Be the Difference

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." -William James

My message to you today is what William James says so succinctly. You do make a difference. You can get up, go out into the world and change people's lives for the better. There is no one stopping you from doing this. It starts with you making the decision that all possibility exists. You then start movement in your world to do it.

Very few people have that one huge idea that comes to life and immediately impacts huge numbers of people. What happens is that it starts small, like a seed beginning to germinate. A rose bush can be grown from seed, but it takes time. It takes roughly two years for a rose seed to germinate into a seedling that can be replanted for growth. It takes time to nurture and grow what will be a great thing.

For you, it means starting with the simple gestures of kindness to those you come in contact with. It means being a better person to your family, your friends and to those you do not even know. This develops your character such that it becomes a natural thing that you do. It becomes a part of your everyday behavior.

Your idea starts small, you begin serving meals at the homeless shelter and over time it grows into a community outreach that impacts thousands of lives. Your small thought starts by teaching computer skills to single Moms or single Dads. Teaching them skills that will better their lives and give them the ability to succeed. This idea grows into an organization backed by large corporations wanting to help you change lives.

It starts by writing a blog that inspires people to do great things in life. As you notice, it all begins with one and multiplies to many. Your impact may seem small, but it becomes huge over time.

Be a person of impact, whether it be on one person or a million. You can make all the difference.

Walk a Mile

Walk A Mile Photograph -Nada Frazier

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” -Jack Handey

There I was, driving to the funeral home, thinking about the passing of a friend. Road construction was blocking my right lane, so dutifully set my left turn signal on and began to move into the left lane. Yes, I thought I looked well enough but apparently it startled the gentleman and his wife.

I stopped as did the traffic due to the red light in front of us. Me partially in his lane and he pulled up along my side wildly yelling something at me. So I rolled down my window, as did he, to offer him an apology. Thus began a 60-second lecture on my driving habits, nearly killing his wife, and never taking the time to hear my apology.

His window went back up, the light turned green and traffic began to move again. As Murphy's Law dictates, I followed him for the next mile or so. It did not give me much of a chance to calm my nerves. But after he pulled into a shopping center, I began to think of my friend recently deceased and let the incident roll off my back like water from a duck.

Later that evening during a memorial service I reflected upon the incident among other things. I learned that one thing my departed friend would say is, "don't react, just respond." It seemed appropriate because unknowingly that is what I had tried to do; respond to the situation while the 'offended driver' reacted to the situation.

It reminds me that if we simply stop to consider the journey someone else might be on before 'reacting' maybe we will respond differently to the situation. In my life I have failed to do just that and later realized there was something else, another story to be told.

This particular incident does not excuse me from my poor driving decision. We each get distracted by life, our job, our relationships, our finances, our health and our smart phones. There are reasons for our behaviors and until we consider there might be other reasons, we are reacting in the dark. When we acknowledge the possibility of someone else, we can respond in the light.

It doesn't take literally 'walking a mile in someones shoes' to fully understand the impact of simply responding as opposed to reacting. But you will begin to live a more relaxed and happier life when you take others into consideration.

As for the upset driver, apologies for my abrupt driving as I was distracted. I also apologize because you may have been stressed over going to the mall. A presumption on my part but hey, its possible.

Jim O'Connor

"Character is like the foundation of a house - it is below the surface." -Unknown

A man that I know, Jim O'Connor, died a few days ago. An unexpected passing and a sad one at that. Most deaths are sad, which goes unsaid. The emotional toll it takes on loved ones is measurable only to them. But we each know the price of sadness exacted when someone leaves our arms.

I would not be bold enough to call Jim O'Connor a close friend. There are many others that have this true designation. But Jim made me feel that I was a close friend every time we talked. He had that way of letting you know that 'you' mattered in his life.

Each time we stopped to chat, he always quipped about each of our visits to Ireland. We each have ancestry and ties of imagination back to the 'Land of Eire' and the lush green fields. Jim's eyes would light up about his trip and it seemed to push any cares of his day away.

The Jim O'Connor that I got to know was a foundation builder. A man that literally built the foundations of a new church back in 1996. A man that can be felt in the foundations of not only the physical house our church meets in, but also in the warm kindness he spread.

Many people, his family, his church, his business friends and his community feel that foundation shaking today. A man named Charles West said, “We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.” But knowing those foundations, those memories, they will hold firm for Jim built them strong and to last forever.

To Jim's wife Kelly and his loving family, I offer an Irish prayer.

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

And to my friend Jim O'Connor, "May you be flying over that which you love, taking in all that is good of your life. May the wind carry you to a loving God's arms and all your eternity be near the warm hearth of heaven."

Being Judged

“It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality.” -Arnold Bennett

We do it nearly everyday. We either say it out loud or mumble it under our breath. We judge people by the way they look, talk or act. This judgement of others extends to the way they perform, where they live and even the way they believe. Judgement of others is our belief that the other person doesn't live up to our expectations.

There is such a thing as discernment, which means perceiving the way things are, period, no more, no less. Judgment on the other hand is something we add to discernment by making a comparison between how things or people are and how we believe they should be. With judgment there is an element of dissatisfaction. We are dissatisfied with the way things are and have a desire for things to be the way we want them to be.

What judgement does is reflect upon you. It mirrors only what and who you are, both good and bad. Speaking of mirrors, maybe we should look in that reflective way to see how others are judging us. In neither instance does judgement lift both people. Judgement tends to bring both people down and that isn't what you want in life.

Our judgement of others is superficial and does nothing to learn the real story. It could be a medical condition causing weight gain, or maybe finances means it is the only suit and tie that other person has. Judging does nothing to ease their suffering and it certainly doesn't ease yours.

We each have a story that is deeper than the surface. Judgement blocks our ability to know what that story is. What you want, what you need, in life is to lift others and be lifted yourself.

Try to take the rest of your day and try not to judge other people. For just one day see what a difference it can make. Get beyond judging others and get to know them. You may find your life expanding in ways that judgement would have kept you from. Be a greater person, have a greater life.

Life Filled With Love

"Do all things with love." -Og Mandino

If you review many different sources and take an average amongst all of them, the life expectancy of a person living in the world today is 67.2 years. It works out to be 65.0 years for males and 69.5 years for females when you look at statistics for the years 2005–2010. And in all cases, with the exception of Zimbabwe, Lesotho, Swaziland and Afghanistan; women on average live longer than men in all countries. an interesting topic for another time I suppose.

Of course you will find people living longer in some countries and shorter in others depending upon the socio-economic and other conditions present. In example, Japanese have the highest life expectancy of 82.6 years of age, calculated during the years noted above. While estimates for 2011 show that 31.88 years of age is the average life one will likely live if born in Swaziland.

The United States comes in at 36th place with an average life span of 78.3 years of age. All very interesting and numbers that do exist on actuarial tables. We can boil down life to numbers on a chart for insurance purposes and population planning and for many other staid purposes.

What these charts and lists will not tell you is how well you feel about the life you live. They can not dictate the happiness you feel. They can not predict the amount of happiness you spread through out those years. Only you can determine the kind of happiness, cheerfulness and love that will fill those years. It is a choice you make.

Yes, the chore of living can be filled with stress, work and struggling to achieve. But it can also be filled with love and happiness. You get to create a little piece of heaven right here on earth.

The Road Not Taken

"We are never prepared for what we expect." ~James A. Michener

Robert Frost wrote a poem that is sometimes mistakenly called "The Road Less Traveled." It is a well-known poem and one that will make you give pause to think about decisions made in life.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergroth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference


There are generally two interpretations of this poem. The popular one is where people take the last couple lines literally. They view them as being individualistic, not going with the crowd.

Myself, I prefer to take the poem as an ironic interpretation when reading those lines in the entire context of the poem. It seems to me that the poem is about making decisions in life, and rationalizing the decisions that we make, either with joy or pain.

We move through our lives planning and trying to figure out where our decisions will lead us. And even though we plan, we never seem to be fully prepared for where we end up. So whether we plan to take a road less traveled, the freeway or sit by the side of the road; are you ready to deal with the outcome of your decisions?

My advice is to continue with your plans, make your decisions and reach your destinations. But also be ready to accept the decisions you have made. It is equally important to achieving all that you want in life.

Getting Back Up

Jack and Jill by Jessie Willcox Smith

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The American songwriter/singer, Ben Harper said, “If I fall, I fall. I'll rise up like anybody else.” Each of us is going to have those times when life has knocked us down to the ground. The hill we were climbing causes us to slip and tumble back to the bottom. Think of the old children’s nursery rhyme, “Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.”

The rhyme says that Jack got up and ran home. But my version says, “Jack got up, and dusted off, determined to go on. Back up the hill, along with Jill, to catch the rising sun.” A way of saying, “keep pursuing your dreams.” The only thing that can keep you from pushing forward is YOU. When YOU fall, it is YOU that determines if YOU will get back up.

Your Own Understanding of who YOU are will make the decision of getting back up either easy or hard. By having a positive attitude, it is more likely that you will bounce back up and try again. If you are a negative person, chances are you will stay stretched out on the ground.

All of this isn’t to say that there no difficult challenges to face. I have been through some of those challenges. The process of getting back up and battling through those challenges is not an easy task. But overcoming the challenges was an even greater reward.

Your life will be greater and you will get to see the sunrise in the morning, (aka, your dreams fulfilled). So get up and start heading back up that hill. There is water to fetch, seeds to plant and dreams to harvest.

Infinitely Heroic

Infinitely Heroic

"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost." -Arthur Ashe

Would you lift a car to save another person? What if that car were on fire at the time? That is exactly what several people did in Salt Lake City recently when an unfortunate accident occurred. A car, a motorcycle, and the driver of the motorcycle injured and trapped beneath a burning car.

Bravery or heroism are words we apply to such people. As one of these fine people said, "That's a big title. I don't consider myself a hero. It's just our humanity ... Everyone is going to help." A very well-said comment in that as people, we simply help take care of each other. In these instances, you can not stand silent and not do something.

Each and every day we do things that are heroic in nature. The big ones are lifting a burning car off an injured man. Or racing up several flights of stairs in a burning building to save people. Maybe even putting your life on the line to protect a nation or a community.

There are also deeds done that make you a hero just in serving other people in small ways. We hold a door open for the person carrying groceries or giving a smile to the stressed out bank teller. A father playing with his kids, or a mother applying a bandaid to a skinned knee.

You have the opportunity each and every day to do something good for another. It is the big and little things we do, serving others, that creates a million heroes. You may not wear a skin-tight action hero outfit but what you do for others will make you look like you do.

And as the quote from one of the 'car lifters' said, "it's just our humanity." When we look out for each other, when we help each other, we in turn are looked after. Be a hero today, do something good and see your life, your best life, become even better.

Success From Failure

"Failure is an event, never a person." -William D. Brown

There are stories which run the full length of history about failure. Stories which tell us how failure is turned into success. Stories which remind us that failure is not a destination but a short term experience.

Everyone is familiar with 3M Post-It Notes. The basic story is of a man named Spencer Silver who worked in the 3M research laboratories. In the late 1960s, he was working on developing a strong adhesive to incorporate it to some of 3M’s current products. After some trial and error he developed an adhesive, but to his own disappointment, it was even weaker than what 3M already manufactured at the time. It stuck to things but could easily be lifted off.

He tried finding uses for it within 3M with little success. Then four years later, another 3M scientist named Arthur Fry was singing in his church’s choir. He used bookmarkers to keep his place in the hymnal but they kept falling out. Then he remembered Silver’s weak adhesive and he used it to coat his bookmarkers. Surprise! With the weak adhesive the bookmarkers stayed in place, yet lifted off without damaging the pages.

From failure, success is born.

• Henry Ford went broke five times before he finally succeeded.
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor and went bankrupt numerous times before he built Disneyland.
• Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and didn’t read until he was seven. A teacher described him as “mentally slow."
• The movie Star Wars was rejected by several movie studios before 20th-Century Fox decided to produce what is one of the largest grossing movies in film history.
• After Fred Astaire's first screen test, a memo from the testing director at MGM in 1933 said, “Can’t act! Slightly bald! Can dance a little!” Fred Astaire kept that memo over the fireplace in his home.
• Babe Ruth, considered one of the greatest athlete of all time and famous for setting the home run record, also holds the record for strikeouts.
• Margaret Mitchell's classic Gone with the Wind was turned down by more than twenty-five publishers.
• In 1954, the manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after one performance. He told Presley, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere… son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”
• Dr. Seuss ' first children's book, And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street, was rejected by twenty-seven publishers. The twenty-eighth publisher, Vanguard press, sold six million copies of the book.

Failure occurs a million times a day. What matters is the million times people got back up and tried again.

You have the ability to move on and try again and again. Only you can keep you from doing so. You will learn from the failure and you will succeed. So get up from the failure, get past the failure, learn from the failure and achieve something greater.

Don't Worry

Guido Reni "Worry"

"Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy." -Leo Buscaglia

It is something we do quite often, which is to worry. The word itself means "mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated, such as anxiety." It comes from the Middle English worien, or to strangle or constrict. worry can actually choke the joy out of living. It can constrict your ability to move forward.

In an article by Sean Sabourin, he reveals that "the original Greek word for worry literally means to have a divided mind, or to divide into parts." And he notes that it means;

- Worry consumes
- Worry steals
- Worry captivates
- Worry controls
- Worry destroys
- Worry kills

Worry splits our life into many parts and each of those small pieces can tear at our life from many angles. They are destructive and only serve to hold you back from achieving your best life.

You have heard it said, "don't worry, be happy" many times before. I know that worry is a natural part of our human existence. But we can not let it consume and destroy our life. You have the power over worry. You have the ability to rationalize and turn worry into something positive.

When you take worry and put it in context of the bigger picture, everything will work out alright. Whatever happens will happen. You can prepare, you can accept, and you can move beyond the worries of tomorrow. Don't let it take the joy and happiness from your life today.

September 11, 2001

"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them." -George Eliot

Early on the morning of September 11, 2001, 19 hijackers took control of four commercial airliners en route to San Francisco and Los Angeles after takeoff from Boston, Newark, and Washington, D.C. At 8:46 a.m., five hijackers crashed American Airlines Flight 11 into the World Trade Center's North Tower (1 WTC) and at 9:03 a.m. another five hijackers crashed United Airlines Flight 175 into the South Tower (2 WTC).

Five hijackers flew American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon at 9:37 a.m. A fourth flight, under the control of four hijackers, crashed United Airlines Flight 93 near Shanksville, Pennsylvania at 10:03 a.m. after the passengers fought the hijackers. Flight 93's ultimate target is believed to have been either the Capitol or the White House.

My purpose is not to talk of the politics, religious meanings behind the attacks. My purpose is to simply remember the 2,977 people that died.

We each hold onto the memory of those that have gone before us. Marcus Cicero said, "The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." Each of us hold the lives of our family and friends in our memory. Those lives speak through our own mouths, through our own words, they live on.

As we take a moment to reflect on Sunday, September 11, 2011, take those moments to reflect on the people. Let their lives speak volumes with the the memories you share. Let them live on in the words we speak.

An Adventure

"It is like a voyage of discovery into unknown lands, seeking not for new territory but for new knowledge. It should appeal to those with a good sense of adventure." -Frederick Sanger

Today marks a new day of adventure for two of my boys. It actually marks a new adventure for all of us if I think about it. Early this morning the two left on a trip that will take them thousands of miles. A trip that will take them further down the road in their lives. It will change the landscape for many.

One son is a five year Army veteran transferring to a new unit out west. The other son is a graduate moving out west to work on his Master's degree. Both are moving on with their lives, changing the current in favor of reaching new potential.

I watched them pull away and the red glare of the tail lights hid them from my view. I knew they were there although I could not see them. My sadness in seeing them leave becomes overshadowed by my excitement for them.

When we embark on anything new, it is an adventure. It is a journey that we may have planned but will be filled with the unknown. The possibility of greatness lay in the unknown; it lay in the adventure of it all. It is life giving you the green light to move forward. Only you can keep you from change.

There will be ups and downs in any journey you take. The mountains may seem imposing and the skys too dark. Just remember that a lush, green valley lay beyond the mountain top and a bright blue sky shines behind those clouds.

The journey of life is an adventure and we need to enjoy every part of it. Have fun boys, have an adventure, and let life be full of possibility for you and for everyone.

Knowledge from a Bird Feeder

"Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge." -Khalil Gibran

Knowledge is defined as "information and skills acquired through experience or education; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject." But why do we seek knowledge? The answer to that is rather complex and many people devote their lives to resolving it.

In philosophy, the study of knowledge is called epistemology. An entire field of study into why and how we seek knowledge. In psychology, they concentrate on how different levels of knowledge effect your well-being. Both of these fields of study will take you off into many different areas of study.

In my view of knowledge, the procurement of knowledge comes down to two basic things; survival and advancement. One can debate that there are many more facets to knowledge. That I would not dispute, but simply put we acquire knowledge for these two main reasons.

To survive, we need to learn how to obtain the four basic necessities in life which are; air, water, food, and shelter. Some lists add clothing as a necessity, although I include it within shelter. How we obtain these items for survival is by knowledge. You may wonder why we need knowledge to obtain air; it is always there. Our bodies through biological and learned means come to realize breathing is essential. We learn that we can not dive into the water and survive for very long without air.

We learn that if we sit near a camp fire, any smoke that blows into our face will make breathing difficult. We learn to move away from that smoke. The same knowledge is needed for the other survival necessities in life. Water to hydrate us and keep us healthy, food to nourish and strenghten our bodies, shelter to keep us dry or warm and protected. Each of these are acquired knowledge and could be 'just enough' in life.

There comes a point when we need to advance forward in our life. This will happen if we use up those resources necessary to survive. This will happen if our family grows and we need a larger shelter or more resources. We have to acquire knowledge to advance our lives. Without knowledge, we will become stagnant and fade away. Life requires knowledge.

Knowledge will push you forward to greater things in life. If you are perplexed by the inability to get ahead in life, pick up a book, research the internet, take a class. Do things that will increase what you know. Make yourself smarter about all that is around you. Knowledge will take you further than repetitively pounding two rocks together.

The perplexity of life that we each encounter is solvable. If you watch a squirrel figure out a 'squirrel-proof' bird feeder, then you will understand what I am talking about. As the squirrel trys new things, it is learning what does and does not work. The knowledge obtained eventually allows the squirrel to overcome that which is hindering its survival.

You have the ability to overcome so much in life by simply increasing your knowledge. Having this knowledge will provide you with your best life. Having this knowledge will be your best life. Gain more in your life.

You Can Change

"Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation." -Alan Cohen

How many times have you been moved to change by an event? It may have been an event that tore down into your comfort zone. An event that turned your view of life upside down and altered much of what you knew.

These events may have been small or large, hurtful or only irritating and maybe un-planned. At the time of these events we give them huge weight in our life. We lift and carry them like boulders, struggling to proceed with anything meaningful. We give these events power over our lives.

But from every burden in our life, we have a choice to make. We can continue to allow the event to control our being. Or we can choose to turn the event into a positive change. We have the ability to overcome and transform our life into something greater.

Throw down the boulders you might be carrying. Throw down the negative and choose to move beyond its control. Choose to live your life.

Labor Day

"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend." -Doug Larson

It would be a close second to the day after Thanksgiving, which is why many prefer not being out in it. To see the constant stream of traffic, bumper-to-bumper with lots of frustration. It can make you wonder why anyone would enjoy placing themselves in that condition.

But then I begin to understand that placing yourself among others is a way of placing yourself in the path of opportunity. Opportunity to meet new people. Opportunity to find new ideas. Opportunity to set an example of goodness in front of others.

The crowded streets and packed stores can be both frustrating and exhilarating. All you have to do is set yourself in a proper mind set. To be prepared for the inevitable slow traffic, the long lines and the frantic pace of it all. But also be prepared for meeting new people, of spreading a little smile here and there.

The possibilities that exist when you place yourself in the middle of it are endless. A new friend, a new partner, a new business associate, or a new direction are out there waiting for you. People changing your life. You changing people's lives. Together all of us changing life.

Enjoy your Labor Day holiday here in the United States. Enjoy the crowds. Enjoy your life.

And The Beat Goes On

It Goes On by Kimberly Dickinson

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost

Lots of things are going on all around and to us each and every day. The car won't start, traffic is backed up, our child has a fever, and the economy remains depressing. We wonder if any of it will ever end. Will the madness stop chasing us each and every day?

It can wear you down if you let it. There are those that let it get to them and they decide the battle is not worth it. And do you know what happens when you give up?

Life goes on.

So you need to keep moving, keep struggling forward, keeping in time to the rhythm of life. And the beat goes on....the beat goes on.

 

Coffee Cup Idea

"Everyone who's ever taken a shower has an idea. It's the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference." -Nolan Bushnell

In the 1996 movie called Michael, there is a line in the script in which one of the characters reveals, "I invented the hole in the coffee cup. When you get coffee to go. I was the first person to rip the little hole in the lid, so you could drink it in the car. Could've made a fortune. It's weird."

How many times have you thought of something and never acted upon it? Later you find out that someone else had the same or similar idea, but they actually did something about it. Sort of irritates you doesn't it?

Every day we probably think of one or two things we would like to do. We then get home, go to bed and forget all about it. The idea is gone, lost forever until one day you see that somebody else had the revelation to actually act upon it.

When you get an idea, write it down in a journal. Then take some time to contemplate it, to digest and evaluate the idea to see if it has value in your life. If it does not, write down why and then leave it alone.

But if you find that it does have value in your life. If you realize that it is something you would like to do, then do it. Write down why it is something of value in your life, then start 'doing' things to achieve it. This may mean writing down the next steps, learning more or just getting up and moving.

Some would call it procrastination that holds us back. Others may call it lack of confidence. But to me it is simply 'you' that keeps 'you' from acting upon an idea. As I like to say, "BELIEVE in your vision, ACT upon that vision and only then will you REALIZE that vision."

Get up today and invent a better 'hole in the coffee cup' and amaze the world and yourself.

Immersed In The Clouds

"Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit evasions. Stop giving yourself needless trouble. It is time to really live; to fully inhabit the situation you happen to be in now." -Epictetus

Recently I was flying into Seattle on a business trip, coming in over the Cascade Mountain Range. In the morning light, their peaks brightly point to the blue sky while the dark shades of the forest line reveal the scattering darkness.

This particular morning clouds had filled the valleys and low areas between the undulating mountains. It was a thick covering that looked very much like a pillowy white blanket covering the landscape. Knowing we would be landing soon, I also knew that we would have to immerse ourselves into this blanket of white.

So with faith in the plane's technology, the skill of the pilot and a touch of excitement, down into the cloud we went. I had a vision in my mind of what awaited us. I believed that we would get through and safely onto the ground. But for a moment, we have to just reconcile ourselves to believe we are prepared for anything that happens.

The same can be said of most anything we attempt or involve ourselves in. We dream of great things in our life. We dream of doing much more but hesitate when we see a blanketing cloud of the unknown. We become afraid to immerse ourself into something if we can not see beyond it.

The future is not something we can see beyond the present. We can only envision it and then have the confidence to go forward. When we decide not to enter that cloud of the unknown, all we end up doing is circling round and round for a lifetime. All the while, what you want in life is just beyond the white fluffy cloud cover.

Choose to immerse yourself in the unknown. To achieve success, dreams or goals, you will have accept that things are not going to be worked out ahead of time. There will be moments of sheer terror, moments of disappointment and moments of failure. But there will also be the ability to learn, new opportunity and success.

Take yourself beyond where you stand today. Do not be afraid of the unknown. Soon you will find yourself on the ground standing right where you wanted to be, dreams fulfilled.

Up and Down

"I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks." ~William Shakespeare

My life may have its ups and downs, but when I'm reminded of all the beautiful people I have in my life, everything just evens out. Yesterday was my birthday and the huge out pouring of birthday wishes filled my day with joy. I am truly blessed in that manner.

I believe that if you take the time to think of all those in your life, you will find how blessed you are as well. Many times it may seem like we are battling life on our own, but likely there are others wanting to support and be there as well.

Life is not meant to be lived in isolation. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed with others. The connection you make with other people comes back to you ten-fold. Extending your hand in friendship, in kindness or simply being there will fill your life with wonderful things.

The roller-coaster life we live can be overwhelming and the ups and downs will always occur. But the ride is so much better when you ride it with family and friends.

Cry Havoc

"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial". -William Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Julius Caesar (Act 3, Scene 1)

In Libya a dictator has been chased out of power, and a country of people are now left with what to do in the vacuum of leadership. The excitement of new found freedom fills the air with celebratory gun fire. Libyans are standing on the edge of a perilous cliff. There is quite a bit to do in forming a government, in holding together the freedom they have fought for and in restoring normalcy to everyday life.

These scenes have and are being repeated all over the Middle East these days. They are the same scenes we saw in Eastern Europe after the fall of the Soviet Union. All of these are scenes repeated at various times going back through all of recorded history. We in the United States and western European countries watch and encourage the revolts.

What occurs to me is how we can become oblivious to it happening right here. That's right, revolt could happen here in our own country. Our form of government could suffer the same events middle eastern countries currently are experiencing.

We have harsh words being exchanged between the polar sides of ideology. We have false merchants of civility claiming restoration of our ideals. We have escalating debt, joblessness, greed, poverty, poor political stewardship; unrest exists within the general populace. We are not new to this if we look back upon history.

But once again, people are growing tired of the one-upmanship games being played with their lives. It is happening in western European countries and right here in the United States. All countries which look at others in revolt have to realize they too are susceptible to revolt. The peoples of our own nation have increasingly grown frustrated.

Do I compare our own government to that of a dictator? No, but I do draw a comparison between the two in that power tends to corrupt all individuals. Lord John Acton first said in 1887 that "power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men."

Lord Acton wrote this in the context of a crisis within Catholicism over the First Vatican Council's proclamation of the doctrine of papal infallibility. He said, "I cannot accept your canon that we are to judge Pope and King unlike other men, with a favorable presumption that they did not wrong. If there is any presumption it is the other way against holders of power, increasing as the power increases. Historic responsibility has to make up for the want of legal responsibility. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority: still more when you superadd the tendency or the certainty of corruption by authority. There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder of it."

Applied to modern governments, our U.S. President, Congress and even Supreme Court are not above infallibility. The people when confronted by ineptness and corruption will feel backed into a corner. And yes, the possibility that the people will "Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war" could also happen.

I am not proposing that we do so. I am warning that the consequences of how our politicians are acting could be similar to those of nations in turmoil. While politicians may believe they have a blind populace in tow; in fact the majority see behind the curtain.

I write motivational articles and this may seem like a strange topic to cover. My intent is to motivate people to engage constructively in what is happening. We need to turn down the rhetoric between ourselves as a people. We need to listen more to each other and find common ground. It is the fervor of loud disagreement which politicians want from us. It keeps us distracted from what they are really doing.

So while we watch and read the news reports of revolt in other countries, be mindful of our own. "Nations crumble from within when the citizenry asks of government those things which the citizenry might better provide for itself" is a quote from Ronald Reagan that I extend to my conservative friends. I understand and acknowledge that from my liberal side of the fence. While there are many things a government can and should provide, we have to be mindful of the power that corrupts those in control. They are mere mortals, fallible women and men susceptible to that power.

The pendulum of ideology may swing from one side to the other. But our success as a country, as a people, depends upon keeping it swinging back and forth. Our collective conversation will overcome the challenges. Our belief in one another will allow our country to overcome these challenges. Together we will find a way.

Move Today

Sara Forrest Photography

"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving." -Jerry Seinfeld

I have a pile of timbers sitting in my backyard. These are the treated eight foot long ones used for edging or building short retaining walls. The timbers have been sitting idle for nearly a year while I make a decision to actually do something with them. Yes I have a plan for them and it just requires me to begin the work.

What you will find is a neatly stacked pile that is up off the ground to protect them. It is a pile that seems to have been stacked for long term storage. What you will also see are the weeds and vines having grown up around and through the pile. There will be work to get the timbers ready for actual use.

It reminds me of lists we make for ourselves. Those pieces of scrap paper or neatly written journals that contain our dreams. The list sits nicely in the desk drawer where time, heat and humidity slowly age the piece of paper. One day you finally decide to act upon those dreams. You pull open the drawer only to find that the ink has faded.

Your dreams have faded on the paper. The paper itself has dried so badly that it crumbles in your hands. You try to piece together what the list contained, straining to make sense of it all. Our dreams that sit idle will tend to fade into distant memory.

Dreams will never be realized if not put into action. When you make movement towards your dreams, you put yourself closer to realizing them. Life is all about movement, life is about never sitting idle waiting for something to happen. Don't let your dreams crumble away with inaction.

What will it take to get you moving? Check out my vBlog Primms Attitude 08242011 up on YouTube. Don't wait for an earthquake to get you up and moving. Get up today and make movement in your life. Do it now, as if your life depended upon it.

Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr

The Martin Luther King Memorial. Credit: Charles Dharapak/AP



"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

On Sunday, August 28, 2011 a memorial will be dedicated in Washington, D.C. It is a memorial inspired from Rev. King's "I Have a Dream" speech, "Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope."

There is the inevitable controversy that surrounds any major project of which I'm not going to go back over. The memorial is here and it stands as a great reminder of what our great country has come through. And while we still struggle today with racial equality and understanding, a change occurred those many years ago.

I have to think Reverend King would be pleased that we continue to talk to each other. He would be glad to know that we keep constructing the path he started to lay for all of us. While his dream is not completely fulfilled, he opened that hole in the wall which divided us. It is through this opening that we continue the dialog. It is through this opening that we reach out to each other.

Our differences in race, religion and ideology will continue to try and tear us apart as humans. We must continue to fight any efforts to close the wall of difference and divide us again. We must continue to work at tearing down forever that wall for all peoples.

On August 28, 1963, standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. a dream was revealed. The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream which continues to inspire today. Dream our dreams, but we must act upon those dreams and one day all will realize those dreams.

Trying the New

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." -Albert Einstein

I'm excited to unveil my new vBlog (video blog), posted on YouTube and posted over on the right hand side of this web page. It is going to be a new thing for me and another step in my journey of motivating folks to go after and achieve a great life.

I debated on how to set up the videos, the production, the sound and all of those things that could have kept me from ever actually doing the video. So I just jumped in and you'll get to see the results as I learn. It really is something new and what the heck, life is full of mistakes that get turned into opportunity.

If you want to do something in life, get up and do it. Don't sweat the small details, get moving on it and figure it out along the way. You can spend all of your days wondering, planning and perfecting. In the end you never end up accomplishing what you wanted to do in the first place.

So enjoy my video attempts to inspire you, but more importantly become inspired. If not by me but by your own passion. Remember to believe in your dream, act upon that dream and one day you will realize that dream.

Beyond Cedar Bluffs

"I dwell in possibility.." -Emily Dickinson

Each of us have some thing that we grew up with, some thing that we allow to hold us back from achieving greatness. Some say it is the hard streets of the inner city. A place where people believe that possibility can not exist beyond two or three blocks away.

The same can be said for a young boy living the gravel roads of farm country. A place where you can see as far as the eye can see. But it can be a place where you think possibility only exists just beyond the next corn field.

We tend to limit ourselves this way, believing that we can never escape our circumstances. Many times there are people trying to hold us back. People telling us we are not good enough.

I am here to tell you that you can get beyond the streets of your city neighborhood. You can get beyond the gravel roads of Cedar Bluffs. Those roads lead to new places filled with opportunity. They lead to a place where you can have a greater life.

In my own story, I love going home to where I grew up. It helped make me the person I am today. It is also the place where I learned there was much more beyond its country roads and grain elevators.

Find your way beyond whatever is holding you back. Don't forget those streets and country roads. But know that those same roads lead you to great success for your life.

Fire Drill Practice

"A fire drill does not demand a fire" -Nancy Cartwright

Do you remember your days in school when you practiced evacuting a building in case of a fire. Those fire drills were always fun to have as it got us out of school work. We lined up and walked quickly without running to our designated safety area.

We performed these drills 'just in case' a fire eventually broke out and our lives truly depended upon getting out safely. Even back in the 1950s, the threat of nuclear war was pervasive. People practiced 'duck and cover' in order to save themselves from the nuclear fallout.



We practice constantly in the event that something bad will happen in our lives. Those things may never happen, but we are prepared because we take the time to prepare.

What if we took time to prepare for the good things that could happen in our life. Maybe we should practice how to handle the large amount of money we will earn. Maybe we should practice what it will be like having great relationships, great children and a great job.

What I am saying is that maybe we should practice being positive about life.

Build a Road, Not a Wall

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." -Johnny Cash

I was driving home from work the other day and came upon some construction workers. They were bricklayers piecing together an intricate stone wall. It was interesting to watch them and I had the time to do so. With road construction ahead and stopped traffic, I sat there watching.

As the bricklayers did their work, complaint was bubbling up inside of me with the annoyance of delay. It could have been quite easy to fall into the trap of getting upset about the situation. So I turned my focus to watching these men as they built their wall.

These bricklayers picked up each unique piece of stone and carefully laid it within the wall. Each piece was selected in order to fit and complete another section of the wall. It made me wonder if we sometimes build walls in our lives by using our complaints and disappointments.

In relationships, we take small little dissatisfaction with another and place it on our wall. Those small stones of objection, petty differences or disagreements add to the construction. Soon we find that we have built a wall between ourselves and the other person. It may seem like we are trying to build a majestic wall when in reality it will be a wall that confines us.

We may not even realize the wall has been built until such time that we can no longer see beyond it. At this point we may come to our senses and begin the process of tearing it down. But some of us will choose to cap the wall and finish the seperation, walling themselves off forever. It is a choice that will eventually have to be made.

Know that these walls do not build themselves. We are the ones that create and choose which stones to use. Maybe its time we choose to use those stones differently. Maybe instead of using them to build a wall, we choose to build a road on which we walk, leaving those stones behind us. Maybe we let the complaint go and lay a path to better relationships instead of walls.

I never had the opportunity to see how the completed wall looked. I am sure it was going to be a majestic wall. It would be a wall that would enclose all within.

For me, I had a road being built out ahead of me. A road that will lead me past those walls which would seek to confine my life. A road that enables me to leave all of those complaints and disappointments behind. A road built to carry my relationships, my dreams and my life to greater places.

Do not use your complaints, disagreements and disappointments as material for a wall. All that creates is confinement in your life. Take those stones and build a road to your future. Use them as stone pavers for the road you are constructing for your life.

Put up a sign in your life that says "Road Construction" and see where you can take your life; a far greater place for sure.

Chase Away the Darkness

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am the type of person that arrives at work very early in the morning. I arrive long before others begin to stir from their beds. Long before the rush of the day starts to invade the quiet morning hush.

It is normally a darkened sky depending upon the Moon's position. Some mornings it is black as ink while other times it is bathed in bluish tones of reflected moonlight. The Moon does what it can to chase away the thickness of night as it reflects the light of the Sun.

But as the Sun begins to rise, it stands as the light which chases all darkness out of the sky. The light moves into the recesses in which darkness attempts to hide. It fills our world with the ability to see what exists around us. It allows us to look beyond what darkness attempts to hide.

I sit and think about the lives of people I know. There are people struggling financially with jobs and bills piling up. Others with relationships either in want of one or suffering through one. We know of people that are dealing with medical issues which claw at their hopes and beliefs. So many people out there being pulled into darkness.

While it is not possible to fix and correct all that happens to people, we can provide a light. We can not necessarily be the brilliant sunlight that chases away the darkness. We can be the candle at the end of the hall, guiding them. We can be a source of light shining through and into the window of their hearts offering hope.

We can be the moonlight reflecting a greater source of light. Moonlight that provides temporary ability for them to find their way until the light of day returns. We can chase some of the darkness away. We can make a difference in the life of another person.

Life Happens

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." -Jim Rohn

I am like everyone else out there, working each day towards achieving my dreams. I work to plan and execute the steps that will take me closer to the realization of them. I sit back and evaluate what is working and what isn't working. And I try to stay focused and upbeat about every step along the way.

Then life happens to me. Circumstance and happenstance stroll by and get in the way of what I thought was a perfect plan. It could be any number of things and in all cases we want to find blame for our misfortune. All along, it is just life happening around us.

It isn't that anyone or any one thing is trying to get in our way. Life is not a well planned soap opera, with a script dictating your next downfall. Life is simply going on and crossed paths with you.

Think of how you cross paths with opportunity. Opportunity is not searching you out. You are out there in life, doing the things you do which places you in position to cross paths with opportunity. The same will happen with circumstance, it just happens.

What determines your outcome from circumstance is how you respond to it. If you choose to blame others and take on the burdensome rocks of complaint in your wagon, it will only slow you down. If you choose to become a "woe is me" kind of person, than all you are doing is carrying more stuff in your life that you really don't need.

Circumstance is going to happen and how you choose to respond will dictate the level of burden it causes in your life. Choose to rise above it and beyond it. Choose to carry on with the things that matter.

Adult Lesson

"If you do good things, good things will happen to you." -Ian McMillan

I'm not sure how much better I can say it. All you need to do is watch the video and learn an adult lesson from a young boy.

ABC News "Person of the Week" - Young Baseball Fan's Act of Generosity

Enjoy More

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one." -Dr. Seuss

The office area in which I work has a pretty open floor plan. Low cubicle walls grace our desks enabling interaction among people. It allows for easy communication and collaboration while building great connection between these same people.

At times, the conversations can get lively with a lot of jocularity. The laughing and general good nature relieves the stress of the work. I normally take the opportunity during these times to jump into the fun. I will pronounce that everyone should quit laughing...work is supposed to be serious. They will stop, realize its me and then gleefully continue.

The point to be taken is that everything we do should have some level of fun attached to it. The same holds true for school-work, our work-work, along with our non-work, and just about any type of work. Life is work and it should be interrupted with moments of fun.

There is enough stress and seriousness in life, so take some time to relax a bit with laughter. Enjoy everything you do just a little more. Enjoy your life a little more.

Feet First

"If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down." -Ray Bradbury

A man was spotlighted recently in the Atlanta area for simply doing what was on his heart. Twenty years ago, he and his wife had it in them to see a need. So they began adopting special-needs kids.

Today he raises six of these children ranging in age from 12 to 19. The illnesses of the children include nonverbal mental retardation, cerebral palsy and Down Syndrome.

In addition, there are three biological children whom are all adults at this point in time. But the sadness is that his wife Cheryl passed away on July 21, 2011 from a stroke. So battling a job loss of 18 months and the passing of his wife, Will Stark just keeps plugging along doing what is in his heart, feet first, no regrets.

Others heard of the story, the needs and a local radio talk-show host, Bert Weiss on Q100 (Atlanta). Listeners heard the story and nearly $200,000 in donations along with a donated handicapped-accessible van cam rolling in. The generosity was heart-filled as people jumped in, feet first.

There are so many examples from this one story that can teach us lessons. The story of two people simply taking on the responsibility where they saw a need. Perseverance despite the odds and difficulties of doing what is right. And other people, hearing of the story and not hesitating to take action. Those fine people not waiting for the government, the church or anyone else to act...they acted and made a difference.

There are many opportunities each day, week, month and year to become involved. We can each make a difference, we can each impact the lives of others and make lives greater. All it takes is jumping in, feet first.

Words Into Action

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

My fourth book has been accepted for publication. My hope is to have it available in time for Christmas. A lot of love is going into this book which should serve as a hint. My wife and I are also looking at starting an organization that you will hear more about in the coming months.

There are also plans to start putting my words to action. There might be some speaking engagements coming along soon. If you have the right venue, the right need and I have the right words, let me know by writing to josephprimm@bellsouth.net today.

Putting words into action can result in great things happening. When you put your words into action, movement begins all around you. Opportunity begins to intersect with your life. You start to impact the lives of other people and the ripple effect begins.

Stand Up To

Stand Up To Cancer

"Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare The truth thou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it everywhere: They only live who dare." -Voltaire

It was late in the afternoon of October 14, 2008 when my mother passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. The time was marked eerily by a previously stopped clock. It is a time that I will remember for its sadness but more for the memories she created for us.

About one month prior to her passing, Patrick Swayze appeared on the cancer research funding show called Stand Up To Cancer. He proudly stood and announced his own battle with Pancreatic Cancer. One year later he also passed away.

I could have waited until the anniversary of my mother's passing to bring this up, but when it is on my heart, that is the time to act. There are other people out there facing their own battle with cancer. Those people are your friends, your family, your children, your spouse and possibly you.

All of this means that now is the time to do something. Now is the time to act by contributing a few dollars to any number of organizations. Do your research of the organization you are giving dollars to. Find the right organization that fits for you. Your donation turns into research dollars that will help fight cancer of all types.

It also means standing up and doing something today. The same that is said about pursuing your dreams, you get up, you stand up today and begin moving towards it. Stand up today and make a difference.

Frustration Matters

"I was an accomplice in my own frustration." -Peter Shaffer

Oh boy, I was ready to bring the wrath of letters and phone calls down upon the computer company. A delay by their order processing department created a situation that I had never encountered before. It created a situation that would cost me extra money and time.

Would the company try to make amends in some fashion? Would they truly try to make it right? Alas that was not going to happen. The person I had on the line was in a different department and I would have to contact another department to discuss it.

The veins on my neck were likely bulging slightly and I would admit I most likely raised my voice a bit. The frustration was growing quickly. It seemed very much as if I were trying to get out of a building but every hallway was a deadend. You know what I am talking about, that feeling of lost control over the situation.

Even a motivational writer such as myself can get pulled into these moments. It is easy for anyone to fall into the trap of frustration. The outcome is pretty much determined by how you respond though.

I could feel myself growing angry and other might get emotional or desperate. It could have gotten down right ugly but I stepped back and started to breath. I took those minutes of being "on-hold" to calm myself down, to take back control of my own emotions. It was not the person on the other end of the phone but the situation we were both in. It was a stalemate and nothing good was going to come from an extended debate.

So I resolved my situation and found the peace inside that I was going to need to move on. Was the resolution of the issue satisfactory? No it wasn't but I evaluated just how much it was worth to my own sanity to let it become a huge deal in my life. In the end it wasn't worth the aggravation and energy. In the end I decided to just move on from it.

You have to make those decisions as well. Is it worth the fight, the anger, or the pain? I would say that it is not worth it. You have so much more to do in life and getting held up by the frustration that is bound to come along is not worth the time spent. That time is better spent getting to where you want to be in life.

Frustration is out there, somewhere, waiting for you to come along. How you deal with it is up to you. How you come out of it on the other side is up to you. It is better to just get past it and onto something greater. And that something greater is your life.