Educated Confidence

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship." -Aeschylus

It starts early in life, from the moment we are born. I am talking about the learning process. We learn new sounds while still in the womb, figuring out that voice is our mother or father. With the first light of birth, we connect the voices to the faces, processing every bit of information.

On it goes through pre-school, elementary, high-school and college. It doesn't even matter that you go through all of the formal education. Knowledge is a constant thing in our life. The more you learn, the more you understand the world around you. The more you learn, the more you will understand your place in it.

We can choose not to learn, we can choose ignorance and become mired in the mud of life. We can choose to learn more and lift ourselves to greater possibility. It is a choice we can make each and every day.

Choose to learn more each day. Choose to make your life greater.

Childish Examples

"We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching." -Roy L. Smith

Recently I was talking to my wife about the parenting program she runs. It is a small endeavor at this point, but it is impacting families one at a time. Her program is to help families struggling to use the right skills for communication and dealing with all those things that happen as parents.

I was listening to her passion for what it does for these families. To see things get turned around when someone learns new skills is wonderful. These parenting classes make a difference and probably would have served me well when I was a very young father.

One of the things she teaches upon is how children learn by example. Sitting here writing about it seems like a 'no-brainer' bit of knowledge. But we have seen so many times how a child will mimic a parent.

If a parent walks around with a cell phone chatting away, you will find a young daughter or son play-acting the same way. Now take that parent gossiping, complaining, or talking badly on the phone; the child learns the same by watching.

If a parent is driving down the rode with children in the back, a driver cuts them off in traffic. Without thinking, a parent will raise a finger and shout a curse or few chosen words. A child in the back sees and processes this information.

If a parent, if a parent, if a parent; the examples can go on and on. We all learn many times by example. But none as much as a child. You, the parent, are their hero, their guidance, their link to knowing all that exists. Sounds like a pretty heavy responsibility doesn't it? It is and you must treat it as such.

The childish examples we portray from time to time are in fact, pretty childish. You may think your children sit quietly (or not) in the back ground ignoring you. What you must realize is that they are actually being pretty attentive to your every action and word.

If a parent wants to give their child or children a great gift, then give them great examples to see. Leave behind childish examples and give them wonderful examples to live by. Give them examples of love. Give them examples of healthy living. Give them your best.

Music Changes

SMELLY DOG MUSIC

"Music can change the world because it can change people." -Bono

How big is music in your life? Do you tap your toes to the beat of some favorite band? Is there a tune playing in your mind at the present time? Are the songs you hear saying something to you?

I am sure we have all experienced at one time or another the power music had on us. A song that moved you to tears or lifted you in joyful praise of life. The variations that exist are as diverse as there are humans. In fact music can come from nature itself.

The rustling of tree leaves, a babbling brook or playful chirping of a bird. There is a cadence to most everything that goes on around us. Music exists in most every part of life; that is if we listen for it.

Music can also move us to do something great, it can move us to love, it can move us to do far greater things in our life. The sweet sound that tells us we can do more. The melodic rhythm that carrys us to a far better life.

Let the music change you. Let the music carry you to greatness. Listen to the music and see how it can change your life. Then take your song and go change the world. Make it a better place with the sounds you make, with the toe tapping greatness of your own life.

Daily Men

"Nothing just happens for you as a husband and a dad; You have to work at it. Live on purpose." -Paul Louis Cole

There was a time in my life when I had it all figured out. I was young, in college, and making great strides personally and educationally. The farm where I grew up was beginning to recede from my life. It was a wide open plain where my dreams and plans were going to unfold in succession.

I met someone, we had a child and those plans began to divert in another direction. But there was no one, parents, friends or family that I would let interfere. For I had it all planned out, a new child, a marriage and need for work would not stand in the way of my plans.

I knew that all I had to do was keep moving forward with my plans. The marriage, the child, the work would all fall in lock step behind me. For my plans were mine and nothing could change that indisputable fact. Being a husband and father would simply happen.

I struggled to keep my plans out in front of the real purpose. Again, I fought to keep my plans out in front what the real purpose was. I denied that my plans were not the real purpose.

Much like the plate spinner one might see on the Ed Sullivan Show from so many years ago, it was a wondrous sight to see all of those plates spinning. If you watched closely, the artist would be running wildly from one end to other.

Some plates would begin to wobble if he paid too much attention to only one or two plates. I paid too much attention to one or two plates, my plans and my job. As you can imagine the other plates began to lack attention and fell, crashing into broken pieces upon the floor. As you try to catch the plates before they fall, your plans will also tip and nothing survives at that point.

We are left then with broken pieces of plates upon the floor. Some may believe it is useless to try. As men, we may try to walk away and leave others to clean up the mess. But as a man, you have purpose in your life and that is to pick up the pieces that matter. You take those pieces and put them back together again.

What you will find in picking up the pieces, the ones that matter, the real purpose is what you have put back together. You will be a better husband and a better father. What you will be is a better man.

TGIF

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." -Marianne Williamson

Today is Friday, the last day of what is normally the work week. I know there are many that have other schedules and rotating days, but traditionally Friday is the end of the work week. The thoughts are beginning to boil up towards a cheer of T.G.I.F.

Everyone is laser focused on the weekend. Not surprisingly Friday was found to be the least productive. Tuesday came in as the most productive work day according to an old survey by Menlo Park-based Accountemps. Then again, someone got paid to conduct a survey to verify what all of us pretty much knew already.

What interests me is the focus we can attain if it is something we really want. Think about it, unlikely is your focus on hoping Monday comes quickly so that you can get back to work. Your focus is on enjoying your family, friends and relaxing through the weekend.

Also think back to when you first fell in love. You had a huge focus on the person of your desires. That lovely person that has such a wonderful smile who lights up the room when they enter. You had such a clear focus on what you wanted in life.

Then life steps in and clouds your vision, makes changes that distract you from all that is important. So we fall into the "9 to 5" mentality and shorten or focus to only Friday and the weekend.

What if we were able to refocus on longer term goals? What if we used that focus to pursue our dreams, our goals and visions? You know it exists out there just beyond the coming weekend.

All you need to do is direct your focus on what is important for your life. Share your focus with others and together we can turn T.G.I.F from "Thank God its Friday" into "Thank God I'm Focusing."

The Worry List

"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?" -Shantideva

Each of us have a list of worries that kept neatly packed away in our mind. The list can tend to be so long that it overshadows our dream list.

We take a cursory look at the dream list but spend countless hours going over and over the worry list. We spend more time concerned with that list then we do actually trying to solve them. If we were to take an honest look, many are not worries at all.

What we would find is that the list is full of excuses. They are stones building up in our mind's wagon. We pull this around allowing it to cause pain and struggle. The weight of it all simply burdens us as we pursue our dreams.

Think of how much faster, how much easier, how much more successful we would be in reaching our dreams without the worry. If we let it go, tore up the list, emptied the wagon of stones; the journey would be so much easier.

At the very least, we would have more focus directed on dreams then on worries. And that is the lesson to be learned. Do not spend all of your time in worry. Spend that time focused on your dreams.

Are You Not Entertained

"Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?" -The Gladiator

As I write this, the television news and newspaper headlines are filled with the not-guilty verdict in the trial of a girl named Casey Anthony. It sent out a cry of injustice by people of all walks of life. Even celebrities pronounced shock and disbelief; I report this as the media did, which of course sells more newspapers.

All through the trial people hung on every word and confession. They debated and judged every lie, every truth and every heartbreaking moment. We analyzed each piece of 'public' evidence we were allowed to see or hear. The Jurors themselves lived much closer to the evidence, saw more of it, and had the responsibility to act upon it.

And then the Jury spoke, unconvinced that all reasonable doubt had been erased. I won't go into the definition of "reasonable doubt" as its origins are also founded differently according to some as it is applied today. In fact I'm not even here to debate the outcome of Ms. Anthony's guilt or innocence.

I have long believed the justice system our society has chosen is a good one and for the most part pretty fair. Any justice system is one of judgement based upon the local social mores and rules in place. Based upon some of the reactions of people, it is likely in another place and time, this young lady would have been hung without trial by the mob in place.

Yet beyond all of that, were you not entertained? Is that not why you came to watch and listen to the trial? As the crowd rises in a wave around the stadium, did you not participate each time the excitement came around?

We may blame the media, the lawyers or the jurors as we sit in our living rooms judging the outcome. But are we not entertained? We each allow ourselves to become wrapped up in the judgement of others while we fail to judge ourselves. It is much more entertaining to judge others then us. It is much more entertaining to point outward instead of looking inward.

Even this article is judgement of others. I stand accused of doing it as well. The story of Caylee Anthony, yes the name of the young girl who died touched the hearts of many people. And yes, she is why so many people took a huge interest in this trial. But don't be entertained by all of this. Learn from what we know is true and work to educate ourselves and others.

When we see a child in need, when we see a parent, a mother, a father or ourself not caring, work to change people. Do something to make a difference in the lives of others. Help empower others with knowledge and skills to be better parents, to be better people. Be a better person yourself.

Peachtree Roadrace Finish

"Finishing races is important, but racing is more important." -Dale Earnhardt

It was a particularly warm and muggy day to be running in the 42nd running of the Peachtree 10K Roadrace. This race is held each July 4th and is an Atlanta tradition. With over 60,000 runners, the heat pushed the tempo down for the regular runners but the elite runners always finish in fast style.

What I like about the roadrace each year is the excitement leading up to the start. You work your way into your starting section and wait patiently for the staggered start. You meet new people, you see people from previous runs and you see the mass of people out there in front of you. You also know that a mass of people are behind you as well.

This running race reminds me alot about life and the paths we choose to take. One could argue that the 6.2 miles of asphalt in front of us is the journey we are travelling. The START line is where we choose to begin, filled with excitement and expectation. Everyone around you are encouraging, all knowing that the FINISH line is at the end of the course.

We begin and things go very smoothly as this course starts on a short slope downward. The elevation then deceives you. After the first block you begin a slow uphill run for the first mile. It can quickly take the 'fun' out of the journey. The first water stop refreshes you and you catch a breath.

For the next two miles its a long descending stretch and things are going pretty well. Life is pretty good and you're feeling that the FINISH is going to come quicker then first anticipated. Yet life has a way of jumping in the way. The next one-half mile is called Cardiac Hill, a rise of one-hundred ten feet that takes its toll. Appropriately Piedmont Hospital lay at the top of this hill.

The remaining miles are what you would expect. Upward, downward, upward and again downward. The course toys with your mind and body; that is if you let it. I will definitely say that when you come down that gradual slope of 10th Street to the FINISH line, there is no greater view.

There are people lining the streets, cheering you on, encouraging you and helping you with shouts to pass under that sign. From START to FINISH, those people are there along the course of our lives. We may not always hear them. We may become so focused on the run and ignore the chants and cheers.

Yeah, I would pretty much say it isn't strictly the FINISH that matters in life. A goal achieved, a vision caught or a journey completed is a great and enduring thing to hold in one's hand. But the journey getting there is just as important.

Meeting a few of the 60,000 people along the way, seeing the costumes and hear the music matters. Waving to those ringing the cowbells or clapping in return for the encouragement matters. Stopping to shake the hands of those in wheelchairs come out to cheer you on, it matters.

To live the race, your journey is as important as the finishing. Don't miss any part of it even though the course may try to take it away from you. Know that the journey will be tough at times, but also know that there will be so much missed if you ignore what is along the side of the road.

From START to FINISH, there will be things not quite so enjoyable. But those moments will be great if you allow yourself to experience the great things along the way. Run the race of your life. Reach out towards the FINISH line. But enjoy the race as well.

July 4, 1776

"...Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

This Monday a holiday of importance in the United States will be filled with families, picnics, parades and fireworks. People will gather together, talk, drink, and eat hotdogs, hamburgers, chips and potato salad. They will go to the pool or lake, swimming in their local pool or sail their boats on the open water.

My wife and I along with 55,000 of our closest friends will run in the Atlanta Peachtree 10K Roadrace. An annual event that is filled with great athletes down to the casual walker. I try to enjoy the people watching, the people running and avoid the misery of the heat and humidity. I even take moments half way through to stop and shake hands with the Sheppard Center patients. Each year they line the sidewalks of Peachtree Street. I feel honored to shake their hands, to offer some encouragement and provide a smile.

Its a part of a great life we live, the ability to share a smile, to share a moment, or to give something of yourself. There were people back in 1776, people well before that and to this day that have given something for others. Each of us will have given large and small, life and limb, or words and hugs. In the end, we will have made life better for those around us.

As you celebrate this day, as you approach any day, know that you have the ability to impact the lives of other people. All it takes is a smile, a kind word or a thoughtful hug.

Sunrise Sunset

So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink,
until you've sobered up,
until you die,
until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...
-Author Unknown

As you stand watching the setting sun, you wonder what was accomplished. Did I take another step towards my goal? Did I choose to make life better for having been a better me? Did I waste an opportunity to accomplish so much more?

If you are standing there watching the setting sun, know that the sun is rising in the morning for someone else. The dawn of a new day filled with opportunity is presenting itself to that person. That person is contemplating all that he or she can accomplish.

As you stand in the dimming light of day, as the darkness begins to envelope your thoughts, know that the sun will rise for you again. Know that a new day will rise to meet your dreams. In the moment your dreams come into the new light, new opportunity will present itself to you.

Take yourself farther with each new day and reflect upon the setting sun as an accomplishment.

Runnin Down A Dream

"Sometimes you want to give up the guitar, you'll hate the guitar. But if you stick with it, you're gonna be rewarded." -Jimi Hendrix

Another birthday and another year gone by; my son is celebrating his today. Steve has taken on another year and taken on the challenges that all of us face. But his determination and talent will take him places that only his dreams understand at this time.

Steve has a musical talent with the guitar that he is a wonder to behold; a song in his heart and a voice to pleasure the ear. His talent is not noticed only by a father, but by many others. The tough part is following your talent when it can be frustrating and filled with the unknown.

So don't let things get in the way, keep your focus and reach out for those dreams. Whether it be in your 20s, 40s or 80s; time is never an obstacle. All you have to do is move towards the dream, the vision, the goal.

Happy Birthday son and reach for your guitar....reach for your dreams. Here is a little something different then the usual birthday song. Keep runnin' on your dreams and going wherever it leads.



It can happen, it all starts with believing in yourself, a bit of a crazy thought and keeping happy along the way. Love you. -Dad

Today

TODAY IS THE DAY

"Today, I'm leaving all my troubles behind." Today -By Joe Pringle

Today is the day you will do it. Yesterday it could have been done but it wasn't. So make today the day you let it all go. Let the pain and indecision leave you forever.

Today is the day you will unload the pain and worry you have carried all these years. You will become more then what you or others have let yourself be. There is nothing to hold you back and it starts today.

You are greater than the sum of all your worries and doubts. The only thing holding you back today is you. Let it go and get on with your life. And today is when it will happen.

Today is the day...

Today.

Street Sweeper

I am reminded from time to time of the words that Martin Luther King, Jr. said in 1956 during a speech in Montgomery, Alabama. It is these words that I use to remind you today of the greatness you can be regardless of where you are in life. No matter what you do in life. Or even in spite of your current condition in life.

"If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, like Shakespeare wrote poetry, like Beethoven composed music; sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper, who swept his job well."

Be the best at whatever it is you do.

Never Give In

"Never, never, never give in." -Winston Churchill

The above quotation is often mis-quoted as "...never, never give up." The quote came from a speech that Winston Churchill gave at his old school called Harrow School on October 29, 1941.

In the speech he said, "This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

England had been suffering through the German Blitz from September 1940 to May of 1941. The German military had tried to break the will of the British people and a massive amount of destruction and terror had rained down upon England. By October of 1941, the British were certainly weary but not defeated.

Winston Churchill gave his speech in the dawning light of survival from Germany's attempt to defeat that will the British people struggled to maintain. It didn't work and his speech was an affirmation to all that regardless of how tough things are, "never give in" to the destructive forces you are up against.

There is an old adage about not looking at the ground but up and forward. One could say that if the British looked down they saw rubble and destruction. But if they looked up all they could see was the smoke and falling bombs of German war planes. Neither was very inviting.

Yet I believe they saw through the smoldering flames. They saw the blue sky piercing the blackened air. At night, they searched and found twinkling stars peering back at them. They found solace in the beauty of the universe giving them hope and strength.

If your life is being pulled down into the dirt by forces unknown. If life is blackening your sky, remember you can push through by looking for and holding onto even the smallest bits of hope. A bright star in the night sky that catches your eye, a brilliant sunrise, or the smile from a stranger.

Even when it seems all might be lost, "never give in - never give up."

Does Opportunity Knock

"I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity." -Hazel Lee

Well it happened to me. An opportunity came along and I missed it. Strange as it seems since I write about this stuff all of the time. You may not consider it a big deal but I do. My missed opportunity was to wish my sister a happy birthday three days ago.

Opportunity doesn't always come along as a Microsoft Outlook calendar reminder. That distinctive alert sound that is supposed to wake you from your slumber and get back to work.

Opportunity rarely comes knocking on your door like a Western Union Telegram. Even Western Union doesn't do that anymore.

Sometimes opportunity comes in the form of a passing white cloud above. You stop to take in the beauty of it against a blue sky. Another person stops to see what you are admiring, a conversation ensues and connection takes place.

Other times you step beyond doing what everyone else does at work. You take a chance taking on what others will not. A career blossoms where others thought barren ground existed.

Sometimes we miss the initial opportunity as it stood and waved a big sign. We turn the corner after seeing it down a side street we never take. That itch comes up in the back of our head; a little voice saying, "hey, wait a minute." At this point we can continue driving or turn around and go another direction.

You see it means you have to be aware and looking for opportunity. It means placing yourself in a position to cross paths with opportunity. It means being engaged in the world around you.

We may never get another television show called "Opportunity Knocks", but we can call our sister and send a belated birthday card. So Happy Birthday Pam! And don't forget to send in your vote for the Zaporozhian Cossacks, the dancers; not the people from the 'land beyond the rapids.’

Simple

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do." -Mother Teresa

After a long and extensive research, Boeing has concluded its flight attendant call button on 737 airplanes was a bad design. They have now come out with a new location for the call button.

A simple yet very effective change to an age old design issue. Some may wonder why it took so long. A simple answer that can change so many things. But many will say that life is much too complicated for simple answers. The only way to solve our problems is through complex and intricate resolutions. It isn't easy to move a button to a new location, "it is hard." I hear it in my job, the words rolling out in many different forms. But the response is usually, "that is too hard."

I understand that there are complex issues in our life. But we tend to over-complicate, over-think, and over-worry. Sometimes the answer lay in the simple. You will probably call me naive but don't get me wrong. I fully understand there are things to worry about in life. We must be good stewards of our planet, our countries, and our neighborhoods with everything that entails.

What I'm referring to is the simplicity of a smile to break the cold. A simple handshake to break down barriers. The simple act of sitting down and talking with another person can move mountains.

There will be plenty of math problems, social issues, political disagreement and unsolved mysteries of the universe. Start with a simple smile, the simple connection of two or more, the simple belief in all that is possible.

SCREEN: ORIGINAL HORROR MOVIE!

"Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.' -Alfred Hitchcock

There is a film maker I know by the name of David P. Baker. He is one of those passionate guys when it comes to making movies. Which is pretty much like you or me when it comes to doing what we love in life. For him its about making great movies which gives him his greatest pleasure.

Currently he is a long way from his home in Scotland. He has joined forces in Tulsa, Oklahoma with another passionate movie maker named Oklahoma Ward. Together with Nicole Alonso, the three are on an ambitious project to film two movies and a documentary about the whole process.

The first movie (currently being filmed) is called CRAWL. This is Oklahoma's movie and will certainly make a lot of heads turn.

The second movie will begin shooting after the completion of CRAWL is called SCREEN. This is David's and has been...well a lot of years in the making. All I can say is that after seeing this film, chances are you might be too scared to ever go to a drive-in movie theatre again....if you can find one.

Now to the point of my article. David is making this movie on what some would call a 'micro-budget'. There is no major studio backing him, nor is there a rich executive producer funding the whims of this director. No, David is pushing forward with this film in such a manner that will make it easier for others to follow in his foot steps.

So now you are asking, "what is the sales pitch?" I have been backing David for a couple of years now. Mainly I do this because he is a pretty decent guy, talented and most importantly passionate about what he does. I like that and with a few limited bucks, I try to help him out. If it helps give him that little added boost to keep him moving, then its worth it.

You can do the same thing, with just a few bucks. We all know times are tough and money is tight. But David could use your help with some additional expenses he has in the filming of SCREEN. My pitch is $10, $20, $50 or even more if you can. The goal is $5000 and he is part way there with roughly nine days to go. Take a chance, donate a few bucks and be part of something that is pretty cool.

And as Hitchcock said (paraphrased), "send a little pleasure ($$) David's way, the same pleasure he'd get when waking up from a nightmare."

Click on the picture below and it will take you to his campaign site. There you can see a video from David explaining things, some additional information and a place to donate.

Follow your passions folks, those dreams and goals you have are achievable. Surprisingly you will find others that share your vision and want to be a part in making it a success. And thanks for your donation to David's vision!

Make a Decision

Volition by Michael Micali

Volition is defined as the act of making a choice or decision. Other sources describe it as "the cognitive process by which an individual decides on and commits to a particular course of action."

So what that means is we have the power to choose our own attitude, our own happiness, or even our own path in life. All it takes is making a decision to do just that. All it takes is overcoming our own self-doubt.

It is the making of a decision that we often struggle with. We worry either about the outcomes of a decision or about having enough information. Sometimes it comes down to trusting our own ability to accept the choices we have made. Other times we are simply scared to decide.

Whatever is preventing you from making those decisions, know that the power to decide still lay in your own hands.

Knowing that you have that power is a big part of moving forward. But if you need some added ideas, Kathryn Britton wrote a good article in Positive Psychology News Daily titled "On Making Choices". In summary, she offers six tips on improving your ability to make a decision.

1. Learn how to make good enough choices, rather than aim for best choices.
2. Make a choice and then focus on its benefits instead of peering down the road not taken.
3. Remember that the identifiable attributes of a decision may be negligible compared to the accidentals that one cannot predict.
4. Create personal heuristics for choices that do not warrant great effort, such as selecting items on a menu.
5. Group large numbers of options into categories so that you can rule out several at a time, rather than having to study the pros and cons of each individually.
6. After collecting the pros and cons of the remaining alternatives, give your intuitive mind a chance to work on decisions that involve integrating a large number of complex options.

The choice is yours to make. Start with small ones if you must but the key is to make a choice and move forward. There might be setbacks but you make a choice and you go with it. Of your own volition, you keep moving your life forward.

Truth or Lies

"A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future." -Author Unknown

The news has recently been filled with the scintillating news of a New York Congressman. The public appetite for this type of news has always intrigued me.

There are U.S. Military personnel risking their lives in foreign nations to help the oppressed and fight terrorism. We spend our day reading of someone who took some pictures and then lied about it.

There are Japanese people still without a home due to a nuclear plant disaster after a tsunami. But yet we spend our day debating the social aspects of what this man did and his resignation.

I guess it has to do with our attention span as human beings. The ever increasing ADHD nature of our lives. We flip from channel to channel and the last hour's news is old news. But it wouldn't be quite so bad if we didn't just focus on what is termed lurid pictures. The real story is why do we lie in the first place.

My belief is that if you come out at first with the truth, no lies, no cover up, people are pretty forgiving. The truth sets you on a path to recovery or redemption much quicker. You save yourself having to fix two problems instead of just one.

But what a lot of people tend to depend upon is the short memory of others. If I lie and get away with it, they believe "no foul, no harm." But if I get caught in the lie, people will eventually forget about it. the only problem is that it doesn't make you a better person. Not telling the truth pulls you down and makes telling the next one easier and more costly. Lies will only hurt you and those close to you.

So try telling the truth upfront. It is going to hurt most certainly and maybe its that pain we are trying to avoid. But the pain is short-lived and redemption so much greater. Your life will be greater for having told the truth.

Broken Lens

"There are always flowers for those who want to see them." -Henri Matisse

There will be times in our life when the rose-colored glasses we wear might get broken. Disappointment can occur due to circumstance, change or other unforeseen instances. The pessimists in our life will certainly try to pull us down to their way of thinking. The pebbles they throw may break our view of life. The lens can be repaired, your optimism restored.

Love Is

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.' -Lao Tzu

This is a special day for my wife and I as we celebrate an anniversary. It is the type of day that is only understood by two people. It can only have meaning for those two hearts.

The words between two people are not shared in a blog or video. Only two people can understand the words each speak. It is in the sound, the touch and the unspoken looks.

That is what love is.

Graduation is Over

"When you get to be our age, you all of a sudden realize that you are being ruled by people you went to high school with ... You all of a sudden catch on that life is nothing but high school." -Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt wrote the above when he was 47 years-old during the time of the Vietnam War and after many years that drifted him through World War II and numerous jobs. It is a topic that could get wide spread discussion at a party. Both in regarding the quote and Kurt Vonnegut's life. But it also makes you stop and think about what one has done with their life since high school.

In a Time article by Annie Murphy Paul titled, Life After High School the discussion does take place. Are we that same person we were in high school? Did the time we spend in high school dictate the person we have become? Maybe to some degree it does but it doesn't have to be that way.

The person you are in high school is not the person you have to be later in life. All of our life experiences, high school, college, work, travel, friends, and just about everything has an influence on whom we become. But the determining factor in whom you become is you.

Think of those movies which depict what a person in high school turns out to be at the ten year, twenty-five and so forth reunions. Most times they are over-dramatizations or generalizations of people. But we get a picture of people that really didn't change much from high school.

The sports jocks get depicted as faded stars still talking about the winning touchdown. The geeks are shown as brainiacs with a lonely career in research. The partiers are revealed to still be whacked out people with no job living under the boardwalk. The stereo-types go on and on.

And yes, there are those that do not change. There are people that tend to keep holding onto their high school persona, never growing beyond that point in life. But the stories I like to hear are those of people that, what I call, 'drink from the water of life.' The people that have taken their high school life and used it as a launching pad towards a greater life. People with changed livesthat take what life has to offer and makes it work for them.

When we leave high school and home, we have the whole world before us. We can choose the type of life we desire. We have limitless potential. There will be those that choose a simplified life, full of the wonders and joy that exist there. Others will choose the uncharted road that is also full of wonders and joy. The point being that there is no right or wrong, just do the things that fill your life.

If ten years from high school have passed and you are unhappy, then the water of life is there to drink from. You can change what is happening and move beyond it. The same is true for any point in life. This isn't to say that you run from responsibility or run just because things get hard. You need to work through and persevere, but you can adapt and change along the way as well.

There is so much you can do with your life. You can take advantage of the power to change at any point, situation or age. All it takes is being bold enough to move. Your graduation is over and there are no more tests to take, just life.

100 Percent

"Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. ~Katherine Mansfield

A friend sent me the following a while back and thought I would share with you. It goes on to complain (in theory) of how some people achieve more then 100 percent out of life. But I like the math as a reflection of our own attitudes. So for your enjoyment and consideration, what makes 100%, the math theory.

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The following comes from 2 math teachers with a combined experience of seventy years. It has an indisputable mathematical logic to it. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint, which goes like this:


What Makes 100%?


What does it mean to give more than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.


- How about achieving 103%?
- What makes up 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:


If the ABCs are represented as percentage numbers:
A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I--J--K--L--M--N--O--P--Q--R--S--T--U--V--W--X--Y--Z
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26

then
H-A--R-D--W--O--R--K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
-K--N--O--W--L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but
A--T--T-I--T--U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close,  it is Attitude that will get you all of the way there.

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There are other word combinations that will take you beyond 100% but its attitude that gets you there. Think about it and see if maybe your attitudedoesn't add up to getting 100% of what you want in life.

Two Hands

"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." -Arnold H. Glasow

I have had friends through out the years of my life that would fit the above quote perfectly. These people are ones that I hold close in my heart although many of them I have drifted from. With family and job changes, the miles and time seem to fill the gap. But I can truly say that these friends have helped shape my life.

I recently read a story to which I can't find an attribution or even how true the story is. But it does speak of friendship and what one will do for the other.

In WW1 an English soldier watched in horror how his lifelong friend fell under gunfire. All the soldiers had to retreat. The soldier went to ask permission from the lieutenant to go and fetch his friend from the no-mans-land.

The lieutenant gave permission, but added: "It is hardly worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may die too."

The soldier did not care about the warnings and miraculously he did reach his friend, lifted him to his shoulders and stumbled back. He was wounded in the process.

The lieutenant helped them to safety and noticed the soldier´s friend was dead. "I am sorry for your friend - but I told you it was not worth it. Your friend is dead and now you are also seriously wounded."

"I have to disagree with you. It was worth it", the soldier answered.

"What ever do you mean?" the lieutenant wondered.

"It was worth it", the soldier repeated. "When I got to my friend, he was still alive and said ´Jim, I knew you would never leave me.´

The friendships you receive in life are gifts. They keep you grounded when you begin to fly too high in self. They help pull you up off the ground when life is trying to bury you.

We know that these friendships will go through stages of closeness and also distance. But if you can point back to those that made a difference, then you are truly blessed.

For me I can count them on two hands. Two hands by which I can clench and stand my ground when circumstance tries to knock me down. Two hands to reach out and pull them up when they need me.

Remember your friends on this day, remember your friends tomorrow. Most of all, remember to be a friend.

Carpe Diem

"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." -John Keating, Dead Poets Society

Carpe Diem, an interesting phrase generally meaning "seize the day." It comes from a Latin poem written by Horace that has become sort of a statement of principle for many people. It is generally translated as "seize the day" and literally it means "to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, or gather", but Publius Ovidius Naso (better known as Ovid) used it to mean, "To enjoy, seize, use, make use of".

In Horace's poem, the long version is "Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero", meaning to "Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the future." His intent was to say that our future is uncertain and we should limit our hope's to a shorter future. In some respects he was speaking to people and business leaders that think short term goals or just the next quarter, so "drink one's wine."

In modern culture, I would argue that the quote above describes its use best. "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary", meaning to use each and every day to do something great. Don't waste a single day waiting for the next day to occur; choose now, not later. Begin to move your life forward, to find your dreams, to have a great and 'extraordinary' life.

The future exists but you have to move towards it. To sit idle and allow the future to find you, it will only find you in the same place, sitting idle. You have the ability to impact your own future. You can impact your own future. So "Seize the day, folks. Make your lives extraordinary."

Unexpected

"Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by being given the opportunity to do so." -Doris Lessing

So there we were, checking in the baggage for my daughter and grand-daughter to return to Los Angeles. The Delta agent was very kind and pleasant as she indicated the one suitcase would cost $115 US dollars. I'm not sure if my chin actually touched the floor, but it did hit the counter on the way down.

I fly quite frequently and had just never had occassion to check-in an overweight bag. So the base cost was $25 and an additional $90 for ten additional pounds over the 50 pound limit. It was all so unexpected I guess but then again I shouldn't have been surprised.

It is the unexpected that presents us with opportunity. I could have gotten upset and thrown a tantrum. I could have paid the additional money and been done with it. What we did do is pull ten pounds out of the bag. It is surprising how much shoes and jeans weigh! I can now take a US Postal service flat rate box; much cheaper and send it directly to their home.

There are many times in our lives when we get confronted by a challenge. Challenges that vary in degrees of difficulty and angst. It is what we do in those moments that define the outcome. Do we let anger and frustration take over? Do we allow it to overcome our life or do we look for the possible opportunity.

I fully understand that sometimes the challenge leaves us seemingly with no choices. My daughter may have had that presented to her had she been alone. But I have always felt there are choices which are sometimes very hard to make. And we usually fail to see them because they are hard choices. We choose not to even consider them because they are hard choices.

If all I have is $25 to pay for a checked 50 pound bag, then maybe I don't need that pair of shoes or jeans. Maybe I do without something else in my life. And don't get me wrong, my daughter did not have an over abundance of things and would have made the right choices. That I am confident of. Yet I see others struggle to make those hard choices in life. I myself have had to make them.

A recent movie called "The Company Men" explores some of these hard choices we have to make in life. One of the main characters, Bobby Walker (played by Ben Affleck) continues to hang onto the material possessions even with his family's lack of money. He finally has to make a choice to give up their expensive home and his beloved Porsche. You will say, sure, thats a movie but it does reflect real life.

Last fall a local church which does great community work was giving away food for the needy. All the groceries needed for a Thanksgiving dinner plus additional food was being given to those in need. All one had to do was drive to a parking lot, drive through and they would load you up with food. It was a great success and I commend them for the great giving heart.

What I did notice were the vehicles being driven. There were many average and well-used vehicles in line. But within the ranks were very nice and very new vehicles. I had to temper my thoughts about someone driving a new vehicle but needing food to put on the table. I wouldn't presume to know the individual stories, but my outward view is that maybe they need to make a hard choice to get rid of the expensive vehicle. Maybe the right choice is to get a cheaper car and have the money to put food on the table.

That sounds harsh I'm sure and it doesn't fix everything but it is a step. Don't take me wrong here as I can't say what goes through peoples minds. I am simply trying to illustrate a point about making hard choices. The unexpected is going to happen in our lives. A car break down, a new baby, a job loss, divorce or a myriad of other events.

It is what we do in response to the unexpected. Do we take that moment to view the new opportunity? Do we take that moment to make choices which keep our lives moving forward? Do we take that moment and confront the unexpected with the unexpected?

Keep moving forward, keep living, keep making choices even when the unexpected happens. You are capable of doing great and unexpected things. Don't let the unexpected defeat you. Do the unexpected.

Climb a Mountain

"Big thinking precedes great achievement." -Wilferd A. Peterson

On June 7, 1913, Hudson Stuck, an Alaskan missionary, led the first successful ascent of Mt. McKinley, the highest point on the American continent. Located in the state of Alaska, the mountain's Athabascan Indian name is Denali, meaning "The High One." In 1896, it was renamed in honor of Senator William McKinley, who became president of the United States that year.

When they set foot on McKinley's south peak, considered the mountain's true summit, it was an achievement many thought unattainable. A member of the group, Robert Tatum later commented, "The view from the top of Mount McKinley is like looking out the windows of Heaven!" To achieve something so large took large thinking.

It took thinking beyond the word no. It took believing in themselves and in the possibility of something greater. It also took them seven and a half weeks to climb what amounts to fourteen Empire State Buildings. A total of 20,320 feet into the bluest reaches of the sky.

Nothing comes easy in life. To scale the highest mountains of your life, it can take time. But you can take an ordinary day like June 7 and turn it into a great achievement. It all starts with thinking big things for your life and then living your journey today.

Start dreaming of large mountains to climb and then start climbing. The top isn't nearly as far away as you think.

Monday Morning

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love." -Marcus Aurelius

Here it is, Monday morning and I can hear the collective groan that comes with the rising sun. The alarm shatters our peaceful slumber and no matter how hard we try, the day must start.

Is it lack of sleep that causes our angst in getting up? If so, maybe you need to adjust your sleep pattern to obtain the right level of sleep. Maybe depression has entered your life and you haven't realized it. If so, then read up about it but more importantly, go see your doctor.

Could it possibly be that you simply are not satisfied with the amount of stress in your life? When we feel stressed and overworked, we try to "plow on through" the list of things to do. This causes additional stress which in turn can turn our motivation into a lack of it. It is these moments we need to stop and step back to relax.

Maybe you need some new techniques to recharge your life. Psychology Today provides some helpful tips to do just that. In an article titled How to Recharge and Get Motivated, it offers advice on just that. A dip in your personal motivation will work against you and make those mornings more difficult. Try something new in order to lift the stress from your life and raise the motivation.

Monday morning is always going to come, as is Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. While we may not want to jump up in joy with the birds, taking care of ourselves will make all mornings a little easier to enjoy.

Brush With Something

"With the brush we merely tint, while the imagination alone produces colour." -Theodore Gericault

Once in a while you get the chance to brush by fame. In this case, it was Salman Rushdie. Or so I believed it was him when having breakfast at my hotel in London one morning.

I was on a business trip and due to my frequent hotel stays, the club room is a convenience that makes the trip much easier. I was always asked, why not ask to take a picture, why not engage in a conversation, why not....

But I did not ask and here is why.

In all of my travels, it is very rare that I come within ear shot or even see famous people. For all of the media exposure that so many get, there are so many others that are average, everyday people like you and me.

So it was with great interest that the man sitting one table away from me seemed very familiar. In my hotel in central London, the business lounge provides breakfast on the top floor for members. This particular morning I chose a later time to arrive.

With only three of us in the room, there was no particular reason that I sat near this man. The only thing that drove me that direction is that it was close to the television. It also gave me a clear view of the Thames River. Well then again, maybe I did have a reason for sitting where I did.

Something about the presence of the man sitting near me and his familiar face told me he was of some importance or celebrity. After a short while it dawned on me that it could very well be Salman Rushdie. Yes, that famous auther who wrote the Satanic Verses which became the scorn of many Muslims. So much that in 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini, (leader of Iran at the time) issued a fatwa or decree telling all Muslims to kill Rushdie and his publishers.

Salman Rushdie was placed under police protection by the British government. As of this year (2010), Salman has not been harmed, but it is said that 38 others connected with the book have been killed.

So my mind kept thinking and rationalizing his presence in this place. No body guards and such. But after so many years, I had to think he had slipped back into obscurity and maybe it just wasn't as big of a concern anymore.

But was it really Salman Rushdie? I never asked because I've always felt that there are times of approach and there are times of quiet. This seemed like a time of quiet. We both nodded a good morning to each other and left each other to our quiet and peaceful breakfast.

He may have simply been a person that looked extremely similar to Salman, but I'd like to think otherwise. That I had breakfast with Salman Rushdie and that we enjoyed the peaceful quiet of the morning.

Each of us need those quiet moments in time. To pull ourselves back from the hurried and noise filled life that surrounds us each day. A time to reflect on things that matter to us. A time to just let down our guard a little bit and not be looking over our shoulder.

Maybe next time I'll ask to be sure, but then it might disappoint me. Then the peaceful and quiet breakfast that I had with Salman Rushdie will disappear forever for both myself and for him.

Another Brass Ring

Picture comes from The Brass Ring Poem, by Janet Boyd.

It is well worth a read when you finish here.

"We dance around the ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows." -Robert Frost

This article was an early one in my blog writing days. It shows that I was still learning how to structure the pictures, the quotes, the links and my thoughts. But I found it to be a good one that even today gathers a fair amount of views.

I was recently reminded of the article while watching a show about amusement parks. One in particular was the Looff Carousel at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk amusement park in Santa Cruz, California. It features a brass ring dispenser that was interesting to hear about.

So without anymore ado, the original post titled "Grab A New Attitude - Grab The Brass Ring".

Ever sit around thinking about how your life could be different. Going round and round in your mind, like sitting on a merry-go-round.

Maybe daydreaming at work regarding how much you may not like what it is you do.

Maybe sitting in traffic between your place of work and home wondering if your well used vehicle couldn't be replaced by a new one.

Maybe at home watching television on that 25" envisioning what it would be like to have a large screen version with surround sound.

Maybe just wishing you had more meaning or purpose in your life.

Daydreaming, wondering and envisioning is good. Everyone should have dreams and goals for a better life. But you wonder how can I ever achieve them? How am I going to grasp that 'brass ring'?

Stop and think about the merry-go-round. Around and around and around and around in circles with the same music. As an amusement ride, I love them for the memories it brings back growing up. For the simplicity of the ride, for the safety of the ride. What can go wrong in a round the circle ride. I had always wondered why the 'brass ring' was there. It hit me years ago that it is there to add a bit of excitement to the ride.

For those that dared to, they could reach out in an attempt to grab it. Maybe earn a free ride or a prize. Many wouldn't try, simply content to hold on tight to go around and around and around. The ones that did keep trying to grab the brass ring eventually succeeded. They had the courage to overcome fear and reach out. What then was left? To move on to another more exciting ride. To take a chance at something different. To move on from the same thing over and over, around and around, again and again.

Get out there and make a move. Sitting still, not changing the way you do things results in just that - nothing changes. Another year goes by, around in a circle on the merry-go-round watching the brass ring pass you by.

Don't wait - reach out and make a change in your life. Reach for the brass ring, do something to help someone else, move your attitude to a higher plateau. Start moving and change will occur.

Fishing Advice

"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself." -Oscar Wilde

The following article was originally posted on February 13, 2007. I thought it was a pretty decent article about taking care of your relationships. What I didn't expect was how the title "Mending Fishing Nets" would become a search item for fishermen.

I was getting so many hits to the article, I had the sense that maybe it was a great article. Yet I tempered my excitement and soon realized the majority were from coastal locations. These were people actually looking for advice on mending a fishing net.

To make sure I didn't turn away those people, I changed the articles to give links to some actual sites offering that advice. I also gave these people an offer to return to my site later for motivation and inspiration.

I still get quite a few hits to these articles. So hopefully I'm providing a good service. In a way maybe I'm helping fishermen become fishers of men.

So here is the original posting:

Your life is like a series of connections, like the knots of a fishing net. Each knot is a relationship with another person. As these knots or connections grow, the larger the net becomes. Your impact on other peoples lives grows as well.

But you can't simply create a connection and forget about it. Each knot of the net has to be tended to. When a weak spot develops, a hole can develop. Not only your relationship but a piece of your life slips through.

When this happens, what is left will be difficult to gather back in. So mending and caring for each connection is important.

These relationships are more important than having all of the money in the world. These relationships define who you are. An old saying goes something like this, "he who dies with the most toys wins." But the reality of it is that "he who dies with the most toys still dies."

Tend to your life net connections, those relationships that will improve your life and others. The net will be there when you fall and help you when you recover. It will impact and connect many people to many others. It is your impact on other lives that will mean the most when life ends...a lasting memory to guide others when you are long gone.

Sufficient Love

"Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love." -Khalil Gibran

A bit light on articles this week although I plan on posting a couple of favorites from the past. I am taking this week to clear up a few things at work and then spend the rest with family on a short vacation.

The picture and quote shown above are a little hint of what my next book will be. I'm still a ways off but plan to have it ready for Christmas gift giving. As the time draws closer, I will give you more bits and pieces.

Until then, the books I have out there already could always use another reader. I am also working on getting them into eBook format which will make the whole idea of becoming an avid reader of mine easier.

All I ask is that you keep reading, keep dreaming, but more importantly keep moving forward.