Crayon Life

"Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up." ~Allen Klein

All it takes is a single cloudy day and the color of life seems to fade away. The greyness of the day simply takes over and it takes over our attitude. It is an odd thing but then the sun comes out and the light reflects wondrous colors.

The sparkling green of the grass or the deep blue of the sky, each does something to us. The red of the roses and the yellow pine pollen seem to jump out and grab hold of us. Colors that we had forgotten about in one day reclaim our attention.

The changing weather is almost like our ever changing lives. The ups and downs of circumstance that enter and exit our world. The dullness of the day replaced by joy and excitement the next. It is an ever shifting pattern that can frustrate you endlessly.

But if you always try to look at the goodness of the grey sky. The rain that follows that dampens the ground. There is something positive to be gained from those times. The rain feeds the ground which nourishes the flowers. The trees draw from it and the cooling shadow of the clouds gives retreat from the warm sun.

These days in our life will and are followed by the shining sun. We do come out of the greyness. We do get to stand again in the warm light of the day. The colors of our world return to fill our life.

Never despair, never give up; never allow the yourself to use only the grey colored crayon. Use all of the colorful crayons you have been given and brighten even the cloudiest day. Color your life with magical wonder to share with those around you.

No More All Fools Day

Foolish Questions #36

"There comes a morning in life when you wake up a new person; that is to say, you wake up the same person but you realize it's your own fault." ~Robert Brault

Here it is the first of April, well known as April Fools Day. Did it come from a copying error of the manuscript for Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in 1392? Did it come from the tale of Londoners being tricked into going to the Tower of London to see the Lions washed in 1698? Or maybe all of us have been fooled over and over these many years into believing it had something to do with anything at all.

Interestingly enough, we do have that ability which allows us to fool ourselves into believing what isn't true. In other words, we can get good at pushing the truth into darkness and living what isn't true. This type of self-deception can be partly explained by what psychologists call "confirmation bias" and also referred to as Morton's Demon.

Morton's Demon was a thought experiment created by the Scottish physicist James Clerk Maxwell. A hypothetical demon sits at the gate of our mind and if and when he sees supportive evidence coming in, he opens the gate. But if he sees contradictory information coming, he closes the gate. In this way, the demon allows us to believe we are right and avoid any of the contradictory information.

Dr. Stephen Diamond writes, "Consider the ordinary example of some heated conflict with a spouse, lover, relative or close friend. How is it that after the fact, each participant can have a completely contradictory version of what happened? Objectively speaking, first A happened, then B occurred, then C was said, D followed, etc. But what if the objective facts or our own behavior don't comport well with how we see ourselves? We distort the facts to support our particular point of view and to sustain our beliefs about the kind of person we are or want to be."

But enough with the medical terminology and explanations. We simply have the ability to fool ourselves. We fool ourselves so much we forget whom we really are at its worst.

Look in the mirror again today and rediscover who you really are. Find the real you inside. Robert Brault also said, "Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again."

Do not let that person slip by without getting to know him/her. Know yourself and let the greatness of you come to the surface.

Believe It

"We are what we believe we are." -C. S. Lewis

It can be hard, really hard, to believe in yourself and in the greatness of your life. Life has a pretty nasty way of throwing circumstance and events at you. Just when things seem to be going pretty good, you stumble on a rock or the rain washes away your bridge.

Things happen and holding onto belief can be downright impossible at times. But something is only impossible if that is what you believe in. If you believe you will never succeed, you won't. If you believe you will never achieve what you want in life, you won't.

Try turning that belief into something good for your life. Believe in you and your dreams. Believe that you will get that new job. Believe that you will lose those 20 pounds of weight.

Believe that you can and you will.

Quiet Good

"You don't have to know somebody to do good for somebody."
-Mennonite Woman

I was watching a nightly news story about Mennonite's from Central Pennsylvania that went to Diamond, Louisiana to assist those still recovering from Hurricane Katrina. They are rebuilding homes for many folks, which in turn is helping rebuild lives. All without payment, all without banners and celebrations. Quietly going about doing something good.

It is something that happens more often than you might think. There are individuals doing good things quietly. Many times people are helping those they know from family, church or work. Maybe a friend or other person through your child's school are being attended to. People helping other people within the community.

But as the unknown Mennonite woman said, "you don't have to know somebody to do good for somebody." It is giving for your fellow human being. It is helping out someone in need. It is doing all of this for the sole purpose of just doing good.

So many people have their stories of doing something for another; quietly and without trumpets and horns heralding their deed. If you would like to anonymously share your story, let me know. Send me a private email to josephprimm@bellsouth.net and I'll share the stories with others.

When No One Is Watching

DigitEL - Shadow Tree

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." -Abraham Lincoln

I was, putting it in a very uncool phrase,"surfing the web" for information on the subject of this article. Normally I pick a subject and then look for an accomodating quote. Today things happened a little backwards.

As I was "surfing the net" (much cooler phrase), I happened upon the above image created by DigitEL. The illusion of the tree's shadow on the hedges caught me right away. It really made me think of how we project an image to others but the real us is revealed when no one is watching.

The quote happened to follow pretty quickly, sort of a serendipitous discovery. I get lucky that way when writing some days. Things just come together. It works well as I like to write in private, quietly and all alone. All of this I do when no one is watching.

As you conduct the business of the day, the nice suit and tie exuding confidence. Your smile and friendly aura fills the office and lives of others. But what happens when you go home, in the privacy of home with your spouse and children. Do they get that same attention and care. What happens when no one is watching.

You might ask if we all need perfection? I wish we could but we should try to strive for it. The person we are in public should be the same person we are in private as best we can. The stress of the day can mount and tire you until you come home and it all releases when no one is watching.

But guess what, your kids are watching. Your wife is watching. The neighbors at the very least can hear it. More importantly, you can see it yourself. Look in the mirror to see whom is the real you when no one is watching.

I try to apply all that I write. I try to be the person both in private and publicly that these words encourage you to be. I know that others are watching me. I know that my family is watching. I know that I strive to be a better person even when no one else is watching.

We can live the two lives of a tree and its shadow, or we can be the rock solid tree with our one identity. Like the tree, we will go through our seasons of wonderful color, the loss and the budding new green of life.

But those things will be the real us and not a shadowing attempt at something which isn't. We will always be that tall and strong oak tree, even when no one is watching.

Thunderstorms

"We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Early one morning, I was awaken by the crashing boom of thunder. It was the type of thunder that rattles the very walls of the house. There was very little lightening to warn you of the coming thunder. At first is was odd not to see the lightening followed by the thunderous sound.

Quickly though it lulled me back to sleep. That in itself would amaze many of my siblings. I am unsure how it developed, but I had a deathly fear of storms when growing up. And since I grew up on the plains of Nebraska, large thunderstorms were common.

The mere thought of a raging storm filled with lightening and thunder raised fears of great proportion in me. There were times in which I felt so afraid and would cower in a basement corner. The fear holding a tight grip on me in a way I couldn't explain.

Fear can have a debilitating effect on you in ways that can crush your ability to do anything at all. It stifles and takes hold of your entire life. Fear basically keeps you from moving on with your life.

Take the news stories of the telecommunications giant AT&T agreeing to purchase T-Mobile for $39 billion dollars. A staggering sum of money, but with many individual people affected. I know many of those people that work in many various positions. They range from sales associates, to managers and even regional directors. Each of these people will be affected; both in good and bad ways.

One of these folks is a store manager and recently admitted that she at first could have gone to fear with the news. She could have thought the worst; allowing doom and gloom to cover her life. But she resolved to trust first in her faith and secondly in her ability to push through whatever happens.

You may think that is a naive way of thinking. But it is always easier to go to the negative. It always takes more effort to remain positive. Success and achievement take effort.

When the storms come crashing through your window, will you allow fear to rule? Or will you face the fear with resolve to overcome it?

I can tell you that my fear of thunderstorms caused me sleepless nights. Storms ruled the day until I realized that it wasn't the storms; it was the fear that I was allowing to rule my life.

The first crack of thunder still wakes me at night, but it also lulls me back to a gentle sleep. Fear remains outside to fend for itself, far from the life you are building.

Walk the Distance

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." -Steven Wright

Recently I had a Twitter exchange with @LaughNYC. Originally he had tweeted, "I've got a frog in my mouth and it's making me horse <----lots of animals going on in there." And being the wise guy that I can sometimes be retweeted it with the comment, "Galloping frogs legs Batman!"

Humor, dry at times or outright guffaws, has a place in our life. It is a way to ease the tension and a way to simply make you feel good. Humor can make a point about life in a light hearted way. Or it can be very piercing and spirited in the punch line.

Either way, humor has its place in our life. As noted by the comedian Steven Wright, the road we are on is long, but only if we have enough time to walk its length. His dry wit has always amused me but his point is well taken. You can get to any place that you want by walking; that is if you have enough time.

Achieving our dreams or goals are just as achievable. You simply need to have enough time and persistance to get to them. But it means getting up now and moving towards it. That along with time and a little humor will get you most anywhere you want.

Blade of Grass

“You could cover the whole earth with asphalt, but sooner or later green grass would break through.” -Ilya Ehrenburg

It seems at times that we are surrounded by thick walls. Walls that have no clear way of getting through. They are too high and too strong. No windows, no doors and no way to get to the other side. So we quit trying. We sit on our hands and lament the impossible.

Yet even a single blade of grass never quits trying. It keeps working at the covering above it. A weak spot here, a crack over there; searching for a way to break through.

You are that blade of grass. You keep trying, you keep searching, you find a way through. Eventually it happens. Like that blade of grass covered by ashpalt, you break through the wall. You find a way to get past what confines you. You experience the sunshine, you experience greatness.

Just Start

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Along with all that life is throwing at us, kids in school, a busy work schedule and a spouse's surgery; we decided to remodel a good share of the house. All at the same time and all culminating in our time being filled to the brink.

I would not say it is overwhelming for all of us (me, you and everyone else) as each of us has the capacity to do more then we give ourselves credit for. I would say that we took this on because waiting just wasn't in the cards. We were ready to move on all of it even if we didn't think we were completely ready.

What I mean by that is all of us have something we want or want to do in life. But inevitably we procrastinate or reason that the timing isn't perfect. Yet now is the perfect time. Now is when you should be starting to get on with your life.

For us, an opened wall between our dining room and living room will create a grand space for family and friends. Fresh paint on the walls will brighten rooms in which we gather. The new carpets will comfort our feet as we dance away the days. Yes, getting on with life in spite of all that happens is a good thing.

Take a moment to breath a short sigh and then get on with it. Start moving forward with your life. Start the makeover, start the new class, start with starting as opposed to waiting. Your life will be so much grander for having done so.

Care

"We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I am limiting my writing this week in order to spend my time taking care of someone special. My wife had surgery last Friday and is now at home recuperating. Since I place her well being very high on my list of priorities, I have taken the week off to care for her.

The word 'care' is defined by Merriam-Webster as a person or thing that is an object of attention, anxiety, or solicitude. It is to direct ones attention or concern towards.

Which really means to disregard thoughts of self and direct them towards another. It is a moment or period of time in which we stop worrying about just ourself. It is a moment or period of time in which we start living outside of ourself.

As humans, we can become very 'self-absorbed' in our own life. So much that we fail to see our connection with others. The bonding of our lives with others that only comes from caring.

There are those that would argue that, "I give money to charity" or "We sponsor a local kids soccer program" is enough. Those things are well and good, but where is the caring connection? Where is the personal touch of your life within theirs?

Our lives become great and fulfilled when we interact with others. The connection of caring for others becomes greater then self. When all of this happens, we raise the level of our own lives; we raise the self.

When you take time to go outside of 'you', amazingly that caring will come back around to 'you'.

A Day Off

I will be back next week. Just taking the day off and paying attention to other more important things.

Have a great weekend!

Prepare

"I will prepare and some day my chance will come." ~Abraham Lincoln

You get up in the morning, shower, dress and eat breakfast. Some then start the car while others head off to the bus stop. You arrive, grab a coffee or other drink and sit at your desk. Or you put on gloves and a hard hat, making your way towards the task at hand.

Lunch arrives, you open your lunch pail or the menu. Maybe a personal phone call or two and then back to work until the time to leave arrives. So back into your car or to a bus ride home. The dog needs to be walked, the supper cooked, maybe a school meeting or catching up on your reading.

The time for bed comes around finally and pajama dressing, teeth brushing and setting the alarm for the next morning. All of this happens day in and day out, most times without even thinking about it.

But everything you do or have done required some level of preparation. It took some planning, some thought and some decision making. You then put each of those things into action.

Now think about your visions or dreams. Have you prepared? Have you planned? Have you put them into motion?

Paperwork of Life

"We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming." ~Wernher von Braun

Recently I spent a day with my wife going to her pre-operative medical visits. She was going to have surgery in a few days and these visits were a necessary part. So together, we bravely marched on towards the day.

Now I will admit that previous medical visits required numerous forms to fill out. We know that a visit to the doctor is probably also a date with paperwork. Even in today's 'electronic' age of computers, the need for paper still exists.

And again, as we made our way to each of three appointments, additional paperwork to read and sign. I am certain there are legislators, regulators and lawyers out there earning a very good living by the looks of it.

But in all of the ink and pulp, the human factor remained. People in a profession (medical) doing a professional job and being friendly. Each and everyone of them, happy, pleasant and just enjoying the work. We may have been 'another patient and husband' but we certainly didn't feel that way.

Do you project a positive image in your daily work? Will people get the impression that they matter and that you enjoy your work? If not, then one of two things need to happen. You either need to change your attitude or find new work. It isn't worth being miserable just to earn a paycheck. It isn't worth living your life in that manner.

Change the way you approach your work. Make it an enjoyable experience not only for you but for those around you. If you can not do that, think about finding something that does bring joy to your daily work life. Most of us are going to spend nearly forty years or more working.

That is at least half of your life time. Don't spend those years in a miserable way. Spend those years enjoying the days.

You are the only one that can make that change. It is not your boss, it is not your co-worker, and it isn't even the money. It is you that controls your own attitude.

Get on with the paperwork that will always be there. But also get on with a great and enjoyable life. It is your choice. Initial those pages, sign at the bottom and get on with it.

Tuesday

“I always give 100% at work:
13% Monday
22% Tuesday
26% Wednesday
35% Thursday
4% Friday”

Not really.

It is 100% all of the time because that is how you live life. You give 100% to work. You give 100% to your relationships. You give 100% to yourself.

You live life and you work at it. Whether it is Tuesday or Friday, you live life to its fullest. You live life at 100%.

Compassion For Others

"Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves." ~Mason Cooley

Each of us have witnessed on television the devastating images from Japan. The earthquake and then a large scale tsunami wreaked widespread death and destruction. One can not help but be moved to compassion for those people affected.

The Wednesday before this natural disaster, I was flying through Tokyo on my way home. During my four hour layover, I learned that I had just missed the rumblings of an early morning earthquake. Little did I or anyone sitting around me was was about to happen.

It is in our hearts to spill over with compassion when others are hurt. This compassion not only extends to great disasters, but should be an everyday piece of your heart.

There are people all around you in need. Some more then others and some with just a little need to get them through the day. This does not mean that I am ranking need. I am only saying that when you rise above yourself, the compassion for others will naturally flow from you.

Individually we can not solve many of the problems of the world. But start small, start with yourself, start by simply having compassion where its needed. Eventually you will find yourself among others doing great things.

Here Today

"My today is both my yesterday and tomorrow." ~Joseph Primm

Recently I returned from a two week business trip to Asia. It was a very good trip and successful in what I was able to accomplish. As always though, it is good to be back home.

When traveling to that part of the world, the clock is roughly thirteen hours ahead of my normal time zone. So for the length of my stay, I tend to be half a day ahead in time. In the practical sense, you are a day ahead of those you normally hang around.

The change can have a dramatic effect upon your body. There is an appropriate scene in the movie "Lost in Translation" in which Bill Murray is sitting on his bed looking out the window. It is the middle of the night in Tokyo, but he is wide awake as if still sitting in the U.S.

The movie itself is not my wife's favorite, but I like it only because of the lost feeling one experiences during a dramatic time change.

Writer's note: The movie does not depict the writer's beliefs in how one handles the situation.

The feeling is one of not being in one's own present time. The balance of past, present and future is out of whack. You push through and do the right things, you tell yourself that its simply a time adjustment. But deep inside you feel you have missed something.

Upon returning home, my adjustment is normally pretty quick. Sure, a few nights of sleeping extra and getting back into the swing happen. Yet the feeling of slipping back into the normal comes quickly.

Its the idea that where you are now is where you are supposed to be. It is the balance of what has happened to you and the direction you are headed. We each live our lives the best we can.

We are products of our past but we should not live there. Also, we can not live in the future until we have fulfilled the present. Learn what you can from what has happened in your life and use today in preparation for a greater tomorrow.

Choose The Life

"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." ~Grandma Moses

So how do you make a great life? Is there a procedure manual laying about in some box that someone forgot to give you? Can we perform an internet search and find the perfect blog? Or maybe there is a college course we can take that wasn't listed in the general catalog.

Unlikely and very impossible to achieve without just living life. Getting up every day and putting yourself out there will teach you the most. It is likely you will get hurt along the way. It is likely that you will make mistakes. But it will be the life you make it.

I had always thought there was some secret to all of this. A well kept secret that no one would ever tell me. A secret so hidden that if only I found it, my life would achieve greatness.

Then it happened on a rainy day, sitting on my back porch. It was my life and it was mine to determine how I felt about it. It was a pact between my God and myself to make it a great life.

You have the ability to create a great life as well. It is up to you to change the way you think, the way you feel and the attitude you choose. It is your choice. Make it a great one.

Millions To Love

"If you want to be loved, be lovable." ~Ovid

In a city of twenty-two million people you can start to feel lost among the sameness of it all. You can begin to think you are actually alone while so many people pass you by. In moving through a crowd, it becomes easy to avoid eye contact with others. Especially when in a foreign land and unable to understand the language, you want to close down.

What I found though was the more I opened up, the more smiles I got in return. The same tends to happen with any one and any place you go. If you open up your heart to people, you may find them opening up to you.

But start at home, with your family, your friends and those close by. In time you will find others opening up to you. We can hate each other or we can love to be around each other. Like the huge number of bicycles to ride in this mega huge city, the same number of people are out there to love. Why not get on that bicycle and start pedaling. You may just find a whole lot of love waiting for you.

For me it starts with one person, my wife. It all gets bigger from there.

For Every Nickel

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." ~Albert Einstein

If I had a nickel for every mistake I have made in life, my riches would be boundless. And without those mistakes, I would not be nearly the person I am today.

We all make mistakes at one point or another in our life. some of us make a lot of them while others seem to have a perfect track record. The amount of mistakes is not what is important though. It is how you handle those mistakes which is important.

If you never learn or grow from a mistake, then it is the mistakes which control your life. But with each misstep or failure, if something new is learned then it only improves your life. It puts you closer to a greater life. Certainly it can feel like one step forward and two steps back. But in reality a mistake is just the opposite.

One step back and two steps forward should become your way of thinking. Learn from those mistakes and try to never repeat them. You will of course repeat mistakes from time to time. Again its all about using those mistakes to move your life forward.

Maybe now is the time to put a nickel in a jar for all the mistakes you make. Allow those mistakes to add up in your favor. A jar full of nickels is not a jar full of mistakes, but a jar full of life.

Burning Bright

"People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society." ~Vince Lombardi

There is a lamp on the desk where I am writing this article. A long chrome lamp that uses an LED bulb. This type of bulb is one of those in which several, thirty-six in fact because I counted them (inside joke for those that know me).

What interested me was that I could take my finger and cover any one of those LEDs and the light still shined brightly on the desk. So I tried covering several and the overall light remained very good. I could even touch each of them individually without burning my finger.

Try covering an older incandescent bulb, or touch it for that matter. The older light bulbs burned very hot, used a lot of energy and burned out in a short amunt of time. The LED bulbs together burn cool, use less energy and last much longer.

Sort of an example that working together can benefit the individual as much as the entire group. With everyone working as one, the light of success can still shine through.

The world has problems from global sized events down to the smallest of personal strife. When we work collectively on these issues, we can overcome them. We can solve things by working together.

The light will burn longer, brighter and cooler then any single individual bulb. Be part of a larger solution in life and make it a greater life.

Miracle of a new Day

Walk To Beautiful

"The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth." ~Chinese Proverb

The sun has come up and the fog begins to burn away as life awakens to a new day. Fresh coffee brews and the smell of breakfast emanates from the kitchen. The activity of this day comes to life and a new miracle begins.

Life gives us this miracle each and every day. Its a chance to experience the greatness of our lives. Its a chance to experience the miracle of a new day.

Get up and walk the earth. Get up and live the miracle.

Travel with Purpose

Pilgrim statue by Jose María Acuña in front of Parador de San Marcos - LEON, SPAIN

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends." ~Maya Angelou

I am fortunate enough in life that my job gives me the opportunity to travel all around the world. It certainly isn't every week or even every month that I travel abroad, but so many places I have seen.

Some of these places I have been able to share with my wife. Others I have had to document in pictures and stories for her and those that I know. The world is still quite large in spite of how small it seems at times.

The statue above reminded me of the pilgrimage all of us are on. The journey to something in life that requires us to sit and reflect at times. A short rest from the travel we endure each and every day.

It could be your daily pilgrimage around your hometown or possibly across state. Where ever the road leads you in life, I have found people are pretty much the same as you and I are.

People all around the world, from where I am today in Shenzhen, China across the globe to my home in Atlanta, Georgia; all are living life the best way they know how. Each of us get up in the morning and get ready for work. If we have kids, we are getting them off to school. We are battling traffic to get to our job or running to catch a bus or train.

The work goes on, the lunch time routine and back home to make supper or shop for groceries; it remains the same for all of us. If we look beyond ourselves, we'll find that our similarities outnumber the differences. The languages might be different, the cultures not understood, but the act of living is the same.

I might be the only red-headed Irish-German within 100 miles of Shenzhen. Although there was the teen with brightly painted red hair walking down the street. But as you can see, even young people go through their phases across the cultures and generations.

If we take the time to look beyond ourselves, to look beyond the distance and cultural differences, maybe we can work things out. The arguments and disagreements will still occur; even our own families argue. Yet to understand each other a little better could go a long way in making life a little better.

Travel with purpose to understand those near to you and those far from you. The journey will take us to a better life, a better way of living and a better tomorrow.

Communicate

"Communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more." ~Bob Nelson

It happens to each of us, a situation comes up between two or more people and feelings get hurt or misunderstandings arise. One person thought the other knew something or another didn't give the whole story.

The problem normally is caused by a lack of communication. Its a pure and simple explanation for many of the problems that occur in our life. The lack of communication could be intentional and at other times inadvertent.

But in the end, if we just keep talking to each other we'll avoid many of the misunderstandings that get in the way of a great life.

Keep talking, keep communicating and life will be a whole lot easier. Can you hear me now?!

After All

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak” ~Thomas Carlyle

Thirteen years ago on a quiet Monday morning Lawrenceville Georgia Police were called to a family restaurant called Tanner's. It was a nice and friendly place that specialized in chicken dinners. What police found was a horrible double-murder carried out in a cold and brutal fashion.

A manager named Marc Ratthaus was killed and when the day chef, Adolfo Gonzales showed up, he too was shot and killed. Two young men with different stories and different lives with the same ending. It was heart breaking all around. The killings impacted many, many lives; the restaurant closed, people moved on.

Two brothers were arrested and found guilty of the robbery and murders. They each claimed a third man was the trigger man although one of the brothers was found to have killed at least one man. This third man escaped and it was felt by many that he would never be found or that he ever existed.

You have likely guessed correctly already. They found William Zepeda. They captured him, and now a court date will result and William Zepeda will have to confront this awful crime.

But what of the law enforcement officials? Their persistence in pursuing this case didn't end thirteen years ago. When the third suspect disappeared, they didn't give up, they continued the search. It is this persistence that defines their work. It is this persistence which defines their character.

I had thought of many ways to talk of persistence in our daily lives. To never give up and to keep pushing forward with our lives. It was when I picked up the newspaper today, February 23, 2011 my mind changed about the actual application of the word persistence.

It made me think about the word in a different context. It also gave me a chance to honor not only the Lawrenceville Police Department, but also any of the folks in law enforcement. You see my son worked at that restaurant. My son had been in the store that same morning to pick up his pay check. My son was not hurt and the persistence of law enforcement people comforts me.

Persistence can do quite a bit for your life. It can capture a suspect after thirteen years but it can also capture a dream. Remain persistent in your life and things will work out eventually.

A Brick

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley

I guess you figuratively are not walking down the street with people throwing bricks at you. But it can certainly feel like it at times. The oddity is that it also feels like you are picking up those same bricks to carry.

It is sort of a "double-whammy" in that you are being pelted with bricks and having to pick them up carry them away. You could say it is very similar to a wagon full of rocks. An ever increasing load that you allow others to put upon your life.

The weight and size of this load slows your progress and eventually might break you down. It is a terrible thing to see a load of brick or rock come tumbling down upon someone's life. When it happens, there are only two possible results; complete destruction of the persons life or fighting renewal.

I have seen the destruction in people's lives. The kind in which they never recover and no matter how much you want; they are buried forever. It is a heart breaking process to watch but one that I learned from. No matter how heavy or burdensome, there is hope and possibility as long as life exists within you.

Start laying the bricks down, stop shouldering them and let them lift you. The foundation you can build can serve a couple of purposes. One is give you greater footing and raise you above the soft ground. A foundation that creates a means for you to reach greater heights.

These same bricks can be used to build a path for others to follow. A path that serves as an example to your spouse, your children, your friends, or others that are watching. Because the choices we make, the decisions on how we respond are being watched. Other people are learning by seeing how you respond and the path you lay for them will be everlasting.

Are you going to leave a pile of bricks or a nice brick path behind?

Ageless

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" ~Satchel Paige

Our family has a Fox Terrier named Snickers but also goes by the Twitter pseudonym of @nacholibredog. This dog is full of energy and excitement when the time is right. Her rapid movement reminds me of those videos in which you are walking slow but the whole word is moving at lightening speed. It can be a real whirlwind of excitement.

What I managed to do the other day though was to start chasing our dog around the house. Up the stairs, around the dining room table and back. The burst of activity caught up to me faster then it would have a nine year old. But even at my age, I still felt like a nine year old during those moments.

Age had nothing to do with the fun during those moments. I did get a reminder of my age, but it won't deter me from doing it again. I continue to float between many different ages. It comes down to trying to have an ageless attitude.

It sounds like wishful thinking but it does work. Just because you may age in terms of years, your mind can have limitless dreams. An article about aging in Forbe's indicated that "only 1% considered age a barrier to achieving their goals." This tells me that the mind wants to continue doing all that it can regardless of our physical age.

All of this comes with the inevitable need to maintain a healthy level of weight, exercise and many of those other aspects to keep your health. But it also takes the right kind of attitude. If you think you are old and act like you are old then chances are you will live life old.

Does all of this mean we will live forever? Of course not, the cycle of life has its hold on us.

Does all of this mean we will be forever youthful? Of course not, the body physically ages.

What it does mean is that you can live an ageless life with the attitude that you carry inside. Your attitude about life can generate a great life beyond the physical aging. Your attitude can carry you further then you might expect.

Try changing your attitude about your age. Change the way you live.

Full Moon

"Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe. It gives of itself and is not thereby diminished." ~Michael Strassfeld

Every time it happens I'm simply amazed by the wonder of it. The beauty it casts upon the landscape can be breathtaking at times. I have yet to see a photograph that truly captures the view. While there are many excellent pictures and paintings, none captures it more then just seeing it for yourself.

What I'm talking about is a full Moon, shining upon the night and lighting up the dark half of the earth.

Moon light could be considered a harbinger of hope, that a new day is coming. It is something that is inside each of us. Some little light that others may call a burning ember. But it is that little light that grows and gives us the ability to see some greater.

You might feel that you are much too alone. That the light is too small for me because your problems are much too large. If so, then think about it from the perspective of the Moon.

Here a small object, orbiting around by itself in a cold and hostile space. Heck, only twelve people have actually visited the moon in the last 100 million years.

But during all of that time, a huge and beautiful Earth has been shining its light upon the Moon. So the light inside of you is not the small Moon but a huge light filled with people that care. The light comes from so many others that are a part of your life.

While the Moon lights the night darkness for us, from the perspective of the Moon, imagine how grand the light is coming from Earth.

Allow the light to grow inside and fill you with hope and greatness. The darkness will vanish and your eyes will see all that is in and around you.

Overcoming Anything

"Fear is your greatest obstacle - so question your fear. If it does not serve your greatest life then do not make it your master." ~Joy Page

As you go through life, there are going to be obstacles attempting to weigh you down. There will be things that try to slow you down. There will be people that try to stand in the way of your dreams. Take the life of a man named Barry Pincus. Born in Brooklyn in the early 40s, his parents divorced when he was just two years old.

As he grew up he learned to play piano and learned what he could of music. His mother then remarried when he was nearly 13. She married a man named Willie who drove a beer truck for the Schaefer Brewery. It was through his mother's new husband that a whole new world opened up. Willie had a record collection of Jazz and Broadway musicals that vastly changed the way Barry Pincus viewed his world.

As he grew up, Barry Pincus worked his way through Julliard's School of Music and worked in the mail room at CBS Television. Like many others, he started at the bottom in the mailroom and worked his way up. Life probably couldn't get any better for Barry Pincus some thought. But he kept his dreams intact and there was nothing that was going to keep him down. Even after marriage and an emotional divorce that would set many back, Barry Pincus ventured on.

He started work at composing music and performing at small gigs. He even wrote jingles for commericals to support himself and to feed his vision. Eventually he connected with a person by the name of Bette Midler and the two performed with Barry being the musical director. The two became a very successful pair and Barry Pincus gained popularity as well.

Barry Manilow is how Barry Pincus is better known. He is famous for his multitude of songs and very successful performing career. He did much of this in the face of harsh music critics. Many called his music 'sentimental garbage', a tough remark for anyone to face. But Barry Manilow persevered in his dreams and remains very popular today.

Barry Pincus could have 'folded his cards' many times when others set out to criticize and place those obstacles in his path. Your life faces many of the same challenges. Never give up. Always believe in your dreams, believe in your visions.

Overcome the obstacles in your life and find your greatest life.

Memories

"Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember." ~Seneca

There are three dates that cling in my memory like many others.

20 Oct 1989

14 Oct 2008

04 Jan 2011

These dates mark the passing of a sister, a mother and most recently a brother. Each of them were mournful and hard just like the ones you have or may have to go through. But each of them also were and remain a celebration of the lives that they lived.

I remember the days of large family picnics where our large family got together with cousins and aunts and uncles. It seemed in those days everyone had large families. So the gatherings were large and wild and tiring and ... yes, I have some fond memories of those events.

I remember our own family gathered whether it be at a picnic table or at the dinner table. All of us together, even with the childhood bickering that could happen, I still relish those memories. The gathering of our family was always an event in my mind. It solidified who we were as a family. It made us a family.

After a day of flowers and cards, sweet chocolates and kisses, I'm reminded of the love and great time with those that have gone before me. It brings a smile to my face to remember each of them. It brings a smile to my face believing that the three are together with others at a large picnic. It brings a smile to my face knowing they are peacefully in my mind.

You have the ability to create memories that are lasting and loving. We create them each and every day. It does not happen just on Valentines Day. It happens each morning when you kiss your loved ones before heading out to work. It happens when you hug your kids when you see them. It happens when you sit down to a meal.

Memories are stored inside each of us, meant to be brought out as a reminder of the love we have and have been given. Yes, the bad memories do exist but are overpowered by the loving ones. Create memories for your life and in the lives of others.

Dean Martin sang a song called "Memories Are Made Of This" that is a nice reminder. Enjoy and then make some memories to be cherished and remembered for a very long time.

Love Is

One of the greatest love poems in the history of human existence. It actually comes from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) and is often referred to as the love poem.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Have a happy and loving Valentines day everyone. And a very special Happy Birthday to my daughter Shirin. Happy Birthday Momma Fletcher.

Face to Face

"Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one's soul.." ~Martin Luther King, Jr

Main Entry: impersonal
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: cold, unfriendly
Synonyms: abstract, bureaucratic, businesslike, candid, cold turkey, cold-blooded, colorless, cool, detached, disinterested, dispassionate, emotionless, equal, equitable, fair, formal, impartial, indifferent, inhuman, neutral, nondiscriminatory, objective, poker-faced, remote, straight, strictly business, unbiased, uncolored, unpassioned

Every day it seems that our lives become much more impersonal with the use of email and social networks. The idea of a face-to-face conversation even is terrifying to some people. We walk around all day looking at our Blackberry or sit at dinner playing with our iPhone. I am certainly one that has to work at setting those devices down and simply talking.

An example of the impersonal nature of life comes in the form of our housing mortgage problems. Yes, you can say that many lenders and borrowers were like 'drunken sailors on shore leave' (apologies to the Navy for using this euphemism).

Everyone was lending money, everyone was borrowing money and much of it outside of their means. And when things turned sour in the economy, the worst of these were first to go. But then the people that had qualified, were making payments, were doing everything right lost a piece of the American dream.

Their hours were reduced, many lost jobs due to the economic downturn and many started to do what they could to uphold their end of the deal. The banks, the mortgage lenders, the money side of this equation started feeling the pinch as well. They were looking for any means to shore up their losses and clean up their books. So many started calling in these loans.

Now I'm over simplifying but on the surface, the cards started to fall all around many people. The worst part of it was the impersonal nature in how it was done. The form letters informing people that they were 'seriously' in arrears. The increasingly tough letters to back people up against the wall. Take it or leave it deals.

All the while, a friendly ending to each saying thank you for your attention to this matter. They even provided phone numbers that when you called would proclaim, "we value your business." All very impersonal, all very stale and no one that you could speak with face-to-face.

Now my wife and I have never fallen into this situation. But the stories we have heard, the stories we have read tell a tale of people just trying to do what is right. But those same people were getting a cold, stale look in return.

Yes, again there are those that over borrowed, those that tried to take advantage of the system. But many were just trying to achieve their dreams. And it is the impersonal nature in which lenders and mortgage holders reacted that contributed as well.

To sit down in front of someone, face-to-face and have a discussion about a situation goes much further. Tension can be the beginning, but once two people look each other in the eye, the healing begins. When you put down the phone, when you stop typing those emails, and talk; things begin to get accomplished.

All of the gadgets we have in life are fantastic and do a lot of great things for our lives. But the most important thing in life is two or more people gathered. Talking to each other, sharing a meal, sharing their lives with each other.

Think about it and then have a face-to-face conversation with someone.

My Attitude

"We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them." ~Elbert Hubbard

What is attitude and how does it relate to you and others?

To me it is a core component of not only one's work but is an essential part of one's life. There are people that go through life constantly battling the belief that, "..if only others would treat me more nicely, then I could have a more positive attitude." These people always believe that others are the reason for their misery. And since others are to blame for their feeling this way, then they justify treating others just as poorly. It is an easy way not to take responsibility for your own actions.

I myself would never say it is easy to maintain a great attitude. My drive into work each day leads me to a freeway and lots of merging cars and people including myself that should have left 5 minutes earlier. Road tension can be high especially when you couple that with a general belief that your own driving skill is better then that of anyone else. There is plenty of opportunity for someone to purposely or inadvertently cut you off or send you a signal.

But how do you let it effect you?

Early in the morning, on the way to work, are you willing to let that other person set the tone of the day for you? Many people do and it isn't just the checkout person in the big discount store that allows it to effect themselves. It is also the person taking service calls over the phone, the bank teller handling your money and yes, the CEO on his or her way to an important meeting.

Attitude is a choice and your life can be changed by changing your attitude. Norman Vincent Peale said, "human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes." It can and does change lives. It can start on that morning drive to work. Try it some time when somebody 'wrongs' you on the road. Just smile and keep your hands firmly on the steering wheel. You may be surprised how it changes your day.

Winter Imagination

"The color of springtime is in the flowers, the color of winter is in the imagination." ~Terri Guillemets

Winter can be depressing at times. The constant cold wind and snow blanketing the landscape are reminders of its grip on us. In some areas the dull brown fields and bare trees give us a sense that life has opted not to try anymore.

All of this can lead to a feeling of hopelessness. Really kind of depressing isn't it?

But life has not given up, life is in repose, dreaming of the spring which lay ahead. Life itself has an imagination and is planning the wonders that will bud forth in a few months. The flowers, the green grass, and the shade of new leaves exploding forth signaling a new season.

You can take this winter time to dream and imagine of the spring. A new season in your life full of excitement and change. The winter season will allow you to rest and imagine a new and greater season.

When you bud forth into a changed life, your best life, the winter time will have seemed very worthwhile. It can change your life if you allow it to spur your imagination of greater things.

Everyday Art

"Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art." ~Miguel Angel Ruiz

The definition of art can have several meanings to different people. That in itself tells me that art is in the "eye of the beholder" as the saying goes. It exists within our own mind and sometimes others share the same thought.

But what of those things that do not rise to the level of grand art? Does it make it less artistic?

Each day that I'm up and about, there are moments in which something wonderful or beautiful appear. It may be a cloud formation, the rustling of the winter brown leaves or the turn of a page by my wife. None of these last in time but they do last in my memory.

You have the ability each moment of your day to experience the beauty of life. Sometimes they are collections of art from history's greatest. Sometimes they are the fleeting moments that build a collection of memories.

Allow yourself to look past the ordinary and see the wonders of art in your everyday life. Capture the moments, the sounds and the smells that will fill your memory with a lifetime of good.

Let art be more than a painting on a wall. Let art be a part of your everyday life. Let your life be the art.

Hay for the Winter

"When the hay is removed and new growth appears and the grass from the hills is gathered in, the lambs will provide you with clothing, and the goats with the price of a field." ~Proverbs 27:25-26

Growing up we had a large alfalfa field which we used to help support the livestock on our farm. When in the early stages of bloom, the purple flowering buds and swaying in a light wind was a beautiful sight to see.

It was also at this point when cutting and baling was performed. We didn't use the old-time sickle but a more modern sickle bar. The sweet smell of freshly cut alfalfa was an amazing thing each time. And carefully we rowed and turned the hay as it dried before baling.

This process would go on through out the season, carefully keeping watch of our fields. The field produced over and over again each time it was cut. We could rely upon the hay field to meet our needs. But it took careful tending not to let the weeds take over and with adequate rainfall these fields kept our livestock well fed. In turn we remained well fed as is the cycle of life on the farm.

Your own life has a field of hay in some form or another. It could be your job, a relationship, or your family. You tend those fields and those fields will produce great things for your life, over and over again.

But notice I didn't say you always take the harvest from the fields of your life. You have to put work and effort into tending those fields. It takes you being engaged to keep the cycle turning.

The fields of your life will continually provide the needs in your life when you keep them well taken care of. The winters of your life will be filled with the harvest of great relationships, and hard work. Keep your eye upon those fields which will feed and warm you when winter comes.

Again the growing season will appear and the cycle of life continues.

One Small Step

"Sometimes its the numerous little steps we take that move us further then the giant leap." ~Joseph Primm

We grab hold of a vision or dream in our life. The power of it becomes so strong that we fly out the door in pursuit of it. We run to the highest hill and scan the horizon in search for a direction. As we turn, far off in the distance, maybe to the north or possibly to the west, there it is.

Even though it looks so small, it feels as though we could reach out and touch it. Or with one large leap, we could step over the valley and stand right next to it. It is in the valley where the hard work, the setbacks and those naysayers await you. It is those things we may want to skip past.

So we stand there trying to figure out a way to reach our goal in one giant step. We may even try to make a running jump from the hilltop only to find that gravity (also known as life) takes over. You tumble down the hillside and find yourself not at all where you wanted to be.

You dust yourself off at this point. But don't head back up the hill to reconsider or try jumping again. Dust yourself off and just start walking towards the dream.

Reaching the dream requires that you live the journey; living each step along the way. The good and the bad will happen but each can thrill you and also weigh upon you. Each and every small step adds to your life while placing you closer to the dream.

With many small steps you will eventually find yourself standing next to what was once a dream. You will be standing next to the reality of your vision. You will be standing high upon a new and higher hill. From there you will be able to look back across the valley to where you once were.

And standing high upon this new hill, you will scan the horizon for your next dream. And from that high hill you will be able to see that next dream.  And from that high hill you will begin putting those small steps together again.

Beyond the Headlights

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." ~E. L. Doctorow

Any journey in life can begin with planning, lots of planning. You can make plans over and over again "til the cows come home." Yet, once out on the road to your dreams, there will be unknowns that arise in the distance. There is only so much or so far that you can see down the road of your life.

Not knowing what lay beyond the gate or around the next curve doesn't keep you from continuing. The boldness in your heart keeps you moving forward toward the destination. With each successive minute, mile or accomplishment, your confidence grows in strength.

It is almost a certainty that circumstance will create obstacles along the way. As you crest one hill, you may find the valley below flooded. It may delay your progress but do you sit along the shore waiting for the water to subside? Or do you build a boat and continue?

You may never see all that lay before you, but do not let that uncertainty keep you from moving forward. As Doctorow said, "You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

Yes you can. "Live the Journey", which is your life. Keep moving, keep dreaming and achieve it.

Fast Forward

“Wouldn't it be nice if our lives were like VCRS, and we could "fast forward' through the crummy times?" ~Charles M. Schulz

There was a wonderful movie a few years back called Click that was described by IMDb as "a workaholic architect finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Complications arise when the remote starts to overrule his choices."

The reviews were a bit harsh about the film, but the underlying lesson was actually pretty good. I won't spoil the film for you but the idea of having a remote control with a fast forward (FF) button is probably intriguing to you. It is likely that each of us probably wish we could FF through various parts of our lives.

There were times for me when going through divorce, the deaths of a sister, mother and brother that I might have wanted to FF through at the time. Its a selfish thought for sure and in retrospect, I am glad that I couldn't push that button on my life.

For you it might be the same things or even events of lesser degree. Maybe an upcoming test at school, job interview or tax season. There are so many things we would probably grab the remote control and press FF if it were possible. But then look at what you would miss out on.

Through death and the events surrounding it, we learn about our faith and strength. In sitting with my mother before she died I spent seven wonderful days with family and hearing her stories. When my brother passed away, I had the opportunity to see what a fantastic life he had built for himself. Even in divorce I learned more about myself then I had ever known previously.

I wouldn't be so bold as to say the experiences were or are easy. Yet life isn't always easy. Things happen, circumstance occurs, life just gets in the way of those smooth sailing plans we make. Every experience is something to cherish and hold onto. Yes, even the heartbreaking ones.

A FF button for your life may seem like the quick and simple solution. But look at all you will have missed. Life flows much too quickly as it is. A quick paced river flowing from its beginnings in Gougane Barra to where it empties into the Cork Harbor is your life. The vast eternity of the Atlantic Ocean awaits its end. Yet we need to enjoy every part of the river's journey.

Put down the remote control and leave that FF button unused. Enjoy the ups and downs and even boring parts of your life. The journey is your life. Live each and every part of it.

Don't Hold On, Get Moving

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." ~Carl Sagan

I am currently away this week but will return next Monday. So please hold if you wish, but I would recommend getting on with something great for your life.

I'll be back soon to encourage you along the way. So get moving, keep moving and have a great week as well.

Greatness Today

"Let the day commence and let greatness be your outcome." ~Joseph Primm

With each sunrise, the new day hands you another opportunity to do something great with your life. The ability to reach out and achieve is real and possible.

Most days we start with the thought that the same and old boring day is about to begin. We take our energy and direct it towards the "what is" instead of towards "what can be." Doing so leaves us with no energy, no motivation to grab greatness.

If you rise each day and decide that this day will be a great day, it will be. If you rise and are determined to change the things you don't like your life, you will. It all starts with changing your mindset, it starts with believing in what your heart tells you.

Believe in greatness for your life and greatness will be yours to have.

Tunnel Shines Bright

"We know that so many of the conditions and diseases that we associate with ageing can often be prevented or in fact their onset delayed if we just took preventative steps earlier in our lives." ~Julie Bishop

Pretty good day if I may say so myself. Yesterday wasn't all that pleasant but I knew today would have a good outcome. I believed it would be a good outcome and it was.

You see yesterday I started drinking liquids and consumed a drink called Moviprep. Its a drink that has this certain Je ne sais quoi. How can I describe the 64 ounces of liquid that has a pretty powerful effect upon cleansing ones body.

So yes, if you haven't figured it out yet, I was preparing for a colonoscopy today. Don't worry, I was not diagnosed with colon cancer or anything else symptomatic to require one.

The only thing I did was to reach the magical age of fifty. And it is this age at which it becomes prudent to start checking out the various bodily functions. With that number of years, each of us need to check and ensure things are still in good working order. If not, then we try to catch the problems early on so that they can be treated and help give us a better chance at fifty more years.

The interesting thing is that I was very comfortable getting it done. I could do without the prep drink, but the procedure was not of concern to me. Sure, what would be found or not found lay in the back of my mind. But I knew very well that whatever the outcome, I'd keep moving forward with my life.

Many people fail to go get simple medical checkups or even these types of preventative procedures done. They are afraid of what might be found. They are scared of the possibility that life will be forever changed.

Well guess what, find it out now or find it out later, life is going to change either way. I kind of like the odds of finding out early and having a chance of doing something about it before its found out late. Which means it may be too late to do anything then.

So yes, the light shined through the tunnel and all was clear. I awoke and didn't make too big of a scene coming out of sedation. Its not to say I didn't, but then...no one's talking.

Get your medical checkups when you can. Get these types of procedures done when you can. Keep your life in tune and running sharp. A big and grand life awaits you.