Chains That Bind

"So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key." ~The Eagles, "Already Gone"

We have a tendency to place limitations on our own lives. We believe that many of those limitations are placed there by others. The source of all our failure is someone else. There will never be any rising above our circumstance if we do not step beyond those thoughts.

Much of our failure is due to self-defeating words we speak inside. The kind of words we tell ourselves which are negative in nature. When you look down deep, you will find the word that has been holding you back.

It may be fear, fear of failing at what you want to do. Do not forget that many successful people failed many times before success happened. Yet they kept learning from it and kept moving forward.

It may be hurt, hurt from what others have done or said to you. So much that you have accepted that pain from them. Let go the pain and leave it in the past. Move on and away from what was.

It may be dumb, feeling you are not smart enough to do anything more then you have. We each have levels of ability, but reading more and believing in experience of life will allow you to become more knowing.

It may be self worth, that others have told you so many times you would never amount to anything. Those people can not determine your value in life, those were only words that you have to release from your life.

These and any of those defeating words need to be removed from your mind and more importantly from your heart. They are the chains that bind you from achieving so much more in life. And you hold the key to remove those chains, no one else.

Replace the negative with positive words. Replace fear with courage, replace dumb with smart or replace ugly with beautiful. These words will eventually overpower and become the norm in your life. You need to speak these words when you speak of yourself, never the negative ones. You will begin to believe and draw strength from them.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about sitting in front of a mirror like that character from Saturday Night Live, Stuart Smalley. What I am talking about is believing in yourself and not letting others dictate who you are.

When you step out of the labels that others have placed upon you, your life becomes much clearer. You unlock the weight of those chains that you have allowed to become a part of your life. Only you can choose to change, only you can choose to unlock the door through which you step. Your world, your life will be greater.

Stay inspired my friends!

Your Freeway

"The best path through life is the highway." -Henri Frederic Amiel

One morning as I was driving to work, my usual route took me from side streets to a major road and eventually onto the freeway. My commute is an early one but short. I normally head out for work around 5:30am and during these times, the traffic on the freeway can be unexpectedly busy. It requires the ritual of merging into and yielding at times to the cars already moving.

Each of those cars, those people, are driving towards destinations possibly similar to yours. Others might be heading towards home, on vacation or simply out for a drive. Although I would hope at 5:30am, insomnia doesn't cause one to get up and simply drive around.

Yet each of us had to merge onto the freeway to get where we needed to go. We each needed to step into this flow of life flowing past us. It required us to have confidence that we could speed up and become part of life flying by so quickly. We merge into the stream of life and head towards our goal.

One could easily remain parked along the side of the road. Maybe still parked in your driveway, trying to muster the courage to even start the car. We each encounter those moments of doubt. We wonder if we have the ability to move forward in life. This self-doubt can have a paralyzing effect on our ability to achieve anything in life.

In order to achieve your dreams, you have to learn to trust your own ability and to believe in yourself. Not many of us can afford to have someone drive us to success. In fact, those that can most likely started like you, sitting in their car, in their driveway, questioning themselves.

The difference is that they started the car and backed out of the driveway. They drove down the street, onto a major street and then passed that freeway entrance sign. They merged into life's stream of movement and believed in what they could achieve.

You can do the same thing by believing in yourself. Drive past the freeway entrance sign and get into the flow of life. Head towards your dreams and let a new world open up before your eyes.

Stay inspired my friends!

Another Pleasant Day

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same." ~Francesca Reigler

The sun does not shine every day, the good times do not always roll and smiles do end upside down; all of this is a given. They are a fact of the life we live, day in and day out the circumstances change. Even from moment to moment they can change. Life would be pretty boring if everything was happy, sugar and kisses all of the time.

I am reminded of a movie a few years back called Pleasantville in which television characters lived the idyllic life. In the beginning, it is said by the weatherman, "Well, it looks like we're going to have another sunny day - high 72, low 72, and not a cloud in the sky."

But the black and white scenes begin to gather color in this television land called Pleasantville. The line now becomes, "Nothing is as simple as Black and White." Which is something we learn in our own life; the colors abound and we work through each of them.

The colors or "happiness" is what we choose them to be. In those moments when the colors become dull and depressing, we can choose to find the hues of happiness. A cloudy day has its own beauty. A rainy day provides wondrous reflections in the pools of water on the sidewalk.

No, we do not get to choose the circumstances we encounter most of the time. But we do get to choose the attitude we have. Find happiness within your circumstance and see the colors come back into your life.

Stay inspired my friends!

Ain't Life Grand

"Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music." -Ronald Reagan

Each of us have a way of making the blues disappear after a hard time. In music, the lyrics can tend to lift us from those sad or tough times. Finding the right song can sometimes take a lot of searching through your song lists to find just the right one.

One of those songs I have found comes from a group called Widespread Panic. The song is titled "Ain't Life Grand" and it says to me that despite all else, life really is good.

The sun came out the other day
Through those dusty clouds
And in my mind I was a child
And it felt good!

And it does feel good today. Even with many of the circumstances that can bring us down, life really is a great thing.

Remind yourself that there really are many great things you have in this life. And after you allow yourself that bit goodness inside, it will have felt good because "ain't life grand?"

Shaping Yourself

"Such is the state of life that none are happy but by the anticipation of change. The change itself is nothing; when we have made it the next wish is to change again." -Samuel Johnson

In his book, Attitude 101, Dr. John C. Maxwell provides us with a list of those things which shape our attitude.

1. Personality - Who Am I
2. Environment - What's Around Me
3. Word Expression - What I Hear
4. Adult Acceptance/Affirmation - What I Feel
5. Self Image - How I See Myself
6. Exposure To New Experiences - Opportunities For Growth
7. Association With Peers - Who Influences Me
8. Physical Appearance - How We Look To Others
9. Marriage, Family And Job - Our Security And Status

So what are those things shaping your attitude?

Some of the above are self explanatory and others may require you to read more in order to understand them. But the idea here is to start seeing areas that effect us. In example, word expressions and what you hear. If you are around those that are constantly speaking in non-positive ways, you can become trapped and accept that life is just as they say. Counter those negative words into positive ones or, radical thought here), change who you hang around with. Get in the circle of those that are more positive and life affirming.

Take a bold step forward, any step, any type of change. And here is your bold step, pick one of the nine. Choosing from the list above, select one and try changing just that one area of influence for the better.

- Maybe it is simple as finding some source to read more about the list - Attitude 101.

- Maybe it is sitting with someone different (a cheerful person) for lunch.

- Maybe it is a change of clothes, new haircut, shaving your beard, or new pair of shoes.

Little things will spur you to make another change. This leads to more changes and before you realize it, your life has been impacted for the better. Others will notice the change and that will impact them. Some may not like it as you begin to ascend from the negative depths of living. But there will be many that will ride the elevator with you to new heights, cheering you on.

Make a positive change in your life and stay inspired my friends.

Did You Hear That

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." -Doug Larson

Wait, did you hear that?

Stop what you're doing, turn down the radio or TV and listen. At first it sounds like complete silence, but keep listening, the noises going on around you, the conversation in the distance, a plane going by overhead or maybe the bark of a dog.

It is difficult to hear all these different things when you do not stop and listen carefully.

Focus on the silence and think about when you are listening to someone speak to you. Are you focusing on what they are saying? If we don't listen carefully, we miss out on a chance to learn something new. J.W. Marriott, Jr. said and I paraphrase, "...one who doesn't listen well risks missing critical information, losing (or never winning) the confidence of the other and forfeiting opportunity."

There are times when I will sit in a quiet room and simply work on listening. Practicing how to focus on different sounds and trying to identify them. One of the things I work on is simply being still. It was said by someone that said, "...in order to say the right thing at the right time, keep still most of the time."

Listening to others comes very natural to some and can be a learned skill by others. But either way, listening is important to our daily lives. Try it some time - focus on the other person and absorb what they say, regardless of how slow or fast they may talk. Whether you agree or disagree with them, you may just learn or find new possibility.

Wait, I did hear that!

Stay inspired my friends.

Clarity of Vision

Flint Castle, North Wales

"Clarity affords focus." -Thomas Leonard

Joseph Mallord William Turner, was born in Covent Garden, London on April 23, 1775 and died December 19, 1851. Turner was an English Romantic landscape artist, whose style is said to have laid the foundation for Impressionism.

It is in this painting I see the sun coming up on a new day. The ships are not quite ready to set sail because not all is in focus just yet.

Your dreams or visions are just that, dreams and visions that are not yet in focus.

Now is the time to start wiping the sleep from your eyes and finding clarity. By stepping forward, by beginning your movement forward, the picture will start to become more clear. It will gain clarity and allow you to set sail.

Stay inspired my friends.

Get Yourself

"One of the most powerful spiritual gifts we have is encouragement. Encouragers defend, inspire and believe in people." -Dean and Jill Sweetman

There are four keys to having a positive attitude and enabling your ability to encourage others.

1. Learn to encourage yourself and develop relationships with encouraging people.
2. Remove unnecessary discouraging influences from your life and let everything be done to build up your spirit.
3. Watch, read and listen to what builds you up.
4. When circumstances challenge you determine ways to keep a great attitude.

These four keys are a simple and easy way to remember that your attitude makes all the difference.

Get yourself in order...you can be the biggest inspiration to yourself if you simply try.

Get yourself in a good place...where bad attitudes are not an influence to deter you from the greater good.

Get yourself informed...keep learning as life is a constant education.

Get yourself inventive...for when things happen, you have the courage and faith to keep your attitude positive.

Be a person of good attitude and see your life transform into something greater. And stay inspired my friends.

Person of Importance

"The significance of a man is not in what he attains, but rather what he longs to attain." -Kahlil Gibran

We can feel pretty small in what some may call the "grand scheme" of life. We can tend to feel awfully insignificant with all that goes on around us. Take for instance the size of the earth. The planet Jupiter is eleven times larger than our living planet earth. And that giant object which sustains us, the Sun, is 109 times larger than the planet earth.

It can really start to make us feel small.

But each of us are important and significant within the realm of our life. To those in our life, our family, our friends and those we come in contact with every day. It sounds very much like the Frank Capra movie called "Its a Wonderful Life" but it is true; you do matter.

All that you do has impact either good or bad. You get to choose which it is going to be. My hope is that you will make the good choices. And know that you are a person of importance.

Stay inspired my friends.

Glorious Easter Sunday

Matthew 28:5-10

5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” 8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Have a great and awe inspiring Easter Sunday!

Good Friday Lesson

"You must never conclude, even though everything goes wrong, that you cannot succeed. Even at the worst there is a way out, a hidden secret that can turn failure into success and despair into happiness. No situation is so dark, that there is not a ray of light." -Norman Vincent Peale

Each of us will go through points in life that cause us to question whether we can complete the journey. It could be finishing high school, years of college debt, loneliness, divorce or the death of a loved one. There are so many stories each of us could tell. You could call these testimonials of ones completed journey through a tough change in life. The completion of one journey is the start of another using the lessons learned.

Yet the path we are on can get quite dark at times. There are times of pain due to health or the crush of a lost relationship. There are times of economic strain, lack of wisdom on what to do with our life and anxiety over things uncontrolled. The tunnel we have entered grows darker with the fading light behind us.

there are of course many things to help cast light upon our darkened path. We have words of encouragement, along with family and friends to help lift us up. We can trust in our own foot steps as we feel our way along the pitch black walls of the tunnel, straining our eyes for any hope.

But we also have one great and wondrous thing going for us.

We have what is being celebrated by Christian believers. We have the gift given to us by the ONE that died in that darkness so our own darkness was given light. It is the knowledge which places a light at the end of the tunnel, offering us a beacon of hope to carry on.

Have a Good Friday, joyful Easter and stay inspired my friends.

Forgive and Move On

"I couldn't find anywhere, in any book I ever read, including the Bible, that said in order to forgive somebody, they had to ask for it or that they had to deserve it." - Andy Andrews

In an article written by Andy Andrews, he writes about having a forgiving spirit. "Forgiveness is the ultimate course in anger resolution. Everything I read said, "Forgive. Let it go." Forgiving someone is the ultimate gift to ourselves because, it effects us much more than it does them. Forgiveness IS anger resolution!"

As a matter of everyday life, as humans we tend to cling to old hurts and transgressions against us. There always seems to be that one nagging mental picture in our mind of someone that did something to or against us. The driver that cut us off in traffic, an old lover or a co-worker.

What happens is that these nagging thoughts prevent us from moving on. It holds us back and makes our load so much heavier. If we are holding onto olds hurts, we can not improve or allow ourselves to gain our life back and make it a better life.

So Andy suggests to sit down with a pen, piece of paper and ask yourself a few questions. Jot down names that come to mind and when done, ask yourself, "Is this a person I need to forgive or someone from whom I should ask forgiveness?"

He then provides some samples of questions (you can come up with your own) and reminds us that the quality of your answers is going to be determined by the quality of your questions.

• "What one decision would I make if I knew it would not fail?"
• "What one thing should I eliminate from my life as it holds me back from reaching my full potential?"
• "Am I on the path of something absolutely fantastic or something absolutely average?"
• "Am I running from something or to someone?"
• "What can I do to make better use of my time?"
• "What impossible thing am I believing right now and planning for?"
• "What is my most prevailing thought?"
• "What good thing have I previously committed myself to do that I've quit doing?"
• "Of the people I respect the most, what is it about them that earns my respect?"
• "What would a truly creative person do in my situation?"
• "What outside influences are causing me to be better or worse?"
• "What gifts, talents, or strengths do I have?"
• "I know I don't know the answer right now, but if I knew the answer, what would I say?"
• "What is one thing I can do for someone else who has no opportunity to repay me?"
• "Who do I need to forgive?"

Enable yourself to move on. Forgive yourself, forgive others and get on living your life. As Andy states, it is difficult to "fight an enemy that has a built a fort in your head."

Start your day with forgiveness, have a forgiving spirit. Stay inspired my friends.

21 Ways

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ―Oscar Wilde

For the life of me, I can not remember where I found these. But I wrote them down and tucked them away on a sheet of paper quite some time ago. Looking through those papers, it seemed like the right time to post them. My apologies for lack of attribution, but whomever did, the credit is all yours.

Try some of these and see if it changes your life; for the better.

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear or spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

Stay inspired my friends.

Ordinary People

"I believe in the power of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. So look for in people the talents and possibilities they possess." -Unknown

Each of us have varying talents and abilities. Throughout your day, you will be bumped, annoyed, flustered, angered or even insulted by other people. Your first reaction will be the most important thing you will have for the moment. This is because we tend to judge each other by first impressions and many of these 'firsts' can cloud our ability to see the true person.

You want others to see the real you, the talented and good person that you are is sometimes not seen in that first impression. The true test comes when you are challenged to see the possibilities in others. When you get bumped, annoyed, flustered, angered or even insulted by other people, will you look beyond the first impression?

If you can see the talents and possibilities others possess, then just maybe they will see yours. Believe in the power of ordinary people, believe in your self...so much more exists when we look past first impressions.

Stay inspired my friends and have a great weekend.

On Course

"Even though I focus on the priorities in life; God, Family and everything else, I drift. My humanity pulls me off course. Life will always have a way of doing this. Learn to recognize that you have drifted and then correct your course. Align yourself to what is important." -Dean Sweetman

It happens to all of us, we are cruising along the highway of our lives and we become distracted. We take a wrong turn or see something off to the right that looks interesting. The path we are taking goes off in a direction that pulls us from what we know is important for our own life.

Accept that each of us stray from our own path and that finding our way back is always possible. Learn from the experience and let it give you greater strength to keep on track.

As always, stay inspired my friends.

Look in the Mirror

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
-Jean Paul Sartre

There will be many with varying opinions regarding Mahatma Gandhi, but one of his self-effacing views was that the most important battle he had to fight was in overcoming his own demons, fears and insecurities. He thought it was all too easy to blame people, governing powers or enemies for his personal actions and well-being. Gandhi said that the solution to these types of problems can normally be found just by looking in the mirror.

Take note that the point being made is that it begins with you. Personal responsibility for ones own actions and attitudes is the first step in changing for the better.

Take a look in the mirror first and by all means, stay inspired my friends.

Three Things

"Energy is liberated matter, matter is energy waiting to happen." -Bill Bryson

There are three things required to create the universe according to scientists; matter, energy and space. And no, I'm not here to debate or discuss the question of God or creation here. What I find interesting is how these three things can be applied to success in life. So stay with me here is you please.

1. Matter

While matter is considered the substance of which all physical objects consist, you consist of matter. But something else to consider is that you also matter in everything that you are. You are not simply the combination of molecules and other little bits and pieces. You are someone that counts in life.

2. Energy

With all of those molecules and little bits and pieces, there is energy in the movements that we make. When we sit still, nothing is produced. But when we get up and take a step, energy is transfered in that movement. With each additional step, the energy produced increases and your life is energized immensely.

3. Space

There is space between you and your destination, but it is not insurmountable. You can travel vast distances from where you are now to where you want to be in life. That space is only as large as your doubt. That space also gives you a wide and vast array of choice. You must take that space, regardless of its size, and make it your own.

The three things in your universe are the three things that make up the broader universe. Achieve more and greater things in life, your best life. And keep yourself inspired my friends.

What Guides Your Decisions

"Virtues are lost in self-interest as rivers are lost in the sea." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

In his book Faith In The Game, Tom Osborne writes "it seems too few decisions are made in our culture out of a concern for the common good. Too often money and self-interest are the only factors given much weight. Loyalty has become an almost forgotten attribute."

Have you found yourself making decisions in this manner?

Having a positive and serving attitude in life means one has to give less attention to self and more to others. It does not mean giving up the idea that money is important. But to base your decisions solely on money or self-interest will not generate long term results. Do not get me wrong, both money and self have to be considered. Yet the common good also has to be factored into the process.

Your decisions in life effect others around you. Making decisions should also involve thought to what impact it will have beyond self. We must remember that many things should be considered in our decision making process. Just try not to let money and self-interest become the driving force.

“Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.” - Henri Frederic Amiel (Swiss writer)

On a side note, I wish to congratulate Dr. Tom Osborne on his retirement from the University of Nebraska. Tom has had an amazing career both in the academics, athletics and government that is too much to write in this article. What I can say about Tom is that he has always been a leader among leaders while staying grounded in life.

On Saturday night, March 9, Tom was honored by many of his fans and others. He will be missed in the day-to-day University of Nebraska Cornhusker athletics. Thank you Dr. Tom and to Nancy his wife for so many years of greatness.

Lastly, I would like to say Happy Birthday to my departed brother John. We miss you and love you.

Stay inspired my friends.

Hard Coffee Road

"The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a surprise. Man's future is hidden." -Unknown

There is a phrase that I became familiar with growing up in the farmland of the midwest. If you were being given directions to get from one field to the next, you might hear "its a hard coffee road." The phrase meant that at least one of the roads being traveled was not in very good shape. More than likely it was a poorly maintained road full of ruts and bumps. In turn, it would be a hard road to drive down and drink coffee at the same time.

I have been down that type of road many a time. It is the type of road that you may have been down as well in life. A road you might be traveling in life, drinking a cup of coffee when all of a sudden things become quite bumpy. That nice smooth ride, sipping on your morning coffee suddenly becomes difficult and hard to enjoy.

There are going to be those days during your drive in life that drinking your morning coffee is difficult. The coffee will burn your lip, spill onto your tie and make you wonder why you even drink coffee. And know there are really only two options.

You pull over on the side of the road and enjoy your coffee, but to stop your forward movement is will not get you to your destination. Your coffee will either become cold or you will have drank until the cup is empty. You are simply left sitting on the side of the road and not one step closer to where you want to be in life.

The other option is to manage the situation and keep moving forward. You could always slow down a little bit while drinking that coffee. You could always put the coffee down for now, getting rid of that distraction and concentrating on the more important things. And even if you keep trying to drink the coffee, with it splashing back and forth. Remember that a little bit of spilled coffee is just coffee.

It might be a "hard coffee road" you are currently on, but just keep moving. There are better roads ahead for you.

Stay inspired my friends.

Doing More

"Do more more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work." -William A. Ward

Our lives are filled with chances to impact not only ourselves but others around us each and every day. Living one's life is not always easy and the words in a quote may seem trite or unrealistic to some. But the words are meant to encourage and inspire you, me and anyone that chooses to embrace the idea.

Your life can be better and it starts with making a change. Change can be just as difficult and you will ask yourself, "what if I make the wrong choice?" My first response to that is, "to not make any change means you will remain exactly where you are. Forever to worry and be dissatisfied with your place in life."

Change, good or bad teaches and expands our knowledge of life. You learn from a bad decision as much if not more than you do from a good choice. And I certainly do not wish for a series of bad decisions on anyone, but with bad decisions you learn to start making good ones.

Eventually you find yourself making more and more of the right ones. And while you are pushing forward with your life, remember the words, "do more than". Do more than just enough for yourself. Do more for others and you will find your life changed forever.

Stay inspired my friends.

Thinking Big

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.”
-Danny Kaye

Today is a simple message and that is to "THINK BIG" in life. It comes from Ben Carson's book titled Think Big: Unleashing Your Potential for Excellence. I would recommend reading Ben's story to fully appreciate how his life came about.

From its poorest beginnings to the success he has attained. Ben is described as a man who transformed himself from a ghetto kid into the most celebrated pediatric neurosurgeon in the world. It is a book that I found inspiring and it held concepts that we can apply in our own lives.

THINK BIG

T - talent: if you recognize your talents, use them appropriately and choose a field that uses those talents, you will rise to the top of your field.

H - honest: if we live by the rule of honesty and accept our problems, we can go far down the road of achievement.

I - insight: if we observe and reflect and commit ourselves to giving our best, we will come out on top.

N - nice: if we are nice to others, others respond to us in the same way and we can give our best for each other.

K - knowledge: if we make every attempt to increase our knowledge in order to use it for human good, it will make a difference in us and in our world.

B - books: if we commit ourselves to reading thus increasing our knowledge, only God limits how far we can go in this world.

I - indepth knowledge: if we develop indepth knowledge, it will enable usto give our best to others and help to make a better world.

G - God: if we acknowledge our need for God, he will help us.

You may not agree or possibly agree completely with many of the things Ben Carson says. But what you can do is apply those things in your life that will make you the bigger and better person.

Grab hold of a greater life by thinking bigger. And remember you can not just "think" big, you have to also "act" big. Stay inspired my friends.

Carrying Excellence

Ralph Marston said, “Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.”

I have strived over these many years to have the right attitude when it comes to my job. And I have not gotten to this point in my career by being the smartest guy. My success or your own, is measured in many ways but it is truly achieved by having an attitude of excellence.

Another quote from Ralph Marston that fits many successful people reads;

"Excellence can be obtained if you:
...care more than others think is wise;
...risk more than others think is safe;
...dream more than others think is practical;
...expect more than others think is possible.”

You will find that those words can fit into your life as well. You can excel in life and overcome challenges to be successful. Just know that challenges will always be there, but you will be better prepared to face and overcome each of them when you carry an attitude of excellence in your step.

Stay inspired my friends.

Pushing an Elephant

“We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.” -John Newton

The band R.E.M. released a song back in 1999 titled The Great Beyond. In it there was a line which went, "I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs, I'm tossing out punch lines that where never there". According to lead singer Michael Stipe, the song is "about attempting the impossible..."

Each day you get up, you have an opportunity to try the impossible. Each of us have different levels of achievement and it isn't about your 'impossibility' being any harder then my 'impossibility'. It is about what you believe you can do in your own life. To seek the impossible and achieve it. Know that we are not in a contest to see who had to work harder or who has the "larger elephant to push up the stairs." It is about you believing in your own abilities to push the largest elephant you can up those stairs. To achieve the greatest when others say it is impossible.

Focus on the impossible, be the visionary of your own life. Know that if you let go of yesterday, focus on today and be patient with what is coming tomorrow, you will have better success in accomplishing your dreams.

Stay inspired my friends.

Life of Integrity

"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." -W. Clement Stone

Webster's dictionary defines integrity as "a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values." The synonym for integrity is honesty. So why does there seem to be a lack of it in business and around us in general? An article in the Executive Travel Skyguide titled Leaders Wanted argues that "We are in an ethical crisis. Our capitalist system, which depends on checks and balances, is being tested by corruption, greed and manipulation."

In our society, competition and the wanton desire to get ahead of others tends to pull the worst out of some people. I certainly wouldn't label all businesses or business people out there as suffering from from this culture. But the culture of dishonesty and immoral business behavior is not a 'business' climate but a 'personal' climate.

It isn't your business place that causes you to lack integrity because you have choice in how you conduct yourself. "Integrity is a value, like persistence, courage, and intelligence. It is your choice of values and resolution to live by those values that form your character and personality. And it is integrity that enhances all your other values. The quality of person you are is determined by how well you live up to the values that are most important to you. Integrity is the quality that locks in your values and causes you to live consistent with them." (Importance of Integrity)

Search for and apply with integrity all that you do in life. Do not be overcome by the short term and many times disasterous results of taking the 'low' road. You'll be more successful in the long term, you'll be much more respected and you'll just be a better person. For those that lack integrity within their lives are known, others know who they are and frankly they don't have many true friends.

Be the better person, have the better life within.

Stay inspired my friends.

Doing Life Together

"To have common glories in the past, a common will in the present; to have done great things together; to wish to do greater; these are the essential conditions which make up a people." -Joseph Ernest

I am sure you have heard that phrase before, doing life together. It is a phrase that I was reminded of just recently. I was listening to a young couple talking about how their life together was so much more by being part of a larger group. That doing life together with others had changed their lives.

The phrase is most often used in biblical terms, meaning that God never intended for people to do life alone, but to do life together in community. In the medical world, it is said that "...even though research shows that people with strong social ties live longer than those who are isolated," says Shelley Taylor, a psychologist at the University of California in Los Angeles. "Making time for close relationships is as vital as many other things people do, perhaps more important," Taylor says.

I am not talking about living alone versus living in a coupled relationship. I am talking about keeping yourself connected to other people as opposed to living life as a hermit; alone in that respect.

But why stay connected with others?

For one, to live a long life we want the quality of that life to be great. The more contact we have with others as we age, the better we can be at retaining mental sharpness. This provides us with more ability to have that quality of life. A public-health study involving more than 116,000 participants found that people with strong relationships had less mental decline and lived more active, pain-free lives without physical limitations.

It is said that your brain needs you to get out and have 1,000 daily surprises. The stimulation of interacting with others and the new, exciting things that happen. Those are the 1,000 daily surprises. Staying socially connected at work, at home, at church or just in public down at the local coffee shop is important to your life. All of these things help provide those daily surprises.


So maybe you should stop in at the local diner, have a meal, strike up a conversation with others and just do life together and not be alone so much.

Stay inspired and connected my friends.

Serving Daily

"Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other. If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger and we will make not only our own happiness, but that of the world at large." -Mahatma Gandhi

In our daily lives, it is a fact that in one way or another, we serve people in many different ways. Acknowledging that serving others is one step in cultivating your own attitude into something great. Once you realize the servant nature of our lives, where we help others, success in your own life becomes quite evident.

The reward of that servant minded life may not seemso great in the beginnning. And believing in yourself as one who can do great things in service to others isn't an easy concept. You have to understand how you serve others and how much it impacts their lives. You should constantly work on improving how you service others and the success will follow.

When I travel on business, it is the little things I do that impacts the lives of other people. Whether it is opening a door for someone else, buying a cup of coffee for a coworker, or simply listening to their story - these things impact others. I have learned through out the years that these are things of service. I try to improve on them and notice as well when I forget or fail to perform them.

In the long run it simply becomes second nature.

Is it success? to me it brings me a feeling of success and has brought me great things in life so far. Sure, success is in the "eye of the beholder" and my eye is quite happy with what it sees.

Take a few minutes to stop and examine those things in life you do for others. Find ways to perform small things and see the reaction you get. See what it does to you personally in both happiness and success.

The video below comes from a series of commercials about an insurance company. It is not my intent to endorse this company, but every once in while we can learn a life lesson within those sixty seconds.

Stay inspired my friends.

The Economics of Anxiety

Photo Illustration: Getty Images, Getty Images/Hulton Archive

"Among those evils which befall us, there are many which have been more painful to us in the prospect than by their actual pressure." - Joseph Addison

Economic uncertainty, job losses mounting and most anything else you read about in the newspaper; all of these are reasons for anyone to develop high anxiety. This anxiety created by worry can be accompanied by physical effects such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, stomach aches, or headaches.

Physically, the body prepares to deal with a threat. Blood pressure and heart rate are increased, sweating is increased, blood flow to the major muscle groups is increased, and immune and digestive system functions are inhibited (the fight or flight response).

"We walk in circles, so limited by our own anxieties that we can no longer distinguish between true and false, between the gangster's whim and the purest ideal." - Ingmar Bergman

According to a Gallup Poll conducted in March of 2008, the percentage of Americans saying they worry "a great deal" about the economy surged by more than 20 points over the past year, moving the issue from 6th on the list of 12 national issues measured in 2007 to tied for first today with health care.

We only know so well that economic conditions have worsened considerably since that time. It would stand to reason that worry about how one will survive these economic times has increased.

WebMD offers some advice when fear rears its ugly head:

• Take time to pull back from the situation and delay immediate action; unless there's an open artery involved.
• Breathe! If you don't know how to do relaxation breathing.
• Try to be around people who are calm; it's infectious in a good way.
• Sit down and ask yourself to look for the positive side in this or the solution that is currently not being seen. Reach out to others.
• Let Scarlet O'Hara be your guide for a moment and remember that "tomorrow's another day." Even Annie knew that "the sun will come out tomorrow."
• Understand that FDR was right when he said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Don't let it crush you in its grip.

"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Do all you can to turn your concern and worry into something productive. Read something to learn how the economic conditions will effect you; of different ways to save money; of different ways improve your condition. Knowledge is a powerful thing and the more you learn, the better prepared you are to get through this.

Stay inspired my friends.

A short video from Dr. Phil McGraw talking about anxiety.

Power of Touch

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
-Leo F. Buscaglia

I believe the quote makes it very clear in a simple to understand way. The care of someone in even the smallest way can change their life. In doing so, the chances are great that it will change your life as well.

Stay inspired my friends.

How To Handle Stress

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." -William James

I was reading recently about stress and how our lives can become complicated to the point of not being able to think clearly. This point of unclarity can be described as the "accumulation of garbage" in ones head. To simply get beyond it, you need a way to shed and achieve peace within yourself.

Some people remove themselves to a quiet place to be alone for some amount of time. It may be only 15 minutes or possibly for an hour or more. This place is where you can think of all those things and then let them go out of your mind for a while. Don't attempt to block all of the thoughts when you go to this quiet place.

The more you try to force yourself not to think of them, the more you will. Simply let them flow and as you do, turn your attention to something else. The beauty of your wife and children, the excitement of a favorite sporting event or the memory of a nice afternoon at the beach.

How you cope with the stress of everyday life is what matters. You find a method that works and then you learn how to see the signs of stress coming on. Something will find its way to you, but be careful not to allow drugs or alcohol to be the source of comfort. Each of those and other harmful effects will soon make things worse.

Accept stress for what it is, a sign that you need to stop and relax. Become introspective at those points in time. Allow your mind to deflate from all that you are trying to process. It will help you see more clearly.

Stay inspired my friends.

Grab the Opportunity

Today is about opportunity, preparing for it, recognizing it and seizing it.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
-Charles R. Swindoll

When you adopt a positive attitude in life, you are setting the stage for yourself. Being able to say, I'm ready "no matter what" is an important part of opportunity. Many of us tell ourselves the time is not right or begin to prepare for it once opportunity is upon us. By then it can be too late to grasp hold of it.

“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”
-Sarah Caldwell

And when we have prepared ourselves, opportunity will be so much easier to identify. So many times we are wrapped up in our own misfortune, that you don't recognize the fact that opportunity is staring you in the face. We expend all our energy on complaining that opportunity slips by before we notice it. Only to repeat the cycle of despair or self complaining.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
-Seneca (Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD)

For those that do prepare and see opportunity, they grasp it when it arrives. There is no need to think but only to react and take hold of it. When you have prepared yourself, you understand that regardless of whether you succeed or fail, you will survive and move on. Opportunity is only the vehicle of change. It doesn't predict success nor does it predict failure, it is simply movement in your life. Seize opportunity and let the movement change you.

“Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals - Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.”
-Marsha Sinetar

Opportunity always comes your way. It comes in life changing ways, it comes in small and seemingly insignificant ways. Your life is full of these and with a positive view on life, you can take on these opportunities and turn them into great things.

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”
-Abraham Lincoln

Life will allow you the opportunity to have a great life. It takes an attitude of willingness to understand what it can do for you and those around you. Prepare for those opportunities, recognize them and take hold of every opportunity that comes before you. You will have a great life and you will make a great life for those around you.

Stay inspired my friends.

Did You Hear That

“Part of doing something is listening. We are listening. To the sun. To the stars. To the wind.” ―Madeleine L'Engle

Wait, did you hear that? Stop what you're doing, turn down the radio or TV and listen. At first it sounds like complete silence. But keep listening, the noises going on around you, the conversation in the distance, a plane going by overhead or maybe the bark of a dog.

It is difficult to hear all of these different things when you don't stop and listen carefully. Focus on the silence and now think about when you are listening to someone speak to you. Are you focusing on what they are saying? If we don't listen carefully, we miss out on a chance to learn something new. J.W. Marriott, Jr. said and I paraphrase, "...one who doesn't listen well risks missing critical information, losing (or never winning) the confidence of the other and forfeiting opportunity."

There are times when I will sit in a quiet room and simply work on listening. Practicing how to focus on different sounds and trying to identify them. One of the things I work on is simply being still. It was said by someone that said, "...in order to say the right thing at the right time, keep still most of the time." Listening to others comes very natural to some and can be a learned skill by others. But either way, listening is important to our daily lives.

Try it some time - focus on the other person and absorb what it is they say. Regardless of how slowly or fast they may talk. Whether you agree or disagree with them, you may just learn or find new possibility. Wait, I did hear that!

Having a Meal

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." -Rod McKuen

Have you ever just invited friends, family, coworkers and neighbors to your house for a dinner? A mixture of folks that are just great to be around and to have around for a couple of hours. This form of human interaction is a great thing for your attitude.

My wife is great at putting these things together, getting everyone to bring something to eat and share with others. Everyone sitting around talking, building relationships and just enjoying themselves. It brings a lot of positive feelings when people of varying backgrounds come together in the atmosphere of your home.

These types of get-together events are good for the soul...not only your's but those that attend. Friendships are renewed and strengthened. It is a chance to have a positive effect upon those around you; to lift them and bring a bit of good into their lives.

So why do I tell you this? It is because I have written many times about impacting the lives of others. Of stepping out and doing something. Simply starting to place one foot in front of the other is the way to do it. So here is a way to do just that and its easy. Invite one couple or two; maybe your brother-in-law and his wife as well. Make it a potluck dinner.

potluck: a communal meal to which people bring food to share.

Make it simple and don't over do it. Nothing special to do, just chat and maybe a ball game is on the T.V. Allow people to just talk about anything. And yes, talking about the weather is just fine. But try something folks, step out and start impacting folks.

Find your friends again...find a stranger and make them a friend. Maybe even for breakfast some Saturday morning; it could change your world.

Breakfast Interrupted from Marlin Network on Vimeo.

Stay inspired, you, my friends.

Let It Go

"We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." –Joseph Campbell

A single act that occurs to you can set the tone for your entire day, if you choose to let it. Those seemingly small 'slights' that are thrust upon you by another person. An example would be getting cut off in traffic.

This happened to me recently at a two lane right-turn when a person in the righthand turn lane decided to get into a hurry. They moved over into my lane as I was turning and nearly hit me. Now out of all the articles I've written, life happens and you should just let it go. But of course I couldn't for the first five or so minutes.

How could this person do this, 'what a jerk' and all the other thoughts you develop in these situations. Physically I could tell that it was upsetting me, I identified it and began a series of thought processes to bring me up from that low point.

You first identify that is has upset and is effecting you. Secondly, ask yourself why you are reacting in this manner. What is the reason that action upset you in the first place. Then begin to think about how you are going to let it effect you the rest of the day. If you decide to hold onto it and let it fester, the rest of the day is going to be miserable.

Let it go, chalk it up to simple human interaction. There was no real harm, so no real foul and you both move on. The problem is if you don't, it will impact how you deal with others during the day and can have disasterous results. Letting it go will free you to move on and have a productive day.

Release Your Fear

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." -Bill Cosby

My thoughts are simply, "step out of your fears today, to better position yourself for connection with others when you cross paths." Do not be afraid of placing yourself out there to experience change. To meet someone and later tell yourself, "if only I had...." will serve to keep you from achieving a better place in life. Release your fear of change today and look forward to your next encounter at the cross roads.

Stay inspired my friends.

Life Too Fast

“Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going to fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” -Eddie Cantor

Okay, I admit that I cut my ear while shaving. I'll have to go find my owners manual and relearn how to shave before I end up really hurting myself.

But just how in the world does one cut their ear while shaving their face? It is actually pretty easy from what I just recently found out. It requires a sharp razor, an early morning hour and just being in too big of a hurry.

To be in a hurry in life doesn't allow us to see all of the little things. We miss the fact that we have a razor in our hand swinging around our face. We 'race' down the road in our car, missing the little things along the way. We miss the small interactions with other people that add up to a lot of great things.

I know that one of my issues when traveling is that I move too fast. I jump in the car and the objective is to get from point 'A' to point 'B' as quickly as possible. So many times it results in missing great things which lie between those two points.

To slow down and experience life will result in fewer missed opportunities. Those are the ones that are there but we fail to see because we simply race on past without seeing them. Slow down and allow the details to become more clear in your life. Slow down and realize that the razor in your hand could possibly cut your ear.

Slow down and see so much more in life. Don't go through life like the Keystone Cops.

To Reach the Stars

"This journey has always been about reaching your own other shore no matter what it is, and that dream continues." -Diana Nyad

I have been asked why dream or plan for the future? The world could end tomorrow and if I am not living in the present, what will it have all been for? These people cite events such as the most recent meteorite strike in Russia as an example. While the scientists say these meteroites are not connected with the near earth asteroid fly-by of DA14, four hundred people did die according to news sources.

A small asteroid such as the one today only happen once every 1200 years. Yes, if it hit the New York city, it would wipe out all of it including a good share of the suburbs. But your chances of getting hit are very low. According to an article in The Guardian, the odds are;

- Earth has a surface area of 500,000,000 sq km (196,939,900 sq mi).
- Assuming meteorites can hit anywhere, one in 20,000,000,000,000 chance exists.

Assuming a random landing place is around a one in 20,000,000,000,000 chance of being hit, whic is the same chance as flipping a coin 44 times in a row and it coming up heads every time. Or slightly better than the chance of winning the lottery twice in a row.

- Assume that an individual person takes up the space of 1 sq metre (1.2 sq yd).
- There are roughly 6,700,000,000 people on Earth
- Chance of being hit is 6,700,000,000 / 20,000,000,000,000, or one in 3,000.

That back of the envelope calculation is close to NASA's quoted figure of one in 3,200. So again, why dream or develop a vision for your life? The reason we plan for the future is that the future will come about whether or not you want it to. Where you are today is not where you will be tomorrow, next week, next month, year or ten years from now. You can not keep life from changing around you.

That leisure suit may have been the thing for the moment way back when, but life has moved on. People change, people dream, people move forward to better things in life. You can certainly sit around in that old suit, waiting for a meteorite to hit that spot on planet earth. Or you can develop a dream, a vision that will pull you forward to greater things in life.

While a shooting star creates a brilliant light, it only lasts a few seconds. The real brilliance is in reaching for the stars. Stay inspired my friends.

Love Attitude

"An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for something. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event— this is often referred to as the attitude object. People can also be conflicted or ambivalent toward an object, meaning that they simultaneously possess both positive and negative attitudes toward the item in question." -Wikipedia definition

What is your attitude regarding love? Is it a positive view or a negative one? Do you really have a clear view as to what love is?

For most anything that you want to achieve in your life, will require an examination of your own attitudes. If you have a tendency to be negative about possibility in life, you need to change that. If you give weight to past problems when trying something new, you need to change that.

If you want to know how powerful love can be in your life, you have to be willing to change your attitude. You have to learn a new way of understanding what love is. Once you do, it can work great things in your life and the lives of those around you.

Start believing in yourself, change your attitude with action and realize the power of love in your life.

And stay inspired my friends.

Love Is on this day

Today I bring back a favorite post of mine as it reminds me of the love my mother and father had for me, my family and for others. It reminds me that love is our life.

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January 18, 2012

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Love Is a Googly-Eyed Frog

"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge." -Thomas Carlyle

As I continue to promote my new book "Love Is", I thought I would share some insight into the googly-eyed frog from the book. The picture I use is not of the actual art creation I made back in Kindergarten. I certainly wish it was but alas, you will have to read the book to find out why I do not have the original in my possession.

You see over my many years, I have always had the urge to be an artist. Raphael, de Goya, Monet, and Dali to name a few. There are so many others that I have come to enjoy over the years. Even in my earliest years, I felt a connection to the art one could make. I believe it is because art gave me a window to other possibilities in life.

The physical act of producing art was to me, an extension of one's imagination. A window into one's heart and soul where that imagination is birthed. And my googly-eyed frog was the earliest form of my own imagination being revealed.

Alas, I never developed a decent talent for the arts although I have dabbled in it from time to time. Painting, acting, singing, architecture and design are the purview of others. Even so, I have always relished in being close to it. To watch and be amazed by those with artistic talents.

One might suppose that I didn't try hard enough or work on the craft enough. Yet I seemed to realize early on that the various arts tend to have a natural ability that flows from the individual. It is similar to athletic ability and the great athletes in history. No, I eventually accepted the fact that my talent lay elsewhere.

My mother helped me to understand where my talents were. My father helped to build my talents. And together they gave of themselves so that I could master what it is I do today. Each of them had a loving heart to guide me early on in life. It is a loving heart for others that matters quite a bit in life. That is what "Love Is".

I would appreciate if you pass along the word of my new book. I have it available both in paperback and in eBook formats. I feel it is important to understand what love is in order to have a great life. I believe that this book will change people lives for the better. I believe it will change your life for the better.

Love Is will take you on one man's journey to find out what love really is. It will explore his life, the stories of others, and take a close look at the greatest love story ever told. So open yourself to a different and very real way of understanding what love is. After reading this book, you will have found one of the greatest things in life, which is love.

And stay inspired my friends.

Love Is Available

"Where there is love there is life." -Mahatma Gandhi

Tomorrow is a day assigned to honor love. History books will give us many reasons and understandings as to how Valentine's Day came to be. What I do know is that Love Is the reason behind it.

Stay inspired my friends.

Who Do You Love

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever." –The Notebook

This week is a week full of love as Valentine's Day approaches on Thursday, February 14th. It is a week in which our focus turns to the ones we love. We are reminded of why we first fell in love, of whom we love, our children, our parents and our God. It is a week in which we want to be loved and love others.

And while we will send cards and flowers, cute candy sayings and all forms of love's expressions, do we really understand what love is?

In my book Love Is, I examine what the true meaning of what love is. Can we experience love by only receiving it? Does love represent taking or giving? What do we truly obtain by accepting the power of what love can do in our lives?

There is something great packed into the words written in that book and as you will find out, words that will change your life and the way you think about love. What remains of our lives when all else is gone? If we take away possessions, notoriety and all of the other distractions that consume our life, what is always left in our life?

And it all reminds me to ask, "who do you love?"



Stay inspired my friends!