Families Made Of Love

"The family is one of nature's masterpieces." -George Santayana

Yes, the last 50 years have seen a huge rise in divorce with the U.S. having the highest of any industrialized nation. Cohabitation rather than marriage, "blended" families of both gay and heterosexual design, and children born out of wedlock are common these days.

But regardless of what the family looks like today, how you live and nuture each other within the confines of that matter greatly. We each have defined roles that determine the structure of each family. The parents, the children and the love that exists within are the things that make a family.

We may not have as many "traditional" families as once there were, but families can still exist and do in many of the different forms. As long as there is love, respect and nuturing within those walls, the family will continue to exist.

As I returned from visiting my siblings and father, it has made me think about these words. We grew up in a traditional family and around non-traditional families. My wife and children make up the strings of a blended family that bind together a family put together by a marriage after divorce. We are a family many would consider oddly formed, but it is solid and filled with love.

Both types of family units have taught me quite a bit about life, about raising children, and about the love that binds us together. With love we can and do overcome the squabbles, the hurt feelings, and any other obstacles that get in the way. It is love that fills the voids and makes a family what it is.

So as you gather with your own family, make love the greatest part of your gathering. Hug each other. Say "I love you" to each other. Love the moments no matter what type of family you have.

Love is Five

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -1 Corinthians 13:13

According to Wikipedia, love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.

[1] In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase, "God is love" or Agape in the Canonical gospels.

[2] Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.

[3] In English, love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure ("I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction ("I love my partner").

[4] "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of eros, to the emotional closeness of familial love, or the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.

So here we have a wide and divergent use and meaning of the word love. When you put this into the context of every day human life, the complexity can only grow. We search for it, we try to understand it, we try to capture what love is in our life.

In a new book set to come out soon, the complex nature of what love is gets explained in simple to understand terms. The book "Love Is" will explain to you what love is in four parts. It will help you find meaning to love in your life and how powerful love is in your life.

Love is ...

Love Is Four

"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well." -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of one's actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships.

Unconditional love also begins with understanding God's love for us and loving ourselves. In understanding that kind of love, we allow the feeling to generate within us and then we can share it to everyone and everything around us. That which we send out, returns to us in greater measure.

Love is not something to hold only inside, hidden away and saved for a rainy day. Love is meant to be given unconditionally, which in turn makes room for more love to fill our lives. Love is ...

Love Is Three

“Of course if you like your kids, if you love them from the moment they begin, you yourself begin all over again, in them, with them, and so there is something more to the world again.” -William Saroyan

Loving someone and being loved brings happiness into our lives. In our life there are many different loves that we have. You have the love of your spouse or partner. There are your parents, your family and children, or your best friend.

We all want and need love, it is an essential part of the human race. With love, we help each other, cooperate with each other, and reaffirm each other. And when love brings a man and a woman together, inevitably that love will create a family.

Family is a basic building block of our society. It is a community of life and love, that is intended to protect each family member and to communicate love. It gives you your identity and background, and a sense of belonging.

Within the family you are able to share each members daily experiences, and give life meaning. It is where you celebrate birthdays, holidays, and those important days in our life. It provides us with an opportunity to grow in virtue, love, generosity, and patience. You also learn that forgiveness is a key piece to being in a family.

And what started all of this?

Why of course it all started with love. It is sustained with love. It remains forever with love. Love is ...

Love Is Two

Love

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." -Sophocles

I read a story recently about love explained in a way I never would have thought. The story goes that a woman asked a man if she was pretty, he said "No". She asked him if he wanted to be with her forever, he said "No". Then she asked him if he would cry if she walked away, he said "No". She had heard enough; she got up to leave.

As she walked away he grabbed her arm and told her to stay. He said "You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don`t want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I would die."

Love is more than you can ask for. It is more beautiful than we can ever be. It lasts longer than we can exist in the natural. It dries any tears that we might shed. Love is everything in our lives.

New Books, New Stories

"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit." -Khalil Gibran

As the days pass, I will begin to build up to the announcement of my new book. The manuscript is with the publisher and potentially a few edits and changes to make, are all that stand between now and publication. This book marks a slight shift from the past couple of books, CHANGED LIVES and LIVE THE JOURNEY.

In my new book called LOVE IS, the intent is to take you through a series of stories that will give you new perspective on what love is. There is a wide variety of good and many not so good definitions of what love is on display and talked about these days. This book should bring it all back to an easy and healthy way to know and understand what love really is.

Yes, I still use my own life experiences to illustrate what love does in life, the lessons learned, and the power of love in our lives. I also bring it around to one of the greatest love stories ever told. You will recognize it and in my book I attempt to break down the meaning of each sentence for you.

The name of that love story will have to wait, but if you think about it, you'll know which one I'm talking about. If not, once the book is out, you can read and find out what a huge impact love, the right kind of love, can have on your life.

Stay inspired my friends and if you are looking for a great read today, check out @DavidSpell new book Street Cop II (Reloaded). Read stories from a 30+ year career to find out what serving and protecting really means.

Shirley Neering Schmidt Creager

This past weekend my wife's mother Shirley passed away. She was born to Royal and Doris Luce a long time ago. She married Paul Schmidt and together they had eight beautiful and wonderful children; each still spread the joy that was Shirley, everywhere they go. Later in life she re-married and spent many years in the desert plains of Mesa, Arizona. It was a life with so many stories.

Shirley's life and story was filled with all of the pain and joy that comes with living this grand life. We each get to make what we want and can of that life. Shirley did just that.

You know, when a life ends, the length of that life is always far too short for those remaining. We each want one more day, an hour or even a few more seconds. But we do not get to chose the time or the place, we don't get to hold our loved ones in our arms forever.

What we do get to keep and hold onto are the memories and love for those that have passed before us. It is that love which will never cease, and means our loved ones will never end; love is eternal.

The following poem was written by Mary Frye in 1932. The inspiration came from a young Jewish woman who was living with Mary and her husband. This woman's mother was ill and living in Germany at the time. Due to the anti-Semitic unrest, her mother begged of her not to come back to Germany; that she would be okay.

Soon this young woman's mother died and she was heart-broken that she never had the chance to “stand by her mother’s grave and shed a tear”. She cried in pain at not being able to be with her mother and say goodbye.

Mary Frye then wrote the following poem.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there;
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there;
I did not die.

In our hearts and memories, Shirley will always be here with us. Even though we never had a chance to say goodbye, we know you are still here with us. And until we get to meet again, the stars will shine and the sun will warm our days. We will know that you are peacefully smiling upon each and everyone of us.

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert

"It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

As I draw closer to finishing the manuscript for my new book, there are stories I wish to tell. Stories that speak of love and how it manifests itself in our history and in our everyday lives.

Today is a love story about English royalty and the death of a royal. This is not the story of Princess Diana, however tragic that was. This is the story of a queen who mourned her husband's death for 40 years.

Queen Victoria was a lively, cheerful girl, fond of drawing and painting. She ascended to the throne of England in 1837 after the death of her uncle, King William IV. It was in 1840 that she married her first cousin, Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. While at first Prince Albert was unpopular in some circles because he was German, he came to be admired for his honesty, diligence, and his devotion to his family. The couple had nine children and Victoria loved her husband deeply. She relied on his advice in matters of state, especially in diplomacy.

Sad as it may be, Albert's death came suddenly; in November of 1861 he contracted typhoid fever. He was sick in bed for several weeks and fell silent from the disease on December 14. Albert was only forty-two years old and Victoria was devastated.

She wrote to one of her daughters, "How I, who leant on him for all and everything—without whom I did nothing, moved not a finger, arranged not a print or photograph, didn't put on a gown or bonnet if he didn't approve it shall go on, to live, to move, to help myself in difficult moments?"

For three years, Queen Victoria did not appear in public. While she held herself in seclusion, this generated quite a bit of criticism and several attempts were made on her life during this period. It took the influence of Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli to persuade Queen Victoria to resume public life, by opening Parliament in 1866.

Queen Victoria never stopped mourning her beloved Prince Albert. She always wore the color black until her death in 1901, a sum of forty years. It was during her reign, which was the longest in English history that Britain became a world power on which it is said "the sun never set."

The sun never set on her love for Albert, an example of undying love. A love that lived on beyond the physical and beyond their time together. Love can be that lasting.

Life Filled With Love

"Do all things with love." -Og Mandino

If you review many different sources and take an average amongst all of them, the life expectancy of a person living in the world today is 67.2 years. It works out to be 65.0 years for males and 69.5 years for females when you look at statistics for the years 2005–2010. And in all cases, with the exception of Zimbabwe, Lesotho, Swaziland and Afghanistan; women on average live longer than men in all countries. an interesting topic for another time I suppose.

Of course you will find people living longer in some countries and shorter in others depending upon the socio-economic and other conditions present. In example, Japanese have the highest life expectancy of 82.6 years of age, calculated during the years noted above. While estimates for 2011 show that 31.88 years of age is the average life one will likely live if born in Swaziland.

The United States comes in at 36th place with an average life span of 78.3 years of age. All very interesting and numbers that do exist on actuarial tables. We can boil down life to numbers on a chart for insurance purposes and population planning and for many other staid purposes.

What these charts and lists will not tell you is how well you feel about the life you live. They can not dictate the happiness you feel. They can not predict the amount of happiness you spread through out those years. Only you can determine the kind of happiness, cheerfulness and love that will fill those years. It is a choice you make.

Yes, the chore of living can be filled with stress, work and struggling to achieve. But it can also be filled with love and happiness. You get to create a little piece of heaven right here on earth.

Love Is

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.' -Lao Tzu

This is a special day for my wife and I as we celebrate an anniversary. It is the type of day that is only understood by two people. It can only have meaning for those two hearts.

The words between two people are not shared in a blog or video. Only two people can understand the words each speak. It is in the sound, the touch and the unspoken looks.

That is what love is.

Sufficient Love

"Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love." -Khalil Gibran

A bit light on articles this week although I plan on posting a couple of favorites from the past. I am taking this week to clear up a few things at work and then spend the rest with family on a short vacation.

The picture and quote shown above are a little hint of what my next book will be. I'm still a ways off but plan to have it ready for Christmas gift giving. As the time draws closer, I will give you more bits and pieces.

Until then, the books I have out there already could always use another reader. I am also working on getting them into eBook format which will make the whole idea of becoming an avid reader of mine easier.

All I ask is that you keep reading, keep dreaming, but more importantly keep moving forward.

Millions To Love

"If you want to be loved, be lovable." ~Ovid

In a city of twenty-two million people you can start to feel lost among the sameness of it all. You can begin to think you are actually alone while so many people pass you by. In moving through a crowd, it becomes easy to avoid eye contact with others. Especially when in a foreign land and unable to understand the language, you want to close down.

What I found though was the more I opened up, the more smiles I got in return. The same tends to happen with any one and any place you go. If you open up your heart to people, you may find them opening up to you.

But start at home, with your family, your friends and those close by. In time you will find others opening up to you. We can hate each other or we can love to be around each other. Like the huge number of bicycles to ride in this mega huge city, the same number of people are out there to love. Why not get on that bicycle and start pedaling. You may just find a whole lot of love waiting for you.

For me it starts with one person, my wife. It all gets bigger from there.

Love Is

One of the greatest love poems in the history of human existence. It actually comes from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) and is often referred to as the love poem.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Have a happy and loving Valentines day everyone. And a very special Happy Birthday to my daughter Shirin. Happy Birthday Momma Fletcher.

Vivere Amor Accipio

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You Learn - Alanis Morissette

There is a gentleman I met while in Phoenix not long ago. An older guy in his middle eighties but the abilities of a much younger man. When I first came upon him, he was moving items for donation in the 110 degree heat of Arizona. A small amount of sweat on his forehead, but moving better then most half his age.

He introduced himself as Garth and in anticipation of my next question, "yes, Garth Brokks was named after me....way after me." So right away I knew I would like this man, his humor and goodness. As we worked, we talked and I learned.

Garth lived for many years, working and struggling just like the rest of us. A job here, a new job there with job loss and started a new business that changed everything for him. But in all of that living, he had a wonderful wife that worked side-by-side with him. So much so that Mrs. Garth started a stained glass shop in the front of Mr. Garth's welding shop. She did so only because the welding business wasn't keeping her busy enough in the front office.

Their daughter now runs that shop and the welding business is no longer. It is sad to report that Mrs. Garth passed away some time ago. But there is still a sparkle in Garth's eyes when he speaks of Mrs. Garth. The love in his voice when he talks of her, and their lives together speaks volumes of a wonderful life.

In the various conversations I had with Garth, it was what was learned in life, the adjustment to it and the picking up of oneself that resonated so much. Garth kept living, loving and learning with each step along the way. When something knocked him down, he got up, dusted off the pain, and began moving again.

All along the way he not only helped himself to keep moving, but he helped others along his way. He continues to do so today, he is a great example is that the more you give to others, your life will be rewarded ten times that amount. He taught me life lessons during our conversations. He reminded me that life is a grand thing.

Vivere (live), amor (love), and accipio (learn) through out your grand life.

More Then Blue Loves The Sky

"Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard." ~Dave Mustaine

A fellow I know by the name of John Toner suffered a great loss recently. His wife, Sabrina Toner passed away unexpectedly. He along with their four daughters have had their lives suddenly and drastically changed by Sabrina's passing.

It is a great story of a loving mother who taught her daughters and husband so much in the short time that was their's. This was very evident in one of their daughters at the memorial service. Only nine years old, this brave young girl approached the lecturn and read a poem.

This was a poem she had written for her mother and wanted the whole world to hear. I can not remember all of the lines, but you will be moved by what I can repeat here.

I love you so very much
I love you more then colors love the rainbow
I love you more then words love the book

It goes on and is a very sweet but touching gift from a young daughter to a mother. her actions also teach us as adults that we can be strong and loving at the same time. She did not break down. She stood before the world and expressed what she and her family felt. And that was simply love for their mother Sabrina.

We can all be taught that moving on from a tragic event such as the loss of a loved one is tough. It is tough on kids and it is tough on adults. We can move on but leaving behind is the tough part. The love we carry inside for others and the sweet memories move on with us. That we must never forget.

Prayers and condolences fill the empty as much as possible for the Toner family. Yet it is love for Sabrina that will comfort them. More then leaves love the tree, more then blue loves the sky.

Christmas Love

"Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action." -Mother Teresa

The scene of a perfect Christmas made even more special by a Currier & Ives painting. The view we want to have of a gentle snow outside and a warm nestling fire inside fills our mind. Crisply wrapped gifts glisten under the wonderfully decorated tree draws our eye. So many times we have searched for the idyllic setting.

The perfect Christmas setting from these pictures and advertisement is hardly attainable. The wind will likely be blowing outside and the cold will still seep inside. The level of Christmas we attain is not the gifts nor the picture perfect setting.

The level of Christmas we achieve is the love we attach to all that we do. At this time of the year we have a little more grace in our hearts. At this time of year we have a little more giving in our pocket books. At this time, we simply love more.

Living A Gift

“People so seldom say I love you And then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn't mean I know you'll never go, Only that I wish you didn't have to.”

I do not know where the above quote originated from but it is a wonderful way to express your love of someone. And for those that read my blog know of my mother's pancreatic cancer, understand the reality of the sickness but know that love can work great miracles. With all of the treatments available, a great doctor and the support of family and friends, she will do well.

The faith that surrounds my family is strong enough to believe that she has a chance to live longer then the odds. So this past week was spent visiting with her, my father and my siblings. I view it as having been given a gift. She felt well during our stay and the love we have always shared grew a bit stronger.

This gift we shared is one that many people never realize until much too late. All of us were 'living a gift' to have this time together. The same should be experienced each day of your life. Try to live this gift which is given to you.

It is a gift of loved ones, of being able to say good morning, good evening and extending your love in many different ways. To live your days embracing those around you and to not let the minor problems in life get in the way.

Enjoy your life and experience the love of all that goes with with it.

Easter Greetings

“Love. What is love? No word can define it, it's something so great, only God could design it. Yes, love is beyond, what man can define, for love is immortal, and God's gift is divine.” -Unknown Author

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day Laura ! ! !

(and to all of my daughters, mother, sister, sister-in-laws)

Take the day to tell someone that you love them!

Mothers Day Revisited

I will start today asking each of you, "did you call your mother yesterday?" Or if she is no longer with us, did you stop and think of her? It is one of those things that as a child, you can never forget what she has done for or gone through for you.

Motherhood is one of those things in which one person (your mother) gives of herself to you. A serving attitude all in the course of raising her child. In return she will reap the benefit of undying love and adoration.

Mothers are as total as the sky;
Older than the earth, and more enduring.
They're rooted in our hearts like ancient trees,
Halfway down to seething lava seas;
Emblazoned on our sail, and on our mooring.
Returning home, we dwell within their sigh:
So maddening, so rich, so reassuring.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and all of the moms out there. And yes, I did call her yesterday!