're a no-show for your 4:30 session (He'll bill you $150 either way), but the cost of not attending the 5:00 cocktail party full of potential clients could be much, much higher. It follows, then, that skipping out of your son's birthday party after you promised him for months that you'd be there will cost you a fortune in emotional capital, not to mention some psych bills of his own down the line.

You can have a great life, you can see yourself through the stress life throws at us, you can be!

Stay inspired my friends!

Stress Happens

"The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances." - Andrew Bernstein

Through most of my career, my job was labeled as what companies call an "individual contributor." this meant I did my job, handled my responsibilities but had no direct reports. That was nearly twenty-seven years of my career and I was then thrust into managing people.

A change that made me change some of my perceptions.

What I have found though is managing people is not a whole lot different from working with customers, peer work groups or even family and friends. It remains a very relationship oriented function and as I have learned to accept that fact, my focus to "leading" our team becomes more clear.

But one other fact remains in any relationship, stress within people can and does occur. The stress could be due to the amount of work being handled, something at home affecting your work and many times cultural or personality differences. It just happens and sometimes it boils like steam venting from a pot.

When stress builds, stop, take a deep breath and relax.

According to research done by the online journal Thorax called Angry Breathing, shows that "hostility is associated with poorer pulmonary function and more rapid rates of decline among older men." What this means is anger can alter neuroendocrine processes, which trigger chronic inflammation and damage the lungs.

Essentially, the longer you remain angry, the more you express anger at other drivers, at other people and life in general, your risk of lung damage goes up. So it just makes sense to relax and 'take a deep breath' when you feel anger or stress coming on.

Life will be better and life will be longer. You'll breathe easier in the long run.

Stay inspired my friends!

Waves of Change

“The storms come and go, the waves crash overhead, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling.” ― George R.R. Martin

The new day comes and your thoughts are to the work which lay ahead.

A job in which there is not enough time or manpower.

You think of what is on the "to-do" list. Not only are there new tasks to complete today, but there are items left over from your previous work day. A never ending stream of work that seems impossible to complete. Such is the ever increasing demands that many employers place upon the modern day employee.

Management by human cost reduction and pressure to do more upon remaining employees to produce more.

- There will be fewer employees to complete the work.
-- "no money in the budget, we must reduce cost to remain competitive."
- There will be fewer opportunities for overtime to complete the work.
-- "no money in the budget, we must reduce cost to remain competitive."
- There will be fewer raises for the increased workload each takes on.
-- "no money in the budget, we must reduce cost to remain competitive."

More work, faster and more more efficient is the mantra in order to keep your job these days. Quality will suffer although you will hear many companies exhort that "quality is their number one concern."

So what can you do?

Many jobs have become that of a child digging a hole on the beach. The faster the child digs, the quicker it fills in with sea water and more sand. An endless fight against the ocean and sand that seems never to be won. But we keep digging, performing the job we are asked to do. Just realize in your mind that change is inevitable.

The tide will go out and allow the hole to be dug until the next tide or cycle of business comes around. Management will come to grips with the situation and change will happen. For many it feels miserable to work so hard and not feel that any head way has been made.

Keep plugging along, keep doing the work that you do so well.

A time will come when you may feel the need to move onto something else. I can not say if you should stay or leave. You will have to make that decision. It will be a decision based upon many factors in your life. But don't over think it. Many times that first gut feeling is the right one.

Whether it be digging a hole in the sand waiting for the tide to go out or building a sand castle, enjoy what you do as best you can. Change will happen just as the ocean moves with the tide and the softness of a breeze.

Stay inspired my friends.

Have You Noticed

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” -Bill Cosby

During your daily routine, life will confront you with various circumstances. Life will place you in conditions that may not be comfortable or something you are happy to be in. It could be news of a medical or financial condition; either of which will have a major impact on your life. There might be small things that seem to simply bother us. A co-worker that is always too loud, a flat tire or a leaking faucet.

The big and small things in life will always occur.

How we deal with each of these situations will determine our happiness. Humor can help ease the condition. Humor can help ease the stress that comes with the pain. Try it sometime, try laughing about it and moving on. Diffuse your frustration and do not allow the situation to sidetrack your day.

And the next time you are driving down the road and get frustrated with traffic, remember what George Carlin said, “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” We all have to put ourselves into perspective and get on with more important things in life.

Stay inspired my friends!

How To Handle Stress

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." -William James

I was reading recently about stress and how our lives can become complicated to the point of not being able to think clearly. This point of unclarity can be described as the "accumulation of garbage" in ones head. To simply get beyond it, you need a way to shed and achieve peace within yourself.

Some people remove themselves to a quiet place to be alone for some amount of time. It may be only 15 minutes or possibly for an hour or more. This place is where you can think of all those things and then let them go out of your mind for a while. Don't attempt to block all of the thoughts when you go to this quiet place.

The more you try to force yourself not to think of them, the more you will. Simply let them flow and as you do, turn your attention to something else. The beauty of your wife and children, the excitement of a favorite sporting event or the memory of a nice afternoon at the beach.

How you cope with the stress of everyday life is what matters. You find a method that works and then you learn how to see the signs of stress coming on. Something will find its way to you, but be careful not to allow drugs or alcohol to be the source of comfort. Each of those and other harmful effects will soon make things worse.

Accept stress for what it is, a sign that you need to stop and relax. Become introspective at those points in time. Allow your mind to deflate from all that you are trying to process. It will help you see more clearly.

Stay inspired my friends.

Christmas "Is" Perfect

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet." -Author Unknown

You know it is going to happen next Monday when you wake up from a weekend of office Christmas parties. You will suddenly realize that you are not even close to being ready for Christmas Day. The pressure of knowing that family and friends will be arriving in just a few short days.

You might look at your bank budget and see that very little is left. One string of lights on the Christmas tree just went out and no cookies have been baked yet. The growing tension inside of you is starting to bubble to the surface.

When it seems that all of your Christmas bulbs are going to burn out, stop, relax and let it go. Christmas is not meant for us to make perfect. Christmas "is" perfect in all manners that we experience it.

All of that stress, anxiety, and depression are common during a holiday season. If nothing else, reassure yourself that these feelings are normal. So again, relax.

Some tips I collected from various health organizations that will help you deal with Christmas stress or any other kind of stress are;

- If there is still shopping to do, try to do all your shopping on one day. It focuses the mind. Shop via the Internet to avoid crowds, lines and parking problems.

- If you do go shopping, don't stop for coffee. Caffeine makes the body release cortisol, which is a stress hormone and leaves you feeling tense. Instead take a bottle of water with you.

- When you are in a line, breath in for four counts, hold it for 16 counts, then breath out for eight counts. This will boost levels of serotonin in your brain.

- Don't expect miracles. If you and certain family members bicker all year long, you can be sure there will be tension at Christmas gatherings. So avoid the known triggers. In example, if politics is a touchy subject in your family, don't talk about it. If someone brings up the topic, use distraction and quickly move on to something else to talk about.

- Use relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or focusing on your breath to cope with anxiety or tension.

- Family members involved in after-lunch activities (such as football, Frisbee or something else on the back lawn) are less likely to get into arguments. Plan for something to do as a group after lunch if necessary.

- People under stress tend to 'self-medicate' with alcohol, cigarettes and other drugs. Try to remember that drugs can't solve problems or alleviate stress in the long term.

Above all, stay calm and carry on. It is the holiday season and it should be a happy time for you and those around you. Choose to be happy and cheerful in attitude. Remember that this is Christmas and it "is" perfect already.

Stress Management

"Stress is the trash of modern life - we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life." -Danzae Pace

According to an article by the Mayo Clinic, "stress is a normal psychological and physical reaction to the ever increasing demands of life." Hmmm, a 'normal' reaction to things going on around you! I guess that is one way of viewing stress as being normal. Which I guess means to say that you are not abnormal if you develop stress while going through challenges. That makes me feel a whole lot better.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with what the staff at the Mayo Clinic is saying. Stress is a response to life's challenges thrown into the mix of your everyday life. There is stress related to what seems to be increasing pressure at work. There are fewer people doing more of the work as companies work to save money by laying off people.

There is stress related to money, kids, relationships or even the drive home on a busy freeway. The stress can build up inside of us and begin to cause physical problems. When stressed, our body responds as though we are in danger. It causes hormones to speed up your heart, which is turn allows you to breathe faster, and provide a burst of energy (called the fight-or-flight stress response).

But stress has also been linked to headaches, upset stomach, back pain, and trouble sleeping. Stress can weaken your immune system and that makes it harder to fight off disease. If you already have health problems, stress can make it worse. Stress can make you moody, tense, or depressed. Relationships can suffer, and your performance at work or school can suffer as well.

There are methods to help you manage your stress. WebMD offers some techniques shown below. These stress-relief techniques focus on relaxing your mind and your body.

Ways to relax your mind

Write:
It may help to write about things that are bothering you. Write for 10 to 15 minutes a day about stressful events and how they made you feel. Or think about starting a stress journal. This helps you find out what is causing your stress and how much stress you feel. After you know, you can find better ways to cope.

Let your feelings out:
Talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when you need to. Talking with friends, family, a counselor, or a member of the clergy about your feelings is a healthy way to relieve stress.

Do something you enjoy:
This can be a hobby, such as gardening. A creative activity, such as writing, crafts, or art. Playing with and caring for pets. Volunteer work. You may feel that you're too busy to do these things. But making time to do something you enjoy can help you relax. It might also help you get more done in other areas of your life.

Focus on the present:
Meditation and guided imagery are two ways to focus and relax your mind.

Meditate:
When you meditate, you focus your attention on things that are happening right now. Paying attention to your breathing is one way to focus.

Doing meditation:
Use guided imagery.With guided imagery, you imagine yourself in any setting that helps you feel calm and relaxed. You can use audiotapes, books, or a teacher to guide you.

Ways to relax your body

Exercise:
Regular exercise is one of the best ways to manage stress. Walking is a great way to get started. Even everyday activities such as housecleaning or yard work can reduce stress. Stretching can also relieve muscle tension.

Try techniques to relax such as breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, and yoga can help relieve stress.

Breathing exercises:
These include roll breathing, a type of deep breathing.

Progressive muscle relaxation:
This technique reduces muscle tension. You do it by relaxing separate groups of muscles one by one.

Yoga, tai chi, and qi gong:
These techniques combine exercise and meditation. You may need some training at first to learn them. Books and videos are also helpful. You can do all of these techniques at home.

In the sum of it all, managing stress can only be handled by you. For the sake of your mental and physical well being, find a way to deal with stress in a healthy way. For the sake of your loved ones, deal with your stress today.

Holiday Stress

“You need to find something that can buffer holiday stress ...and allow down time to self preserve. People need time to just chill, relax and enjoy each other.” -Susan Fletcher

Keep It Simple - if you watch any track and field sports, the high jumper does not start with the highest bar. They work themselves up from a less loftier pursuit. The same goes for us, if we set a bar so terribly high and fail to meet it will cause us to fall much further. Keep expectations reasonable, keep preparations simple so you will be less tired or in debt. It is said, "the holiday spirit is not about cooking the perfect meal or buying the perfect presents."

If buying gifts and getting everything perfect with those gifts is a source of stress, try one or more of the following:

* Shop from home using mail-order catalogs.
* Shop early or shop a little bit at a time.
* Set a time limit for holiday gift buying.
* Choose simple gifts.
* Treat Yourself Right

Be kind to yourself and allow some time for doing what you enjoy doing. Limit your alcohol and rich foods intake. Also, try to get your usual amount of sleep.

Start Your Own Traditions - growing up you probably had certain traditions for the holidays. But now those same traditions are not possible and they tug at your heart. Well start your own traditions that include those around or near you. New idea and traditions can also become just as cherished as the older ones are.

Acknowledge Losses - for many people, a loved one has passed on or a love has been lost. You can acknowledge the loss in simple ways. Maybe looking through a photo album or just reminiscing. Try to establish some new traditions for the holidays while holding on to parts of the old. The

Watch Out For Family Strife - let it go, it is not necessary to bring up old grievances. The holidays are not a good time for resolving family disputes or confronting relatives. If it does happen, just agree on a time after the holidays to work them out. Emotions will be much better under control and the holidays are about being together and not fighting each other.

Be A Volunteer - involve yourself with the local food pantry or homeless shelter to assist during the season. It will place you around others and you will meet new people. Giving of yourself fills you more than you would think.

Do Something After The Holidays - after all is said and done, the torn wrappings are in the trash, the eggnog is gone and hangovers relieved, do a few activities that are non-holiday in nature. A short trip to the museum, coffee with a friend or a walk through the nature center. Do something that you can look forward to and will help transition you into non-holiday mode.

Enjoy the holidays, don't make this the "one" that has to be perfect...there are many more of them. Just relax, be with family and friends and let the holidays just happen.

Burning Yourself

A recent article in Readers Digest - "Burned Out", a story unfolds regarding how we tend to be the 'do all' people. Between family activities, trying to get ahead at work, being the charity worker and getting to the gym to stay healthy - there just doesn't seem to be enough time during the day.

Yet it isn't time that is a factor. The same amount of seconds, minutes and hours still exist within a 24 hour period as did when time was first measured. As individuals, we are the ones that fill up the seconds of our day. And as you may have noted, I said the 'seconds' of our day. For those that are nearing burnout have pushed themselves to the point of having to count the seconds.

With the stress comes increasing mental and physical fatigue. Your job suffers, your friends suffer, your family suffers and you suffer. There are many symptoms and signs that any short search of the internet or talking to your family doctor can help reveal.

While the Readers Digest article concentrates on 'burn out' at work, stress and 'burn out' can happen to anyone that stretches themselves too thin, trying to be the 'all and everything.' To overcome burnout, the article suggests the following eight recommendations. For more detail on each, I'd suggest reading the article.

- Make time for yourself
- Develop a method to calm yourself
- Analyze what you love and hate about your work (or whatever it is your are doing)
- Settle for less than perfect
- Take good care of yourself
- Cultivate a support network (those fish net connections I've talked about)
- Set limits (saying 'no' is a valid answer)
- Plan for the future

American author Natalie Goldberg is quoted as saying, “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down.” Maybe take seven minutes out of your day...and yes, that is only 420 seconds...to relax and think about it.